HotCoffee Comments

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  • The Switch's special year is set to end as it began, with another 100 hour classic

  • HotCoffee 23/11/2017

    The positive tone of this review is tempered by the fact that the author thought XCX was a good game. I played and beat it, and while it started brightly, it got worse and worse as it went on.

    The first game, however, was pretty much a masterpiece, even if the combat system needed work.

    this is a wilfully complex, frequently obscure RPG that revels in its own depths. Two dozen hours in and the training wheels are still being slowly removed
    Yeah okay, I clearly have different tastes in game design to the author. These two sentences make the game sound utterly horrible.
    Reply 0
  • Pokémon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon review

  • HotCoffee 17/11/2017

    Sun/Moon was already much harder than X/Y. X/Y was the easiest the series has ever been. Some of the Totem pokemon fights in Sun/Moon were already tough in the originals.

    It's definitely more of a Yellow / Crystal / Emerald situation, it's not a full sequel. Read the review, it says that outright in the third paragraph. Everything until near the end of the game is mostly the same.
    Reply -1
  • Until Dawn developer's PSVR psychological horror game The Inpatient has been delayed

  • HotCoffee 10/11/2017

    Makes sense to delay them until after the holiday period once the userbase has grown with christmas purchases and gifts. Reply +12
  • PlayerUnknown offers a closer look at Battlegrounds' new desert map

  • HotCoffee 10/11/2017

    "A final circle here would rock"

    Jesus, Brendan. Hire a writer!
    Reply -7
  • It took Nintendo Switch just six months to hit half the Wii U's lifetime sales

  • HotCoffee 30/10/2017

    3 of the greatest games ever. Splatoon 2 absolutely deserves to be up there.

    Having beaten all the major switch games this year, I think I'd rank them:
    1. Zelda
    2. Splatoon 2
    3. Mario x Rabbids
    4. Mario Odyssey

    but all of them are 10 out of 10s
    Reply +3
  • Nintendo's incredible year continues, but not without a few minor casualties along the way

  • HotCoffee 27/10/2017

    I love absolutely everything about ARMS...

    ..except the gameplay. And that's a problem.
    Reply +5
  • Kinect officially dead

  • HotCoffee 25/10/2017

    It wasn't a terrible idea, they just didn't have the software to make it essential.

    In fact, the above sentence could be used for so much that has gone wrong with Xbox over the years. You can only succeed with software. When MS introduced Halo, Forza and (3rd party) Gears and they were fresh and new, they were riding high. Now that they're in a software quality slump, they're at a low ebb.

    It's not rocket science. Software quality determines everything.
    Reply 0
  • Remembering Super Mario Sunshine

  • HotCoffee 24/10/2017

    Good timing as I've just started playing it again this week - for the first time since the game's launch week, believe it or not. (And on the Wii U, with Nintendont - absolutely fantastic, you must try this)

    I'm 40 shines in, and the highs are as high as I remember them, but the lows? The lows are much lower, and they've taught me that the game's somewhat lesser reputation among Mario games is fully warranted.

    There are levels here that would never get past Nintendo's quality control in most years. The Pachinko level is one of Mario's all time nadirs in any game. The Hotel area is a poorly designed camera nightmare. Toki Bay is fantastic when you're scaling its huge wall, but those underwater sections with the diving kit? Borderline unplayable.

    Worst of all, only 56 of 120 shines are actual unique 'levels'. The others are for collecting blue coins, collecting 100 coins, doing challenges a second time (with red coins added) and so on.There are other issues - Yoshi is shoehorned into the game. The camera really relies on you taking control. The bosses aren't great. The character design is awful.

    But Mario controls wonderfully well, some of the open areas are tremendous fun to platform through, and the game is still utterly gorgeous. It's still worth a play, but it's nowhere near worth a 100% run.
    Reply +3
  • How video game difficulty became a cultural battleground

  • HotCoffee 21/10/2017

    While there are some arseholes out there who are trying to be elitist gatekeepers, the argument I see is mostly this: With some games, the challenge is integral to the experience, and removing the challenge removes the key appeal of the game. Making it so that you do not need skill (or to improve your skill) would neuter the experience of what makes it good, thus robbing the proposed 'expanded' audience of what the experience actually is.

    The argument is further that not all games must appeal to players of all skill ranges. Some games make a market niche for themselves by being all about the challenge - games like Dark Souls or Super Meat Boy. And that's alright, and cries that such games are 'exclusionary' or 'elitist' and should add difficulty options are, to me, way off-base.

