Isn't it odd that there exists a whole litany of games that we instinctively know are going to be plumbing the festering sinkholes of gaming before we even play them? Once such indicator of impending polygonal doom is a game's being titled "Beat Down: Fists of Vengeance", a title which is remarkable in its Nostradamus-like ability to prefigure the train-wreck of tragicomic wrongness about to unfold.
It's not just that it sounds like a movie that even your friendly neighbourhood porn dungeon will have placed in its "speciality" section. It's that the entire title screams "Game designed for IQs 60 and below. Strictly not to be supplied to any persons capable of rational thought".
It's at this point that I can hear the rustling sound of impatient forum fingers skipping to the end and unleashing witty counterarguments. But I know what you're going to say; and you're wrong. I don't shy away from computer violence. I just like to see it done with some style, and above all, some point. This game, in its infinite foulness, has nothing.