Lost an arm, now I have a hard time gaming.

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  • CyberClaw 17 Aug 2009 05:35:52 2,087 posts
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    First of, you are probably wondering how I manage to loose an arm (and the right one at that). Basicly, I crashed my bike in the highway. You can skip to the end if you don't want to know the details.
    The accident was filmed by mere chance. Brutal. No obvious explanations, although bikers have theories that range from all kinds of rider error or bad road conditions.
    With no aparent explanation, my bike's back wheel slides/drifts and sends me rolling down the highway. My right arm is caught in the metal guards, cutting half by the rist, which becomes "stuck" with help of the leather bracelets, and my arm is ripped off above the elbow. That was the last time I saw my arm. Lucky me, my travel buddies included 1 doctor and 2 farmacists. When they looked at my body in the road they believed I was dead. My modular helmet had the face torn off, my eyes were open blankly staring the sky, the jacket exposed my belly. I wasn't breathing. Suddenly I gasp for air. The helmet strap was choking me. They put me in emergency position and took my helmet off. I barfed and started screaming in pain, swearing and saying it hurt a lot, while they tied my bleeding arm with a piece of cloth. They had the highway closed, and literally opened random cars' trunks looking for ice for my arm. It was no good, my arm couldn't be reattached anyway. Weeks later I'm told 3 of my main plexial nerves were torn off, leaving me with only 1 stretched and injured nerve.
    1 hour later, I'm arriving at the hospital, still conscious trying to fight both the pain and the will to sleep.
    They put me in a coma, and a 2 hour operation becomes a 16 hour operation. Things looked so dire at one point, my dad started speaking of me in past terms. My blood wasn't coagulating, I had 25 double units of blood transfused into me. Not a single drop of my blood remains inside me. I made it against medical expectations.
    I remained heavily drugged in intensive care for 1 week and an half. My brain bled internally, they didn't know what it would affect. They didn't know if I'd recognize anyone. I don't remember the accident, nor any event afterwards. All I'm telling, I've been told.
    During the 1 week and an half I hallucinated. I was being chased. They tied my remaining arm, tried to restrain me, but I'd at times summon so much strength, they needed 6 male nurses to stop me from ripping my central catheter and jumping off the bed. At one time I tried to take my own life, bitting my tongue off. They were hallucinations way worse than any dream I ever had...
    Eventually I regained conscience. Other than the accident memories, my brain was fine. I was completely restrained. I felt something missing. No one dared tell me about my arm. No one knew how I'd react. I suspected my right arm had some sort of mutilation. Maybe just fingers if I was lucky. Eventually I found out I wasn't, when a nurse told me. I reacted cool. No use in crying for the loss of a limb. It won't grow back. Maybe the medication helped, I dunno. The nurse asked me if I already knew, my reaction was not the expected one.
    It'd be another week and an half I'd get out of bed the first time. My muscles atrophied. In fact I was in bed for so long I had open sores due to pressure in my coxis and the back of my head. My hair was cut further.
    I needed to learn to walk again. Each day able to give one more step than the day before without loosing balance or fainting.
    It was a total of 5 weeks before I could leave the hospital. During those 5 weeks of boredom I missed my bike. I still do when I see a bike in the road. In the future, I hope I'm able to ride again.

    The video, it isn't gore, just plain brutal seeing me ragdolling down the asphalt. Notice that my buddy that was filming, nearly got caught both by my body and my bike. Lucky me no one else got hurt. I can deal with loosing an arm. I dunno if I could deal with hurting a friend.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Y9Bv4vWVZc

    I also leave you with pictures of me in the hospital.
    http://photos2.hi5.com/0097/159/533/Tw6Bnj159533-02.jpg
    http://photos3.hi5.com/0097/737/030/K.lFED737030-02.jpg
    http://photos1.hi5.com/0099/778/872/OqtMgo778872-02.jpg
    http://photos1.hi5.com/0099/144/956/.HpBSs144956-02.jpg
    http://photos1.hi5.com/0096/340/580/EwMlDL340580-02.jpg
    http://photos1.hi5.com/0096/534/896/vI2l3f534896-02.jpg
    http://photos4.hi5.com/0098/550/323/fyD9SP550323-02.jpg

    I stand here typing with my left hand, a couple of months later because gaming has become a lot harder. Developers seldom let us assign keys nowadays, and even if I can play simpler games like Trials HD, Viva Pinata, etc. games that don't require full 2 hand coordination (basically shooters and FPS are almost impossible now, fighters as well - which is basically 75% of my game collection) it'd be a lot easier if I could for example assign gas and brake in trials hd to the left bumper and trigger.
    But I'm stubborn. I stand here, sharing my story not because I'm looking for consolation among my gamer fellows, but because I'm wondering if any of you knows of devices that'll help me play all kinds of games again.
    First device I bought was a steering wheel which works great for 99% racing games. Burnout Paradise though, needs my right hand to press boost, and the keys are nonassignable.

