What do you reckon is the minimum number of whole foods you could live on? Page 5

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  • Deleted user 17 February 2012 18:07:55
    The thing about food and cooking and whatnot is a somewhat incredulity of where it all came from.

    I can vaguely understand the thing about 'the raw meat fell into the fire, caveman steve found it tasted better'. But stuff like cheese - say that milk's gone off, think I'll put it in a sandwich. And bread! How did bread come about by accident? Seems an awful lot of coincidences happened there. Especially given how easy it is to fuck it up and make it rubbish.

    "Oh, these wheat kernels, think I'll grind these into a powder, then this yeast stuff, I'll cram that in. Then add some water and I'll beat the shit out of it for a while then just leave it for a couple of hours, you know, to recover from the beating like, but then when it's least suspecting I'll roast the motherfucker

    ..

    HEY THIS TASTES GOOD"
  • Fatiguez 17 Feb 2012 18:12:35 8,714 posts
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    Yeah, bread is a fucking weird one. Stuff like milk and cheese I can sort of understand, because cow booby juice looks the same as woman booby juice, and stupid olden times people may have been more willing to eat things that 'went off' in times of hardship and before they knew what germs were, but... bread. What's the deal, yo.
  • Deleted user 17 February 2012 18:13:59
    Beer and wine is an amazing one. It's so, so, so, so, so ridiculously easy to fuck them up (literally a single microbe can make the entire batch utterly worthless, and that's in this day and age of proper sanitisation) that it absolutely staggers me that someone accidentally stumbled onto it, and managed to repeat it enough so that it caught on.
  • Fatiguez 17 Feb 2012 18:18:49 8,714 posts
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    But alcohol exists in nature when things ferment and suchlike, so it might be reasonable to think that people would have realised which specific part was giving them that good-time drunk feeling. Also, beer/wine as they are now aren't the same as the first alcoholic beverages made on purpose, which must have been thousands of years ago, right? Obviously I'm pulling all this straight out of my arse, since I have no knowledge in this area, but is it much of a stretch to consider that the first primitive or naturally occurring boozes might have been built on and refined through the ages?

    Edited by Fatiguez at 18:19:25 17-02-2012
  • Deleted user 17 February 2012 18:21:04
    Still bastard weird, when most natural fermented alcohols taste godawful.
  • Fatiguez 17 Feb 2012 18:25:21 8,714 posts
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    Considering that beer tastes awful to a lot of people until they become accustomed to it, I doubt that would have put the cavemen off much. I'd imagine they were more interested in the effects than the taste
  • Deleted user 17 February 2012 18:27:58
    Eh, true.

    Cheese is still weird though.

    'how can we improve this gone off milk?'
    'throw the lining of a cow's stomach in there'
    'then what?'
    'stab holes in it and shove mold through it'
  • Deleted user 17 February 2012 18:29:21
    meme wrote:
    Still bastard weird, when most natural fermented alcohols taste godawful.
    It seems that fermented (over-ripe) fruit leads to drunk animals.

    Therefore there is the possibility that humans learned about the nature of rotty sugary yeasty things and tried to make it happen more. I don't believe that it tasting horrible would have put proto-humans off. Modern humans eat microwaveable hamburgers, after all.
  • Fatiguez 17 Feb 2012 18:31:31 8,714 posts
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    Old-timey people used animal stomachs for storing all sorts of liquids, and mold has a habit of getting where you don't want it. That one doesn't seem as great a stretch as bread, in my eyes
  • Fatiguez 17 Feb 2012 18:32:02 8,714 posts
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    This discussion is making me look like some sort of bread complexity fanboy. Not that I'm denying that
  • Deleted user 17 February 2012 18:34:10
    It's not so much the accidental discovery that's the problem, I can appreciate that, it's the replication of the discovery and spread of it that's the confusing part. That (especially with things like bread) there's more that can go wrong than goes right.

    Seriously, try brewing your own beer and see what happens when you fuck it up. It's not just that it's nasty tasting, it's that it's basically inedible. Even at their-wits end students wouldn't consume that to get drunk, and they'd probably chug window cleaner.
  • Deleted user 17 February 2012 18:36:49
    Once people starting regularly grinding cereals to make the whole process less bloody chewy, I can see how bread would eventually occur.

    Perhaps it was done to please some toothless old bastards (at the ripe old age of 24), and the whole thing just got out of hand when some paste was left on a hot rock.
  • Deleted user 17 February 2012 18:39:17
    meme wrote:
    It's not so much the accidental discovery that's the problem, I can appreciate that, it's the replication of the discovery and spread of it that's the confusing part. That (especially with things like bread) there's more that can go wrong than goes right.
    You're talking about a population who may have regularly hunted mammoths by goading them off a cliff. It seems quite likely humanity has a general in-built resistance to being too concerned about failure (no matter how likely), which is the root of why fantasy and science fiction universes make us sound like fucking heroes.

