xandaca Comments

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  • The Game Awards 2017 live report

  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Well, that was certainly an occurrence. Martin, commentators, it's been fabulous. Thanks for indulging my terrible puns and relentless jabber about hobnobs. I'd like to dedicate this award to[ADVERT BEGINS] (Night, all - or morning, I suppose) Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Also: annoys me a bit when people talk about Odyssey being inspired by Mario 64, when it CLEARLY took its cues from Banjo Kazooie (or Tooie, when it comes to the T-Rex) Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Wasn't the consensus that Mario Odyssey was the better game between the two? Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Looks like Eiji Aonuma's going up this time. At last he's feeling 'Stagey' Aonuma. (OK, I'll stop now) Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    No, Martin, she's not miming, she's Pauline and I refuse to accept another word of dissent. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    All those poor people, possessed by caps. Do you think there are miniature cars whizzing about the auditorium? Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Pauline's had a dye job. Also, hooray, it's Pauline! (No, she's definitely called Pauline) Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Can't be bothered with real music at this time of the morning. As far as orchestras go, this always makes me laugh, though: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpFQLw5_N2o Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    @bigbramble Well, it's got a lot of passion and told the Oscars to fuck itself. So, in short, yes. Credibility out the wazoo. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Glad I haven't got to get up early this morning. To be a cliché and toss out a semi-relevant Oscar Wilde quote: "To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.” Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    I've been making these bad jokes for so long, I've started self-referencing. Entered my Tarantino phase. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Eiji Aonuma not going up? Maybe he's feeling 'Cagey' Aonuma. (I have even more jokes as contrived as this one) Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Ed Boon, stopping all of us from getting to Bed Soon. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Coming right up... another three hours of this stuff! Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    This lady's fashion choices could not be less appropriate (reverse-colour gymwear with additional nipples and wedges?) but you have to love the madness. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Rex from Xenoblade 2 should get a nod in this category just for the laughs. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    @Ozziw Remember that Konami E3 conference with Tak Fuji which was looped forever? It's like that. ONE MIRRION LOOOOOOOPS. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    @ozthegweat *applauds* Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Fashion choices are the real winners. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    'And on with the show'. Isn't there only one minute left? Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    You know, I don't think I've ever heard the word 'pastime' said out loud. What a moment. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    'Andy House' sounds like 'In Da House'. I haven't got anything more than that, just thought I'd bring it up. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    One nit when I was sleppin a grackler cam Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    @zepekit Delicious, are sneaky little hobnobses. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Wait, Jumanji wasn't the ads? Now we've got pre-ads ads? Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    'I'm talking about the game that plays you.' Soviet Russia? Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    He's got a bit of the Wiseaux about him. Ha ha, what a story, Geoff! Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Martin, I know a hobnob rush when I see one. I'm living one right now! Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    He's had too many hobnobs as well. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    @Zeburdee Oh wait, I just got your joke. Blame my tardiness on 3.40am and an excess of hobnobs. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    @Zeburdee Ah thankyoo, I'm here until... well, probably another twenty minutes or so? Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Up the charts is one way this Phoenix definitely won't be rising. (I have other jokes as contrived as this one) Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Best student game: Beer pong? Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    'I now have to go on the internet.' DON'T DO IT! YOU'LL NEVER RETURN! Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Mads! Day one. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    'Death Stranding: Exclusively for Nintendo Switch'

    CROWD REVOLTS
    Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    'Some of the best athletes on the planet.' Having a goosey at some of these chaps, I don't expect Usain Bolt to be reconsidering his retirement anytime soon. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Martin, ashamed to say I paid a microtransaction at my local shop for additional Hobnobs. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Americans stuck with McDonalds while I'm sustaining myself at 3am with Hobnobs. Think I'm winning this round. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    This chap has a lot of vowels. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Horizon: Zero Dawn - now with MEN! Neckbeard Edition! Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Hurrying through the awards and stretching out the ads. I understand that this event is probably expensive to stage and needs sponsors, but still... Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Anyone playing that game should call their fort Dunsinane and have their opponent storm it with the tree people. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    Hard to tell if the awards or the ads qualify as the break. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    That jacket is a disaster of tailoring. Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    EA to announce River Raid Revival. Enjoy the Pride And Accomplishment(tm) of microtransactions for fuel and upgraded jets! Reply 0
  • xandaca 08/12/2017

    I have absolutely no idea what the Zelda DLC is supposed to be about. Presumably four new 'dungeons', which look like expanded shrines? Reply 0
  • Splatoon 2's next Splatfest asks if the toilet paper flap should hang at the front or back

