The venting thread Page 3

  • Page

    of 44 First / Last

  • Salaman 28 Mar 2012 08:48:44 22,249 posts
    Seen 1 day ago
    Registered 13 years ago
    Fingers crossed for Olivia! Sounds like good progress. 2 more days and your ladies are back home. Get to it rock star!
  • JBlokeUK 21 Apr 2012 04:30:44 2,307 posts
    Seen 4 years ago
    Registered 7 years ago
    First of all I hope I'm posting this issue in the right thread?

    Basically my 7 week old son just refuses to settle with me. My wife will hold him and settle him within minutes, especially if she's walking around with him, but the minute he's handed over to me he starts crying, wiggling, kicking and all sorts. The frustrating thing also is that he doesn't do this with anyone else, as in friends and other family.

    It's frustrating but sometimes upsetting as I want to be able to let the missus rest between feeding him etc but it's starting to feel like he doesn't want to spend any time with me.

    Any advice would be a great help.
  • DaM 21 Apr 2012 09:03:36 16,356 posts
    Seen 21 minutes ago
    Registered 15 years ago
    You did do all the bonding exercises with the bump? The chanting, whale sounds and candles?
    ;)

    They go in phases like this - there'll be times when he's only interested in you, not the wife. Tried taking him when he's nice and contented? After a feed?
  • MrTomFTW Best Moderator, 2016 21 Apr 2012 09:08:38 46,179 posts
    Seen 33 minutes ago
    Registered 14 years ago
    Bit of skin on skin perhaps.
  • Stickman 21 Apr 2012 09:17:44 29,652 posts
    Seen 5 months ago
    Registered 12 years ago
    Absolutely don't worry about it. Like DaM says they go in phases. At some point in the future you'll think "while it's great that you think I'm the best person ever, can I just have five minutes?"

    You can still give your wife a break, it just means it won't be that relaxing for you!
  • Stickman 21 Apr 2012 09:17:46 29,652 posts
    Seen 5 months ago
    Registered 12 years ago
    Or get rid of this one and start again, whatever.

    Edited by Stickman at 09:23:43 21-04-2012
  • MrTomFTW Best Moderator, 2016 21 Apr 2012 09:34:28 46,179 posts
    Seen 33 minutes ago
    Registered 14 years ago
    Oh and Liv is back in hospital next week for the op on her left eye. It would have been last week but when they got there they were told the hospital didn't have the correct equipment.

    Would be funny if it hasn't happened twice before.
  • ZuluHero 21 Apr 2012 09:48:24 5,434 posts
    Seen 3 hours ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    @JBlokeUK

    My daughter was exactly like this. I think just like animals can sense fear, children can sense the desperation of trying too hard, whatever the reason; wanting to help your partner, wanting to be a good father, wanting to just bond, or just wanting to not fail - and the harder you try the worse it makes you feel and the more rejected when they 'reject' you.

    Just try and layoff, smile when things go well, don't let it rile you up when they don't. Your new relaxed state will start to show and your child will come around. I won't deny that it's not tough going and it doesnt make you feel rotten inside, but just think that children's minds are wired into factory settings right now and there's no malice intended.

    Hope things work out for you :).

    Edited by ZuluHero at 09:57:27 21-04-2012
  • JBlokeUK 21 Apr 2012 11:33:10 2,307 posts
    Seen 4 years ago
    Registered 7 years ago
    Thanks lads, yeah the wife says I need to try and be more patient, which I'm struggling to be at the moment.

    He did however smile at me shortly after my post when I picked him up, which made me feel better.
  • localnotail 21 Apr 2012 15:30:23 23,083 posts
    Seen 3 years ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    Probably wind ;)

    I guess the important thing is to try not to take it personally. I know it's really hard not to, but I don't think they are capable of being personal at that age. It will just something simple like being disturbed when comfy or similar. Maybe he just doesn't like your deodorant? Maybe it's a but too early for Chinese burns? It will pass, I'm sure, and if he is anything like most of the other little boys I know, then there will come a point where he totally rejects his Mum in favour of you, so it'll all balance out.


    Good luck to Olivia next week btw Tom, hope it all goes well - how has she recovered from the first op?
  • MrTomFTW Best Moderator, 2016 21 Apr 2012 16:33:53 46,179 posts
    Seen 33 minutes ago
    Registered 14 years ago
    It didn't phase her in the slightest. She was practically climbing the walls of the hospital the next day trying to get out.

