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  • localnotail 8 May 2011 17:39:35 23,093 posts
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    Sorry to hear about your change in fortune. It'll probably be really fucking shit for a while, but it will get better. Just don't get stuck in the emo-hole for too long. All the best.

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • CosmicFuzz 8 May 2011 17:53:10 22,917 posts
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    Sorry to hear that king. No doubt it will be pretty damn tough after 5 years. Had you got a place ready to go? Hope there's no deposit etc in place.

    Is the oldest cliche in the book but time is a great healer. Hang in there pal, it's gonna be tough just now but if you think it's for the best in the long run then it will be.

    Looking for a new gaming podcast? Try Open Source! (Featuring me!)

  • Jolly_Armadillo 8 May 2011 18:28:51 574 posts
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    Sorry to hear that mate. Wishing you the best!

    PSN: Jolly_Armadillo
    Xbox: Jolly Spartan

  • kingnothing12 8 May 2011 19:22:52 528 posts
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    CosmicFuzz wrote:
    Sorry to hear that king. No doubt it will be pretty damn tough after 5 years. Had you got a place ready to go? Hope there's no deposit etc in place.

    Is the oldest cliche in the book but time is a great healer. Hang in there pal, it's gonna be tough just now but if you think it's for the best in the long run then it will be.

    Luckily no, we had her aunties place set up for us as she was moving down south so no deposits have been put down. Time is the best healer but it just take's it's god damn time haha like i said before 5 years feels like a lifetime in itself, both of us will always love each other and she would like to think that even if a year down the line and our paths cross again, there is always a chance we could get back together like so many couples do.

    However in the mean time i can't think like that, this to me is a permanent break, wether the above happens is pure chance. It's even worse that i've got my house free for a week for us to get back on our feet and now i'm going to have to occupy myself with something else because i do not want to be bored shitless and alone as i know i will end up picking up the phone.

    Thanks for your replys.
  • LionheartDJH 8 May 2011 19:37:32 19,353 posts
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    Shit this sounds awful king, sorry to hear about it. As Cosmic says, while it's a cliché time really is your friend here. I think you're thinking right there, it has to be a permanent break, if you hang onto a hope that you'll get back together then you won't get anywhere, as difficult as it is to accept you have to move on. I can't pretend I know what you feel like but even though I've only had the one relatively short relationship, it felt like the bottom had fallen out of my world once it was over, so I can't imagine how bad you're feeling now :(.

    As for occupying yourself I'd say get in touch with some mates, go see them or get them to come see you, maybe go out for dinner or for a beer or something, just to get you out and about so you're not sat on your own at home all the time. Obviously you need your alone time to think things through and get all the grief out, but sometimes people just want to shut themselves off in situations like this, even though having friends and family around can do a lot to ease the pain.

    I know this is a major major blow, and it's going to be hard to come to terms with, but there really is a future even though you may not feel like that now. There will be some positives to come, and tbh I think it helps to think that if a relationship doesn't last, then it just wasn't meant to be. Try to stay strong mate.

    She dives for cheese pasties

  • PhoenixFlames 8 May 2011 19:46:58 8,895 posts
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    Go get booze and pussy. Stat.

    PSN - phoenix1flames

  • monkehhh 8 May 2011 19:49:20 3,258 posts
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    All the stuff that Lion' says and the various cliches too. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders king' so all the best.. time's your friend, stay strong and keep busy!
  • gooner77 8 May 2011 20:37:24 711 posts
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    What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
  • kingnothing12 8 May 2011 22:13:48 528 posts
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    Thanks alot guys and i will take your advice lion, she just left not long ago. We had a good last talk and yes it was emotional at times but it felt kind of mutual and in a 'no hard feelings' kind of way.

    There is still alot of sexual attraction and what not between us but this is for us to go live our life's for awhile and collect ourselfs in a way, as we had been kind of shit lately in the relationship department.

    While i do feel kind of ok now, i know that i'm in for a whirlwind of emotions for the next week or so but i think i should have some fun in the mean time.
  • Syrette 8 May 2011 22:30:59 42,984 posts
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    Think of all the extra gaming time!

