HotCoffee Comments

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  • New Hyrule Warriors trailer shows off its expansive cast

  • HotCoffee 26/07/2014

    Looks more amazing with every video. However I can't help but feel that since a large part of the appeal of this game is Zelda fanservice that Nintendo might just be ruining the game with these videos at this stage. I would have been fucking blown away to find out all the stuff that's in there if I just bought it, instead I found out online. I get that they need to sell the damn thing, but still...

    Also, lol at the fact that you gave Ruto her 'princess' honorific but failed to do the same for Zelda. Someone at EG has a taste for fish, no?
    Reply +9
  • Mario Kart 8 Japanese ad embraces Luigi's death stare

  • HotCoffee 22/07/2014

    Best looking game I've ever played. Achieves the look it wants to 100%, unlike something like Infamous: SS which looks brilliant but could still be improved in a host of ways. Reply -1
  • The best games of 2014 are actually from 2013 - and that's okay

  • HotCoffee 12/07/2014

    I want new games as much as anyone, but I'll just say that I wouldn't cry if we got Mario Galaxy in HD.

    Think about it, Nintendo.
    Reply +10
  • Suda 51 defends Killer is Dead's controversial "Gigolo Mode"

  • HotCoffee 04/07/2014

    I usually hate the SJW bullshit, but here it's appropriate as this game mode is prima facie nuts, as opposed to people rooting around in subtext for something to be upset by.

    And Suda's reaction is fucking priceless, it's like a child's. He says
    a) Hey man, not my fault, boss told me to put it in, they're like, perverts and shit;
    b) I made it tough to bribe the women for sex, it only works like 95% of the time instead of 100%;
    c) If you'd even fuckin played it you'd know that noob

    I'm being facetious with my paraphrasing there, but my word he doesn't come across well.
    Reply -1
  • Editor's blog: I am sexist

  • HotCoffee 19/06/2014

    @linea
    No-one wants 'brainless videogame coverage without any kind of critical bent'. We just want the intelligent, critical writing to focus on the art of making the games rather than social context and issues of social justice.
    Reply +1
  • HotCoffee 19/06/2014

    Been coming here daily for almost as long as Tom has been writing here, in my case 9 years.

    If this kind of content becomes a feature, I am afraid I will quickly stop visiting entirely. I did the same with Kotaku years ago.

    There is merit to this kind of discussion, but it's not why I visit this site or play video games. This is my escape from my normal life. My escape from deep thinking, from feeling guilt or doubt, from uncertainty. When you write articles like this you basically pierce that bubble that is the entire reason I game. I have conversations like this about sexism with friends. I deal with sexism and racism related issues at work. I have no problem interfacing with this kind of discussion. Just not in gaming, which is my escape from all difficult issues.

    Tom thinks this is important to say, because gaming is his job, and thus entwined with his life. For most of us this is just a couple of minutes a day. And we don't want to deal with this stuff is those few moments of free time. Understand your readers, Tom. They're not in the same situation you are.

    I eagerly await to see what happens to this site.
    Reply +6
  • First Mortal Kombat X gameplay footage

  • HotCoffee 10/06/2014

    ...
    That's a cross-gen game, all right.
    Reply -2
  • Amazon lists next-gen Mortal Kombat 10

  • HotCoffee 02/06/2014

    I'm not typically this shallow alright I am, but they really have to do something about the manfaces on the women in the next one.

    I'm not saying pretty them up, just make them look recognizably female without having to look at the massively exposed cleavage.

    But yeah, I'm hyped. Let's hope they go with a new story and new characters (in addition to MK9's excellent roster) rather than bringing back the terrible MK4 and Deadly Alliance ones.
    Reply +12
  • Pikmin 3 adds new stylus control option

  • HotCoffee 31/05/2014

    @markusveralius
    It works through Club Nintendo. If your country doesn't have Club Nintendo, you may be out of luck. If it does, sign up before you buy the game. Once signed up you should be able to see if the offer is available. It's important to sign up first especially if you buy digitally as it's auto-registered to your Club Nintendo account in that case.

    Make sure that the country your Wii U is registered to and the country you sign up to Club Nintendo in are one and the same, or you'll get a code that won't work.
    Reply +6
  • HotCoffee 31/05/2014

    Pikmin 3 is magical. So is Mario Kart 8. They're the two best games for the Wii U so if you have neither this deal is just incredible.

