Filthy smelling work colleague Page 2

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  • speedofthepuma 3 Jun 2011 14:40:39 13,268 posts
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    JuanKerr wrote:
    Do you work in a homeless shelter?

    I believe he is a staffer at EG towers.

    I've turned off all the avatars and crap, so don't expect me to be impressed by yours.

  • Gambit1977 3 Jun 2011 14:41:06 9,583 posts
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    There was the foulest smelling bloke I've ever been near, in the queue for the expo last year! It burned my throat! Ugh! Dirty anorak and greasy, well, everything, too!
  • Gambit1977 3 Jun 2011 14:41:58 9,583 posts
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    kalel wrote:
    Everyone I sit with smells of designer fragrances and general awesomness, but I have to hold my breath when I walk past new media. And don't get me started on the IT room.
    The IT Room probably smells of the bag of nappies in the corner due to the WoW marathons ;)
  • S.J.Rogers 3 Jun 2011 14:42:10 3,557 posts
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    bigshot316 wrote:
    Wow, I have the exact same issue with 2 people in my office!

    One is a 48 year old man who rides his bike to and from work every day (8 miles).
    He doesn't bring a change of clothes or deodrant and he doesn't brush his teeth (he has cream cheese teeth).

    The worst thing about him is the coat he wears every single day. It has spores growing on the outside, and I cannot even describe the stagnant stench that pours out of it into the atmosphere- it's like.... It's a whole new smell!

    I was in the toilet the other day having a piss, and the smell had filtered from the cloakroom to the toilets and I was wretching and then puked my guts up in the bowl.

    Then there's this new guy who is fat with long hair and a mongey face.
    He just smells like my mates old first bedsit- a mixture of super stale sweat, unwashed hair, BO and cum.

    Fuck that..!

    Do you want a job here..?
  • Gambit1977 3 Jun 2011 14:44:35 9,583 posts
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    Cream cheese teeth is the worst thought ever :( I feel sick!!!
  • bigshot316 3 Jun 2011 14:44:45 23,434 posts
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    Seriously, we went to a 'Retro gaming weekend' a couple of years back and the fucking smells that dissipated from that thing made the expo smell of lemons and sugarplums.
  • Lukey__b 3 Jun 2011 14:46:01 3,725 posts
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    Gambit1977 wrote:
    Cream cheese teeth is the worst thought ever :( I feel sick!!!

    I was eating when I read that. Let's just say I'm full now.

    'Sup, what's guanine?

  • Gambit1977 3 Jun 2011 14:46:52 9,583 posts
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    Lukey__b wrote:
    Gambit1977 wrote:
    Cream cheese teeth is the worst thought ever :( I feel sick!!!
    I was eating when I read that. Let's just say I'm full now.
    Was it cream cheese sarnies?
    I've never known a description to have such and effect on my guts!
  • gallow 3 Jun 2011 14:47:00 480 posts
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    My IT office stinks but then 22 blokes in a windowless office with broken aircon will do that. Our current office temperature is 29.7c.
  • billythekid 3 Jun 2011 14:47:24 11,034 posts
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    There's a fat bloke who I have the misfortune to encounter in my local Tesco who absolutely fucking reeks. The staff actually have cans of air freshener to combat him, I need only be within 10ft and I'm literally gagging and almost throwing up.
  • Gambit1977 3 Jun 2011 14:48:51 9,583 posts
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    billythekid wrote:
    There's a fat bloke who I have the misfortune to encounter in my local Tesco who absolutely fucking reeks. The staff actually have cans of air freshener to combat him, I need only be within 10ft and I'm literally gagging and almost throwing up.
    That's the guy from the expo!!!
  • Blakester 3 Jun 2011 14:49:49 3,580 posts
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    I've had to have that chat with team members a few times over the years.

    It's awful because you're not criticizing their work or behaviour, far worse you're criticizing their hygiene.

    In each case though they were absolutely mortified because they honestly hadn't realised !?!

    Mainly they were thankful that you dealt with it in private rather than making it a public issue.

    My advice, get their line manager to deal with it in person.

    When you can't see the angles on the wall you're in trouble.

  • rudedudejude 3 Jun 2011 14:51:40 2,161 posts
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    How about...

    http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/06/05/another-unexpected-consequence-of-global-warming/

    http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/11/15/sounds-like-somebodys-got-a-case-of-the-mondays/

    or something along those lines? :)
  • sport 3 Jun 2011 14:52:52 12,584 posts
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    Gambit1977 wrote:
    billythekid wrote:
    There's a fat bloke who I have the misfortune to encounter in my local Tesco who absolutely fucking reeks. The staff actually have cans of air freshener to combat him, I need only be within 10ft and I'm literally gagging and almost throwing up.

