SBK: Snowboard Kids DS

Snowboard Kids

Snowboard Kids

NO MORE KIDS!

What I have learned is: Mario Kart is really, incredibly good. And further, I don't know why. Mario Kart has unfair deaths, where despite your superb racing technique, and complete trouncing of the AI drivers, a giant blue turtle can still knock you off the track one inch from the finish line, robbing you of your hard-earned victory. You throw your arms up in disgust, swear the paint from the walls, and most likely call Princess Peach a bitch. Then you play again.

Mario Kart never gives you the drops you want, but always seems to give the enemy something cool like the shrinky lightning, while you get lumped with a solitary bloody banana skin again. A banana skin you'll inevitably skid on yourself in a lap's time. But you keep on playing.

It cheats and robs you at every turn, but you take it - you keep taking it, going back for more. How on Earth?! It's a mystery I'd be fired for acknowledging were this a review of Mario Kart. Fortunately this is a review of Snowboard Kids, and Snowboard Kids cheats and robs you at every turn, and sucks for it.

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Rising Stars

Bub Bob PSP, Rainbow Islands, Snowboard Kids and Pilot Academy.

Strolling through a chilly Green Park last week, on my way to a hotel to take a look at some of Rising Star's 2006 line-up, I was treated to the sight of strange men in complex harnesses hacking away at the branching tendril-like claws of the tops of trees with chainsaws, gradually revealing a murky grey skyline pockmarked at its thinnest by the promise of sun. It seemed like a good, wanky introductory paragraph just waiting to segue into reflecting on the publisher's first twelve months.