HotCoffee Comments

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  • Pokémon X and Y sales hit 12m copies

  • HotCoffee 07/04/2014

    At roughly 40 dollars a pop, that's half a billion dollars of revenue. If this was a mobile game, this news would be plastered everywhere. But it's not, so...

    There's a reason Nintendo will stick to making their own handhelds for as long as possible.
    Reply +6
  • 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil demo out today

  • HotCoffee 01/04/2014

    Welp, you know you've been playing PS4 for four months when a trailer like this appears to be PS2-era graphics to your next-gen accustomed eyes. Reply +5
  • Diablo 3: Reaper of Souls review

  • HotCoffee 31/03/2014

    Sounds good, but far, far too late.

    Diablo 3 was a phenomenal combat system surrounded by some of the worst meta-mechanics ever put into code. And having experienced that I'm just not willing to go back.
    Reply -2
  • Microsoft: Halo 2 Anniversary multiplayer "would have to be fantastic"

  • HotCoffee 28/03/2014

    Halo is one of the most overrated game franchises of all time, but the multiplayer experiences of Halo 2 and Halo 3 were magnificent. That's the one thing Halo did for the gaming world - a massive leap forward in online multiplayer for consoles. And that's a hell of a thing to be able to say, and one of Microsoft's best gaming achievements. Reply -8
  • UK video game tax breaks approved

  • HotCoffee 27/03/2014

    That's the point. GTA is made in the UK, so all they need to do to get huge tax breaks on a huge project is move the setting to the UK.

    Therefore it legit makes sense to do another one in London.
    Reply 0
  • HotCoffee 27/03/2014

    Looks like GTA is coming back to London. Reply +67
  • Hotline Miami 1 heading to PS4 as Cross-Buy

  • HotCoffee 24/03/2014

    Sweet. It's a phenomenal game, but it seemed a little low-res on PS3, hopefully PS4 has the horsepower to run an HD version.

    That was a joke
    Reply 0
  • Ken Levine's next won't be a linear narrative

  • HotCoffee 21/03/2014

    No wonder Bioshock Infinite was all over the place. Ken himself had lost faith in the very thing he was trying to achieve with that game.

    I do kind of agree with him though. At the same time, there'll always be a place for linear narrative games too.
    Reply +3
  • Spec Analysis: Project Morpheus

  • HotCoffee 21/03/2014

    As for the performance issue, the solution seems clear. Let's just jump back a generation or two with regards to poly counts and texture sizes. People would accept that jf jt meant that they'd be experiencing something as amazing as Res Evil 4 (Gamecube, remember) in a virtual space.

    I've seen it suggested that they could hit their performance marks on the PS4 with Morpheus by using PS3 games that ran at 60fps already. That means Gran Turismo 5 and 6 standard visuals - in VR. If that's not enough for you, you're impossible to please.

    Only thing that concerns me is the low resolution. Of course, if you increase that, you make performance targets harder to hit. So maybe they're at a sweet spot now.

    Either way, I'm massively excited.
    Reply +6
  • From Software explains changes to Dark Souls 2 graphics

  • HotCoffee 21/03/2014

    Well, the PC version had better live up to the original videos, is all I'll say.

    If not, then someone's been telling porky pies.
    Reply +5
  • Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z review

  • HotCoffee 21/03/2014

    Ninja Gaiden needs to be left fallow for a few years until they come up with a good idea for a reboot. Until then they can make Dead or Alive, which is actually getting better and better and has turned a pretty profit from them. DoA5 Ultimate is fantastic. Reply 0
  • BioShock Infinite's Elizabeth was initially a silent character

  • HotCoffee 21/03/2014

    It makes me cry to think how close all those neckbeards were to being deprived of their waifu. Reply +9
  • inFamous: Second Son review

  • HotCoffee 20/03/2014

    I like the review. The game sounded good from the text, and 7 is supposed to be an above average score. No doubt on other websites that text would mean a 9 at the end, but I like Eurogamer's use of the scale.

    Consider me sold, I'll pick it up tomorrow.
    Reply +3
  • Amazon's set-top box could be a USB dongle - report

  • HotCoffee 18/03/2014

    Welp, Sony, MS and Nintendo can stop worrying about this.