    I already had Pikmin, so I got New Super Mario Bros U for free instead. Surprise, surprise - it's shit. Bloody 'New' series, such a pile of donkey shit.

    Anyway, nice to see them updating Pikmin. Was looking forward to a summer replay of it anyway.
    Reply -13
  • Eurogamer readership survey 2014

  • HotCoffee 19/05/2014

    Terrible survey. Clearly based more on selling us stuff than improving the service.

    Also, things like 'How many DVDs did you buy last year' had their lowest amount at '0-5'. There's a huge difference between someone like me who never buys one and someone who might buy a couple.

    Not being able to select 'I don't want it, I don't like it' for the XB1 was poor as well.

    As for the site itself, I don't like video content but if you're going down that road then there's three good options:
    1. More DF content - they are excellent.
    2. Sit-down, serious interviews with devs, can be about the making of an old game or stories of the industry or whatever. Not advertising a new game, actual interviews because these people are interesting and matter.
    3. Walkthoughs; tips and tricks etc. Useful things.

    Just not 'two people talk into a camera while playing a game and ZOMG so wacky fun time!' Anything like that and I leave.

    Also, while there are legit social justice issues to be tackled in games, that's not why I come here. Left Kotaku and other sites when that stuff was introduced and I'd leave here as well if it happened here. News and reviews, please.
    Reply +3
  • Upcoming Super Smash Bros. to include playable female Animal Crossing villagers

  • HotCoffee 17/05/2014

    Total misuse of the Bechdel test there, EG. That test is for books or film and requires two female characters to have a discussion about something not concerning a man. As no one in Smash Bros ever does anything but beat the shit out of each other, the test couldn't be less relevant.

    EDIT: Also, Sheik is a man both in appearance and 'downstairs', so 'she' doesn't count. It's magic, baby.
    Reply +11
  • Americlap is the most intentionally stupid, monotonous game since Desert Bus

  • HotCoffee 17/05/2014

    No one has posted the originating video of the americlap meme yet? It's really quite something.



    The word has been around for about 3 years, I'd say.
    Reply +3
  • Mario Kart 8 review

  • HotCoffee 15/05/2014

    It looked like a 10/10 months ago, didn't it?

    Delighted.
    Reply +41
  • Microsoft to sell Xbox One without Kinect for £349

  • HotCoffee 13/05/2014

    'But it's impossible, the OS won't function without it!'

    Ding dong, the witch is dead. There was a time when MS was a force for good in the industry. A time of the original Xbox and the first years of 360.

    With Phil Spencer at the helm, perhaps that time will come once again.
    Reply +148
  • Nintendo refuses to allow same-sex relationships in Tomodachi Life

  • HotCoffee 08/05/2014

    I'm all for gay marriage and it would have been nice to have it in, but its omission isn't bigotry or hatred. Not all products have to cater to all people, and Nintendo have always been extremely conservative about making any waves at all in this area (sex and relationships; gender etc). They wouldn't even show Link and Zelda bloody kissing in the last Zelda, preferring to cut away. Even a bog-standard hetero kiss is a bit risque for them. Considering that attitude this isn't surprising at all. Reply +86
  • Madden NFL 15 touches down in August

  • HotCoffee 28/04/2014

    Madden is the beginning and end of all arguments regarding whether or not exclusive licenses are ever a good thing.

    They take junior programmers, pay them peanuts to upgrade the old engine in the most minor ways, update the rosters and that's it. It's fucking pathetic. NFL 2K5 is still a better game, almost a decade later. In no other genre is there a case where the best game is clearly a ten year old one.

    Fuck Madden NFL. As an NFL fan who wants a good NFL game more than anything, fuck it to hell.
    Reply +7
  • Samsung Galaxy S5 review

  • HotCoffee 27/04/2014

    it's impossible to ignore that everywhere you look there is needless duplication of functionality
    Drives me crazy on my S3, and it's the one reason I'd think about going Apple if I could - the system is just more cohesive.

