The lonely thread Page 130

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  • Deleted user 25 November 2010 10:54:52
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  • heyyo 25 Mar 2011 23:10:01 14,369 posts
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    The girl I like is downstairs talking to her man. We get along like a house on fire (no pun) during the week - it's basically only me and her here in the days and I knew her before I moved in, for a long time - but every weekend usually without fail her boyfriend comes round at 8pm Friday.

    Especially poignant as The Killers - Mr. Brightside has just come on and the lyrics just literally spoke to me..

    Now they're going to bed
    And my stomach is sick
    And it's all in my head
    But she's touching his chest
    Now, he takes off her dress
    Now, letting me go

    And I just can't look its killing me
    And taking control

    If he doesn't come round then we do 'coupley' weekend stuff together, meals, clubs, cinema. Not this weekend, not for ages.

    Wish he'd just turn gay.
  • heyyo 25 Mar 2011 23:10:17 14,369 posts
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    I literally will not see her until he goes on Sunday morning, she won't come out of her room/bed. It's awkard when we talk on Sunday evening because she knows I know what she's been doing all weekend - and I guess because i've known her on and off the past 4 years she knows how I feel but it's always unspoken.

    I bought it up once when we were both off our faces on weed and she basically started getting upset because she felt we were going to be lifelong best friends (she's the same age and i've 'adopted' her as my sister because i'm an only child) ...and that if we 'did' anything things would never be the same, and 'when' we broke up (she's had few relationships) we wouldn't be in contact anymore. She is my best friend so I don't want anything to ruin that.
  • Psychotext 25 Mar 2011 23:13:16 55,032 posts
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    /hugs

    Seriously though, staying friends with her when you feel like that? That way lays HEAVY depression. There was another poster in this thread who tried something very similar and it fucked him up big time.
  • heyyo 25 Mar 2011 23:20:57 14,369 posts
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    LionheartDJH wrote:
    heyyo! wrote:
    ah, the lonely thread? I'll move along :)

    Doesn't sound like a great situation there heyyo!, I take it you live with her? How long has she had this bf?

    /feel free to take this to 'the lonely thread' ;)

    Metalfish wrote:
    Well, it turns out that your life is pretty much as complicated as everyone elses'. Perhaps you should put down that glass and do something productive, eh?

    But if it's helping to post here, I ain't objectin'. I don't know if you're as sick of other people's advice as I am, but you know what the right thing to do is here. Anyway, do try to perk up, eh chap?

    Ahh, social support :)

    @LDJH I lived with her 4 years ago, got to know her then, but past 2 years I haven't been living with her ... moved in with her again start of this month. She goes through a load of boyfriends like 3 a year and i've never paid any attention to any of them for obvious reasons... She doesn't ever talk about them or what happens because she considers it private, but i'm the only one she doesn't talk about them to...

    @MF Yeah, it doesn't take a degree in psychology to know what to do but sometimes it feels as if it does. Like I said I haven't been living with her for past 2 years (keeping very much in touch though being best friends), only moved in again 3 weeks ago and it's beginning to sink in how much I have feelings for her

    /pours more JD

  • Metalfish 25 Mar 2011 23:25:00 8,874 posts
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    Heck, I'll drink to that. Here's hoping the hangover offers new insight.
  • Deleted user 25 March 2011 23:25:34
    You only live once heyyo...
  • mrpon 25 Mar 2011 23:27:17 29,563 posts
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    Does the boyfriend know about these "coupley" weekends you have?

    Give yourself £5 or ½ gig, you're worth it.

  • Deleted user 25 March 2011 23:28:48
    ...what that means is, you tell her how you feel.

    This either means you get together or have to live apart. Either way, it's not healthy living with someone you're in love with, yet can never have. But, maybe you can have her.

    Ignore me, I'm rumed.

    Edit: You ever wonder why she has 3 boyfriends a year and nobody seems right for her, yet she gets on with you like a house on fire. Either you're both thick or she's waiting for you to make the first move. ps: if you tell her how you feel, don't be surprised if she dismisses it at first, knee-jerk reaction. After she's thought about it, she'll realise the perfect partner was staring her in the face all this time. Now fuck off, have a nice life and be happy.
  • heyyo 25 Mar 2011 23:31:58 14,369 posts
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    Psychotext wrote:
    /hugs

    Seriously though, staying friends with her when you feel like that? That way lays HEAVY depression. There was another poster in this thread who tried something very similar and it fucked him up big time.

    We're best friends, I can't really go anywhere (literally! i'm living here on a 6m contract). Curse me, she's very attractive and I wish she wasn't so because then a) there wouldn't be so many boyfriends b) our friendship would be platonic.