    Shame, I was looking forward to a proper new challenger, but we're still not nearly ready for streaming action games. They'll have to pitch this towards the more casual person.
    Reply 0
  • Watch us complete Metal Gear Solid 5: Ground Zeroes in just 10 minutes

  • HotCoffee 18/03/2014

    Not without ludicrous hax you can't. Different thing entirely.
    Reply +4
  • HotCoffee 18/03/2014

    So Eurogamer gave it a point for every 66 seconds it took to beat the game? Sounds legit. Reply -6
  • This is what Amazon's new gaming controller looks like

  • HotCoffee 14/03/2014

    It looks like someone stuck buttons onto a kitchen hotplate. (You know, one of those things you put a pot on to protect the counter when you take it off the cooker.) Reply +6
  • Tales of Symphonia: Chronicles review

  • HotCoffee 10/03/2014

    Okay, fair enough. Don't mean to pick on you, and the basic structure of your review is good; I simply disagree with your take that it's a good game, and feel like you brushed over major flaws that most people will encounter because of your personal fun with friends. However you experienced what you experienced and you put it down on paper (digital paper anyway) - I can't take that away from you.

    Fair play for coming into the comments and replying, though. Thanks.
    Reply 0
  • HotCoffee 10/03/2014

    That was exactly my experience, to a tee.

    And I totally agree that having criticised generic JRPG writing, to go on and state that this one is somehow better than that is just bizarre.

    I do feel like the 'JRPG scale' has changed in recent years though. Most JRPGs don't get away with their typical shite anymore in western reviews. This appears to be an outlier.
    Reply -1
  • HotCoffee 10/03/2014

    All reviews are subjective, true, and should be subjective. But there's a line where you make the review as much about yourself and what you put into a game as what the reader might get out of it.

    Look at the logical conclusion to your argument: Me and my brother had hours of fun with Big Rigs Racing because it was so hilariously broken. Is that worth a high score, because our experience was a very positive one? No. There's a line.

    So it's fine for him to mention his co-op adventures. But he should mention how the game is in single player too. That's just informing his readers. The anecdote about his friends voice acting the skits has nothing to do with the quality of the game, and is needlessly personal.

    I thought the balance of the review was all off, and it didn't read anything like a nine. More importantly, it wasn't a good read, and Eurogamer reviews are almost always a good read.
    Reply +5
  • HotCoffee 10/03/2014

    Really strange review. Focuses on co-op when the vast majority of players will be playing it single player, and the author inserts himself into the review too much. 'Sure, some people don't like the lack of voice acting in skits, but me and my friends put on silly voices and acted them ourselves so it was ace!' Hmm, no.

    And then, 'One half of the content on this disk is pure shite, but ignore that and it's totally a 9/10! Buy now!'

    Played this on the Gamecube all those years ago. The battle system is really good, but it's not worth the ridiculous amount of shite RPG melodrama and crap narrative you'll have to sit through, and everyone accepts that the second game is slippery dog poo. Avoid.
    Reply +1
  • Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag GOTY Edition announced

  • HotCoffee 10/03/2014

    Super game, but I saw this coming. So I bought it a couple of days after launch for 55 euros, and sold it a week later for 50.

    Now I wait a year for the 'GOTY' edition to be in the bargain basement bins and in the end I'll have had both the pleasure of playing it at launch and that of owning it all for about 15-20 euros. Pretty pleased with that.
    Reply +1
  • Tales from the Borderlands story, mechanics detailed

  • HotCoffee 10/03/2014

    Just the Walking Dead Episode 1. Didn't want to play any more after that and shouldn't have to. I thought it was absolute garbage.
    Reply -5
  • HotCoffee 10/03/2014

    "just in a Telltale kind of way"
    I love that. 'Yeah, the gameplay will be wonky and crap, but that's our style, man! And you like our style, right?'

    Just beat Borderlands 2 last night. The gunplay and loot is the fun part. The hillbilly humour not so much. (Although I do like the fact that it's not a serious game, you can't honestly tell me you find a character like Tiny Tina anything but excruciating.) Looks like this will be all of the bad parts from Borderlands and none of the good.
    Reply -26
  • How 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil is justifying its full-fat price tag

  • HotCoffee 04/03/2014

    In fairness to EA, Fifa WC 2010 was absolutely superb, and possibly their best Fifa ever. That alone has me interested.

    However they'd better have kept the minnows in there. I'll never forget my friend's amazement when he realised that he was in the game having played for a small Caribbean nation in the CONCACAF prelims. They gave him an overall rating of 39, lol.
    Reply +30
  • Ultra Street Fighter 4 just got a lot more interesting

  • HotCoffee 03/03/2014

    SF4, SSF4, SSF4AE, SSF4 AE Ver. 2012 and Ultra Street Fighter 4
    I'm sorry, I don't care how good it was, that's a silly amount of versions of the same game. Ridiculous.
    Reply -17
  • Letter from America: Who makes the best Zelda games?

  • HotCoffee 01/03/2014

    Well, it's not much of an article as the answer is obviously Nintendo EAD under Miyamoto. Under these guys every main Zelda was the odds on favourite for game of the year at the beginning of the year it released, and always lived up to the considerable hype.