  • heyyo 8 May 2011 22:32:53 14,374 posts
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    Listen to the lyrics here
  • Pirotic Moderator 8 May 2011 22:45:15 20,646 posts
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    gooner77 wrote:
    What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

    Or it'll just slowly drive you insane like Mercury.
  • ecureuil 8 May 2011 22:56:26 76,403 posts
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    kingnothing12 wrote:

    Well don't really know where to put this so thought i'd bump this thread even though it's over 2 weeks old.

    Pretty much split up with my girlfriend of 5 years, we were due to move intogether end of july but things have been hard for both of us these past couple months. It's more her decision but in the long run i do think it will be for the best.

    The fact that i've been working all weekend has made this even harder and to just suddenly cut contact with someone you have been so close to for 5 years is going to be really tough. Haven't been emo in a long time but i think this situation always calls for it.

    Fuck.

    Mate I know just how you feel. One tip: if you get the chance to go back, don't! It gets messy.
  • CosmicFuzz 17 May 2011 19:27:51 22,917 posts
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    o_O

    Looking for a new gaming podcast? Try Open Source! (Featuring me!)

  • Blotto 17 May 2011 19:31:29 2,675 posts
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    remagorue wrote:
    Why didn't you punch her in the face you pussy sort yourself out and man up and why ask advice on here this sites full of rapist.

    Glol! Potd.
  • Lukey__b 17 May 2011 19:31:38 3,725 posts
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    He does make a couple of good points.

    'Sup, what's guanine?

  • kingnothing12 18 May 2011 16:49:16 528 posts
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    Right well i thought i'd post an update and it's not going to be the one your expecting, what has happened in the last few days has been harder than any break-up that i have been through.

    So it's been around 10 days since i split with my girlfriend, i recover quite quickly and feel comfortable in myself, as it gets to around the 4th day i rang her mum as i needed to talk to her about other issues and she told me she was worried about her daughter, i just said maybe it's her way of dealing with whats going on. My ex's friends post some crap on facebook about her not shutting up in a joking way, i go about my way until i got curious on the 6th day. Her hotmail details are logged on my comp so i took a gander and notice some facebook inbox messages.

    A couple are from her ex when she was around 16, nothing suspicious from him just general friendly chat, she has always hated him, then come's this massive rant from her not making much sense and the last couple of sentences really struck a chord with me(something about her going out and doing something with some other guy) I felt sick, so i do the stupid thing and send her a text to come and meet me. No reply so i go out with my sis in her car to matalan, i get a couple of msgs from her friend saying 'are you with carly' 'call me asap!'

    So i call her friend who tells me there is something wrong with her, like she has been on speed and is all over the place. Now she is at my house, she gives me a ring and sounds a bit weird, took her over 20mins to get to me and i was only around 5mins away. Well suffice to say as soon as i saw her my heart broke. She was shaky, racing speach, jumping from one subject to the next and her driving was really dangerous.

    I get her into my house and breakdown infront of her as i know there is something really wrong and she almost comes down to reality for a moment but then back to this crazy talk, then it hits me. She has bipolar, she went through depression around a year ago and now she is manic.

    That day i must of spent about 4 hours on the phone to various close friends of hers getting all the info, then i ring her mum and tell her we need to act fast. Days have past she has got worse, speaking complete jibberish, she can't sit still. I've had to distance myself from her as it kills me to listen to her. At this point in time i'm getting updates from her friends and family, crisis team is involved and luckily she is now on lithium/tranqs and i just hope to God she comes down from this mania soon as it's heartbreaking to watch someone so close to me pretty much lose their mind. She knows we are still broken up etc

    Looking back at it now there were warning signs, on the day and the day before the break-up she did seem kind of different. She was slowly entering her manic phase and once the relationship split and there was that slight relief it just skyrocketed for her into this madness, she has probably slept around 6 hours in the last 10-12 days.

