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Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 Review

Xbox 360 Review by Kristan Reed

11 December, 2006

Page 1 of 2. Page 2 ->

I think I may have just played the most pointless and gratuitous game in the history of mankind. I say mankind, because, like, only men could make a game where the sole point of it is stooping to pitiful and pathetic levels of digital voyeurism.

Actually, that's unfair. The main point of the game is essentially to buy up a collection of random tat by winning at various activities around the island - that have basically been constructed around their abilities to tease and titillate the lonely and sexually frustrated males out there who are too young to buy real porn. It's an alarming waste of Team Ninja's undoubted talents.

The game kicks off with some throwaway cut-scene nonsense to justify the whole malarkey, and it doesn't get any more convincing. Basically, the superfly Zack manages - via extraterrestrial means - to exhume the sunken tropical island that was the setting for the original, and so begins another two-week vacation for the well-toned girls of the Dead or Alive series.

Sisters of merciless

You kick off proceedings by selecting one of the nine girls (Kasumi, Hitomi, Leifang, Christie, Kokoro, Helena, Tina, Lisa and Ayane) and get a brief tour from Tina of what the island has to offer. With a quick (and super easy) two-lap Marine jetski race under your belt, you then have a first-to-seven points Beach Volleyball session and a look around the shops before deciding on your choice of hotel.

'Dead or Alive Xtreme 2' Screenshot gallery

Seriously, just look at the screen gallery. It'll be cheaper.

From there you can either get some shuteye or head to the Casino to try and boost your reserves of cash with some Blackjack, Poker, Roulette or Slot Machines. But much like the rest of the game, it's all a bit pointless - but with luck you can swell your coffers and make it an awful lot easier to buy all the merchandise on offer, if that tempts you at all.

On the second day of your fortnight's stay on New Zack Island, Tina leaves you in the lurch and somewhat limits the number of events you're able to participate in. Marina Races remain available at all times, and provides a quick and relatively easy way of racking up cash, but the racing itself is blighted by fairly annoying handling that makes it easy to get snagged on rocks and scenery. You can pull off stunts and flips with the X button to earn bonus cash, and gain turbos by steering the right side of the gate buoys six times in a row, but it doesn't ever feel like a satisfying racing event in its own right - even with the superior craft that you can buy. The visuals certainly give the impression that a lot of work went into this new mode (the water effects, in particular, are typically glorious) but beyond that it feels like a developer doing something it's completely unfamiliar with. Next.

Just like girls and shoes, I can't match you

You might assume that you'd be allowed to participate in all the various events at your leisure, but not so. With Tina having, annoyingly, left you in the lurch, you're not able to play Beach Volleyball, and getting a partner to join you is a slightly baffling process of trying to guess what sort of gift will impress them. The game gives little hint as to what things they like, which basically reduces the process to (sometimes expensive) trial and error - or guessing that they'd like something to match the colour of whatever swimsuit they're sporting. A little piece of me died inside when giving a Leifang a little yellow flower resulted in her becoming my friend, but at least the rampant materialist nature of the transaction bought me some time on the Volleyball court. For the love of god.

'Dead or Alive Xtreme 2' Screenshot boobs

The boobs look great. But why can't Team Ninja do hair yet?

Shame, then, that the Volleyball itself is so crushingly underwhelming to the point of being redundant. As is entirely the point of this 'game', the spectacle is fine. The character models and 'soft physics' make their funbags jiggle with ludicrous independence, and you can't argue that the animation isn't great, the scenery delightful and a really stunning showcase of big screen high definition gaming. But, really, what's the point of all that technical brilliance when the game feels like such a dog to control? In this two-on-two affair, you're relying, to an extent, on your team-mate to help you out, but quite often they're sluggish to react and not as aggressive as you need them to be. This results in you having to nudge them into one of three formations with the right stick, which is both distracting and unnecessary, with a general lack of focus on either player. Meanwhile, your opponents are constantly spiking the ball into oblivion and making life difficult for you. The controls are seemingly quite simple, with the A button acting as serve, spike and block, and B to receive or toss (or a quickfire Set Attack), but the actual gameplay is a frustratingly imprecise mess that's neither fun nor interesting enough to invest hours in mastering.

Elsewhere, you can buy tickets from the shop to engage in some of the other activities, but you might wonder why you bothered. Water Slide, for example, is a 750m course down a spiralling roller-coaster style water ride, and is blisteringly fast and looks great. But after one or two goes, you'll set a time and feel no compulsion to ever play it again.

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Comments: 1-50 of 188 in total | next 50 »

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disc
11/12/06 @ 12:58
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And it will probably sell more than Viva Pinata.
Steroyd
11/12/06 @ 12:59
#2
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When it's a two page review you know it's gonna be shit.

/looks at score

Told ya.
Psychotext
11/12/06 @ 13:01
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lol... funny thing is that I know my missus has already got this for herself for xmas. Now I just hope she's bought a 360 to go with it. O.o
therev
11/12/06 @ 13:06
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My wife wants this game, too.