    Anouma's Zelda games have ranged from okay to very good, but it's just not the same. SDG3, on the other hand, have been outright poor until A Link Between Worlds. The two DS games were just really, really poor in comparison to what they might have been. LA on the GBC and ALBW on the 3DS just show up how poor those two DS games were in comparison as portable Zeldas, even if they weren't bad games overall.
    Reply +1
  • Win a Ł400 Sony Entertainment Network voucher

  • HotCoffee 21/02/2014

    There have been some great story based DLCs, probably because once you've bought the main game the developer doesn't need to play it quite so safe. They can actually get pretty wild, and mine's as wild as they come. Recent, too. Phoenix Wright Spoilers ahead.

    In most games, you shoot stuff, typically soldiers, or walk around a lot collecting tat, or take turns wafting magic at a monster just happy to wait there and be wafted at. I get tired of that, now and again. In Turnabout Reclaimed for Phoenix Wright: Dual Destinies, you defend a killer whale against a charge of murder. In court. And it's a singing killer whale, with a punk rock tattoo, just in case the idea of an alleged killer killer whale in court wasn't enough to get your attention.

    I really shouldn't have to go on, but I'll just state that this is as good a case as an Ace Attorney game has ever had. The characters are fantastic; a crowd favourite returns; there are some of the best red herrings AA has ever used; there are angry penguins; the plot makes sense the whole way through and reaches a satisfying conclusion that is, as far as I can tell, a first for the series. And the musical number in which the orca knocks the the captain's hat off his head onto it's own as it jumps over an entire ship while the crowd goes wild? Brilliant.

    By the way, the ending that hadn't been done before, unless I'm forgetting something, is that there was actually no murder, it was pretty much a workplace accident.
    Reply 0
  • Diddy Kong confirmed for Smash Bros. Wii U and 3DS

  • HotCoffee 21/02/2014

    Diddy was hilarious in Brawl. I loved his inclusion.

    Then I played as him. Whoops. Dull as hell. I hope they've improved him.
    Reply -1
  • Miyamoto: Nintendo's Year of Luigi continues until 18th March

  • HotCoffee 18/02/2014

    Poor Luigi. They finally give him his own year, and it becomes the worst year for Nintendo in two decades.

    Dude can't catch a break.
    Reply +15
  • Final Fantasy 14 helps Square Enix swing back to profit

  • HotCoffee 05/02/2014

    Sometimes the craziest ideas end up working, I guess. Looked like throwing good money after bad at the time.

    Very glad how seriously they took the problem, though. They're right to protect their IP in such a manner, whatever the cost.
    Reply +7
  • Savour the Wii U and Vita - they're our new Dreamcasts

  • HotCoffee 01/02/2014

    The Dreamcast was ahead of its time in so many different ways. It was just too 'arcade-y' and poorly marketed for the playstation generation. There's no confusion over why it still has so many fans - it was a great box full of great tech with chipper industrial design and a ton of great games.

    The Vita is the high-end portable we all dreamed about as kids, just without the games or audience to back it up. Again, it's not surprising why the Vita has so many fans (including myself). It's the perfect portable platform, and allied with PS+ you get a ton of games on the cheap, many of which, like P4G, Wipeout 2048 and Everybody's Golf, are absolutely fantastic.

    The Wii U, on the other hand, is just a disaster. Again, I own one. It's a full generation behind in tech. It has no third party support at all, and what was there was half assed. Nintendo's first party games, while quality, have been a succession of ideas we've seen before, like NSMB, Pikmin, Mario 3D World, DKCR. And in some cases, like 3D World, the game doesn't hit the highs of it's predecessor (Galaxy). It's just a bad machine. As someone who has owned every single Nintendo console, it's the worst they've ever put out if you don't count the Virtual Boy.
    Reply +9
  • Long Live the Queen review

  • HotCoffee 31/01/2014

    Any game that leads to 'a tantrum of uninstallation' surely doesn't deserve a recommendation?

    On the other hand, that fivehead, though. Look at it.
    Reply +1
  • Brilliant Oculus game lets you defuse a bomb nobody else can see

  • HotCoffee 28/01/2014

    The Oculus sounds so fantastic, but I just can't ever see it gaining mainstream traction in the form it's in. And even if it does, that's probably 2-3 years away minimum.

    Here's hoping I'm wrong.
    Reply 0
  • How to score big in Resogun

  • HotCoffee 17/01/2014

    I figured all of this out in an hour - except for the 'killing things quickly' part. That alone made it worthwhile.