  • xandaca 03/10/2017

    What kind of lunatic chooses to reach all the way to the back? Reply +7
  • No One Lives Forever: The spy shooter that saved Monolith

  • xandaca 01/10/2017

    It's also, of course, one of if not the only 90s shooter that lets you play as a woman (technically NOLF released in 2000, but in form and function its recognisably a product of the preceding decade).
    Pedantic perhaps, but Perfect Dark, released about six months prior? The first Timesplitters game, also released in 2000, had playable female characters. Unreal in 1998. The never-not-hilarious (but also terrible) Trespasser was another, if I recall. In other words, female leads in FPS' might not have been common at the time - or now - but weren't exactly unheard of.
    Reply +23
  • Switch clicks in the hands, but on paper, it's in trouble

  • xandaca 13/01/2017

    "You shouldn't judge Nintendo hardware until you've held it in your hands."
    "Wandering around today's event, it was obvious that Switch is bearing the brunt of all the company's various ambitions; that Nintendo needs it to be all things to all men, or at least all things to all market segments."
    It's exactly that which sank the Wii U. The Wii took off because its conceit was not only immediately understandable, but immediately engaging in terms of the gameplay possibilities it offered, and with those possibilities applicable to virtually any genre or gameplay style. It may have, in the end, been reduced too often to mindless waggling and some ideas less fun in practice than in theory, but it inspired the imagination and felt like a real, substantial and fun evolution in the interaction between player and game. Only weak ideas need to be all things to all people. Great ideas make all people want them. They don't pander.

    The Wii U, it must be said, was generally a bad idea. No-one, from the beginning of its life until the single case of Mario Maker, could work out what the second screen could universally and seamlessly add to gameplay. One could see where Nintendo's thinking came from, with the success of the DS. Unfortunately, what works for one does not always work for another.

    When the Switch reveal trailer was released, it had a great idea. What if you could take your home console experiences with you? It's nowhere near as exciting as the Wii remote or myriad other Nintendo innovations, but was clear, concise and offered something other consoles didn't. It spoke for itself and created enthusiasm. Then we arrived at this morning's presentation. We got a lengthy recap of how the home console to handheld process works, a bloated and unnecessary overexplaining of an idea that was exciting in the showing, dull in the telling.

    Then we came to the joycons and things soured completely. Gimmick after gimmick. Haptic feedback can recreate real-life sensations! Fine, but how often is that going to be useful in-game beyond marginally upgrading the rumble feature? Will people even notice it in-game? Then there's the camera and rock-paper-scissors thing. Can't see much use for that in Mario, Zelda, COD or FIFA, waving your hand or some object in front of your controller. Motion controls (while I'm glad they're there) feel like a hangover from the Wii, while the 'two controllers in one' looks egregiously impractical, with each joycon seeming far too small to be practical. Better not to have a feature than a bad one you'll get criticised for. Regardless, all these additional functions, while perhaps desirable on a corporate checklist, only add yet more needless layers obfuscating what should have been the console's core message (switching from home to handheld).

    1-2-Switch exemplifies this surely damaging confusion. It's the game with the console's name in the title, yet has nothing to do with the console's big idea. Wii Sports was a game entirely built around communicating the Wii's motion controls, the world's most inspired tech demo. 1-2-Switch? Maybe it's fun - certainly didn't look it - but is built around everything that distracts from what the Switch is, or should be, about. Switch is all about moving from one screen to the other. 1-2-Switch tells players to ignore screens altogether. I'd be surprised if any of its gimmicks were in serious use outside the console's first year, beyond Nintendo shoehorning them in where they don't fit (see: touch functions in Mario 3DWorld; local multiplayer in Splatoon) as a transparently forced attempt at justifying their existence.

    Then there's the fact that, even beyond the technological confusion, the console costs significantly more than ones much more powerful, additional controllers are exploitatively overpriced, and a company which previously set its stall out in support of free online has done a complete heel turn. Where Nintendo should've been reaching out, it instead feels like they've sold their souls. All they needed to do was let the central idea speak for itself, as it did during the reveal video, avoid cluttering it with pointless crap and price it reasonably - the rumoured $250 would've been fine, particularly without all the flashy stuff in the joycons. Instead, they did everything but that.

    As for 'don't judge Nintendo until you've tried it': they're trying to get my money, it's up to them to convince me of their machine's worth. If they can't do that at a glance, they've failed. That's the difference between good and bad design. The insulting pricing is just the knockout blow.
    Reply +8