HotCoffee Comments

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  • Final Fantasy 15 guide, walkthrough and tips for the open-world's many quests and activities

  • HotCoffee 02/12/2016

    Chapters 10, 11, 12 were my favourites. The open world stuff fell totally flat for me due to the enormous scale of the world and difficulty in getting around. Reply +2
  • What I think after five hours of Resident Evil 7

  • HotCoffee 30/11/2016

    Not knowing what's in the next room, for example, being a little bit scared when opening a door, knowing that I'm pretty sure there's a jump scare ahead but I don't want to take a step forward, having a lack of ammo, figuring out, when am I going to use this, how do I optimise this, trying to figure out item management; we definitely had a huge list of things that we had to figure out how to prioritise.
    Thank god, he gets it.
    Reply +24
  • Final Fantasy 15 review

  • HotCoffee 28/11/2016

    @SegaBlueSky
    While I agree in general, writing a story where the major beats don't happen in spin-off movies isn't hard. Avoid a situation where 'Nothing of note plays out in front of you for most of the game' isn't hard.

    I'm not asking for Witcher 3 here, just basic competence after 10 years of time to plot things out correctly.
    Reply +18
  • HotCoffee 28/11/2016

    For a series universally known and loved for its emphasis on storytelling, can I recommend a Final Fantasy game despite its unsatisfying story? Instinctively I'd say no
    Can't believe they screwed up the story. It's the selling point of the series. How do they botch this after 10 years? It's just writing...

    God damn it Squeenix.
    Reply +1
  • No Man's Sky studio breaks silence, announces base building and more in huge Foundation update

  • HotCoffee 25/11/2016

    Three points to make:
    1. I'm glad they're still proceeding with the planned updates despite the backlash.
    2. I personally enjoyed the game a lot, but must admit that I fail to see how base building will add to the core experience.
    3. The previous two points shouldn't take away from the disgraceful lies peddled by Sean Murray prior to release.
    Reply +4
  • Fallout 4 one year on

  • HotCoffee 24/11/2016

    The player character spoke their dialogue out loud - a Bethesda first. It's the sort of change for which the consequences aren't immediately clear(...)
    Don't know if you were on the internet at all around that time, but it was blatantly clear to a huge amount of Fallout and Bethesda fans. People were hugely worried about it the second it was shown, and all of the worries proved to be well founded.
    Fallout 4's curveballs, regardless of how well received they've been, demonstrate an eagerness to take risks
    Nonsense. It was a move away from the niche of RPGs towards the voiced narrative FPS's that have dominated the industry. It was moving from an interesting space to a more marketable space. It was the avoidance of risk, not taking a risk.
    Reply +2
  • Sources: Nintendo Switch to get Pokémon Sun and Moon version

  • HotCoffee 18/11/2016

    @ISmoke
    I love JRPG mechanics but hate the twee storylines that get pushed in your face.

    Pokemon has always been great at keeping that out of the game - they just say 'Go beat the gyms and get on with it.' With the exception of Black/White, where it still wasn't so bad.

    In this game the story is in your face for the entire main campaign with no real ability to go off and do your own thing. I hated the story and dialogue, and it ruined my experience with the game because it was ever-present.

    The consider all the quality of life things that Gamefreak dropped from X&Y, the horrific framerate, the lack of any interesting caves or dungeons, the lack of any puzzles whatsoever... it was just a braindead linear slog for me.
    Reply +2
  • HotCoffee 18/11/2016

    All of pokemon sun's myriad flaws will be shown up brutally on home hardware.

    For whatever reason, these games get away with it on handheld, but on a home console you'll be able to see much more clearly just how sub-standard many parts of the game are.
    Reply -9
  • Beat the Beat: Rhythm Paradise is coming to the Wii U eShop next week

  • HotCoffee 17/11/2016

    That Remix 10 was really... stimulating! Reply +1
  • Super Mario Run launches for iPhone on 15th December

  • HotCoffee 15/11/2016

    I have no interest in F2P Mario bullshit.

    But offer me the entire game for 10 bucks with the nonsense removed... paying for a real videogame at real videogame prices... and you've got me hook line and sinker.

    Well done Nintendo, looks great.
    Reply +8
  • Pokémon Sun and Moon review

  • HotCoffee 15/11/2016

    @Kremlik
    You are right in general, absolutely. But it has never been as bad as this for multiple reasons.

