|I liked The Da Vinci Code too..|
Speak the truth hussy!
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|I liked The Da Vinci Code too..|
Speak the truth hussy!
It's weird, for something so badly written, terribly plotted and with such paper thin characters I find them very enjoyable and hard to put down, usually being finished with them in a couple of days.|
I suppose I should flay myself because I'm not plodding through something of a much higher quality at around 40 pages a night, when I can be arsed.
Crikey mate! Get over yourself - it's just a book.
Khanivor wrote:I hope you cleansed yourself with some War and Peace after that. Commoner.
|Actually, sorry Gremmi that was a bit harsh.|
I'll pick up a copy and looking forward to the Angels and Demons film next month. |
At least it's not a new Twlight book.
|I don't get the "holiday reading" thing. It's not as if it's hard to find decent light reading that can be read in a day or two. Just looking at my shelves: Wodehouse, Golding, Wyndham, Martin or Kingsley Amis to name a few. I don't understand why anyone would go on holiday and demand a nice hotel, tasty food, fantastic weather yet settle for a substandard read.|
|What a tremendous bookshelf you have. You must be a wonderful human being.|
|Why yes I am, and they are indeed tremendous books. What a shame (and how revealing) that you seem to think its pretentious to catch up on classic books from popular and acclaimed authors.|
Nah, there's nothing fundamentally wrong with trash. Sometimes throwaway stuff is what you feel like, especially to pass the time on a plane or train or whatever.|
The only problems I have is heralding them to be something they aren't. You can say 'I enjoy Dan Brown' without any problems (though I may sneer down my nose at you and haughtily snort derision in private), but anyone who claims they're (speaking broadly, not just about Brown) worthy of some sort of distinction, holding them up as great works from great writers and championing them as brilliant literature needs punching in the face.
With a brick.
EDIT: I hasten to add that no-one's actually done that in this thread.
|I'll probably buy it. Screw you guys and your Harry Potter.|
I'm a grumpy bastard.
JammyB wrote:I don't think he implied that. I think he implied that it's pretentious to come into the thread and claim to have many leather-bound books and that your apartment smells of rich mahogany.
|dan brown is shite, i bought da vinci code and was loaned the once with the super computer whatever it was called, useless writing, will not read another book of his|
|I enjoy his books, just like I enjoy Family Guy, Red Dwarf and Black Adder.|
|I enjoy his books just like I enjoy mowgli's posts.|
I don't enjoy Dan Brown because his books are jarringly badly written. Even Clive Cussler writes better: yes, even in the book where he had an author called Clive Cussler rescue his lead character Dirk CoolUnderwaterGuy or whatever his name is.|
Say what you like about his stories - plot, characterisation, background, sense of place, whatever (and I'll say "they're pretty poor") the fact is he can't actually work the English language very well. His vocabulary is small, his sentence structure is annoyingly clunky, he writes like a primary 7.
I'm hardly a snob, I'll read all sorts of science fiction, I'll read Robert Ludlum (the Something Somethingelse was an excellent book), I'll read space opera by Weber or Drake or Asimov or Heinlein, I'll read David Gemell, I'll read Brookmyre.
Dan Brown is the only published author I have encountered who is painfully bad at writing.
|The Da Vinci Code put me to sleep twice on a train, almost missed my stop.|
|Hey - the film of Angels and Demons is out later this year. I've decided to watch the film before I read the book this time.|
Once an eagle taught me courage. And I will never forget that day
Earlier I asked for a random page number - behold! (Spoilers if you haven't read the book, I suppose...)|
"Unfortunately, the press, as usual, had arrived before the fire department. They'd shot plenty of video before the pompieri cleared the church. When the firemen finally cut the victim down and laid him on the floor, there was no doubt who the man was.
