All Couriers Must Die

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  • Messiac 13 Jul 2006 11:04:05 3,465 posts
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    Is it just me or are courier services the stupidest people in the world. Every time I order something that has to be delivered by courier something fucks up.

    Good old Royal Mail and Parcel Force are ultra reliant but couriers - ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

    I ordered a brand new PC last week which was due to be dispatched today and delivered tomorrow. I got a phone call this morning to say that there had been a mistake and that the PC had shipped to the wrong address???????? How they didnt fecking debit the wrong credit card.

    How hard can it be - my address is submitted with my order.

    Now I have to wait for the manager to phone me back to see how "we" can resolve the situation. What did I do? Oh yeh sorry I forgot I ordered a PC, silly me.

    Should have swam across the channel myself for it, would of been quicker. If that bloke from Little Britain can do it, so can I.

    Fingers crossed they send me another one straight away - if they dont I think I may combust with anger.

    Edited by Messiac at 11:03:41 13-07-2006
  • ssuellid 13 Jul 2006 11:06:35 19,141 posts
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    So its the company that shipped it who fucked it up - not the courier?
  • Messiac 13 Jul 2006 11:07:55 3,465 posts
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    No it was picked up from the company by the courier who couldnt read basic english printed on the delivery note.

    I mean - how do these people get employed?
  • Spanky 13 Jul 2006 11:10:04 14,448 posts
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    Messiac wrote:
    "Good old Royal Mail and Parcel Force are ultra reliant but couriers"
    Plant! Dirty Tricks Campaign by Consignia! :D

    Royal Mail and Parcel Force are as shite as the rest.

    Plubs

  • Huntcjna 13 Jul 2006 11:12:04 13,870 posts
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    Im happy with my courier they just delivered this today! \o/

    'I pity the fool' :p
  • Messiac 13 Jul 2006 11:12:27 3,465 posts
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    Well they seem more reliable for me, I dont think they have ever not delivered within reasonable time, and as an added bonus to the right address.
  • reality_cheque 13 Jul 2006 11:20:14 7,487 posts
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    Spanky wrote:
    Royal Mail and Parcel Force are as shite as the rest.
    Indeed, the amount of times I've had to deal with shit just as a result of Royal Mail losing important (and registered) letters makes me fucking angry!
  • President_Weasel 13 Jul 2006 11:20:48 8,604 posts
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    Messiac wrote:
    No it was picked up from the company by the courier who couldnt read basic english printed on the delivery note.

    I mean - how do these people get employed?

    what, you think there's a huge waiting list for a small number of courier jobs, and they're turning away people without at least a master's degree? "Oh, I qualified as a brain surgeon but it wasn't challenging or rewarding enough so I went into couriering, and the pay's so much better too."
    It's a crappy low wage job carrying stuff about! That's how they get employed!
  • Messiac 13 Jul 2006 11:25:05 3,465 posts
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    President Weasel wrote:
    Messiac wrote:
    No it was picked up from the company by the courier who couldnt read basic english printed on the delivery note.

    I mean - how do these people get employed?

    what, you think there's a huge waiting list for a small number of courier jobs, and they're turning away people without at least a master's degree? "Oh, I qualified as a brain surgeon but it wasn't challenging or rewarding enough so I went into couriering, and the pay's so much better too."
    It's a crappy low wage job carrying stuff about! That's how they get employed!

    I dont think you need a Masters in any subject to read a bloody address slip. An 8 year old could do it and if he/she was tall enough and could drive would be able to deliver it as well.

    I think for any job you should be expected to be able to read and perform simply basic activities like pick something up, put it in a van, read the address, drive to location, open van, get parcel, give to mr messiac, be satisfied with job well done.

    Maybe im expecting too much.

  • ilmaestro 13 Jul 2006 11:27:20 32,299 posts
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    Messiac wrote:
    Is it just me or are courier services the stupidest people in the world. Every time I order something that has to be delivered by courier something fucks up.

    Good old Royal Mail and Parcel Force are ultra reliant but couriers - ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
    Oh, how I lol! Seriously, I receive on average one package a week through a variety of couriers and once it gets in the hands of either of these two companies I pray for its safety. Royal Mail haven't actually screwed me over for a while, but I don't have anything important delivered by them any more, but Parcelforce suck from the coooooock.

