We’ve been so invigorated in a refreshing shower of high quality titles from the past three months that we’d forgotten games like this still exist. When not soaping-up with the next-gen, we’ve had the pleasure of pampering ourselves with a gift basket of minty fresh titles that have breathed new life into our crusty home consoles. We’ve deodorised with the perfumed prettiness of Shadow of Colossus and plucked the cheddar from our toenails with the ever-sharp TOCA 3. And while the piping hot water of Black sprays onto our face we reach out with squinting eyes and grab the Aeon Flux loofer. It’s damp and someone’s left their pubic hair on it.
Back to the cold shower of reality that states a large percentage of video games aren’t very good at all. Aeon Flux struggles to stay lukewarm. Based on the movie, based on the MTV shorts, based on anything to try and instil some kind of reason for its existence, it’s a game so bog standard it may as well come with its own carpet to soak up the stains.
Even by video game standards, the story behind Aeon Flux is nonsensical. A plague has wiped out a fair whack of humanity, with survivors living in a perfect society within the walled city of Bregna. Our heroine Aeon Flux is an assassin, part of a rebellion intent on uncovering the truth behind the ruling scientists and their dubious totalitarian state.