It's more virtual Babie dolls than virtual porn, if you ask me.
disc
11/12/06 @ 13:07
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Just imagine the time and resources they spent developing this game could have gone towards Ninja Gaiden 2.
glaeken
11/12/06 @ 13:07
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So presumably those who get turned on over the dead or alive girls also wank over shop window dummies? I just don't get it.
Toothball
11/12/06 @ 13:08
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I'm still going to buy it.
ccfb
11/12/06 @ 13:09
#8
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"Indeed, almost all of the game's 'achievement' points seem directly related to how sad you are as a human being, and how relentlessly you want to play the game."

This, and all other 360 games.
WooHoo!!!
11/12/06 @ 13:09
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Now make the game everybody wants, NG2.
disc
11/12/06 @ 13:12
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Hmm actually.

Wii Volley Ball. I could see that being EXCELLENT. At the same level as Wii Tennis.
Emilia'sHorse
11/12/06 @ 13:12
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My misses bought it for xmas at my request. I know what I'm getting and don't mind at all. The first one was fun and layed back, it's not virtual porn. The internet has so much of the real thing I'm sure nobody would buy this to letch at the cyber beauties.
But if they do, each to their own.
Edited 1 times, most recently on 11/12/06 @ 13:15
spongebob
11/12/06 @ 13:12
#12
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Only thing Xtreme about this is how stupid it is.
mazzl
11/12/06 @ 13:13
#13
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i had a nude patch for the first one on the original xbox.
played the game twice, didn't get the controls.
it's just so wrong.
JediMasterMalik
11/12/06 @ 13:14
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Awesome...MUST BUY...oh...

...This game is a disgrace tbh, it just perpetuates the gamer stereotype which is banded around so much in the media..

@Psychotext - Have you asked your missus why she bought the game? Does she like bad games? Or is she really a lesbian? :P

@Emelia'sHorse - Why the hell buy it then? If you don't want iot for the girls, what other possible justification can there be?
Edited 2 times, most recently on 11/12/06 @ 13:16
Adam_T
11/12/06 @ 13:15
#15
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More Pics Please!

Dammit I hope they made a hot coffee mod
krudster [mod]
11/12/06 @ 13:16
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Fun and laid back?

*disbelief*
old skool
11/12/06 @ 13:16
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wait wait don't tell me why it got a low score , the tits weren't big enuff heh ?
Bitkari
11/12/06 @ 13:17
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Still not as bad as the movie...
Frogger
11/12/06 @ 13:18
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disc : "And it will probably sell more than Viva Pinata."

The ultimate game design would then be a Viva Pinata game with DOA babes instead of Pinatas.
krudster [mod]
11/12/06 @ 13:18
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Wait, here comes Beavis and Butthead.
trav
11/12/06 @ 13:18
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"Just imagine the time and resources they spent developing this game could have gone towards Ninja Gaiden 2."

Amen to that.
krudster [mod]
11/12/06 @ 13:21
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Actually, imagine the reaction if all the girls were replaced with greased up men with rippling muscles and codpieces. Wonder how it would score then.
Furbs
11/12/06 @ 13:21
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Better than FIFA:RTWC then? :)
schoozzzmmii
11/12/06 @ 13:22
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Have to say I really enjoyed the original. With the custom soundtrack feature adding some of my own tunes rather than the terrible pop provided and I'm set for an hour. I'm with Emilia'sHorse, there's plenty of real women on the net if that's what you're after, but I think the first DOAX was valid as a game in its own right (although I also fully realise I'm in the minority).

The thing is, on the one or two internet sites which gave a positive review of the first DOAX, this second title has been pulled apart for being quite a lot worse, which is putting me off buying it. But I guess it'll sell so badly that I'll be able to pick it up less than half price in a few months. And I'm sure I will at that :)
mash the x button
11/12/06 @ 13:24
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Is this played with only one hand on the controller?

/Gets coat
disc
11/12/06 @ 13:24
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Frogger: Well it sort of is, isnt it? Except it's not as fun but since it has some jugglies... well.
TeddyBoy
11/12/06 @ 13:24
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"Actually, imagine the reaction if all the girls were replaced with greased up men with rippling muscles and codpieces. Wonder how it would score then."

10/10?
Psychotext
11/12/06 @ 13:26
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JediMasterMalik: lol... could be an avenue worth exploring. She does like erotic art too. :D

Oh, and the people saying this time could have been spent working on NG2 need to get a clue. What do you think they are doing? All this game does is allow them to work out what they can and can't do with the 360. Rather than just dumping the work they do on pushing the hardware they sell it. They did exactly the same thing with the first game and remember how Ninja Gaiden turned out.
lambtron
11/12/06 @ 13:27
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"Actually, imagine the reaction if all the girls were replaced with greased up men with rippling muscles and codpieces. Wonder how it would score then."

Only if Bennett out of Commando was in it. ^_^
Stormflood
11/12/06 @ 13:31
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"Actually, imagine the reaction if all the girls were replaced with greased up men with rippling muscles and codpieces. Wonder how it would score then."