    Still, I've tried the S5 at Samsung's launch event in London and it's pretty nice. Worth the price? Probably not, and I'm not sure where the top phone makers can go from here to justify what they charge. But no one who gets one will be disappointing. If I had the money my choice would be the HTC One M8, but these phones are all pretty close at the moment.
    Reply +11
  • Super Mario Land retrospective

  • HotCoffee 27/04/2014

    Even as a very small child i thought it crossed that odd line between 'being inventive with the ideas of series x' and 'no longer actually being a proper game from series x'.

    Not a bad game, but not a particularly good one, and only barely a mario game.
    Reply -15
  • Mario Golf: World Tour review

  • HotCoffee 24/04/2014

    I'll be buying this for sure and was a Toadstool Tour fanatic, but on the basis of the demo alone it's a long way behind the last Everybody's Golf.

    That's not a bad criticism - Everybody's Golf is one of the best video games around. But I wonder how long Mario Golf will last with me when I have EG always at my fingertips.
    Reply +2
  • Pokémon X and Y sales hit 12m copies

  • HotCoffee 07/04/2014

    At roughly 40 dollars a pop, that's half a billion dollars of revenue. If this was a mobile game, this news would be plastered everywhere. But it's not, so...

    There's a reason Nintendo will stick to making their own handhelds for as long as possible.
    Reply +6
  • 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil demo out today

  • HotCoffee 01/04/2014

    Welp, you know you've been playing PS4 for four months when a trailer like this appears to be PS2-era graphics to your next-gen accustomed eyes. Reply +5
  • Diablo 3: Reaper of Souls review

  • HotCoffee 31/03/2014

    Sounds good, but far, far too late.

    Diablo 3 was a phenomenal combat system surrounded by some of the worst meta-mechanics ever put into code. And having experienced that I'm just not willing to go back.
    Reply -2
  • Microsoft: Halo 2 Anniversary multiplayer "would have to be fantastic"

  • HotCoffee 28/03/2014

    Halo is one of the most overrated game franchises of all time, but the multiplayer experiences of Halo 2 and Halo 3 were magnificent. That's the one thing Halo did for the gaming world - a massive leap forward in online multiplayer for consoles. And that's a hell of a thing to be able to say, and one of Microsoft's best gaming achievements. Reply -7
  • UK video game tax breaks approved

  • HotCoffee 27/03/2014

    @MonkayMajic
    That's the point. GTA is made in the UK, so all they need to do to get huge tax breaks on a huge project is move the setting to the UK.

    Therefore it legit makes sense to do another one in London.
    Reply 0
  • HotCoffee 27/03/2014

    Looks like GTA is coming back to London. Reply +67
  • Hotline Miami 1 heading to PS4 as Cross-Buy

  • HotCoffee 24/03/2014

    Sweet. It's a phenomenal game, but it seemed a little low-res on PS3, hopefully PS4 has the horsepower to run an HD version.

    That was a joke
    Reply 0
  • Ken Levine's next won't be a linear narrative

  • HotCoffee 21/03/2014

    No wonder Bioshock Infinite was all over the place. Ken himself had lost faith in the very thing he was trying to achieve with that game.

    I do kind of agree with him though. At the same time, there'll always be a place for linear narrative games too.
    Reply +3
  • Spec Analysis: Project Morpheus

  • HotCoffee 21/03/2014

    As for the performance issue, the solution seems clear. Let's just jump back a generation or two with regards to poly counts and texture sizes. People would accept that jf jt meant that they'd be experiencing something as amazing as Res Evil 4 (Gamecube, remember) in a virtual space.

    I've seen it suggested that they could hit their performance marks on the PS4 with Morpheus by using PS3 games that ran at 60fps already. That means Gran Turismo 5 and 6 standard visuals - in VR. If that's not enough for you, you're impossible to please.

    Only thing that concerns me is the low resolution. Of course, if you increase that, you make performance targets harder to hit. So maybe they're at a sweet spot now.

    Either way, I'm massively excited.
    Reply +6
  • From Software explains changes to Dark Souls 2 graphics

  • HotCoffee 21/03/2014

    Well, the PC version had better live up to the original videos, is all I'll say.