    Posted this in another thread, but this is her last Sunday:



    Nothing stops her!
  • localnotail 21 Apr 2012 17:14:39 23,083 posts
    Seen 3 years ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    Aww. She's a freak for liking wasabi peas though. 'orrible they are.
  • jonsaan 21 Apr 2012 18:36:44 26,559 posts
    Seen 21 hours ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    Whaaaat? I love Wasabi peas!
  • MrTomFTW Best Moderator, 2016 25 Apr 2012 14:12:21 46,179 posts
    Seen 33 minutes ago
    Registered 14 years ago
    Currently sat in the parents lounge at Alder Hey having a 5 minute break. Liv was up and tearing around the ward an hour after coming out of surgery yesterday. She was still a little unsteady and uncoordinated but she's like some kind of unstoppable force of nature.

    Today has been tiring so far as there's not a whole lot of chance to stop and relax. No gaming either, I'm going in to withdrawl - especially as I can see an Xbox and PS2 doing the rounds. I want to steal them and play :)
  • Dougs 25 Apr 2012 14:15:24 80,494 posts
    Seen 1 hour ago
    Registered 14 years ago
    Glad all seems OK DD. Must be an enormous relief.
  • Blerk Moderator 25 Apr 2012 14:49:09 48,227 posts
    Seen 1 day ago
    Registered 15 years ago
    Aw! Gawd bless y'all, Mr Devil and family!

    Now go and get yer last-gen on like a proper gamer. :D
  • DaM 25 Apr 2012 15:29:12 16,356 posts
    Seen 21 minutes ago
    Registered 15 years ago
    Good news :)
    When my youngest was in the childrens' hospital, I completely pwned all the under 8 sick children at Wii Sports, easy. :)

    We're thinking of having his hearing tested. It was fine at birth, but his speech is as bit behind, and he seems to ask the same question over and over again as if he isn't hearing the answer. He could just be at it....
  • Salaman 25 Apr 2012 15:35:03 22,249 posts
    Seen 1 day ago
    Registered 13 years ago
    Good news DDevil!

    DaM, how old is he? Olivia will repeat the same question 15 times. I used to just patiently answer it 15 times. I finally found a way to get her to stop though.

    * Right, you want to come to the bakery for bread?
    + Yeah!
    /start putting coat on
    + where are we going?
    * To the bakery to get bread
    /put Olivia's coat on
    + Daddy?
    * Yeah?
    + Where are we going?
    * To the bakery to get bread
    /put Olivia's shoes on
    + Where are we going daddy?
    * To the bakery to get bread
    /put my shoes on
    + Where are we going daddy?
    * Where do you think we're going sweety?
    + To the bakery to get bread
    * Yaay! Well done you!

    Can't believe it took me about 6 months to think of that. Maybe you can stop him in his tracks similarly?

    Edited by Salaman at 16:21:06 25-04-2012
  • MrTomFTW Best Moderator, 2016 25 Apr 2012 15:41:06 46,179 posts
    Seen 33 minutes ago
    Registered 14 years ago
    I'll have to remember that one Salaman.
  • DaM 25 Apr 2012 15:51:26 16,356 posts
    Seen 21 minutes ago
    Registered 15 years ago
    He's 3.5 - will try that one!
  • DaM 25 Apr 2012 15:51:37 16,356 posts
    Seen 21 minutes ago
    Registered 15 years ago
    Post deleted
  • Mageme 29 May 2012 13:29:46 2,148 posts
    Seen 2 hours ago
    Registered 10 years ago
    So a day after discharge, we had to go back into hospital because baby was running a temperature. Seeing him being blood tested many times by doctors, having antibiotic injections and cannulas inserted really was upsetting and I did have a small breakdown in the neonatal unit. We did however get the all clear and got discharged (again) a few days ago.

    I never expected fatherhood to be quite such a herculean mental effort and I'm sure there are folks having a much more difficult time than me. Admittedly, I have my doubts at times, wondering what the hell am I doing, but I'm certain it's all worth it.

    How to handle the kid's relationship with his poor excuse of a grandfather is completely another matter though...