    -The first is that there are no big caves or dungeons and the routes are super-short. The encounter rate is super, super high to make up for this.
    -The second is that every 5 steps along the path you get interrupted by a cutscene - very frustrating. Often a completely useless cutscene, too.
    -The third is that there's a big red flag on the map at all times to tell you where to go. There's no 'I wonder if I'm going the right way?' any more. Rotom just tells you where to go.
    -The last is that the barriers aren't interesting like a Snorlax but literal wooden barriers staffed by NPCs that the game admits are just there to keep you on the path to the next trial.

    In theory it's the same thing, but in practice it feels like a straightjacket. The truth is that 66-75% in when the story actually gets good this linearity is justified and the game sings. But it needed to be that good the whole way through to make it a good game. I was bored out of my mind for the first 10-12 hours.
    Reply +1
  • HotCoffee 15/11/2016

    @redcrayon
    Etrian Odyssey is my favourite series of RPGs. Be warned - it's vastly superior to Pokemon - it's well paced, properly challenging and treats you like an adult. Fire Emblem I would say the same. (Or would have before Fates screwed it all up in the story department.)

    HOWEVER, as you are a newbie to the pokemon series, the extremely slow opening of this one might not bother you so much. Learning the pokemon battle system (which truly has oceans of depth) may well make it worth it for you.
    Reply 0
  • HotCoffee 15/11/2016

    @redcrayon
    An HM move was a move you could use on the overworld that would let you get past an obstacle. For example, the move 'Strength' would let you move rocks around as part of a puzzle.

    Problem was these moves were often useless for battle and as such you needed at least one dedicated 'HM slave' - a pokemon that just had those moves.

    Instead, you are now gifted pokemon that you can ride who do the same thing. These ride pokemon are NOT part of your core team, they're not even your pokemon, you pretty much just borrow them from characters (for the entire game). This leaves your battle team of 6 pokemon free of having to carry useless moves. As each pokemon only has 4 moves this is a big deal.

    It's one of the best changes in the new game, though long, long overdue.
    Reply +8
  • HotCoffee 15/11/2016

    So the reviewer was an HM defender, thinks the cutscenes were good, and thinks the trials were in any way an adequate replacement for gyms?

    My goodness, let me just say that taste is subjective and you're entitled to your opinion.

    The electric trial at the mountain observatory is three braindead quiz questions in pitch black with single wild-pokemon battles after each question. That's it. There's no defending that. Massive step down for the series.

    "Sun and Moon deftly handles that issue by corralling the Pokémon you'll find in the wild to a smaller number of more specific locations."

    God damn it that's one of the WORST things about the new games! Is this opposite day?!?
    Reply 0
  • HotCoffee 15/11/2016

    I am actually shocked at this review. I finished up the postgame stuff in Sun last night and thought that it was the worst mainline pokemon game I've played (and I was there day 1 with Red back in the day).

    It's the Final Fantasy XIII of pokemon - long linear corridors with way too many interruptions and cutscenes for a story that is over-wordy while meaning nothing, and with a story that is so childlike it grates on your nerves. Just like FFXIII it gets good about 75% of the way in, and then in postgame you are finally given some freedom.

    I was massively disappointed. I could go on with other reasons, but I'll leave it there.

    Genuinely thought this game would get the worst reviews of any pokemon so far. So this is an absolute shock to me.
    Reply +2
  • The final Wii U will roll off Nintendo's production line this week

  • HotCoffee 01/11/2016

    Shockingly bad hardware from general conception to price. The second screen was such an albatross. Not truly portable, not truly useful as your eyes can't be in two places at once - and devs had to choose between making the second screen essential or adding off-TV play.

    That said, somehow it ended up with a simply stunning library of first party games. You know the bigger ones (the Marios and Zeldas etc), but trust me the following are magnificent and way underrated:
    Pikmin 3
    Yoshi's Wooly World
    Captain Toad
    Pokken Tournament

    And in DKC: Tropical Freeze and Splatoon it had two genuine contenders for game of the generation.

    As for disappointments, to me 3D World was a minor disappointment and Xenoblade Chronicles X a major one. But the vast, vast majority of first party games on Wii U delivered in spades.
    Reply +12
  • The making of The Witcher 3's greatest villain

  • HotCoffee 23/10/2016

    If it hadn't been for the spoon scene Gaunter could have been seen as a neutral character. Shame about that scene, it removed the nuance from the game. Reply -7
  • Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney is coming to iOS and Android this winter

  • HotCoffee 12/10/2016

    Sugar, sugar, oh that night in your embrace.
    When you stole away the keys my heart held on so tight.
    Pleasure... but a fleeting melody.
    It wraps itself around me, and now through the air I fly. Whoa-oh-oh.

    Burning on in my heart. Fire. Burn my love away. All away.

    Like a bullet of love - fire. Take my life away. All away.