    We're not. We just don't think ahead properly when we're being all optimistic about the "human spirit". Remember the Nazis and respect the freaks with blue heads, they've been travelling in space since we invented pizza. For fuck's sake.
  • Fatiguez 17 Feb 2012 18:41:00 8,714 posts
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    Again, beer-brewing back then would have used entirely different processes to what we have now. I doubt that whatever they were doing involved much microbe controlling, at least not consciously. On the other hand, I don't think you're giving the cavemen as much credit as they deserve, when it comes to ingenuity. We might understand things better now, but, y'know. Shoulders of giants and all that.

    This is all just postulating, anyway. I like bread and cheese, I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth
  • Deleted user 17 February 2012 18:44:50
    Fatiguez wrote:
    I doubt that whatever they were doing involved much microbe controlling, at least not consciously.
    THIS IS MOST LIKELY TRUE.
  • Deleted user 17 February 2012 18:44:50
    Fatiguez wrote:
    Again, beer-brewing back then would have used entirely different processes to what we have now. I doubt that whatever they were doing involved much microbe controlling, at least not consciously. On the other hand, I don't think you're giving the cavemen as much credit as they deserve, when it comes to ingenuity. We might understand things better now, but, y'know. Shoulders of giants and all that.

    This is all just postulating, anyway. I like bread and cheese, I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth
    Oh, I know that it -did- happen (hence why we have the stuff now), it's just utterly amazing that it did.

    Still doesn't explain stuff like lutefisk or that other rotting shark one though.

    "that dead shark isn't tasty enough yet, let it rot some more first".

    And blowfish! what the hell! I forgot about blowfish, who the fuck thought 'it's killed so many people already, but if I keep going I might find something tasty'?
  • Deleted user 17 February 2012 18:46:19
    meme wrote:
    "that dead shark isn't tasty enough yet, let it rot some more first".

    And blowfish! what the hell! I forgot about blowfish, who the fuck thought 'it's killed so many people already, but if I keep going I might find something tasty'?
    1) You have to preserve food somehow. We smoke and salt stuff. That's a bit odd.

    2) Male-controlled traditions often develop stereotypical displays of machismo along the way. "It's killed so many people already, but I'm a hard bastard."
  • Rusty_M 18 Feb 2012 11:43:30 4,648 posts
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    Drinking milk is probably the weirdest thing we do. AFAIK, no other animal will drink milk as an adult, let alone the milk of another animal.

    Also, I reckon one could survive on eggs for an awfully long time, although you may get somewhat constipated if you try.

    Edit: as an aside, I've heard that the particular poison in the blowfish does not really harm you. It does however prevent you from using voluntary muscle movements. The suppression of breathing is what causes death. If someone ingests it, all you need to do is keep air flowing in, and out of their lungs until the poison wears off.

    Edited by Rusty_M at 11:45:50 18-02-2012

    The world is going mad. Me? I'm doing fine.

  • Fatiguez 18 Feb 2012 11:46:53 8,714 posts
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    Rusty_M wrote:
    Also, I reckon one could survive on eggs for an awfully long time, although you may get somewhat constipated if you try.
    You have died of scurvy.
  • localnotail 18 Feb 2012 12:51:40 23,093 posts
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    Rusty_M wrote:
    Drinking milk is probably the weirdest thing we do. AFAIK, no other animal will drink milk as an adult, let alone the milk of another animal.


    Why is drinking milk weirder than eating eggs or meat? It's sustainable, good source of protein, fat, vitamins, water etc. And it's yummy. Also: cheese. CHEESE!

    Edited by localnotail at 12:58:46 18-02-2012

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • Deleted user 18 February 2012 16:24:04
    2/3rds of cats are lactose intolerant.
  • Dirtbox 18 Feb 2012 16:30:32 77,686 posts
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    What happens to cows that are lactose intolerant? Has to happen.

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  • Deleted user 18 February 2012 16:33:40
    They explode in a shower of gore.
  • Dirtbox 18 Feb 2012 16:35:07 77,686 posts
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    /youtubes

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  • Dirtbox 18 Feb 2012 16:36:31 77,686 posts
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    Sort of cowish. Lives on a farm anyway.

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  • Dirtbox 18 Feb 2012 16:38:11 77,686 posts
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    Oh now I'm stuck in a world full of horses farting.

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  • Chopsen 18 Feb 2012 16:40:55 15,848 posts
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    What I don't understand is how people who are lactose intolerant and therefore can't drink cows milk, can apparently drink goats milk no problem despite the fact it still has as much lactose in it. DOES NOT COMPUTE!
  • Dirtbox 18 Feb 2012 16:41:42 77,686 posts
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    They can't. If they can, they're lying.

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  • MetalDog 18 Feb 2012 16:49:24 23,697 posts
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    Or there's something else in cows milk that disagrees with them?

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

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