7/10
gazareth
11/12/06 @ 13:31
#31
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Are "serial wankers" people that beat the lovesnake while eating their breakfast?
krudster [mod]
11/12/06 @ 13:33
#32
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Hahah!
el_pollo_diablo
11/12/06 @ 13:35
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Don't forget the bloke who makes these games is a fucking lecherous tosspot too.

http://www.1up.com/do/newsStory?cId=3154...

Edited 1 times, most recently on 11/12/06 @ 13:44
kangarootoo
11/12/06 @ 13:37
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A hard one to call this one. The first one seemed to have two audiences in mind, well perhaps not two in mind but it seemed to attract two audiences (as far as I could tell).

1. People who want to see what is essentially anime softcore.
2. Girls who like the stereotypical (and I don't use that word negatively) "collect stuff and make friends" gameplay mechanics.
And 3 I guess. Girls who fit into both 1 and 2.

Whether this sets any womens movements back at all is a broader subject, akin to whether violent games make normal people violent and whether gansta rap lyrics create criminal tendancies.

To object to the imagery is valid I think, and part of me agrees. To allow that objection to create assumptions of fact regarding the effect of the imagery on the normal male (or female) mind is IMO a bit too much of a jump to make. To break it right down, does the absence of porn result in the absence of sexual thoughts? I think not given that sexual thoughts came first (no pun intended).

To summarise what I am rambling on about, I can bring two girls to mind that liked the first version of this game. One of them fitted into category 2, the other kind of fitted into cat 3, but they both loved the "collect stuff and make friends" (CSAMF) side of things. So, like on so many occasions where someone states that something is demeaning to women, it might be handy to ask a large group of female gamers if they feel demeaned by it. Of course some will but I would be interested to klnow the balance.

Point being that if the game mechanics and structure in this version are poor compared to the first, it has lost a big part of what redeemed it in the eyes of gamers that were into the CSAMF gameplay. In which case it can't really be defended other than as softcore (which can of course still be defended should anyone choose to do so).

Jesus, I do go on don't I.
Dizzy
11/12/06 @ 13:40
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Mainly for the Japanese market...

But over here a lot of the girlfriends of my friends liked the original game because of the collect and try out new outfits feature.
Edited 1 times, most recently on 11/12/06 @ 13:43
manuel_garcia
11/12/06 @ 13:42
#36
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Can anyone remember the disbelief when edge gave the first one an 8/10? Least all the review sites are on the money this time and giving it a score it probably deserves.
captain-future
11/12/06 @ 13:45
#37
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I gave the first one a 5/10 and this one doesn't add anything or?
BartonFink
11/12/06 @ 13:45
#38
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LOL - oh dear

How can Tecmo bounce back from this?
Edited 1 times, most recently on 11/12/06 @ 13:47
Steve007
11/12/06 @ 13:48
#39
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Mmmm, breasts!
Roamer
11/12/06 @ 13:50
#40
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You cannot, and I can't stress this enough, have male programmers working on a project such as this. They'll never finish the job, or release it too soon.
ChimneyBug
11/12/06 @ 13:52
#41
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not sure why they made it when Sexy Beach 3 does what they clearly seem to want to do but cant in a proper legal commercial way :)
LittleVoice
11/12/06 @ 13:53
#42
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Getting up your on [PC] high horse a bit?

From the description, it seems to be a pretty good - and pretty - "hang around somewhere and do stuff that's not too taxing" game. A bit like a holiday really. If it's ok to run around with big guns and shoot people, then why is it a crime just to hang around and look at them. Would people who kill virtual characters in video games, also kill them in real life?

(When I find my own B button, I reckon it will save a lot of effort.)
pollster
11/12/06 @ 13:53
#43
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Please, please, please drop this rubbish and put your efforts in Ninja Gaiden!
chupachups
11/12/06 @ 14:02
#44
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This kind of game has been appearing since Sam Fox on the C64 twenty years ago, and they're always very poor games and very poor (and expensive) forms of "adult entertainment".

Why do people keep buying them?
pjmaybe
11/12/06 @ 14:04
#45
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Actually more women I know like and play this game than men. Make of this what you will.

Peej
AcidSnake
11/12/06 @ 14:08
#46
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lol@ lambtron
That guy was terrific...
Especially those girly screams at the end...
lambtron
11/12/06 @ 14:11
#47
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Hehe Commando is probably THE most homoerotic film ever.

For a great review check out:

http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/reviews.c...

Dark_Stranger
11/12/06 @ 14:11
#48
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The japs made it as they dont get enough big tits in real life - arrr western girls...
ZuluHero
11/12/06 @ 14:11
#49
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"you wonder if the game is, in fact, some sort of elaborate concept joke devised by wry feminists to see if the male of the species really is as shallow and sad as they suspect"

Well, we'll have to wait and see what sales say i suspect, but at a guess i would say "yes" ;)

But as has been said above though, my wife also enjoys playing the first one as well. For the whole make friends, buy pressies thing.


Edited 1 times, most recently on 11/12/06 @ 14:12
AcidSnake
11/12/06 @ 14:15
#50
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"Remember when I said I'd kill you last, Sully?"

Sorry, blatantly off-topic...

To make it more interesting though they could have a crossover game...
The DoA girls Vs. the Soul Calibur girls Vs. Lara Croft

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