Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law

However, I enjoyed myself. But only because picking the wrong options always lead to a wonderfully written and performed scene that made me laugh out loud. And brilliantly, being "right" is often "wrong", thanks to the nonsensical nature of the show. For instance, at the end of the tutorial, presenting the correct and valid explanation for why Peter Potamus wouldn't be able to use a lighter to start a fire (no thumbs) gets you nowhere. However, stating a completely unbelievable lie wins you the case. For your reading pleasure, because I can think of no other way of portraying quite what this game is like without just typing the script out, here's the dialogue from that scene:

Birdman: While these may appear to be Peter Potamus's initials engraved on the lighter, if you flip it over, tilt it at 90 degree angle while gleaming it towards the sun, and possibly wear an eye-patch, the initials clearly read, 'GG'.

Judge Hiram Mightor: By the great god of horn-gods, I declare this case over.

Birdman: I can't believe it! We won!

Vulturo [opposing attorney]: We won! We ablubberflerubbleblubblefllfllfllgllurrr won!

[staring and silence]

Birdman: So... who won?

Judge: Eeny meeny miney Birdman. Ahem. [coughs up a butterfly]

As a fan of Harvey Birdman, it's like having five new episodes to watch. A real joy. As a fan of games, it's like the people responsible for Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude made it. Oh wait... It really is appallingly designed, put together with no discernable skill. It links the hilarious scenes, certainly, but without a glimmer of sophistication. The Ace Attorney games are flawed, but the comparison demonstrates serious incompetence on the Harvey Birdman developer's part.

So much is so clunky. Each interface fights against your instincts, letting you only click left or right, despite the objects on the screen being above or below each other. The inventory is a bitch to navigate, and the location changes are hellishly arranged. A nice touch is offering you the opportunity to re-watch a scene after it's been shown - something I did a couple of times because they were so funny. A less nice touch is offering the same opportunity after a two-second scene, because it's been so clumsily put together. And the constant whirr-clunking of the PSP every time it loads up the unfunny "wrong answer" dialogues - something it coughs up every time you press a statement for which no riposte has been written - is maddening. It's all just flat-out laziness.

Oh yes, and how short. Fewer than four hours. Yes, that short.

So what to do? I absolutely enjoyed myself as I made my way through, because hell, it was Gary Cole being Harvey Birdman in five fantastically written scripts. But this was despite a lamentably poor videogame. There are to be no more episodes of the TV show, so this is the only way to get new Birdman material. But should you pay for a game that's barely a game? What a to-do.

You're a grown up. I've given you all the information you need to make your mind up, apart from to mention this line:

"Why would this guy have a large cucumber on his bed? I wonder if he likes salads. Oh, that is probably the wrong thing to say in prison about your cellmate."