    Fuck that noise, Trucy best assistant.
    Reply +3
  • Animal Crossing: New Leaf update will weed your town

  • HotCoffee 12/09/2016

    dude WEED lmao Reply -2
  • The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt review

  • HotCoffee 30/08/2016

    There are some games that get great critical reception whose reputation fades over time. Say GTA IV and its ridiculous Metacritic. Fewer games get that kind of reception, only for the first year to find fan reaction slowly building until the game reaches 'beloved classic' status. That's what has happened with the Witcher 3.

    When we talk about this generation of games, The Witcher 3 will be one of the first 5 mentioned.
    Reply +3
  • The sounds of Madden NFL 17 come from an unusual source

  • HotCoffee 25/08/2016

    I'd rather not have known that, actually. Takes me out of the game now. Why not just use the real thing? Reply -21
  • No Man's Sky review

  • HotCoffee 12/08/2016

    I've played it for 15 hours.

    For those who want 'unique work of engineering art to lose yourself in' it is Essential. For those who want 'a fun videogame' I'd rate it Avoid.
    Reply +6
  • Nintendo NX is a portable console with detachable controllers

  • HotCoffee 26/07/2016

    This is great news. Portable gaming is Nintendo's strength, and the 3DS needed to be replaced. Competing against PS4 / XB1 using the 'old model' of home consoles was never going to work.

    Great decision Nintendo.
    Reply +41
  • Uncharted 4: A Thief's End review

  • HotCoffee 05/05/2016

    I'm not one to usually whine about spoilers, but this review outright states way too much of what happens, and gives huge hints as to the ultimate fate of the characters. That's disappointing.

    The review is well written when it discusses the gameplay changes, presentation and tone, so there was really no need to take us on such a linear trip through the set-up and main story of the game in the fourth and fifth paragraphs, or give the hints as to the ending in the first and last ones.
    Reply +126
  • Vote: What's the best Zelda game?

  • HotCoffee 17/02/2016

    Just put in my entry.

    1. Ocarina of Time
    2. Legend of Zelda
    3. Link's Awakening
    4. Majora's Mask
    5. The Wind Waker

    I never liked Link to the Past. Was disappointed with it as a kid. One of my top two choices is definitely my favourite game of all time, though. TLoZ on NES was my first ever video game as a child. What a way to start. Still the coolest looking cart of all time.

    Also, just realised I've beat all the ones listed except for Four Swords and Triforce Heroes, and the only one I didn't beat twice was Oracle of Ages. Yeah, I'm a Zelda fan.
    Reply +1
  • Digital Foundry vs Xenoblade Chronicles X

  • HotCoffee 01/12/2015

    These guys are masters at the craft, and it appears their talents have not faded. The first Xenoblade seemed like black magic on the Wii. It was a genuinely jaw-dropping technical accomplishment.

    But while the first Xenoblade is one of my favourite games of the past decade, I kinda feel like Nintendo would be best served having them make something a little more mainstream after X, to counter the whole 'Nintendo games can't do good graphics / Nintendo games are for kids' arguments.

    After all, nothing with faces like those will ever be mainstream or anywhere close in the West.
    Reply +19
  • Better than Halo?

  • HotCoffee 30/11/2015

    "I love my Skinner Box, I do. I never want to leave it!"

    "N-no, it's not a cage, it's a box! I c-choose to be here? Now where's that next piece of loot. P-please, I need it. I need it. I need it so bad..."
    Reply +10
  • Is Bloodborne the best game ever, or just the second best?

  • HotCoffee 24/03/2015

    So you didn't like it, then? Reply +7
  • The best Wii U games

  • HotCoffee 08/03/2015

    I have them all, except for Monster Hunter (not for me) and Scram Kitty.

    DKC: Tropical Freeze is the pick for me. It's not the most initially impressive game of the bunch (Mario Kart 8, 3D World and Bayo 2 have far more initial 'wow' factor) but it's the most perfectly formed, and probably the greatest 2D platformer of all time. Yeah, it's that good. 3D World starts off incredibly, but a low level of difficulty until the final couple of levels and some level design that's just too 'wide-open' makes it less memorable than it should be.

    As for Hyrule Warriors, the core gameplay is fun enough, but there's no way a game with those kinds of cynical gameplay mechanics should be near a list like this. In Hyrule Warriors, whether you succeed or fail is down to how many levels you've grinded, and the game asks you to put in hundreds of hours of play in service to gameplay that can't hold up under that amount of time. I beat it and completed vanilla adventure mode - it's nowhere near good enough for this list.
    Reply +2
  • Hyrule Warriors' secret final DLC character revealed

  • HotCoffee 28/02/2015

    Cuccos gave me so much grief in this game that I refuse to buy this out of principle.