    Get a blog, I know. But hey, a problem shared is two people miserable right? ;)

    Edited by Mageme at 13:30:35 29-05-2012
  • DaM 29 May 2012 13:36:14 16,356 posts
    Seen 21 minutes ago
    Registered 15 years ago
    I found a short video of my youngest when he was in the ICU at 2 weeks, wires and tubes coming out all over, ventilated, sedated. Hard to imagine it's the same boy that charges round the house now.

    It's not easy, but especially hard at first because you are constantly knackered.
  • localnotail 29 May 2012 14:46:25 23,083 posts
    Seen 3 years ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    DaM wrote:
    It's not easy, but especially hard at first because you are constantly knackered.
    +1000000 - never underestimate the power of sleep deprivation to paint everything black. Hang in there, it will get easier.

    Glad to hear he is out and in the clear again. Don't waste time trying to manage a relationship with family members who are too selfish to do right by you. You have more important things to spend your energy on at the moment, focus on your little family, they are the priority.


    I'm increasingly terrified about the whole thing (Just under 6 weeks / 40 days / 969 hours / etc).
    If she wants to come late, that's fine by me. Maybe a few more years? I'm not sure I'll ever be ready for this.
  • Blerk Moderator 29 May 2012 14:56:49 48,227 posts
    Seen 1 day ago
    Registered 15 years ago
    It's always very difficult to begin with, many times more so if he/she has health problems. Our first was born at 31 weeks and was in hospital for a month before we could even bring him home, and the constant worry burns you out.

    It does get very much more manageable once you find your feet, though. I won't lie, the first few weeks on your own with him/her are generally hell on Earth and you'll frequently worry that you don't have the first clue what you're doing and/or that you're getting it all wrong. You aren't. Hang in, try to get into a routine, cut out all the irrelevant distractions and try to relax when you get the odd five minutes.

    You do learn to get by on less and less sleep. I've never needed much sleep so that helped, but babies can test even the most insomniac among us. My own sleeping patterns have never really recovered, incidentally - I rarely have more than four or five hours a night now - I feel worse if I sleep longer. Leaves more time for gaming, though. :)

    Edited by Blerk at 14:57:40 29-05-2012
  • Nasty 29 May 2012 18:19:25 4,784 posts
    Seen 2 days ago
    Registered 13 years ago
    I've said this before on here but I'll say it again, the very fact you are on here and are able to express your fears and frustrations as well as seek reassurance and guidance means you are well above the bar when it comes to being a 'good parent'.

    Go with it and enjoy the good bits, they soon outweigh the screaming, snottery ,poo filled bits.
  • HoraceGoesSquiffy 29 May 2012 19:56:36 1,563 posts
    Seen 1 day ago
    Registered 13 years ago
    I came here to have a bit of a whinge about the fact that we're about to embark on sleep training with our 1 year old (who still wakes up 3 times a night on average, sometimes more) and the fact that I'm going to be a bit of a wreck for the next few days or so.

    Then I read a few of the stories from you guys. My kids don't like sleeping, but they're healthy and neither of them have never been back to hospital once since they were born.

    So I'm going to shut up, count my blessings and send my best to you all.

    Here's to the EG Dads (and Mums to be)

    /raises Ribena
  • megastar 19 Jun 2012 12:11:55 17,239 posts
    Seen 6 days ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    is it normal to become not only completely apathetic towards your job, but even when I do try - I'm terrible at it!!

    She's just over 4 weeks old and I ain't getting no sleep - I'm just punching in at 8.30 and punching out at 5.00 and I'm just too tired to do anything when I get home.

    If I'm not on the sofa, I'm either in bed or making baby bottles for little one or feeding her or singing the Home and Away theme tune to her (that seems to chill her out when she's grumpy)??

    My life is a dozy haze!
  • sport 19 Jun 2012 12:19:21 13,766 posts
    Seen 13 minutes ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    You're the only one, star ;-p
  • MrTomFTW Best Moderator, 2016 19 Jun 2012 12:24:48 46,179 posts
    Seen 33 minutes ago
    Registered 14 years ago
    Yes, in no way am I going through the same thing right now.

    Oh and last week we got Will's eyes tested. He has cataracts too. Here we go again! Plus Liv's right eye is turning in and needs correcting.
  • Page

    of 44 First / Last

Log in or register to reply

Sometimes posts may contain links to online retail stores. If you click on one and make a purchase we may receive a small commission. For more information, go here.