Skip to main content

Long read: How TikTok's most intriguing geolocator makes a story out of a game

Where in the world is Josemonkey?

If you click on a link and make a purchase we may receive a small commission. Read our editorial policy.

Reader Reviews

First batch of 2004! Including C&C Generals: Zero Hour, Suikoden III, FFTA, Dungeon Siege: Legends of Aranna and plenty more.

EVE Online (PC)

by mustardkid

I'm definitely a gamer. I've played a lot of games... I've played(?) EVE Online, and to be honest I'm not sure that it's a game. For those that still don't know, EVE is what's known as a massive multiplayer online game - meaning that it's online-only, has many players, and it's, er, massive. It's been described in these pages as Elite online and sure enough it shares a lot of characteristics with the classic 8-bit space trade/combat/lifestyle title, but what I find more important is the characteristics that it doesn't share, and more of those in a bit. But first let's talk a little about EVE.

The first thing that strikes you is the visuals. It's gorgeous, the ships and star fields are beautiful to behold, in fact the whole thing reeks of class from the start. Then next thing that will strike you is the ease of use. As you are introduced into the game world by the opening tutorial any concerns about the complexity of the game melt away due to the intuitive and well laid out player interface. The next thing that will strike any right minded gamer is that... You can't fly the ships! Yes, you can't fly the bloody ships! You can choose a location from the map and warp to it, or click on a bit of space and watch the ship fly towards it, but you can't actually do any steering as such. This, for me, is a huge let down. Yes there is a potentially compelling Elite-style world of exploration and empire-building, which will appeal to many, but equally as many will be turned off by the simple fact that it all happens at a distance. To compare it to Elite is to compare, say, Tomb Raider to a point and click adventure. Harsh? Well, when combat comes down to selecting a target, switching on weapons, then going to make a cuppa while the game takes care of the rest... No, I don't think I'm being harsh at all.

The "skills treadmill" is another case in point. Yes, you need to earn money to buy new skills, but developing them is not dependent on the player's actions in the game world. To advance a level the player chooses which skill they want to train up, then after a predetermined time limit the skill is leveled up. You don't even need to be online for this to happen, so however much effort you put into playing you can't affect the speed to which you level up. This smacks of a cynical attempt to drag out the time-investment required and maximise the monthly subscriptions for players who are keen to make progress.

So on the one hand we have a beautifully realised universe with plenty of glittering prizes to egg the player on, but on the other hand a minimal amount of actual gameplay. It will certainly keep your eyes busy as you gawp at the beautiful visuals and it'll keep your mouse hand occupied as you pan the camera around said visuals. But for the most part your brain, reflexes and vast swathes of your time will be going to waste. Just thought you should know.