Does anyone know any really GOOD jokes? Page 52

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  • mrpon 30 May 2014 10:38:53 29,170 posts
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    Jimmy Carr

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • nickthegun 30 May 2014 10:41:24 60,397 posts
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    Comic Sans walks into a bar. The barman says 'sorry, we dont serve your type in here'.

    My man gives real loving that's why I call him Killer
    He's not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, he's a thriller

  • PES_Fanboy 30 May 2014 10:43:19 16,961 posts
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    Dirtbox wrote:
    How do you get a gay to fuck a women?

    Shit in her cunt.
    Ahh, the Alabama Hot Pocket.
  • OptimusPube 1 Jun 2014 22:57:35 3,134 posts
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    A girl with no arms and no legs is sitting on the beach crying,
    a man walks up to her and says "What's wrong?" She replies "I've never been kissed before." So the man kisses her, but she starts crying even more. He says "What's wrong? I thought you wanted to be kissed." This time she replies "Yea, but I've never been fucked before." The man thinks for a second, and has an idea. He picks her up by her sides, and throws her as far as he can into the ocean. He yells to her "Well, you're fucked now!"

    Danny MacAskill gives me a boner

  • Ka-blamo 1 Jun 2014 23:48:18 7,448 posts
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    What's the stupid animal in the jungle?

    A polar bear
  • drhickman1983 2 Jun 2014 01:51:44 376 posts
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    Why can I always rely on my friend, the baking rastafarian bird?

    He's my bread-wren.
  • SpaceDave3000 2 Jun 2014 06:48:25 78,392 posts
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    The punchline is when his gangsta rapper friends dismember him.

    Edited by Dirtbox at 18:32:49 02-06-2014

    +1 / Like / Tweet this post

  • Nades 6 Oct 2014 21:23:59 1,373 posts
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    A man was walking his dog through the graveyard when he saw another man crouching behind a gravestone.

    "Morning!" he said.

    The other man replies, "No, just having a shit."

    Liverpool FC

    XbL: Nades x
    PSN: iNaades

  • Drakesmoke 6 Oct 2014 21:48:40 151 posts
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    I was in Greggs today and the stand where the sugar and stuff is had a sign saying 'Help yourself to condiments', so I said 'Cheers, I'm a swell guy and my new haircut is really fetching.'
  • President_Weasel 6 Oct 2014 23:27:10 9,450 posts
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    drhickman1983 wrote:
    Why can I always rely on my friend, the baking rastafarian bird?

    He's my bread-wren.
    I actually laughed at this.
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