    If not, then someone's been telling porky pies.
    Reply +5
  • Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z review

  • HotCoffee 21/03/2014

    Ninja Gaiden needs to be left fallow for a few years until they come up with a good idea for a reboot. Until then they can make Dead or Alive, which is actually getting better and better and has turned a pretty profit from them. DoA5 Ultimate is fantastic. Reply 0
  • BioShock Infinite's Elizabeth was initially a silent character

  • HotCoffee 21/03/2014

    It makes me cry to think how close all those neckbeards were to being deprived of their waifu. Reply +9
  • inFamous: Second Son review

  • HotCoffee 20/03/2014

    I like the review. The game sounded good from the text, and 7 is supposed to be an above average score. No doubt on other websites that text would mean a 9 at the end, but I like Eurogamer's use of the scale.

    Consider me sold, I'll pick it up tomorrow.
    Reply +3
  • Amazon's set-top box could be a USB dongle - report

  • HotCoffee 18/03/2014

    Welp, Sony, MS and Nintendo can stop worrying about this.

    Shame, I was looking forward to a proper new challenger, but we're still not nearly ready for streaming action games. They'll have to pitch this towards the more casual person.
    Reply 0
  • Watch us complete Metal Gear Solid 5: Ground Zeroes in just 10 minutes

  • HotCoffee 18/03/2014

    @the_dudefather
    Not without ludicrous hax you can't. Different thing entirely.
    Reply +3
  • HotCoffee 18/03/2014

    So Eurogamer gave it a point for every 66 seconds it took to beat the game? Sounds legit. Reply -6
  • This is what Amazon's new gaming controller looks like

  • HotCoffee 14/03/2014

    It looks like someone stuck buttons onto a kitchen hotplate. (You know, one of those things you put a pot on to protect the counter when you take it off the cooker.) Reply +6
  • Tales of Symphonia: Chronicles review

  • HotCoffee 10/03/2014

    @danielstarkey
    Okay, fair enough. Don't mean to pick on you, and the basic structure of your review is good; I simply disagree with your take that it's a good game, and feel like you brushed over major flaws that most people will encounter because of your personal fun with friends. However you experienced what you experienced and you put it down on paper (digital paper anyway) - I can't take that away from you.

    Fair play for coming into the comments and replying, though. Thanks.
    Reply 0
  • HotCoffee 10/03/2014

    @ansionnach
    That was exactly my experience, to a tee.

    And I totally agree that having criticised generic JRPG writing, to go on and state that this one is somehow better than that is just bizarre.

    I do feel like the 'JRPG scale' has changed in recent years though. Most JRPGs don't get away with their typical shite anymore in western reviews. This appears to be an outlier.
    Reply -1
  • HotCoffee 10/03/2014

    @spekkeh
    All reviews are subjective, true, and should be subjective. But there's a line where you make the review as much about yourself and what you put into a game as what the reader might get out of it.

    Look at the logical conclusion to your argument: Me and my brother had hours of fun with Big Rigs Racing because it was so hilariously broken. Is that worth a high score, because our experience was a very positive one? No. There's a line.

    So it's fine for him to mention his co-op adventures. But he should mention how the game is in single player too. That's just informing his readers. The anecdote about his friends voice acting the skits has nothing to do with the quality of the game, and is needlessly personal.

    I thought the balance of the review was all off, and it didn't read anything like a nine. More importantly, it wasn't a good read, and Eurogamer reviews are almost always a good read.
    Reply +5
  • HotCoffee 10/03/2014

    Really strange review. Focuses on co-op when the vast majority of players will be playing it single player, and the author inserts himself into the review too much. 'Sure, some people don't like the lack of voice acting in skits, but me and my friends put on silly voices and acted them ourselves so it was ace!' Hmm, no.

    And then, 'One half of the content on this disk is pure shite, but ignore that and it's totally a 9/10! Buy now!'

    Played this on the Gamecube all those years ago. The battle system is really good, but it's not worth the ridiculous amount of shite RPG melodrama and crap narrative you'll have to sit through, and everyone accepts that the second game is slippery dog poo. Avoid.
    Reply +2
  • Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag GOTY Edition announced

  • HotCoffee 10/03/2014

    Super game, but I saw this coming. So I bought it a couple of days after launch for 55 euros, and sold it a week later for 50.

