Cossacks II: Battle for Europe

Cossacks 2: Battle For Europe

Cossacks 2: Battle For Europe

Not tonight Josephine.

The Battle of Waterloo has been reproduced in videogame form on more than a dozen occasions and yet so far no-one has got round to modelling one of the most important factors in the French defeat - Napoleon's colossal haemorrhoids. (It's said that chronic piles limited the Little Corporal's mobility during the battle by keeping him out of the saddle). Developers GSC had the opportunity to rectumify this grievous situation with this standalone expansion for Cossacks II, but - criminally - they've parsed it up.

Okay, I promise there'll be no more hanus bum puns in this review. Apart from that one. Really, from here on it's all probing questions and sober analysis.

See what I did there?

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Cossacks II expansion dated

Cossacks II expansion dated

Next summer. (Er, should probably have kept that for inside.)

Remember that scene in Friends where Ross and Mike (Paul Rudd) decide to try and "bond" while Rachel and Phoebe go out on the semi-lash, and what actually happens is that they turn out to be so complimentarily tedious that they just end up picking at the labels on their beer bottles and making funny noises in an increasingly desperate spiral of shared silent embarrassment and terror?

CDV today announces Cossacks II expansion Battle for Europe is due out in the summer. There's new units, buildings, missions and available regions for the "Battle for Europe" mode, and new historical battles.

Including the Battle of Borodino.

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