    She uses her looks too much I feel as well, she had 3 guys on the go ... in the same place of work, then one found out and she had to leave - makes me think what a slut! And she thinks that if we did anything remotely like that she'd 'play' me and our friendship would go byebye which she never wants (and I don't either.... sigh, I don't know)

    I'm moving out soon anyway so hopefully things can go back to how they where past 2 years, its just being here and having bf rubbed in my face is annoying.
  • LionheartDJH 25 Mar 2011 23:32:11 19,541 posts
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    Doesn't sound like a great situation there mate :(

    /also hugs

    I have had a sort of similar situation over the past few years. I also have a female best friend who is practically my perfect girl, and I have had feelings for her in the past, especially when we were still in sixth form. She had a bf for most of it though, and I had a very short relationship with one of my other female friends which ended in a messy break up. Anyway we were really close at school despite her having a bf, and after the split with my ex I developed feelings for her, which I tried to subdue. She split up with this guy in the closing months of school, and I had my chance there if I was ever going to take it, but I never could bring myself to because I valued the friendship so much, and didn't want to do anything to jeopardise it (I may have done to some extent by getting back with my ex for a few months, but that's water under the bridge). Now she's with someone who she met right at the start of uni, and I'm still the same loner loser I've always been.

    My feelings have sort of drifted away over the past couple of years, and although they may resurface a little bit when I meet up with her during holidays and that, I'm at least glad I've still got that great friendship there. She's with a really nice guy and I'm happy for them both.

    So from my experience heyyo, all I can say is that she's probably right. I know this kind of situation is very difficult and that feeling of longing can really get to you, especially as I'm guessing that you live with her so see her all the time? As hard as it is to take mate you've just got to let it slide if you want to keep that friendship there. It's like betting a mortgage downpayment on one hand of poker; sure the rewards would be fantastic, but the costs could be equally devastating. My feelings for my friend now are of a platonic nature, I just care about her a lot. I hope that in time yours can be that way too, and you meet an equally as nice, if not better girl, to be your partner. If you want to say anything that you don't feel comfortable sharing with everyone you can PM me if you want.

    Edit: I see I spent so much time typing this out that I probably jumped the gun a bit. Oh well, my points still stand :p

    She dives for cheese pasties

  • Deleted user 25 March 2011 23:42:07
    She's fucking with your head. If it's any consolation, she's probably doing it to at least one other guy as well.

    There are certain types of women who just seem to thrive on doing this kind of thing.

    @heyyo, that is
  • heyyo 25 Mar 2011 23:48:04 14,369 posts
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    LionheartDJH wrote:
    Doesn't sound like a great situation there mate :(

    /also hugs

    I have had a sort of similar situation over the past few years. I also have a female best friend who is practically my perfect girl, and I have had feelings for her in the past, especially when we were still in sixth form. She had a bf for most of it though, and I had a very short relationship with one of my other female friends which ended in a messy break up. Anyway we were really close at school despite her having a bf, and after the split with my ex I developed feelings for her, which I tried to subdue. She split up with this guy in the closing months of school, and I had my chance there if I was ever going to take it, but I never could bring myself to because I valued the friendship so much, and didn't want to do anything to jeopardise it (I may have done to some extent by getting back with my ex for a few months, but that's water under the bridge). Now she's with someone who she met right at the start of uni, and [u]I'm still the same loner loser I've always been.
    [/u]
    My feelings have sort of drifted away over the past couple of years, and although they may resurface a little bit when I meet up with her during holidays and that, I'm at least glad I've still got that great friendship there. She's with a really nice guy and I'm happy for them both.

    So from my experience heyyo, all I can say is that she's probably right. I know this kind of situation is very difficult and that feeling of longing can really get to you, especially as I'm guessing that you live with her so see her all the time? As hard as it is to take mate you've just got to let it slide if you want to keep that friendship there. It's like betting a mortgage downpayment on one hand of poker; sure the rewards would be fantastic, but the costs could be equally devastating. My feelings for my friend now are of a platonic nature, I just care about her a lot. I hope that in time yours can be that way too, and you meet an equally as nice, if not better girl, to be your partner. If you want to say anything that you don't feel comfortable sharing with everyone you can PM me if you want.

    Edit: I see I spent so much time typing this out that I probably jumped the gun a bit. Oh well, my points still stand :p

    My eyes are slightly blurry because the JD is in full flow, but your situation sounds similiar yeah. And now I feel annoyed because I can't offer any support back, but I want you to know I empathise and your advice is always great.

    I felt (feel) exactly like this when i'm not living with her and her boyfriends are not coming around, i'll just get on with it and when I move out in the summer i'll never make the mistake and move in together again. The situation does seem really silly now! I'm going to be 24 next year, and studying for a msc in (health) psychology I shouldn't be letting this worry me, but to use your words "I'm still the same loner loser I've always been" and probably always will.
  • Psychotext 25 Mar 2011 23:51:21 55,032 posts
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    spudsbuckley wrote:
    She's fucking with your head. If it's any consolation, she's probably doing it to at least one other guy as well.

    There are certain types of women who just seem to thrive on doing this kind of thing.
    Does sound a bit like this, especially given her running numerous guys at once.

    "You'll always be there for me, wont you?"