    "Mama cucco is enraged!" No. I'M the one who's enraged! I did everything I could for your chick!

    Nice secret, though. Good that they went the extra mile.
    Reply +6
  • Trials Fusion's Fault One Zero DLC is out now

  • HotCoffee 25/02/2015

    Trials is one of those rare games that is less fun at hard difficulties. Extreme tracks are just a pain in the arse.Be interested to see what difficulty the DLC tracks are at.

    Some nice effects and art in that trailer, though.
    Reply +3
  • Video: The Best Sex I've Ever Had (In Games)

  • HotCoffee 23/02/2015

    I feel honour-bound to comment on this story.

    We've come a long way, baby.
    Reply +18
  • Introducing MetaBomb - our experimental new games portal

  • HotCoffee 18/02/2015

    The text in the top-left of the site - "Metabomb /n Hearthstone" looks really cheap and somehow low res on this retina screen. Rest of the site is clean and good looking though.

    I don't play Hearthstone (tried it, liked it, refused to get addicted) but this is a great idea.
    Reply 0
  • Live from 4pm: Q&A with Eurogamer's editor

  • HotCoffee 10/02/2015

    What do you thin of the criticism that your new system is essentially a four-star scale? I don't agree with that, but I'd love to hear your rebuttal. Reply 0
  • HotCoffee 10/02/2015

    Hi Oli, congrats on the change. Do you have any plans to for technical info sidebar? I'd love for your reviews to be a one-stop shop of info.

    I'm talking about basanswers to things like: What platforms the game is available on; If there's single player (yes/no), local multi, online co-op, online competitive etc. The resolution and FPS of the tested version; how long the reviewer spent playing the game etc.

    Many reviews will cover all of that, but it would be helpful.
    Reply 0
  • Eurogamer's Game of the Year 2014

  • HotCoffee 01/01/2015

    Completely disagree... it was only second on my list.

    Seriously, though great choice EG. Great choice. As for my first pick, that was DKC: Tropical Freeze. I'm not just a fanboy, either, my list was.

    1. MK8
    2. DKC: TF
    3. GTA V (Ps4)
    4. FF14 (Ps4)
    5. MGS Ground Zeroes (Ps4)
    6. Don't Starve (Ps4)
    7. Spelunky (Ps4)

    But this year, Nintendo took the cake. Sad that Smash didn't make it, though.
    Reply +4
  • Castlevania's Vampire Killer beats

  • HotCoffee 21/12/2014

    I'll never forget the time I got to the Forest of Monsters in Super Castlevania 4. I wanted to stop playing and start dancing. Easily a top 5 game series for music. Reply +3
  • Rich Stanton on: GTA's growing pains

  • HotCoffee 13/12/2014

    GTA is petty, teenage humour? GTA is vindictive and mean? Stop the presses! It's intentionally so! You even nailed it by mentioning Trevor, and how he is a mirror to your average GTA player's mentality while playing the game. Rockstar are entirely aware of what they're doing - how awful, dirty, mean and grubby their game is, and the horrible flip side which is that this is precisely why it can be so much fun.

    And when people talk about GTA's satire, they're not referring to the little moments of puerile humour on street signs or the radio, they're referring to the way it all adds up to form a picture of a society in thrall to greed and the cult of 'oneself', a society where the murderous acts that the characters partake in don't actually feel too out of place at all.

    Yes, all the characters are horrible. If you cared about them you'd no longer be in the correct state of mind to play GTA. Even if you do get attached to Michael, Franklin or Trevor you need to be aware that they're sick murderers at heart. Everyone else is a potential target. Doesn't make sense to have them as anything other than caricatures to serve the story and satire.

    The point is that GTA isn't actually a reflection of society, as is often claimed, but a collection of stereotypes and movie parodies jumbled together. Rockstar's cultural inspirations have never had much to do with living in a big city, but instead come from Hollywood, TV and music - GoodFellas, Miami Vice and gangster rap the most obvious suspects. GTA is not so much a reflection of life as a reflection of fictional lives, a pastiche rather than a satire.
    If you understand this, then I can't understand how you could make the rest of the points in your article.

    Anyway, I'd like them to tone down the prostitution stuff - adds nothing to the game. And gay stereotypes are old and lazy humour whether or not you find them offensive. But the game as a whole is brilliant, and I think they nail the tone. It's not a positive one, but they nail it.
    Reply +30
  • Don't Starve Together enters Steam Early Access next week

  • HotCoffee 12/12/2014

    Don't Starve is really hard to get into, and very, very annoying at first.