    Anyway, do you have any ideas to help me game on?

    EDIT:
    pinebear (among others) told me about the access controller, basicly a one hand full PS3 (with a XBox 360 adapter available). Salaman sugested I gave my paypal account so you could chip in for the controller or some jaffa cakes. Well I couldn't pass up the offer, so to those interested, my paypal email is cyberclawx@hotmail.com
  • Vice.Destroyer 17 Aug 2009 05:46:22 5,899 posts
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    First of, glad you're alive. Second of all, sorry I can't really help you. I have never given it much thought and I am sure you know more about what games are suitable for you now, than I could do, trying to research. But I am sure that the rest of the EG hivemind will come up with stuff that will be helpful to you.

    /prays to god that no Eurogamer will take this opportunity to take a cheap shot.
  • THFourteen 17 Aug 2009 05:48:48 34,274 posts
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    OH MY GOD how horrible. So sorry to hear this mate, and I can't believe how down to earth you are about it.

    As you've probably found out you can learn to use your mouse with your left hand - I do it at work to reduce the likelyhood of RSI.

    This means that you are open to all kinds of PC games - turn based stuff like Civilisation 4, stuff that you can pause in combat like Neverwinter Nights or Football Manager, The Sims 3, you could probably even play World of Warcraft although obviously your reaction times would be reduced.

    Aren't their trackball devices available where more "buttons" surround the trackball than a normal mouse? I am sure i've seen such a thing.

    Anyway I would say PC gaming is your friend now.

    edit: on reflection cant seem to find any left handed trackballs, but plenty multi-buttoned mice which look good for either hand eg this one. Apologies if i'm telling you stuff you already know. but 9 programmable buttons should be great for what you need.
  • Rodney 17 Aug 2009 05:50:06 1,918 posts
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    sorry to hear about your accident. PC RTS games would probably work well. perhaps some arcadey flying games which only use a joystick. is all I can think of at the moment

  • pinebear 17 Aug 2009 06:13:56 8,565 posts
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    Wierd, I was just on your profile earlier on, wondering if you were still about and if you were ok. Not seen you on here in ages, that type of thing.

    This wasn't what I'd hoped for but I'm glad you still exist. Just watched the vid and as a one-time biker myself it's a horror of an accident just seeing it unfold. Very glad the road was clear etc and your mates were there to help out.

    Can you get foot pedals for the gaming wheel if your rehabilitation allows you to use them? Another option might be the smaller, specialised one-handed keyboards typically made for FPS games. I saw one the other day - kind of like this or this? Though the one I saw was perhaps not as button filled.


    Or, if you can stand it, some sort of supermouse: WoW mouse with 15 programmable buttons. Something like that to float your boat?

  • funkyd 17 Aug 2009 06:23:19 7,522 posts
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    Damn, that's really bad. Sorry to hear that. One thing I would say, is that the music in that video is a bit innapropriate!

    You could buy a Wii, I'm sure there's plenty of games that you can play just using the wii-mote.
  • Skoptsie 17 Aug 2009 06:23:52 419 posts
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    Not much use if you're after PS3 or 360 gaming, but there's a one-handed controller for the PS2/PS1 called the Ascii Grip V2 which you should be able to track down online.

    They're a bit rare now so can be expensive.
  • pinebear 17 Aug 2009 06:32:12 8,565 posts
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    disc wrote:
    Oh my hell that's brutal. Another reason to stay away from bikes I say.

    I seem to remember a one handed controller for the 360. By Ben Heck but I'm not sure if he or someone else is selling that.

    Good call disc! It turns out that Ben Heck also does the one-handed Access Controller, which is already in production.

    Edited to add: Hori Controller from One Switch's collection.