    That's the guy from the expo!!!

    HEY, fuck you man!
  • Gambit1977 3 Jun 2011 14:54:27 9,583 posts
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    sport wrote:
    Gambit1977 wrote:
    billythekid wrote:
    There's a fat bloke who I have the misfortune to encounter in my local Tesco who absolutely fucking reeks. The staff actually have cans of air freshener to combat him, I need only be within 10ft and I'm literally gagging and almost throwing up.
    That's the guy from the expo!!!
    HEY, fuck you man!
    \o/
    Look, I didn't wanna make it public, but can't you buy a new coat, wash your hair, get rid of the NHS specs AND, wash???
  • MrE26 3 Jun 2011 14:54:59 1,922 posts
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    One of our morning cleaners at work smells like he's been dead for 10 years. He's absolutely horrid, & looks like a zombie version of Ricky Tomlinson. You can tell if he's been nearby in the past 15 minutes, as he leaves this horrid, lung burning haze everywhere he goes.

    I'd have a word with the smelly cunt, but i'm not setting foot anywhere near him without a hazmat suit on.
  • Gambit1977 3 Jun 2011 14:57:13 9,583 posts
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    Does he smell like a Gypos ballbag?
  • Sponz 3 Jun 2011 14:59:23 646 posts
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    I've had to deal with a few of these in my time. HR is always the first point of call as it is a personal personnel issue. The trouble is, as much as you think that it might be a shitty thing to do, to report someone for being a stinky fucker, it is the best course of action.

    I also left 2 cans of Lynx on a blokes desk once. He got the message.
  • JuanKerr 3 Jun 2011 15:02:26 36,205 posts
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    Do stinky people just get used to their own stench or something? If I stink, I can always tell without someone having to tell me.
  • L_Franko Moderator 3 Jun 2011 15:04:19 9,694 posts
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    Smells like someone eat a dead badger then shat themselves in here.
  • Deleted user 3 June 2011 15:04:24
    MrE26 wrote:

    One of our morning cleaners at work smells like he's been dead for 10 years. He's absolutely horrid, & looks like a zombie version of Ricky Tomlinson. You can tell if he's been nearby in the past 15 minutes, as he leaves this horrid, lung burning haze everywhere he goes.

    I'd have a word with the smelly cunt, but i'm not setting foot anywhere near him without a hazmat suit on.
    Glol.
  • Sponz 3 Jun 2011 15:05:48 646 posts
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    I think they must get used to it. People complain that I stink of fags, but I smoke and I must just be used to it. However, if i've been doing any kind of physical activity, or even just being hot and sweaty I always know when its shower time.
  • Lukey__b 3 Jun 2011 15:05:56 3,725 posts
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    If I smelt I'd want my manager to tell me. I probably wouldn't pick up on any subtle hints and it would be embarrasing if one of my immediate colleagues told me. If your manager tells you, it's far more professional and you can just view it as constructive criticism rather than a personal attack.

    There are some people who do need a kick up the ass though. It's one thing smelling a little because you cycle/run into work but an entirely different problem if you think you only need to shower once a week.

    Edit: Is it smelt or smelled? I don't like the sound of either word.

    'Sup, what's guanine?

  • jonsaan 3 Jun 2011 15:13:12 25,326 posts
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    Take it to HR. They will have to deal with it.

    FCUTA!

  • Faceman 3 Jun 2011 15:13:54 741 posts
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    Lukey__b wrote:
    Is it smelt or smelled? I don't like the sound of either word.

    I believe it can be either.

    It's like dreamt and dreamed.
  • jonsaan 3 Jun 2011 15:14:02 25,326 posts
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    Alternatively ask him to harvest his rim cheese and make extremely rare and expensive cheese that you can sell online to someone in Japan.

    FCUTA!

  • bigshot316 3 Jun 2011 15:14:46 23,434 posts
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    I'm fat but I bathe daily and wear a bit of fucking deo and aftershave and I smell sexy.

    There's no excuse!
  • jonsaan 3 Jun 2011 15:16:33 25,326 posts
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    Dio?

    FCUTA!

  • BinaryBob101 3 Jun 2011 15:16:33 22,353 posts
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    bigshot316 wrote:
    He just smells like my mates old first bedsit- a mixture of super stale sweat, unwashed hair, BO and cum.

    Megastar! AICM5P.

    Beautiful tender beings.

  • Deleted user 3 June 2011 15:19:00
    jonsaan wrote:

    Alternatively ask him to harvest his rim cheese and make extremely rare and expensive cheese that you can sell online to someone in Japan.
    /horp
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