Clumsy Pirates is a smartphone game based on Billy Budd, by Herman Melville. You know, the gruelling tale of forbidden love and miserable cruelty that went on to inspire an opera by Benjamin Britten.
Okay, I'm lying. It's not based on Billy Budd at all. But it is an extremely playable touchscreen puzzler that's had me locked indoors, tapping away at an iPad all week when I should be outside, eating ice creams, reading Mad Magazine in the park, and taking part in sun-drenched movie montage sequences.
The idea is simple: you're a cabin boy, which is lovely news, and you've just been handed a fizzing cannonball. This is not such lovely news, but at least you've got a decent length of time in order to decide what to do with it. The answer, as almost anyone will tell you, is to chuck it over the side of the boat. In Clumsy Pirates, that amounts to climbing from one deck to the next until you reach the goal at the top of the screen. But keep an eye on that fuse, alright? Seriously, what is it with you?