  • MetalDog 17 Aug 2009 06:59:25 23,880 posts
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    Sorry to hear about the accident. Sounds brutal. Welcome back, though!

    You've probably already discovered that quite a lot of controller games can be played to at least half-arsed level with help of the chin, or the feet if your toes are agile. You might also enlist the help of a friend handy with a soldering iron and try a few custom jobs if you have some spare controllers you don't mind being cut up.

    Are you going to get a prosthetic at any point? That might help with the gaming later on. It would also make your user name full on awesome.

    -- boobs do nothing for me, I want moustaches and chest hair.

  • CyberClaw 17 Aug 2009 07:00:40 2,087 posts
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    disc wrote:
    I seem to remember a one handed controller for the 360. By Ben Heck but I'm not sure if he or someone else is selling that.
    Exactly the kind of thing I was looking for, but it's for the wrong hand (doh lol) =)
    He does make a simillar product which looks more suitable for left hands, and it should cost me little over 200 dollars, 360 adapter included, so I'll probably wait a while before I buy it, but that's definitely my next expensive purchase.

    funkyd wrote:
    Damn, that's really bad. Sorry to hear that. One thing I would say, is that the music in that video is a bit innapropriate!

    You could buy a Wii, I'm sure there's plenty of games that you can play just using the wii-mote.
    Believe it or not, the music was chosen by Youtube's audioswap. It was the first in the recommended list, how could I not use it. Keep in mind I'm the first to accept and make light fun of my disability.

    I already have a Wii, and I tapped the analogue stick to the wii-mote so I can play reasonably well most games.

    pinebear wrote:
    Good call disc! It turns out that Ben Heck also does the one-handed Access Controller, which is already in production.
    Yea, that one looks like a definite buy.
  • CyberClaw 17 Aug 2009 07:03:43 2,087 posts
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    MetalDog wrote:
    Sorry to hear about the accident. Sounds brutal. Welcome back, though!

    You've probably already discovered that quite a lot of controller games can be played to at least half-arsed level with help of the chin, or the feet if your toes are agile. You might also enlist the help of a friend handy with a soldering iron and try a few custom jobs if you have some spare controllers you don't mind being cut up.

    Are you going to get a prosthetic at any point? That might help with the gaming later on. It would also make your user name full on awesome.
    Prosthetics are half arsed arms unfortunately. Their control isn't suitable to tie my boots, let alone for gaming - but you bet a badass custom metal prosthetic (I'm thinking full metal alchemist) is down the line for me, 1 or 2 years from now when I'm recovered.

    As for using chin and toes that's what I thought in the hospital, but I do better with only my left hand stretched over the controller. Dual analogues and the triggers are the hardest to use though.
  • morriss 17 Aug 2009 07:06:33 71,283 posts
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    Jesus fucking Christ!

    Glad you're ok, mate.
  • Clive_Dunn 17 Aug 2009 07:16:24 4,786 posts
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    Bionic Commando.
  • CyberClaw 17 Aug 2009 07:18:35 2,087 posts
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    Clive Dunn wrote:
    Bionic Commando.
    XD lol
  • Tonka 17 Aug 2009 07:26:28 21,192 posts
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    I wonder what it will do to you gaming
    PPPWWHWOOOOOAAARRRR!!

    Sorry about your loss. But as other said. You are lucky to be alive.
    TBS and wii Sports is the way forward I guess.

    If you can read this you really need to fiddle with your forum settings.

  • pinebear 17 Aug 2009 07:29:14 8,565 posts
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    Saitek have a range of high end multi-buttoned joysticks. What's it called? It's called CYBORG.

    Like raaaaaiiiiiiaaaaaiiiiiin

  • Gradius 17 Aug 2009 07:29:26 2,305 posts
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    Damn, that video makes me cringe, thank God you're still alive. On the subject of prosthetics, have you looked into Dean Kamen's (Segway bloke) 'Luke' arm? It's been developed for American soldiers who get injured but it's movement is pretty impressive and also looks straight out of terminator, which has to be a plus :)

    Youtube vid

    It's perhaps not quite there yet for playing games maybe, but at least there's hope for the nearish future in regards to these things.
  • Rodney 17 Aug 2009 07:31:31 1,918 posts
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    One of my old party tricks was playing Sega Rally on the saturn using my feet. I could beat people (admittedly not very good at Sega Rally people) who were using their hands.

    some old school pad games might be an option

  • Tonka 17 Aug 2009 07:35:15 21,192 posts
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    Who's the guy on the right?