    They take about two days longer than any other courier to deliver anything with a customs charge as they hold the goods and send you a freaking letter which you must have to be able to pay the charges (even though you know from online tracking that you have to pay them, and they know exactly how much it is), so you have to wait a day for the letter and then another day for the delivery. Your only option is to go to the depot, but that's not exactly what you payed for is it? Otherwise something that should have been with you Monday you get on Wednesday.

    I've also had far more packages slightly damaged through PF than FedEx or UPS. And they also charge you about 13.50 handling fee compared to about 4.50 from the other companies, all for the benefit of shittier, slower service! Go Parcelforce!

    4235

  • Tomo 13 Jul 2006 11:33:01 13,839 posts
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    Couriers are fucking awful... unless they are working for big companies. Take for instance delivering Exam papers that need marking. They actually go out of their way to phone and leave written messages in post boxes to deliver these. Ok, so they're being paid more I expect, but does it really mean they need to dumb down their intelligence to become so incapable that they can't even read or write down an address correctly.

    Jesus! It angers me just thinking about them. Just one of those things in life I suppose... along with cheques taking 5 days to clear, traffic wardens and TV licenses.
  • Dexter 13 Jul 2006 11:35:03 1,060 posts
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    I think couriers should start offering a cheaper delivery service where you can nominate a depot for your package to be delivered to and then go and pick it up yourself.

    Whenever I get something delivered I end up collecting it myself anyway since they always try and deliver while I'm at work.
  • Messiac 13 Jul 2006 11:35:55 3,465 posts
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    You are all right - Royal Mail and ParcelForce suck too - bitches every one of them
  • ilmaestro 13 Jul 2006 11:38:35 32,299 posts
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    Heh, sorry - it's a bit of a sore point with me. In theory I'm in the 'if you've had no problems with them...' camp, but I've had problems with them!

    4235

  • Messiac 13 Jul 2006 11:39:13 3,465 posts
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    Dexter wrote:
    I think couriers should start offering a cheaper delivery service where you can nominate a depot for your package to be delivered to and then go and pick it up yourself.

    Whenever I get something delivered I end up collecting it myself anyway since they always try and deliver while I'm at work.

    Thats actually a great idea, I would gladly go to my local depot and pick stuff up than go through this crap everytime. In fact it would be less hassle to cut them out altogether and drive to the company themselves in some cases.

  • IMO 13 Jul 2006 11:40:44 5,214 posts
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    Dexter wrote:
    I think couriers should start offering a cheaper delivery service where you can nominate a depot for your package to be delivered to and then go and pick it up yourself.

    Parcelforce already do that, but that's just because they can't be arsed to find your house!!. Twice I've used them, twice they've screwed up.

    /is bitter

  • Tomo 13 Jul 2006 11:43:37 13,839 posts
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    Personally, I've found Parcelforce the best of the cheapos. DHL and City Link are truly, truly terrible. The very best are UPS and FedEx.

    The most mind boggling thing tho is the fact that they only deliver 9-5 weekdays (Saturdays if you complain enough). I mean fucking hell!! Most people are at fucking work then, so how the fuck am I supposed to sign for the parcel?! It's the most retarded piece of thinking in the country, probably.

    /explodes
  • Messiac 13 Jul 2006 11:51:47 3,465 posts
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    Just got a call back from the courier and I will have to wait another week for delivery as the original package has to be collected, checked and sent again.

    They company cant even return my card until the courier delivers the package back to them.

    For fuck sake - this makes me so angry - bunch of useless twats.

    bastarding bastarding bastards

    Edited by Messiac at 11:52:29 13-07-2006
  • ilmaestro 13 Jul 2006 11:52:35 32,299 posts
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    Tomo wrote:
    Personally, I've found Parcelforce the best of the cheapos. DHL and City Link are truly, truly terrible. The very best are UPS and FedEx.

    The most mind boggling thing tho is the fact that they only deliver 9-5 weekdays (Saturdays if you complain enough). I mean fucking hell!! Most people are at fucking work then, so how the fuck am I supposed to sign for the parcel?! It's the most retarded piece of thinking in the country, probably.

    /explodes
    Er, have it delivered to your place of work? :p

    4235

  • Messiac 13 Jul 2006 11:54:34 3,465 posts
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    Some rehab companies dont offer that service - apparently they have to deliver to your billing address.

    Cock - someone needs to address the whole delivery system in the UK, the current method clearly is completely inadequate.

  • DaM 13 Jul 2006 12:02:44 12,608 posts
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    I run a company and we have used the lot - DHL, Fedex, UPS, for bringing stuff in from China, and ParcelForce for UK stuff.