    Very good video. Well done.
    Reply 0
  • Nintendo sorry Wii U still lacks TVii feature in Europe

  • HotCoffee 14/01/2014

    If Microsoft have struggled with this stuff, what hope have Nintendo of ever getting it right? None, obviously.

    I don't think there's a single person who bought the WiiU for TV features, though. If they have people working on this rather than increasing their VC output then that's a serious mistake.
    Reply +6
  • Inside Monopoly's secret war against the Third Reich

  • HotCoffee 12/01/2014

    Incredible piece of work.
    Reply +2
  • Most Anticipated: Super Smash Bros.

  • HotCoffee 10/01/2014

    That Zelda render, though... God damn.

    Glad to see them adding more girls/women with the addition of Wii Fit Trainer and Rosalina. Villager will almost certainly have a female alt as well. Now let's get Tetra in there and the women of Nintendo will be well represented.

    No Daisy, though. And absolutely no Krystal, under ANY circumstances.
    Reply +2
  • Nintendo's 3DS region-locking can be circumvented

  • HotCoffee 08/01/2014

    It's absolutely criminal that a handheld is region locked at all. Went to Canada for Christmas, wanted to pick up a game on boxing day... couldn't.

    The bloody thing is MEANT to travel, and then they put these idiot restrictions on it.
    Reply +13
  • Oceanhorn: Monster of the Uncharted Seas review

  • HotCoffee 06/01/2014

    Yes I have all of those things, yes I play them, yes I have a right to give my opinion on them. Next.
    Reply +2
  • HotCoffee 06/01/2014

    People always say 'try this' and 'you haven't given this a chance'.

    But I've played Walking Dead - it's rubbish. Infinity Blade - rubbish. Plants vs Zombies - yes I put time into it on my commute, but it's rubbish. The Square RPGs are better on console and I've already played them. Not looking for ports. I'll try those shooters next, but given the rest of your suggestions I'm not hopeful.
    Reply -1
  • HotCoffee 06/01/2014

    We saw the exact same thing with Facebook gaming, so I don't know how everyone doesn't see it coming with phone gaming.

    So many devs, so few making money. So many apps, so little originality. So many customers, so few willing to pay for quality, or for anything at all.

    The crash is coming, I've no doubt about that.
    Reply +1
  • HotCoffee 06/01/2014

    I have an iPad, the iPod Touch based on the iPhone 5, and a Samsung Galaxy S3.

    I have tried game after game after game for them, and after years (these aren't the first devices I've had) I've only really found one game I properly enjoyed. Super Stickman Golf. The rest seems to be an endless sea of Candy Crush style cash grabs and rubbish endless runners.

    Sorry, I don't have time to keep looking for the diamond in the rough when the diamond may not exist and the rough is 600,000 gaming apps or whatever it is now.
    Reply +1
  • HotCoffee 06/01/2014

    This is held up as one of the best things iOS has to offer at the moment.

    But what is it, really? A bland copy of a console design that falls short of the original, which would play better with buttons and yet doesn't do touch controls as well as the DS Zeldas. Reads far worse than a 7.

    One day phone/tablet gaming will be worthwhile. One day.
    Reply +34
  • Introducing the most anticipated games of 2014

  • HotCoffee 06/01/2014

    It feels weird just typing 'X'. Should I write 'X (WiiU)'? Reply +18
  • Games of 2013: Candy Crush Saga

  • HotCoffee 24/12/2013

    It's popular so it's good! Even though it does a ton of the things we say are a blight on gaming in editorials!

    Bloody awful, EG.
    Reply +20
  • Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze out 21st February

  • HotCoffee 19/12/2013

    Fruity puns make me cranky.
    Reply +1
  • Myth-busting the murky world of video game trade-ins

  • HotCoffee 18/12/2013

    Absolutely brilliant comment. The trade-in practice actively influences game design, and if you're like me and enjoy 10-20 hour single player games without multiplayer tacked on then this is a *bad* thing.

    The only reason TLOU had a multiplayer mode was to keep people trading it back in. Did it improve the game? Not really. Not to me. Did it massively increase the time taken to make the game and development costs, costs eventually passed on to us? Yep.
    Reply +3
  • HotCoffee 18/12/2013

    Also... I sell my games on ebay on the rare occasion I decide to sell a game. I can confirm that you will almost ALWAYS get a better price than game, gamestop or CEX.

    And yes, 'money is leaving the industry' because the bloody slice of profit that the store accepting my trade-in would have taken is now going directly to me. If you have a problem with that - fuck you :)
    Reply +13
  • HotCoffee 18/12/2013

    'Publishers LOVE IT when you trade a game in to a store!
    They just HATE IT when the store sells that game you traded in!'

    I've seen my share of nonsensical arguments in my time but this one is something special.
    Reply +24