    If you can read this you really need to fiddle with your forum settings.

  • pinebear 17 Aug 2009 07:40:24 8,565 posts
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    Gradius wrote:
    Damn, that video makes me cringe, thank God you're still alive. On the subject of prosthetics, have you looked into Dean Kamen's (Segway bloke) 'Luke' arm? It's been developed for American soldiers who get injured but it's movement is pretty impressive and also looks straight out of terminator, which has to be a plus :)

    Youtube vid

    It's perhaps not quite there yet for playing games maybe, but at least there's hope for the nearish future in regards to these things.

    :o

  • smoothpete 17 Aug 2009 07:43:36 31,745 posts
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    Fucking hell man... You were lucky to survive that crash. Glad that you did.
  • FWB 17 Aug 2009 07:47:35 45,245 posts
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    Shit mate. Really sorry to hear this. You seem pretty chilled about it all.

    Have no idea what to suggest for gaming, but if there isn't much about you might be onto a niche market so perhaps could design something yourself? Get it out and make some money. :)
  • cubbymoore 17 Aug 2009 07:48:19 36,503 posts
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    Dude. You, like, exploded.
  • PinkSpider 17 Aug 2009 07:49:39 3,346 posts
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    FWB wrote:
    Shit mate. Really sorry to hear this. You seem pretty chilled about it all.

    Have no idea what to suggest for gaming, but if there isn't much about you might be onto a niche market so perhaps could design something yourself? Get it out and make some money. :)
    Like this?

    Also, unlucky. As others have said atleast your alive though.
  • FWB 17 Aug 2009 07:52:44 45,245 posts
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    That's right handed, is it not? Otherwise looks like it'd do the job.
  • cubbymoore 17 Aug 2009 07:55:08 36,503 posts
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    Although most of us still have both arms, I'm betting we're all secretly hoping a one handed solution is found, but don't want to be the first to admit it.
  • Deleted user 17 August 2009 07:55:19
    0_o Blimey, that's crazy. Is this between the last time you posted and this post, I've not seen you about?
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 17 Aug 2009 08:12:12 39,404 posts
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    You can play Gears2 with me and my mates on Friday nights. Due to drink we usually play about as well as someone with one arm so you wouldn't be at a disadvantage. In fact I think you are already on my friends list.

    In all seriousness, I'm glad to hear you're alive after something like that. I think it would be one of my worst nightmares. Perhaps PC gaming would be more suitable. MMOs like WoW can be played solely by mouse. Then There are RTS games as well. Mouse driven interfaces are the way forward in this situation I think.

    Follow me on Twitter: @MrTom
    Voted by the community "Best mod" 2011, 2012 and 2013.

  • CyberClaw 17 Aug 2009 08:14:11 2,087 posts
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    squarejawhero wrote:
    0_o Blimey, that's crazy. Is this between the last time you posted and this post, I've not seen you about?
    No, I just changed jobs and didn't have as much internet spare time to post.

    The motorcycle accident was 2 months ago, I got out of the Hospital a month ago. Getting used to one hand typing is a bit tiring, so I didn't jump right back at the forums.
    I do have a lot of free time now, but phantom limb pain is nearly unbearable, so I end up spending some of that time in bed. And when I'm up, all my muscles atrophied, so even sitting upright for more than half a hour tires me.

    Slow recovery process, but I'm up for the task. The day I got released from the Hospital I went to McDonnalds and then went to the movies to watch Transformers 2. Heck I lost over 10 kilos in those 5 weeks.
  • JohnnyWashnGo 17 Aug 2009 08:22:06 1,544 posts
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    Wow - not the sort of thing I thought I would be reading on EG forums Monday morning.

    You know, you could probably get one of the people who build custom arcade sticks to come up with something suitable. It wouldn't be too hard to take an old sixaxis and wire the buttons to a device located near your feet and keep the stick for use by your hand.

    This is probably just the kind of application that Microsofts Natal tech will be really good for. If you could control games through gestures and movement rather than directly using a pad, you may find it much easier to play games?

    Anyway, my thoughts are with you. You seem to be taking the loss well and showing a remarkable amount of courage.
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