    I have to say the international ones are much of a muchness- just inconsistant, we try not to rely on them too much!

    ParcelForce are not too bad...bloody cheap if nothing else - I can get 30kg, next day in the UK for 9.
  • Kronos 13 Jul 2006 12:25:31 547 posts
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    example of mentality of your average citylink blokey..

    Arrive at house...does he

    a) Go round to the front of the house and knock on the door and wait for answer from me who is sitting patiently waiting in the front room.

    b) Attempt to break into the backyard through the deliberately and obviously barred gate..give up and drop package off at neighbours via their backdoor (obviously).

    No prizes for guessing the answer.

    Even though the terraces around here back onto the road its still doesn't take a genius to figure out this is not the front of the house surely?




  • laur 13 Jul 2006 12:27:58 1,213 posts
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    Kronos wrote:
    doesn't take a genius to figure out this is not the front of the house surely?
    Ah, but you're talking about a parcel delivery man.
  • Stickman 13 Jul 2006 12:33:57 29,407 posts
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    What bugs me the most about Royal Mail at the moment, is that my postie loads up his van for the day, then early morning (ie, when everyone's getting up/having breakfast, etc.) delivers his letters, leaving all other stuff in his van. Then he tries to deliver packages that need to be signed for some time around 11 o'clock.

    NO-ONE'S IN ANYMORE DICKHEAD!!

    THIS SPACE FOR RENT

  • Tomo 13 Jul 2006 12:56:26 13,839 posts
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    Exactly, you have to get plenty of things posted to your billing address. Or what if you're at uni like myself? Sure... I'll get it posted to The Blackett Laboratory. I'm sure they'll love that.
  • TwistidChimp 13 Jul 2006 13:00:03 8,825 posts
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    Yeah the courier service we use once lost a piece of software worth over a grand that we were posting out to someone. Then when it finally got back to us, it had magically transformed into some DJ's record case complete with who knows how many records in it. We had it for about 2 weeks before they bothered to come pick it up. I cant imagine it was that hard to track down the person it belonged to. You know, its that guy who's probably ringing you hourly asking where the fuck his record collection is.
  • mal 13 Jul 2006 13:03:49 21,958 posts
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    Dexter wrote:
    I think couriers should start offering a cheaper delivery service where you can nominate a depot for your package to be delivered to and then go and pick it up yourself.
    I tried to get the joke of a company that my bank uses for a courier to deliver to the bank, instead of fucking up yet another attempt to deliver to my house, and then losing it. At least there'll be somone at the bank to pick it up.

    They couldn't find the bank. Arsewipes.

    On the other hand, I've had no problem with Royal Mail apart from the odd dinted box. Oh, and one Play order going walkies. Really depends which sorting office you've got though.

    Cubby didn't know how to turn off sigs!

  • jellyhead 13 Jul 2006 14:00:35 24,350 posts
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    Or they could realise that they are offering a service of conveience to people and realise that their job should entail them working outside office hours?
    7am - 7pm deliveries anyone?
    Just a thought like.

    Edited by jellyhead at 14:00:28 13-07-2006

    This signature intentionally left blank.

  • mal 13 Jul 2006 14:12:30 21,958 posts
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    teamster_jr wrote:
    I heard about a scheme where one of the big breweries was going to arrange that their local pubs would accept deliveries for people - which makes sense, in that there are many pubs close to where people live, and there's always someone (in body at least) there.

    or maybe i was thinking it would be a good idea.

    My local shops set up a scheme whereby you could get stuff from online delivered there, so you didn't have to send your address out to dodgy online shops - this was back when online shops weren't the household names they are now.

    It never took off. People just get stuff delivered to work instead.

    Cubby didn't know how to turn off sigs!

  • Dougs 13 Jul 2006 14:13:55 64,903 posts
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    Kronos wrote:
    example of mentality of your average citylink blokey..

    Arrive at house...does he

    a) Go round to the front of the house and knock on the door and wait for answer from me who is sitting patiently waiting in the front room.

    b) Attempt to break into the backyard through the deliberately and obviously barred gate..give up and drop package off at neighbours via their backdoor (obviously).

    No prizes for guessing the answer.

    Even though the terraces around here back onto the road its still doesn't take a genius to figure out this is not the front of the house surely?

    Or just not turn up at all, despite me taking a day off work to wait for the fucker. And when I ring up, claim that they did turn up. Really. Fucking. Useless.




    Edited by Dougs at 14:15:09 13-07-2006
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