Best Man's Speech Page 4

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  • thedaveeyres 27 Jul 2010 12:14:17 9,715 posts
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    That's funny, I used www.makeweddingspeeches.com for my speech and it was a great success. Never having attended a White Supremacist wedding before, I wasn't sure if my material would go down well, but fortunately, thanks to www.makeweddingspeeches.com, I was able to deliver a frothing racist diatribe that would've made Hitler himself proud.

    Thank you www.makeweddingspeeches.com!

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  • Fab4 27 Jul 2010 12:24:10 5,692 posts
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    I was lucky, my friend's wedding was late November in Australia, so a lot of people couldnt make it. The bulk of my speech was reading out cards from people who couldnt :)
  • LockeTribal 27 Jul 2010 12:36:22 4,443 posts
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    This is an absolute train wreck of a best man's speech. Mate of mine was at the wedding and said it was absolutely excruciating watching it happen :)
  • Fab4 27 Jul 2010 12:42:18 5,692 posts
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    LockeTribal wrote:
    This is an absolute train wreck of a best man's speech. Mate of mine was at the wedding and said it was absolutely excruciating watching it happen :)

    I'm from Northern Ireland and I havent a fucking clue at what he is saying half of the time :)
  • LockeTribal 27 Jul 2010 12:47:12 4,443 posts
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    Fab4 wrote:
    LockeTribal wrote:
    This is an absolute train wreck of a best man's speech. Mate of mine was at the wedding and said it was absolutely excruciating watching it happen :)

    I'm from Northern Ireland and I havent a fucking clue at what he is saying half of the time :)

    Well, that's your problem right there :p

    It's a Donegal (Inishowen to be more precise) wedding, we've our own accent up here :)
  • Fab4 27 Jul 2010 13:07:25 5,692 posts
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    LockeTribal wrote:
    Fab4 wrote:
    LockeTribal wrote:
    This is an absolute train wreck of a best man's speech. Mate of mine was at the wedding and said it was absolutely excruciating watching it happen :)

    I'm from Northern Ireland and I havent a fucking clue at what he is saying half of the time :)

    Well, that's your problem right there :p

    It's a Donegal (Inishowen to be more precise) wedding, we've our own accent up here :)

    Funny, I know people from Donegal who don't sound like that. I thought it was more North/Mid Antrim sounding.
  • human1_open 9 May 2011 06:41:19 1 posts
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    Thanks for all the useful advice. I'm working on a speech for my brother's wedding this summer. I am definitely freaked out about the whole thing, hopefully I don't make a fool out of myself. For anybody else looking for ideas, check out youtube I've found some good material there. Here's one of my favorite, little dark but hilarious...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1lhlMFRB50

    there's a bunch of good speeches. good luck and hopefully I don't flop!
  • Salaman 9 May 2011 09:45:15 18,244 posts
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    I'm going to be the best man at a wedding next month.
    Small wedding with a mixed crowd. The couple is Slovakian. The guests, about 18 are English, Slovak, Dutch, German and myself (Belgian).
    Wedding tradition in Belgium and Slovakia doesn't include a best man's speech. The groom or the father of the groom usually gets up right at the start of the night and mumbles "thanks for coming, enjoy your food and have a good time tonight."

    The couple's parents are there and they don't speak English, so I reckon I'll keep it nice and short. Praise them both for being lovely people, 1 amusing anecdote and wish them all the best.

    I need to start writing these things down soon.
  • Arrr9 22 Oct 2012 13:28:44 398 posts
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    I don't know if reading through this thread has given me confidence or shattered it, probably the latter. This is the first time I've had to give a best man's speech and seeing as the wedding is this Saturday, any glittering gems of advice would be much appreciated.
  • boo 22 Oct 2012 13:36:13 11,604 posts
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    Just remember.

    Stand up.
    Speak up.
    Shut up.

