The pun thread Page 2

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  • Fozzie_bear 4 Oct 2011 19:40:02 15,314 posts
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    I've invented a solvent for removing paint splashes from stereo equipment. I call it despothifi.

    Support the Mowgli Dirty Protest!

  • neilka 4 Oct 2011 22:02:28 14,942 posts
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    I've invented a wireless communications technology that's better than a man called Edward. I call it Yfitopsed.
  • Deleted user 4 October 2011 22:04:09
    HairyArse wrote:
    Woman walks into a police station balling her eyes out. "I've been graped!" she cries.
    "Graped?" Says the police officer. Surely you man "Raped?"
    "No" She says. "There was a bunch of 'em."

    That would be gang rape not grape.
  • craigy Senior UI Designer, Gamer Network 5 Oct 2011 14:06:32 7,386 posts
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    I got a new pair of shoes the other day, but they were eaten by a monkey.

    That's the last time I ever buy banana loafers.
  • boo 5 Oct 2011 14:16:54 11,604 posts
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    /tumbleweed

    Just Another Lego Blog

  • craigy Senior UI Designer, Gamer Network 5 Oct 2011 14:24:02 7,386 posts
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    At the weekend I invited my mates to the park for a picnic.

    They were gutted when they realised they had to share a chocolate bar amongst all twenty of them.
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 5 Oct 2011 14:25:53 36,280 posts
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    That's silly. There's no way you have as many as 20 friends.

    I totally called it.
    Follow me on Twitter: @MrTom
    Voted by the community "Best mod" 2011, 2012 and 2013.

  • Genji 5 Oct 2011 14:27:36 19,691 posts
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    It works better for me if there's a pun-worthy news article to riff off.
  • craigy Senior UI Designer, Gamer Network 5 Oct 2011 14:37:55 7,386 posts
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    I'm off to see a Meat Loaf tribute act made up of over-60's retirees this weekend. I hear Malt Loaf are really good.
  • Genji 5 Oct 2011 14:39:56 19,691 posts
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    Meat Loaf performed here last weekend. He was shit. ;_;
  • craigy Senior UI Designer, Gamer Network 6 Oct 2011 11:48:27 7,386 posts
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    Some friends of mine, Stanley and Daniel, are starting an Adam & The Ants themed postal service.

    I expect great things from Stand & Deliver.
  • mouse Moderator 6 Oct 2011 11:55:57 10,312 posts
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    Some friends of mine, Stanley and Daniel, are starting an Adam & The Ants themed restaurant specialising in liver dishes.

    I expect great things from Stand & Deliver.
  • LockeTribal 6 Oct 2011 12:34:52 4,443 posts
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    Some friends of mine, Stanley and Daniel, are starting an Adam & The Ants themed experimental upright surgery clinic, specialising in liver transplants.

    I expect great things from Stand & Deliver.
  • MightyMouse 6 Oct 2011 13:06:55 1,091 posts
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    Some friends of mine, Stanley and Daniel, are starting an Adam & The Ants themed experimental upright obstetrics clinic.

    I expect great things from Stand & Deliver.
  • senso-ji 10 Oct 2011 15:18:55 5,314 posts
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    A man entered ten original puns in the National Pun Writing Contest. He hoped that one of his puns would take the big prize, but alas, no pun in ten did.
  • mrpon 10 Oct 2011 15:40:22 27,645 posts
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    I've been watching a lot of these shitty tattoo programmes on Sky at the moment. All I can say is, there's a lot of backstabbing in this industry.

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • kinky_mong 10 Oct 2011 16:56:14 9,607 posts
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    DDevil wrote:
    I saw a magic tractor once. I was driving behind it and it turned into a field.

    I saw a deformed, dyslexic tractor once. I was driving behind it and it turned into a flid.

    I'll never get my Orc looking the same again.

  • neilka 10 Oct 2011 17:14:53 14,942 posts
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    Some friends of mine, Stanley and Daniel, are starting an Adam & The Ants themed courier service which refuses to employ anyone who uses a wheelchair.

    I expect great things from Stand & Deliver.
  • CaptainBinky 10 Oct 2011 17:23:14 2,244 posts
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    Some friends of mine, Stanley and eight of his mates, are starting an Adam Ant themed chicken take-away service.

    I expect great things from Apollo 9
  • President_Weasel 10 Oct 2011 17:35:25 8,604 posts
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    Some friends of Craigy are planning some performance art where they play a flute and an heir to the throne comes out of a laundry basket. I expect great things from Prince Charming.
  • CaptainBinky 10 Oct 2011 17:43:52 2,244 posts
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    A friend of mine is planning to write a new Adam and the Ants themed operating system which will use a famous artist travelling to outer space in Spanish for some reason where there's a planet where all the inhabitants are from a popular EA game where you can make them eat and poo and have jobs and stuff -- as the logo.

    I expect great things from Picasso Visita El Planeta De Los Simi OS
  • craigy Senior UI Designer, Gamer Network 12 Oct 2011 15:05:45 7,386 posts
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    I was on my weekly skydive the other day and had a close call. I was floating above the local curry shop when my parachute failed. The backup chute worked, thankfully, though I was in tears during the whole experience.

    You could say I was over korma with emotion.
  • Kosmoz 29 Oct 2011 12:39:14 7,509 posts
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    Belle and Sebastian's Stevie Jackson is releasing a solo album, titled "I can't get no (Stevie Jackson)". I thought it was quite good.

    Every girl I ever kissed I was thinking of a pro footballer.

  • OllyJ 2 Nov 2011 10:44:56 3,197 posts
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    can't we have a subject rather than randomness?

    maybe?
  • neilka 2 Nov 2011 10:58:12 14,942 posts
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    I don't get it.
  • Jeepers 2 Nov 2011 11:07:53 13,168 posts
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    The subject is now "Vaginas".
  • w00t 2 Nov 2011 11:09:44 10,976 posts
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    I've given up on fencing.

    I just can't see the point anymore.

    The day charity died - NEVER FORGET

    (the mic was OK in the end)

  • Murbal 2 Nov 2011 11:10:14 21,547 posts
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    @Jeepers - screw it, I'm in.
  • Tonka 2 Nov 2011 11:20:27 19,840 posts
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    I had an idea for an "Improve Spice Girls" campaign, I call it _ Desportyfy

    If you can read this you really need to fiddle with your forum settings.

  • Tonka 2 Nov 2011 11:22:20 19,840 posts
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    Some friends of mine, Stanley and Daniel, are starting an Adam & The Ants themed FEar Factor competitor.

    I expect great things from Stand in the Liver.



    I'm not very good at this

    If you can read this you really need to fiddle with your forum settings.

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