    Their critics argue that reviewers should be, not insightful thinkers, but principally brilliant players. It's not an entirely unrealisable demand: a book reviewer who is unable to make it to the end of all but the most simply written book is clearly in the wrong job.
    The second sentence here betrays the first. Again, assuming the person criticising the reviewer is speaking in good faith and not a troll, the argument is not about being a 'brilliant' player, but about basic game literacy. In order to judge how well game mechanics work together to form a cohesive gameplay experience, you must be able to navigate said game mechanics to at least some minimal level. As we've seen recently with journalists posting videos on Doom and Cuphead, that's sometimes not the case.

    A game studio might spend years improving their enemy AI, working on beautiful levels that are correctly paced, and on a gun feedback. When the reviewer can't even control the camera correctly, he is unable to appreciate their work in the way that the intended audience would be (and will be) and as such his review is largely useless to everyone and even unfair on the game designers. I will say, though, that this isn't some huge problem - 99% of reviewers know exactly what they're doing.
    Reply +44
  • Cuphead has sold over 1 million copies in the two weeks since it launched

  • HotCoffee 13/10/2017

    What's the matter, little fella?
    Bad at video games?
    Reply -10
  • Gran Turismo Sport fixes the series' racing - but at what cost?

  • HotCoffee 12/10/2017

    It says 'the fictional Lake Maggiore circuit', which is perfectly accurate as there is no such circuit in real life.

    I've been to Lake Maggiore, by the way. Was there for a wedding. Absolutely stunning, I recommend it.
    Reply +26
  • Fire Emblem Warriors is a surprisingly good Fire Emblem game

  • HotCoffee 10/10/2017

    I played Hyrule Warriors and loved the campaign.

    But strangely, the more I played the game (adventure mode) the more I realised that my initial impressions of the series had actually been correct - it's a timesink grindfest where you feel less like an epic warrior defeating his enemies and more like a gardener sweeping up leaves that keep blowing back into the garden.

    I'd love one of these games with better level design and no levelling or grinding systems, but unfortunately I fear those systems are the point of the series.
    Reply +1
  • Here's what The Witcher 3 looks like at 4K on PS4 Pro

  • HotCoffee 05/10/2017

    So this be The Witchman 3 in 4k?

    Bah, I've picked more interesting things from me nose.
    Reply -4
  • Golf Story review

  • HotCoffee 28/09/2017

    Astonishingly good subheading, there. If not your best ever, it's at least in the top fore. Reply +11
  • Sonic Forces will let you play as Shadow the Hedgehog

  • HotCoffee 19/09/2017

    Anyone who hates Shadow hasn't read Tails Gets Trolled.

    Read that and you'll realise he's not just the best Sonic character, but one of the best in all of gaming.
    Reply -1
  • Everybody's Golf review

  • HotCoffee 31/08/2017

    The on-course action is excellent, but a bunch of unpleasant grinding mechanics have been introduced to support pay-to-win microtransactions and I really, really can't support that.

    Welp, I've already bought the game, but it's disappointing. As are the visuals for a PS4 game - the charm of the characters from previous games has been lost here.
    Reply -1
  • Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney settles on Nintendo 3DS this November

  • HotCoffee 09/08/2017

    On the one hand, it's the weakest Ace Attorney game. Apollo never truly finds his feet as a unique character until the recent Spirit of Justice game where he's fantastic. The prosecutor is lame, the overarching story isn't that interesting, and Phoenix's story feels like fanfic. It also has the most annoying case in the series involving THAT. EFFING. SONG.

    On the other hand, it has Trucy and Ema in the same game, and the noodle case is a lot of lighthearted fun. So it's not all bad.
    Reply +1
  • If you pre-order PES 2018 you get Usain Bolt

  • HotCoffee 02/08/2017

    You fuckers, now I'll have that in my head for the rest of the day. Should be a crime! Reply +9
  • Is the New 2DS XL Nintendo's last dedicated handheld?

  • HotCoffee 02/08/2017

    The reflection in the New 2ds looks like some block-headed cartoon character gurning at someone. Reply 0
  • Alien: Isolation modder adds VR support

  • HotCoffee 01/08/2017

    VR Alien Isolation is probably the only game I won't ever play not because it might be bad, but because it might be too good. Reply +28
  • Hey! Pikmin fails to set UK chart on fire

  • HotCoffee 31/07/2017

    Metroid Prime: Federation Force; Zelda Triforce Heroes; Hey! Pikmin...