    /bats eyelashes
  • heyyo 25 Mar 2011 23:57:25 14,369 posts
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    Livetext_beta_tester wrote:
    ...what that means is, you tell her how you feel.

    This either means you get together or have to live apart. Either way, it's not healthy living with someone you're in love with, yet can never have. But, maybe you can have her.

    Ignore me, I'm rumed.

    Edit: You ever wonder why she has 3 boyfriends a year and nobody seems right for her, yet she gets on with you like a house on fire. Either you're both thick or she's waiting for you to make the first move. ps: if you tell her how you feel, don't be surprised if she dismisses it at first, knee-jerk reaction. After she's thought about it, she'll realise the perfect partner was staring her in the face all this time. Now fuck off, have a nice life and be happy.

    lol, if only this were a fairytale eh? She has 3 boyfriends a year and sometimes on the go because she's a fucking slut! we always joke about it. I'm going to take LDJH advice and just wait til I move out and things will go back to being best friends. I have to say, it's been platonic* for the past 2 years, it's just i'm feeling jealous now because i've been living with her again for 3 weeks and her boyfriend is downstairs and I wish she'd spend time with me now instead.

    *she's so out of my league, I have came to just caring about her a lot and being best friends, ie. treat her like she treats me.

    @PT Yup, sure reads like that. I don't do half as much as she does for me (and i'm not just saying that) take last round of birthdays she bought me an expensive watch and I bought her dried flowers, she got me a summer job last summer. But like now she is taking the piss because all week we do stuff and then as soon as guy comes round i'm non-existant although she says she kicks them out asap on sunday (8am last weekend) because she wants to spend time with me. Oh well.

    ANYWAY, this place is fantastic. /hugs xoxo
  • Deleted user 25 March 2011 23:59:28
    Can't believe someone quoted me, thanks for confirming I'm still here and aren't on GI Heyyo. /proper man hugs.

    Alright 3 seconds is too much!
  • LionheartDJH 26 Mar 2011 00:08:36 19,541 posts
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    heyyo! wrote:

    My eyes are slightly blurry because the JD is in full flow, but your situation sounds similiar yeah. And now I feel annoyed because I can't offer any support back, but I want you to know I empathise and your advice is always great.

    I felt (feel) exactly like this when i'm not living with her and her boyfriends are not coming around, i'll just get on with it and when I move out in the summer i'll never make the mistake and move in together again. The situation does seem really silly now! I'm going to be 24 next year, and studying for a msc in (health) psychology I shouldn't be letting this worry me, but to use your words "I'm still the same loner loser I've always been" and probably always will.

    Don't worry about it mate, I've pretty much come to terms with my situation and accepted the way of things. Thanks, and it's alright, I just like to help :), this kind of thing has plagued my teenage years and still crops up every now and then to try and depress me.

    Yeah, I definitely think getting away is the best thing, it must be a nightmare having to live so close with someone who you feel like that about. It's cliché, but being away and not having as much contact with someone really can work wonders with helping you to get over those feelings. It is a bit I guess, but that's what love is like, it's irrational and you can't help feeling the way you do. Nah I'm sure you won't, you sound like a cool guy and I'm sure you'll meet someone special at some point, probably soon too, considering you do a course where females are in the majority! Less cockblockers and more chance to get the attention focused on you, it's a win-win :).

    She dives for cheese pasties

  • LionheartDJH 26 Mar 2011 00:09:55 19,541 posts
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    Livetext_beta_tester wrote:
    Can't believe someone quoted me, thanks for confirming I'm still here and aren't on GI Heyyo. /proper man hugs.

    Alright 3 seconds is too much!

    I still love you Fruit :p

    She dives for cheese pasties

  • chopsen 26 Mar 2011 00:20:58 16,290 posts
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    heh
  • localnotail 26 Mar 2011 00:33:23 23,093 posts
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    Nice to see that there are still reckless romantics in the world, but if I were you I wouldn't say anything to her about your feelings until she's grown out of these games she can't help playing at the moment. Sorry. Give it a few years for her to get it out of her system then see how it goes. Don't step in front of a trainreck holding a box of milk tray and a hopeful smile, her issues will tear you to pieces.

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • Psychotext 26 Mar 2011 00:51:42 55,032 posts
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    FHUTA you say?
  • chopsen 26 Mar 2011 00:53:32 16,290 posts
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    I've got female friends that it really does suit me that there's nothing going on there. But then I am coming from it from the position of someone in a long-standing relationship. If I was single, I would fully subscribe to the grayson school.
  • localnotail 26 Mar 2011 01:00:32 23,093 posts
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    graysonavich wrote:
    TLDR: Be a bastard, take your chance or you'll regret it.
    I dunno, IMO sometimes it's better to take the raincheck and keep the dream of what might have been rather than follow your horn and fuck up a beautiful friendship. Shags come and go, friendships are worth more in the long run. Maybe I'm just old though. And female, obviously.

    edits: and slightly too tired & emotional to type properly

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • Psychotext 26 Mar 2011 01:03:22 55,032 posts
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    I still love you LNT.
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