Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan

Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan

Brilliant rhythm-action from the Gitaroo Man folks.

The problem with cheerleaders (apart from eating disorders, low IQs and other Saved By The Bell stereotypes we're lazily appropriating for these parentheses) is that their obvious aesthetic qualities can be overpowering. The motivational benefits of lithe, blonde, pompom-wielding acrobats are better measured in the crotch area than the cranial cavity. It's certainly our excuse for being rubbish at basketball and, thanks to the finely balanced televisual marketing equation of "product + woman = sale", the reason we're writing this in the early hours of the morning and not earlier, when we'd set aside time. It's bad enough trying to get anything written with neighbouring curtains, cushions and biros throwing shapes in the dancehalls of our eyes; introduce dancing girls to our periphery vision and the two would get on so well they'd probably elope, leaving us with tunnel vision, a lingering sense of inadequacy and an impending deadline.