Destroy All Humans! Big Willy Unleashed

Destroy All Humans: Big Willy Unleashed

Destroy All Humans: Big Willy Unleashed

Destroy All Sequels: Big Pointless Mess.

You can guess what to expect from the humour in Destroy All Humans: Big Willy Unleashed. They said willy! You know! As in a man's penis! As in my friend Billy had a ten foot willy and he showed it to the girl next door, she thought it was a snake so she hit it with a rake and now he's doing time because she's four. Except Big Willy Unleashed isn't as mature or witty as that.

Here's what else you can expect from the game: an abominable control system, tedious missions, hideous visuals and laughable multiplayer options. Even fans of the original Destroy All Humans games won't find anything to enjoy in this, the series' first Wii instalment in the series. And, if there's any justice, the last.

Let's start with the stupid plot. Comedy alien Crypto is back, doing his comedy Jack Nicholson impression just in case anyone has forgotten the reason this franchise isn't called Mars Attacks is because THQ couldn't afford the comedy licence. The game is set in the '70s, as you can tell by the clunky pop culture references and the way everyone wears flares. There's a character called Patty Wurst, as in Patty Hearst, the famous heiress who was kidnapped at gunpoint, kept blindfolded in a closet for two months, repeatedly sexually and physically abused and brainwashed into helping her captors commit crimes. Ha ha ha!

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EGTV: DAH: Big Willy Unleashed

Alien res-erection, ha ha! Oh.

The smart sci-fi spoofery of Destroy All Humans is being spun-off for younger alien watchers in Big Willy Unleashed - and THQ has released the first teaser trailer now showing on Eurogamer TV.