    When are Nintendo going to learn that fans of a franchise want games in the style of gameplay that they like, and NOT spin-offs? Spin-offs have worked for Mario. That's because he's the biggest star in all of gaming, a man for all seasons. They just don't work for other franchises.
    Reply +2
  • Watch: 8 times stealth made us want to eat our own hands

  • HotCoffee 10/07/2017

    I see the people in the video and commenters here have never played Gravity Rush 2.

    Worst offender of the last 10 years by a country mile.
    Reply +1
  • PES 2018 is definitely not coming to Switch

  • HotCoffee 23/06/2017

    Konami isn't flush with money like EA is so they couldn't really afford to gamble on a Switch port.

    Now that it's clear that the device is successful - especially in Japan - I think we'll see PES 2019 there. Just the wrong timing for the development of this one.

    Sales of Fifa will play a big part, though. If EA can't get people to buy Fifa Konami will assume they've no hope of selling PES.
    Reply +14
  • Ubisoft reveals new pirate game Skull & Bones

  • HotCoffee 12/06/2017

    Looks awesome. Everyone said 'make the ship combat from Black Flag its own game dammit' and Ubisoft said 'Let's do it'.

    Love it.
    Reply +13
  • WipEout series claims first ever UK chart top spot with Omega Collection

  • HotCoffee 12/06/2017

    I've put 10 hours into Wipeout already - it would be amazing at full price, at 35 euros it's absolutely essential.

    Now for a Motorstorm series remaster in the same vein, please...
    Reply 0
  • Nintendo Switch wired headset looks like a right faff

  • HotCoffee 01/06/2017

    There is absolutely no excuse for having to use your phone. Why not just use Discord or some other app at that stage? Functionally, having to use your phone is no different as if Nintendo hadn't bothered to do voice chat at all.

    The question is simple... why? Why do it like this?

    Vita is a handheld, and it had proper voice chat 5 and a half years ago.
    Reply +118
  • Archie Comics nearly made a Metroid series

  • HotCoffee 31/05/2017

    I like the fact that he used the Metroid Prime Varia Suit for every pose barring the main one. It was probably based on Other M, but he wanted to inject some actual quality in there too. Reply 0
  • Shantae: Half-Genie Hero is coming to Switch next week

  • HotCoffee 30/05/2017

    Half-genie Hero is not a bad game by any means, but if you have the chance to play Shantae and the Pirate's Curse instead, do so. Pirate's Curse is fantastic, and by far the best game in the series. Reply +9
  • The past, present and future of Fire Emblem

  • HotCoffee 30/05/2017

    Echoes is so much better than Fates it's unreal, which really shows you that they lost their way after the success of Awakening. The gameplay became overcomplicated, the writing was dire, the art silly and exaggerated, the sense of world-building lost.

    The fact that a remake forced them to strip things down to what they used to be was the biggest blessing in disguise possible. I only hope they learn from this for the Switch version of the game but seeing the current 'Bridal Heroes' event in FE Heroes I suspect we'll get Waifu Emblem 3.
    Reply +3
  • Mario Kart 8 Deluxe review

  • HotCoffee 21/04/2017

    "There was some debate when it originally came out about whether Mario Kart 8 was the best in the series "

    There really wasn't. Game was acclaimed as an utter masterpiece from day 1.

    Great review though.
    Reply -1
  • Nintendo finally unveils the last Smash Bros. amiibo

  • HotCoffee 13/04/2017

    Not the last. When the switch version comes out with two/three new characters we'll get amiibos for those. And when that version gets character DLC we'll get amiibo for those, too.

    They'd be crazy not to milk it like this, so that's exactly what they'll do.
    Reply +4
  • Why Dwarf Fortress started killing cats

  • HotCoffee 13/04/2017

    Man, I'd love to read about this. Anyone got a link to any text stories about this?

    I don't do videos.
    Reply +14
  • Zelda player builds flying contraption, glides across entire map

  • HotCoffee 05/04/2017

    This is incredible. The amount of systems that work together to allow you to do this... amazing.

    And then to top it off the temperature gets slowly colder as he ascends... the impression of being in a real world where everything has been though of is intense.

    Game of the year, easily.
    Reply +30
  • Yooka-Laylee includes its own DK Rap

  • HotCoffee 01/04/2017

    That was absolutely awful. Reply +23
  • Meeting Andrzej Sapkowski, the writer who created The Witcher

  • HotCoffee 24/03/2017

    These days fantasy fans are considered to be thorough and highly skilled masturbators.