    People want to hear it clearly, and they don't want to listen to you rambling on for ages about a load of in-jokes that most of the audience won't get.
    Keep it snappy, and don't do what my best man did, and accuse my entire family of in-laws of being 'like the mafia'.

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  • Arrr9 22 Oct 2012 13:44:41 398 posts
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    That's my kind of mantra for the speech at the moment, those three S's. The only other sage words of advice from a couple of friends and family members have been to keep it short and don't try and be funny, though the last part seems rather damning.
  • mrpon 22 Oct 2012 13:47:17 27,645 posts
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    Print it out, don't try and memorise it.

    Heh, exactly what I wrote three years ago!

    Edited by mrpon at 13:48:36 22-10-2012

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • Salaman 22 Oct 2012 13:53:19 18,244 posts
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    Oh you can be funny. Just don't do what a lot of people seem to do and make in-jokes that only you and the groom or you and a handful of other people will get.

    When I did mine last year I sort of went:
    - reason's why I think the bride and groom are lovely
    - express joy at them two having found each other as they're great together
    - short anecdote at the expense of the groom
    - wish them all the best and happiness in future
    - toast them together with the other guests

    Something like that I think.
    I did attend a wedding where one of the girls of the "hen night team" got hold of the mic in order to say a few words sometime between main course, dessert buffet and some of the silly games that were played.
    She just went on for 5 minutes or so about "that one time where the bride had *inflict voice dramatically* done something vague" or how the bride was known to *inflict voice dramatically* do something or other completely innocent sounding to everyone. Complete with raised eyebrows and conspiratory looks at other girls for support/confirmation.
    Nobody had any clue what she was on about really.

    Apart from that. Don't be crass or rude. Don't out something you wouldn't want outed if it was your wedding.

    You'll be fine.
  • Salaman 22 Oct 2012 13:54:43 18,244 posts
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    mrpon wrote:
    Print it out, don't try and memorise it.

    Heh, exactly what I wrote three years ago!
    I disagree.
    Keep it short, practise it out loud 3/4 times and you don't need a print out. Someone reading from a paper is horrible to listen to. Someone just naturally speaking is much better.

    edit: of course if it's a lenghty speech that comes to 4 pages printed out, you're better off printing it than trying to recite it and getting stuck half way through.
    You're probably better off shortening it though.

    Edited by Salaman at 13:56:27 22-10-2012
  • mrpon 22 Oct 2012 13:59:26 27,645 posts
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    Think I failed at the keep in short bit, hence me wanting to print it out! Know what you mean though, just there as a backup and I wasn't reading it out monotone like!

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • Arrr9 22 Oct 2012 14:03:41 398 posts
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    I don't plan on making it a very long speech and though I'd love to just have it printed out sitting in front of me, my gf seems to think that's very bad form and I guess it wouldn't sound as natural - Bah !

    I'll definitely be going down the (mostly) complimentary route rather than 10 minutes of "in" jokes taking the piss out of my mate, it's not really my style to do the latter.

    Cheers for the replies, they've actually helped me feel a little less terrified of the whole thing.

    Actually screw it, I will print it out if only to stop my fear of just grinding to a halt halfway through. I guess if you know it reasonably well, it's just there as a safety net.

    Edited by Arrr9 at 14:05:12 22-10-2012
  • Deckard1 22 Oct 2012 14:04:15 25,414 posts
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    Remember its very much socially acceptable to use the word "cunt" as a term of endearment now.

    Called it

  • RabidChild 22 Oct 2012 14:05:00 2,283 posts
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    I had to do a best man speech last month and was completely bricking it - my hatred of public speaking is pretty much at proper phobia level. I took the easy way out and did a powerpoint with a load of embarrassing photos of the groom - that way I didn't have to try to hard to be funny. Strung it together with a bit of a narrative (including some white lies to make it work) and it went ok.

    Four glasses of wine before doing it helped, too.

