Becoming a father. Page 4

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  • Vortex808 14 Feb 2012 12:49:27 6,975 posts
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    Blakester wrote:
    The first day home with baby is very intense. At the hospital you have a button by the bed and if you're not sure what to do, you press it and the nurse comes and helps (feeding, nappy changing, baby screaming etc, etc).

    When you get home there's no button so suddenly you have to deal with it.
    :D

    Oh god yes. we got home, put the by now happily sleeping baby on floor while still in it's car seat, just looked at each other in a "What do we do now?" manner.

    I bet *everyone* else does the same!

    Edited by Vortex808 at 12:50:08 14-02-2012
  • Maturin 14 Feb 2012 12:53:28 2,892 posts
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    Babies are tough and they are also very good at letting you know there's a problem. If they are upset there's a clear list of things you can go through and you'll probably hit what's bugging them. Are they hungry? Are they dirty? Are they cold? Are they hot? That sort of thing.

    Also looking after new born babies is quite simple. Not easy. But simple - in that they have a set of regular needs. Once you get into a groove - and I had to with twins on my own - you settle into a regular schedule. Babies seem much happier in a schedule. So fed every so often, changed each time, bath at the same time each day, out for a walk at the same time. They relax into it.

    It's hugely tiring and hugely stressful, but it's the amount of work involved, the work itself is pretty simple repetition once you've worked it out. Sure I went barking mad trying to raise twins on my own but that lack of sleep (and other more serious factors) will do that to you.

    But it is amazing how you can feed and change a baby on autopilot and be back in bed pretty quickly. And while for the first few weeks any feeding items exist within something like a microchip fab white room, give it a couple of months and you'll be rinsing bottles out using the tap in the middle of the night and being more pragmatic.

    The trick is not to get bogged down in what other people, books and TV shows tell you is the right thing. After a while you get to know your baby and know what's right. And you are there to look after them, so if it's their time for sleep, then be sure to say "no" to anyone who pops round and wants a cuddle. Baby comes first not grandparents.
  • Tonka 14 Feb 2012 13:20:19 20,025 posts
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    Maturin wrote:
    Also looking after new born babies is quite simple. Not easy. But simple
    Well said.

    If you can read this you really need to fiddle with your forum settings.

  • pinebear 14 Feb 2012 13:21:44 8,565 posts
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    I'd have to object to local joining Dad's Club, it's not really in the spirit of the group.

    Far preferable that Mr local joins EG specifically for the purpose, proceeding to share any and all threads deemed interesting, and typing up wifely counsel as and when required ;)

  • Blaketown 14 Feb 2012 13:26:55 4,636 posts
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    morriss wrote:
    Just as an aside, the learning curve goes off the chart when they hit about 2-2. It then takes another spike at around 5.
    Indeed.

    All of a sudden mine (3 in June) has started testing boundaries left right and centre. Spends half his day on the naughty step. Still getting out of bed and complaining at 10 at night.

    Saturday he had his first proper freak out, uncontrollable kicking and screaming and throwing things around. It only ended, 30 minutes or so later, when he fell asleep where he was sat on the sofa.

    And so the terrible 2's began.

    Brap, brap, old chap.

  • OmniaVincitAmor 14 Feb 2012 13:29:32 1,515 posts
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    Don't worry about not feeling mature enough I was the same and you change in an instant. It becomes all about them and its amazing. Greatest thing ever. Just get sleep at every opportunity you can. Good luck.

    Defeat is not getting knocked down, but refusing to get back up.

  • nickthegun 14 Feb 2012 13:34:52 58,889 posts
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    pinebear wrote:
    I'd have to object to local joining Dad's Club, it's not really in the spirit of the group.
    As far as I can see, its a parent support group so its entirely within the spirit of the group.

    So I have pinged her an invite :p

    its only a dads group by virtue of this forum being a sausagefest.

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • Maturin 14 Feb 2012 13:43:31 2,892 posts
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    Can I trouble you for an invite too Nick?
  • Mageme 14 Feb 2012 13:47:42 1,995 posts
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    See, I was nice and calm about the little babu coming in 12 weeks time until I started reading this thread! Now I've got butterflies in my stomach.

    3DS: 5086-1465-9252

  • localnotail 14 Feb 2012 13:48:40 23,093 posts
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    Thank you Nick. I promise not to offer well-meaning advice unless asked for. In that group, anyway.

    Maturin, it's an open / public group I think, so you can just apply and someone will approve you. Nick was just being ultrapolite.

    pinebear wrote:
    Far preferable that Mr local joins EG specifically for the purpose, proceeding to share any and all threads deemed interesting, and typing up wifely counsel as and when required ;)
    :lol: He's a lurker, he just reads the games section, doesn't do sharing with strangers. And weirdly, having been dead set against it when we met, he is now really looking forward to being a Dad. He has some strange idea that it'll all be fine because I am always looking after everyone and I am just being daft to worry. He's a good counterbalance.

    Edited by localnotail at 13:51:44 14-02-2012

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • pinebear 14 Feb 2012 14:02:18 8,565 posts
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    Good, glad you got the joke :)

  • AceGrace 14 Feb 2012 14:05:06 1,038 posts
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    One thing that has puzzled me is why people bath their kids every night.

    My 4 year old has a bath twice a week and is fine. My 6 month old has a bath once a week and is fine, after all, you are always cleaning your baby with wipes at each nappy change.