    Excuse myself for this extremely long post but i just was not ready for this, i'm getting better now knowing she has a strong support system and she is under medical watch. I love her dearly but i was already moving on and i don't think i could take care of her in the future considering we have been through so much over the last 5 years, it's just not fair to myself and everyone has said the same. Thanks for reading (there might be slight errors as i have not proof read)
  • LionheartDJH 18 May 2011 16:58:39 19,353 posts
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    Why didn't you take the sage advice?

    remagorue wrote:
    Why didn't you punch her in the face you pussy sort yourself out and man up and why ask advice on here this sites full of rapist.



    On a serious note that whole deal sounds awful mate, as if the break up wasn't bad enough having to deal with all that must have killed you :(. It's good that you showed so much care and got her the help she needed, and I admire how you've tried to distance yourself from being her bf and just tried to be a good friend and got help for her. As hard as it may be you are right, it's not fair on you to have to look after her in the future just because you've been together with her. I hope that she's going to be alright, and that you can keep making those positive steps to moving on for yourself. Sounds like an awful situation but I think you've handled it extremely well, just hope you can move on and have a better future yourself.

    She dives for cheese pasties

  • Jolly_Armadillo 18 May 2011 16:59:43 574 posts
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    Interesting read, glad you came out the other side well.

    PSN: Jolly_Armadillo
    Xbox: Jolly Spartan

  • kingnothing12 19 May 2011 10:39:42 528 posts
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    The most heartbreaking thing i now know is that i can never really go near her again, even say 6 months to a year down the line. Before i thought 'yeah if we meet up' we could have a couple 1 night things or whatever but because of our history and now her bipolar i just couldn't do it in fear that i could through no fault of my own cause her mania or depression knowing that she can't really be with me.

    Also i know that nearly after a big manic episode she will slip into depression and what scares me is that she broke up with me while in the manic phase. She kept saying 'i feel different, never felt this way' There i was just thinking she had changed her mind, is there a slight possibility that when she comes back to being normal she will regret what she has done with us and try to reconnect? Theoretically she hasn't actually delt with this break up in a normal state of mind as she was manic so again i'm thinking that could send her into depression, i love her so much and do miss her greatly but i know deep down that this is for the best.
  • jablonski 19 May 2011 14:22:05 2,760 posts
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    Sounds like she may have propelled herself into the break-up as some form of self-abuse.

    If you don't want to be involved now, maybe check back when she goes back to normal
  • cheeky_prawnking 18 Mar 2012 20:43:29 4,202 posts
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    I think I have split with my fiancee. Not really sure to be honest, have arguing most of the night for various reasons. I am for me suprinsingly calm and unfazed.
  • oceanmotion 18 Mar 2012 20:46:55 15,611 posts
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    I think the writing was on the wall when he started this thread.

    Edited by oceanmotion at 20:51:20 18-03-2012
  • cheeky_prawnking 18 Mar 2012 20:54:44 4,202 posts
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    Different woman, last one I can accept was my fault, this one more complicated.
  • jonsaan 18 Mar 2012 20:59:32 25,319 posts
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    Bad luck mate. Time to dig out those Laura Tobin contact details. It was you that went to college with her?

    Give her one from me. Hard.

    Edited by jonsaan at 21:00:04 18-03-2012

    FCUTA!

  • oceanmotion 18 Mar 2012 21:00:07 15,611 posts
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    I was going for the OP being your other half joke.

    Best of luck. Discuss your issues or something and see if it's a goer. Why be miserable :)
  • RedSparrows 18 Mar 2012 21:03:39 21,835 posts
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    Might not feel like much simply through shock.
  • cheeky_prawnking 18 Mar 2012 21:06:48 4,202 posts
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    The OP was my other half in so far as being my last profile.

    It has been shit for a while due to circumstance rather than fault hence the feeling. Will explain it when I get to a computer.
  • Khanivor 18 Mar 2012 22:56:55 40,295 posts
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    Sorry to hear that prawnking. At least you can take solace in that it could be a lot worse; here's hoping you keep strong king.
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