    Something everyone told me before I had to do it was to remember that everyone is there to have a fun time and people will be on your side from the off, so as long as you don't try and channel Roy Chubby Brown you'll be fine. Not that that made me feel any better at the time, but it is true.

    I felt bad for a guy at work who had to do one around the same time - he was on after the father of the bride, who is a stand-up comic.

    Edited by RabidChild at 14:06:41 22-10-2012
  • Salaman 22 Oct 2012 14:06:25 18,244 posts
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    Not sure if it's been mentioned on the previous 4 pages* but it's always a lot more hilarious if you do the speech with your knob out.









    *would depend on whether or not the OP is from back when Peej was still posting or not I guess.

    Edited by Salaman at 14:06:48 22-10-2012
  • Arrr9 22 Oct 2012 14:08:11 398 posts
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    @RabidChild That's a pretty cruel turn of events to have to follow up !

    Also, I'll try and keep the word "cunt" to a minimum, I always feel it loses a little impact if overused.
  • Salaman 22 Oct 2012 14:30:04 18,244 posts
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    Keep it until the end. "Now I'd like for you to all raze your glass to me and toast to this cunt and his bride!"
  • Deleted user 22 October 2012 14:36:33
    I had to do one for my cousin who married an Italian girl. They married in Turin and 75% of the audience were Italian. That was pretty terrifying.

    Advise I would give would be have it written down in full but only refer to it if you need to. Practice a lot and you will remember it - doesnt matter if it comes out slightly different to whats on the page.

    Be yourself as well - by which I mean dont try to be a stand up comedian if thats not your day to day personality. Having said that some humour is essential but that can be a funny story about the groom rather than some generic gag off the internet.

    For what it worth I found the joke - sentimental - joke - sentimental routine worked quite well.

    Have a couple of drinks and remember everyone is on your side. Its not like an office presentation where everyone is silent. I guarantee you will get feedback and that will give you more confidence.

    Once you have finished its a really great feeling....
  • TVoJ 22 Oct 2012 15:00:50 1,376 posts
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    Don't take it all the seriously mate, I did a speech for my butty about a year ago and wrote it in the car on the way to the wedding. I'd had the story I wanted to use swirling round in my head for a few weeks but structured it all on route.

    Don't get me wrong, I was shitting a brick think about making a fool of myself but forget not that the fathers go before you, and if they're shit you've got fuckk all to worry about.

    Edited by TVoJ at 15:06:13 22-10-2012
  • Arrr9 22 Oct 2012 18:53:25 398 posts
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    Well the first draft of the speech is all done which is making me feel better about it already, I'm kind of surprised looking around the 'net that a speech of between 3-5 mins is the norm. I could swear that I've sat through some 10 min plus speeches.

    Hopefully come Saturday I'll have earned my reward in booze and cake and not have the aforementioned hurled at me.

    Thanks again for your tales of speeches gone by, having mostly written it has calmed my nerves ( only to start bricking myself anew on Saturday ).
  • Salaman 22 Oct 2012 18:56:25 18,244 posts
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    I wouldn't worry about it. You have the hard and easy to put off doing bit behind you now. You just need to run through it in your head a few times, practise it out loud 2 or 3 times and you'll hardly have any nerves. Being prepared does wonders for giving a speech.
  • Arrr9 29 Oct 2012 13:03:15 398 posts
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    Well I'm relieved to say my speech on Saturday went down well. It was before the meal as well so it meant that I wasn't just sitting there nervously pushing food around my plate with no appetite and could actually enjoy it. Just glad it's out the way now and didn't mess it up, it's nice to hear from folk saying how good it was afterwards.

    Cheers EG and a big thanks for the recommendation of doing it with my knob out, it really did lighten the mood.
  • Tuffty 29 Oct 2012 13:34:33 1,392 posts
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    Nice one mate! Like you, I did my speech before the dinner and it was so much better for it because I didn't have to worry. Glad to hear it went well. :D
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