'Cardinale Guidera,' one whispered. 'Di Barcellona.' The victim was nude. The lower half of his body was crimson-black, blood oozing through gaping cracks in his thighs. His shinbones were exposed. One fireman vomited. Another went outside to breathe. The true horror, though, was the symbol seared on the cardinal's chest. The squad chief circled the corpse in awestruck dread. Lavoro del diavolo, he said to himself. Satan himself did this. He crossed himself for the first time since childhood.
'Un' altro corpo!' someone yelled. One of the firemen had found another body.
The second victim was a man the chief recognized immediately. The austere commander of the Swiss Guard was a man for whom few public law enforcement officials had any affection. The chief called the Vatican, but all the circuits were busy. He knew it didn't matter. The Swiss Guard would hear about this on television in a matter of minutes. As the chief surveyed the damage, trying to recreate what possibly could have gone on here, he saw a niche riddled with bullet holes. A coffin had been rolled off its supports and fallen upside down in an apparent struggle. It was a mess. That's for the police and Holy See to deal with, the chief thought, turning away.
As he turned, though, he stopped. Coming from the coffin he heard a sound. It was not a sound any fireman ever liked to hear.
'Bomba!' he cried out. 'Tutti fuori!'
When the bomb squad rolled the coffin over, they discovered the source of the electronic beeping. They stared, confused. 'Mèdico!' one finally screamed. 'Mèdico!'
'Any word from Olivetti?' the camerlengo asked, looking drained as Rocher escorted him back from the Sistine Chapel to the Pope's office.
'No, signore. I am fearing the worst.'
When they reached the Pope's office, the camerlengo's voice was heavy. 'Captain, there is nothing more I can do here tonight. I fear I have done too much already. I am going into this office to pray. I do not wish to be disturbed. The rest is in God's hands.'
'The hour is late, Captain. Find that canister.'
'Our search continues.' Rocher hesitated. 'The weapon proves to be too well hidden.'
The camerlengo winced, as if he could not think of it. 'Yes. At exactly 11.15 p.m., if the church is still in peril, I want you to evacuate the cardinals. I am putting their safety in your hands. I ask only one thing. Let these men proceed from this place with dignity. Let them exit into St Peter's Square and stand side by side with the rest of the world. I do not want the last image of this church to be frightened old men sneaking out a back door.'
'Very good, signore. And you? Shall I come for you at 11.15 as well?'"
Page 434-435, Angels & Demons. Any very obvious typos are probably me, though his Italian is supposed to be very bad.
On a scale from 1-10, how badly written would you class this as? Is this as bad as it gets?
I'm sure it will be fine pulp fiction, well pulp fiction at any rate. |
I'm more interested in the next Matthew Shardlake mystery
"Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem! Oh, yeah!"
|The Da Vinci code was a whole load of nonsense but very readable. Angels and Demons was an abomination, barely could bring myself to finish it. And I read a whole load of rubbish fiction - crime mainly, but they're all better than this tosh. Will probably still read it once the library gets it in though|
|I like what Dan Brown has done for the classic arts.|
If you can read this you really need to fiddle with your forum settings.
I particularly liked the way that you only have to get used to a new set of names rather than a whole new complicated plot for each of his books. |
Replace Jesus with metorite and gandalf with the guy in the helicopter and you are golden.
It also has the added bonus of making you feel clever whenyou can guess what happens before you read it.
He totally called it
|Does the new one feature an albino monk?|
|That likes self-harm. Careful, Ruth Kelly might be listening....|
President Weasel wrote:
May I point you in the direction of 'Eon' by Greg Bear, a book once described as 'a carbuncle on the backside of science fiction'. A review which, in my opinion, was overly polite, it being, to this day, the worst book I've ever read.
But for truly painful writing, try some H.P. Lovecraft. Sadly it appears that Mr L. wrote in a time before punctuation was widely available...
I'd say it was 7 (if 10 is the worst). I have read worse.
There's a fantasy trilogy (of which I've only read half of) by Fiona McIntosh starting with the book Myrren's Gift. Now that was off the scale bad, it was as if the editor couldn't be bothered and just sent her shitty manuscript straight to the printer.