    Now I wait a year for the 'GOTY' edition to be in the bargain basement bins and in the end I'll have had both the pleasure of playing it at launch and that of owning it all for about 15-20 euros. Pretty pleased with that.
    Reply +1
  • Tales from the Borderlands story, mechanics detailed

  • HotCoffee 10/03/2014

    @Eldritch
    Just the Walking Dead Episode 1. Didn't want to play any more after that and shouldn't have to. I thought it was absolute garbage.
    Reply -5
  • HotCoffee 10/03/2014

    "just in a Telltale kind of way"
    I love that. 'Yeah, the gameplay will be wonky and crap, but that's our style, man! And you like our style, right?'

    Just beat Borderlands 2 last night. The gunplay and loot is the fun part. The hillbilly humour not so much. (Although I do like the fact that it's not a serious game, you can't honestly tell me you find a character like Tiny Tina anything but excruciating.) Looks like this will be all of the bad parts from Borderlands and none of the good.
    Reply -26
  • How 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil is justifying its full-fat price tag

  • HotCoffee 04/03/2014

    In fairness to EA, Fifa WC 2010 was absolutely superb, and possibly their best Fifa ever. That alone has me interested.

    However they'd better have kept the minnows in there. I'll never forget my friend's amazement when he realised that he was in the game having played for a small Caribbean nation in the CONCACAF prelims. They gave him an overall rating of 39, lol.
    Reply +29
  • Ultra Street Fighter 4 just got a lot more interesting

  • HotCoffee 03/03/2014

    SF4, SSF4, SSF4AE, SSF4 AE Ver. 2012 and Ultra Street Fighter 4
    I'm sorry, I don't care how good it was, that's a silly amount of versions of the same game. Ridiculous.
    Reply -17
  • Letter from America: Who makes the best Zelda games?

  • HotCoffee 01/03/2014

    Well, it's not much of an article as the answer is obviously Nintendo EAD under Miyamoto. Under these guys every main Zelda was the odds on favourite for game of the year at the beginning of the year it released, and always lived up to the considerable hype.

    Anouma's Zelda games have ranged from okay to very good, but it's just not the same. SDG3, on the other hand, have been outright poor until A Link Between Worlds. The two DS games were just really, really poor in comparison to what they might have been. LA on the GBC and ALBW on the 3DS just show up how poor those two DS games were in comparison as portable Zeldas, even if they weren't bad games overall.
    Reply +1
  • Win a £400 Sony Entertainment Network voucher

  • HotCoffee 21/02/2014

    There have been some great story based DLCs, probably because once you've bought the main game the developer doesn't need to play it quite so safe. They can actually get pretty wild, and mine's as wild as they come. Recent, too. Phoenix Wright Spoilers ahead.

    In most games, you shoot stuff, typically soldiers, or walk around a lot collecting tat, or take turns wafting magic at a monster just happy to wait there and be wafted at. I get tired of that, now and again. In Turnabout Reclaimed for Phoenix Wright: Dual Destinies, you defend a killer whale against a charge of murder. In court. And it's a singing killer whale, with a punk rock tattoo, just in case the idea of an alleged killer killer whale in court wasn't enough to get your attention.

    I really shouldn't have to go on, but I'll just state that this is as good a case as an Ace Attorney game has ever had. The characters are fantastic; a crowd favourite returns; there are some of the best red herrings AA has ever used; there are angry penguins; the plot makes sense the whole way through and reaches a satisfying conclusion that is, as far as I can tell, a first for the series. And the musical number in which the orca knocks the the captain's hat off his head onto it's own as it jumps over an entire ship while the crowd goes wild? Brilliant.

    PS (MAJOR SPOILERS)
    By the way, the ending that hadn't been done before, unless I'm forgetting something, is that there was actually no murder, it was pretty much a workplace accident.
    Reply -1
  • Diddy Kong confirmed for Smash Bros. Wii U and 3DS

  • HotCoffee 21/02/2014

    Diddy was hilarious in Brawl. I loved his inclusion.

    Then I played as him. Whoops. Dull as hell. I hope they've improved him.
    Reply -1
  • Miyamoto: Nintendo's Year of Luigi continues until 18th March

  • HotCoffee 18/02/2014

    Poor Luigi. They finally give him his own year, and it becomes the worst year for Nintendo in two decades.

    Dude can't catch a break.
    Reply +15