Match.com and Online Dating Page 316

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  • von_Doll 10 Oct 2012 13:07:44 2,141 posts
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    sport wrote:
    Just goes to show, having the body of an Adonis doesn't always get the girl!
    It's no good telling girls you can grate cheese on your stomach. You have to show them.
  • Zomoniac 10 Oct 2012 13:33:24 8,327 posts
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    Cheese grating on torso video or GTFO.
  • Deleted user 10 October 2012 14:47:28
    I kind of miss the days where I can lust over particular ladies, and my pathetic attempts to get to know them.

    Wait, no, the other thing - no I don't!

    It's more fun being attached actually, as you can flirt a bit and be far more confident.

    /bastard
  • elstoof 10 Oct 2012 16:04:48 9,235 posts
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    Confident that your missus will never find out?
  • WiseFool 10 Oct 2012 19:40:02 874 posts
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    Pretty much given up on online dating.. and then I find that one of my TF2 buddies for a about a year is a woman and now we've swapped pictures and flirting like crazy. Only problem is, she lives in a neighbouring country. I'm probably gonna go visit her, but neither of us are rich or looking to relocate.. So bitter sweet! =(
  • LionheartDJH 10 Oct 2012 19:49:16 19,632 posts
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    @WiseFool
    Is that really the case or was it more like this? ;)
  • WiseFool 10 Oct 2012 19:58:18 874 posts
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    That's like watching a car accident.

    Thankfully, this is nothing like it! =)
  • localnotail 10 Oct 2012 19:59:51 23,084 posts
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    sport wrote:
    Well today is dark day my friends. A dark day indeed.

    Gorgeous Creative Contract girl has gotten engaged. They move pretty fast in jewish world.

    Just goes to show, having the body of Adonis doesn't always get the girl!
    Aw. She wasn't good enough for you anyway.
  • DodgyPast 11 Oct 2012 05:37:54 8,821 posts
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    Any advice on keeping things nice but slow when you're chatting with someone and you really start to click?

    Don't want to make the mistake of going too fast which I always seem to do.
  • CosmicFuzz 11 Oct 2012 07:09:43 28,198 posts
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    Just keep thinking of your gran.
  • Salaman 11 Oct 2012 08:42:48 20,250 posts
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    CosmicFuzz wrote:
    Just keep thinking of your gran.
    :-D
  • sport 11 Oct 2012 08:51:56 12,968 posts
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    localnotail wrote:
    sport wrote:
    Well today is dark day my friends. A dark day indeed.

    Gorgeous Creative Contract girl has gotten engaged. They move pretty fast in jewish world.

    Just goes to show, having the body of Adonis doesn't always get the girl!
    Aw. She wasn't good enough for you anyway.
    Thanks local. I'm ok, but I don't think I'll ever meet someone with the those perfect bosoms ever again.

    I hope they're out there........

    somewhere.......

    ........
  • Deleted user 11 October 2012 09:13:31
    Rings a bell.
  • localnotail 11 Oct 2012 09:27:37 23,084 posts
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    DodgyPast wrote:
    Any advice on keeping things nice but slow when you're chatting with someone and you really start to click?

    Don't want to make the mistake of going too fast which I always seem to do.
    Imagine you had your penis blown off in a terrible accident / The War, so you can only be friends. It will also give you an intriguing melancholy air.
  • CosmicFuzz 11 Oct 2012 09:39:08 28,198 posts
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    Just have a wank before each date! Always calms the nerves. For best results you want to leave it till as late as possible, to prolong the calming effects. So wank just as you're parking your car in her drive (matron) or ringing her doorbell (matron!) or better yet, when she's chomping down on her starter (MATRON!!!).
  • Deleted user 11 October 2012 09:41:10
    :D

    Matron indeed!
  • ED209 11 Oct 2012 09:48:21 505 posts
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    @CosmicFuzz or when she's searching for change for a tip inside your saggy anus (ooh Mandrake!)

    ...did I do that right?
  • CosmicFuzz 11 Oct 2012 10:46:27 28,198 posts
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    There's never a wrong time for relaxation masterbation! Odd place to keep change though, Asda-price.
  • FWB 11 Oct 2012 16:06:59 48,056 posts
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    Wow, you move on fast, DP. :)

    Seems everyone gets married so quickly now nowadays. No chance I'd get hitched before the first five years. Seems insane to me.

    Edited by FWB at 16:09:02 11-10-2012
  • Trafford 11 Oct 2012 16:16:31 6,697 posts
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    When it comes to mail order brides, Dodgy Past is at the sorting office.
  • DodgyPast 11 Oct 2012 19:15:21 8,821 posts
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    Learnt a hell of a lot of Thai in the last 6 months without realising. Getting past the language barrier has been quite a revelation, so few foreigners can.

    A recent chat with the ex left made me realise that grand gestures were pointless.

    Anyway I discovered asking the girl in question out on date too early slowed things down quite successfully. :-P
    Probably still get a date but think I'm going to have to show some patience.

    Edited by DodgyPast at 19:28:12 11-10-2012
  • Lukus 11 Oct 2012 19:24:13 19,640 posts
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    Was it anything like this?
  • DodgyPast 11 Oct 2012 19:34:45 8,821 posts
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    Not really, I try to stick to women that have been to University and have at least reasonable jobs.

    People tend to dismiss Thailand, until they wanted a hard drive after the floods. They did the same for Toyota production a few years before and now chip supply and production is growing impressively. Know a couple of women doing account support for Samsung in that business.

    Edited by DodgyPast at 19:36:06 11-10-2012

    Edited by DodgyPast at 19:57:05 11-10-2012
  • Deleted user 11 October 2012 19:37:08
    The ability for a woman to make hard drives is pretty sexy.
  • DodgyPast 11 Oct 2012 19:59:45 8,821 posts
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    Deckard1 wrote:
    But these woman you're sleeping with have penises though yes.
    Don't worry deckard, the women with penises are apparently a lot easier to pick up. Don't think you'd need to pick up the the language to get access to one of their penises.

    p.m. me and I'll find someone who can take care of your obvious interest in the subject.

    Edited by DodgyPast at 20:02:20 11-10-2012
  • Lukus 11 Oct 2012 20:02:22 19,640 posts
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    DodgyPast wrote:
    Not really, I try to stick to women that have been to University and have at least reasonable jobs.
    But it was a bit like that? Crikey.
  • DodgyPast 11 Oct 2012 20:20:48 8,821 posts
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    Lukus wrote:
    DodgyPast wrote:
    Not really, I try to stick to women that have been to University and have at least reasonable jobs.
    But it was a bit like that? Crikey.
    Yes, and worse.

    Plenty of idiots make a complete mess of their lives over here because they're complete muppets.
  • mrpon 11 Oct 2012 20:20:51 30,263 posts
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    DodgyPast wrote:
    Deckard1 wrote:
    But these woman you're sleeping with have penises though yes.
    Don't worry deckard, the women with penises are apparently a lot easier to pick up. Don't think you'd need to pick up the the language to get access to one of their penises.

    p.m. me and I'll find someone who can take care of your obvious interest in the subject.
    Is that the ex?
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