    But when it clicks... man what a game. I'm not sure that making it multiplayer would improve it, though. That sense of being overwhelmed on your own in a bizarre world was kind of the defining feature of the first one.
    Reply +8
  • Grand Theft Auto 5: deconstructing the remaster

  • HotCoffee 29/11/2014

    So glad I waited for this game on PS4, but now I'm kind of sad that I don't get to experience what a huge upgrade it obviously was.

    Well done Rockstar. A fantastic game deserved this kind of work put into the remaster. Shame more companies don't care enough to do it like this.
    Reply +31
  • The Nintendo difference: Wii U's first two years

  • HotCoffee 29/11/2014

    I bought a PS4 before a Wii U because of the hype. Now, the PS4 has been okay, it really has, but the Wii U has blown me away. The Gamepad isn't the greatest thing ever but the software just can't be beat. Reply +18
  • Pokémon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire review

  • HotCoffee 27/11/2014

    Last year's Pokémon X and Y absolutely floored me with how emotive and biting its characters and plot were.
    I love Pokemon X to pieces. Was one of my GOTYs last year. But I couldn't take the review seriously after this line. As close to 'wrong' as an opinion can be. Pokemon is one hundred great things. Well written, emotional, story-driven and 'biting' are not among them.
    Reply +8
  • Catastrophe games: How Spelunky and XCOM helped prepare me for an incurable illness

  • HotCoffee 26/11/2014

    Brave man, brilliant piece. All the best, Christian. Stay strong. Reply +4
  • Assassin's Creed: Unity launch debacle sparks Ubisoft rethink

  • HotCoffee 13/11/2014

    Watch Dogs (sorry - Watch_Dogs), Dark Souls 2 (the downgrade), Driveclub, AC: Unity, The Master Chief Collection, Sonic Boom...

    2014 is a fucking hideous year for big-brand games working correctly and honesty in advertising. Glad I own a Wii U as well, or it would be the worst year of gaming ever.
    Reply +38
  • Video: See how Mario Kart 8's new Rainbow Road compares to the SNES original

  • HotCoffee 13/11/2014

    Only weak track in the new DLC, imo. Well, Excitebike's a bit gimmicky, but it's still fun.

    The whole point of Rainbow Road SNES is 'don't fall off'. When it's widened to this extent, it's just a bland, flat track. Add to that the fact that we already have two fantastic Rainbow Road's already and this one comes across as a bit of a dud.

    No matter, though - the rest of the DLC is stunning, and well worth your time and money.
    Reply +5
  • The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth review

  • HotCoffee 12/11/2014

    Absolutely shocked at this review. Have played it and beat it a few times on PS+ and thought it was absolutely terrible. As in, one of the worst games I've played all year terrible.

    The review doesn't cover anything regarding the mechanics of how Isaac controls, the basic level design issues of the game, the repetitive room designs, the poor music and weak sound effects... what the hell? The review is far more concerned with discussing the game as a piece of art, as a 'work' of a person with an unfortunate childhood, than as a game that might be fun to play. Which, unfortunately, it isn't.

    EDIT: Shit, I wrote all that when I could have just liked Fabio's commented two places above mine. Whoops. Well said Fabio.
    Reply -7
  • Assassin's Creed Unity review

  • HotCoffee 11/11/2014

    Shame. Black Flag was bloody great. Some of the videos make the game seem like a real technical mess, too. No mention of that here? Strange. Reply +15
  • Blizzard reveals Overwatch, a team-based competitive first-person shooter

  • HotCoffee 07/11/2014

    "First new IP in 17 years."

    Sounds about average for the major players in the gaming industry, no?
    Reply +39
  • Majora's Mask comparison video shows off 3DS enhancements

  • HotCoffee 07/11/2014

    The reason OoT 3D was so good is that it was exactly how you remembered it... except that it actually wasn't. They'd tricked you by being so faithful to the source material in their upgrades.

    With the 'new' moon and some brightening of really dark scenes I'm worried that they aren't achieving the same thing here. Majora's Mask is a dark, creepy game. It needs to stay that way. The new moon is far less subtle than the old one, and I don't like it. The old one looked like a face had been carved into an actual moon. This one looks like a gigantic head in space.
    Reply +4
  • PlayStation 4 sales help Sony's game division to profit

  • HotCoffee 31/10/2014

    PS4 is on 13.5 million sold already. That's a Wii-like pace.

    While this is cause for celebration, the PSN issues, Driveclub fiasco, poor exclusives and lack of OS updates has me just a little concerned about the PS4's direction. I know times are rough, but Sony needs to keep on investing in its infrastructure. As for games, they'll come. Next year looks spectacular, starting with Bloodborne.
    Reply +37