    Is it a conspiracy by Johnson and Johnson?
  • thedaveeyres 14 Feb 2012 14:08:30 10,698 posts
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    We bathed our kids every night as it really helped with the whole bedtime routine. We've gotten lazy in the last 6 months though and only do it every other night... doesn't seem to have made a huge difference.

    D****** ******r

    XBLA: Hamster Trippin
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  • localnotail 14 Feb 2012 14:09:02 23,093 posts
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    I think it's a nice calming pre-bed ritual for some babies. Reminds them of being inside maybe. The people I know who do it don't actually use anything but water, it's just a short soak in the tub then out.

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • Blaketown 14 Feb 2012 14:14:22 4,636 posts
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    We only do it because he insists. Bathtime is his favourite time of the day. Trust me, most nights we wish he would forget about it.

    Brap, brap, old chap.

  • Nasty 14 Feb 2012 14:16:31 4,741 posts
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    It's more of a sheep dip in our house.
  • Rhythm 14 Feb 2012 14:18:13 2,471 posts
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    Ours only get 2 baths a week. Otherwise it's bed at 7:30 every night (7 on a school night). They sleep well enough, we have to wake them up on a weekend as they'll usually go past 9am
  • mrpon 14 Feb 2012 14:18:21 28,488 posts
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    AceGrace wrote:
    My 6 month old has a bath once a week and is fine, after all, you are always cleaning your baby with wipes at each nappy change.
    Dear God the wife would have a fit if she read that! What about washing their hair? Matted to fuck after one day of food throwing! Although maybe not at 6 months!

    /rings social ;)

    Edited by mrpon at 14:22:39 14-02-2012

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • Maturin 14 Feb 2012 14:23:23 2,892 posts
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    When I was on my own I bathed the babies a couple of times a week. But never on the same night. They both hated having a bath and I tended to look like a Vietnam vet if I tried to do both in the same evening.

    Thankfully our little one has always loved having a bath and his older brother and sister do to. They all have a bath every night now. Definitely helps them calm down ready for sleep. Hair wash once a week though.

    Edited by Maturin at 14:23:48 14-02-2012
  • AceGrace 14 Feb 2012 14:27:33 1,038 posts
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    mrpon wrote:
    AceGrace wrote:
    My 6 month old has a bath once a week and is fine, after all, you are always cleaning your baby with wipes at each nappy change.
    Dear God the wife would have a fit if she read that! What about washing their hair? Matted to fuck after one day of food throwing! Although maybe not at 6 months!

    /rings social ;)
    My son doesn't have any hair yet. :-)
  • Dougs 14 Feb 2012 14:41:07 66,723 posts
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    Yep, nightly bath time here too, unless we're out at family or back late from a weekend away. Def a routine thing for us. He asks himself now for teeth time and bath time.
  • mrpon 14 Feb 2012 14:49:38 28,488 posts
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    AceGrace wrote:
    My son doesn't have any hair yet. :-)
    Haha! I take it all back then!! :redface:

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • sport 14 Feb 2012 14:53:52 12,583 posts
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    mrpon wrote:
    AceGrace wrote:
    My son doesn't have any hair yet. :-)
    Haha! I take it all back then!! :redface:
    That's no excuse, I don't have hair but I still bath every night!
  • mrpon 14 Feb 2012 14:56:01 28,488 posts
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    You have matted chest hair though sport!

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • sport 14 Feb 2012 15:01:56 12,583 posts
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    mrpon wrote:
    You have matted chest hair though sport!
    Sport - 1, Silly baby - 0

    YES!!!
  • kalel 14 Feb 2012 15:03:15 86,417 posts
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    Bathing every day is actually supposed to be quite bad for their skin, but we do it anyway. As said, very helpful for bedtime routine.
  • Salaman 14 Feb 2012 15:21:43 18,879 posts
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    I was about to say "isn't too much bathing supposed to be bad in some way". Then again if they're happy and not showing massive patches of itchy dry skin, go with it.

    My daughter (2) is over every other weekend and she loves having a shower together on Sunday morning. Get up, have breakfast, have a shower. It's a proper little ritual.
  • IMadeThis 14 Feb 2012 16:25:14 1,036 posts
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    I must add myself to this conversation, and I'll be joining the Dads Group too thank you. My little boy's just gone 4 months and I've always been very distanced from babies/toddlers/being a father. But seriously, Best. Thing. Ever.

    And reading some of these comments has almost brought a tear to my eye, imagining what my little man's going to be doing to make me smile in the future :)
  • morriss 14 Feb 2012 16:39:53 70,911 posts
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    Blaketown wrote:
    morriss wrote:
    Just as an aside, the learning curve goes off the chart when they hit about 2-2. It then takes another spike at around 5.
    Indeed.

    All of a sudden mine (3 in June) has started testing boundaries left right and centre. Spends half his day on the naughty step. Still getting out of bed and complaining at 10 at night.

    Saturday he had his first proper freak out, uncontrollable kicking and screaming and throwing things around. It only ended, 30 minutes or so later, when he fell asleep where he was sat on the sofa.

    And so the terrible 2's began.
    \o/

    I put my 5 y.o. on the naughty step and he spat at me. That was a tough one. I mean, what can you do?
  • Nasty 14 Feb 2012 16:57:34 4,741 posts
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    Spit back. It's the last thing they'll expect.
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