Ubisoft has shut down its sports-focused Vancouver studio.
Pure Football has a theory. The theory goes that somewhere out there in the wild, gated communities of Esher there exists a sub-culture of professional football players who, rather than accepting defeat after matches, send each other text messages that say things like, "We wuz robbed. Rematch on Sunday. No referee."
It's hard to imagine that this sub-culture exists anyway (after all, most footballers are too busy with their other sub-cultures of golf, Ladbrokes and sexual violence), but Pure Football doesn't exactly sell it very well.
The introductory cut-scene, flown in from 2002, made me physically recoil in embarrassment despite an enjoyable cameo from Steven Gerrard's face (apparently on loan from a child's drawing of the Incredible Hulk, unless there's a subtext about overcoming the adversity of severe anaphylactic shock that I somehow missed). "Are you tough enough?" you're then asked.
Tom's team of weirdoes in a 5min match.
Tom's mighty Gallahs triumph.
Kristan boots up our tardy review copy.
Promising newcomer seeks market penetration.
Ubisoft's first attempt at a football game, Pure Football, will be released on 28th May.
Ubisoft has announced that it'll be making its entry into two more sports game genres this year with Shaun White Skateboarding and Pure Football.