    We've come a long way. (Pun intended)
    Reply +16
  • How Zelda and Horizon fix open worlds in very different ways

  • HotCoffee 22/03/2017

    Horizon is a good game, but it IS highly derivative, and lauding it for doing anything new feels wrong in my books. Also, Aloy isn't lauded? Sure, she's 'supposed' to be treated like an outcast, but at every turn every single NPC will tell her how amazing she is. Sure, sometimes that's said begrudgingly, but the hero worship is absolutely present there, pretty much 100% of the time.

    Zelda, on the other hand, is just a masterpiece from top to bottom and one of the best games I've ever played.

    That said, I expected Zelda to be unbelievable given Nintendo's pedigree. I didn't expect much from Guerilla games after Shadow Fall, so they're the ones who really over-delivered on my expectations, and now I'm excited to see what they can do next - a similar leap in quality would make Horizon 2 something very special indeed.
    Reply -3
  • How the GTA Hot Coffee scandal changed age ratings forever

  • HotCoffee 02/03/2017

    Can't believe I was late to this article...

    If ever I deserved a first post it was here. Too busy playing Zelda, though, so I'll live!
    Reply +11
  • The voice behind The Witcher

  • HotCoffee 27/01/2017

    Top class article. Pieces like this are why EG is a cut above.

    This guy comes across as a lovely guy too. He's well aware that voice acting is only one of the things that makes a game great, but he does that one thing as well as he can - and he was a fantastic Geralt. Well done Doug, hope plenty of work comes to you this year.
    Reply +7
  • This iPhone and iPad controller looks a lot like a Switch

  • HotCoffee 24/01/2017

    Poor man's Switch?

    More like destitute man's Switch.

    More like No Man's Switch.
    Reply +2
  • Google Pixel review

  • HotCoffee 21/01/2017

    RIP Nexus line. You were too good for this sinful earth. Reply +3
  • Switch clicks in the hands, but on paper, it's in trouble

  • HotCoffee 13/01/2017

    But, given what we've learned today about Switch, it looks increasingly likely that it will be the last of its line.
    Wow... tell us how you really feel.

    I love Eurogamer for giving it to us straight, this is a brilliantly written and fair opinion piece.
    Reply +43
  • Pokémon Sun and Moon players fail second global event

  • HotCoffee 10/01/2017

    This isn't Nintendo - they're really good at easy-to-use online features these days.

    This is Game Freak, and they, sadly, are not.
    Reply +2
  • HotCoffee 10/01/2017

    Pokemon X/Y did a whole load of things better. I'm really surprised it's so disliked by the Pokemon community. I loved those games.

    Sun / Moon - while having a lot of great features and being a rock-solid game - was linear, cutscene-stuffed and treacle-slow by comparison.

    The one place Sun / Moon improved upon X/Y hugely was in challenge, and to be fair that's a big deal. And the less said about Lumiose City in X/Y the better.
    Reply +2
  • HotCoffee 10/01/2017

    It's because the way they have you register for these events is absolutely god-awful.

    In fact, the whole Festival Plaza is terrible and a huge step back from the PSS in X/Y.

    Game Freak deserve this failure - I'm just glad it happened as it's showing them how few people use or understand these kinds of arcane online features. Even Island Scan itself is strange and kind of annoying to use.
    Reply +33
  • Gravity Rush 2 review

  • HotCoffee 10/01/2017

    "the design team offers the most gentle of iterations"

    "the missions, while mixing things up energetically, still struggle to raise themselves above a muddle of checkpoint-following, combat, boss fights and - at their worst - poorly-implemented stealth"

    Yeah, I was afraid that was the case from the demo. Loved the first one but as a Vita game, and with the acceptance that it had a ton of flaws. As a full-fat PS4 game I'm afraid I have to give this one a miss.
    Reply +1
  • Watch: Do Pokémon Sun and Moon prove a 20-year-old Pokéfan theory once and for all?

  • HotCoffee 07/12/2016

    99% of theories are stupid jumping to conclusions. Others are so obvious that I'm surprised not everyone accepts them as true.

    This is the latter. Everything about their designs and pokedex entries suggests that Cubone and Kangaskhan are linked. Sun/Moon is just the latest indicator.
    Reply +1
  • Final Fantasy 15 guide, walkthrough and tips for the open-world's many quests and activities

  • HotCoffee 02/12/2016

    Chapters 10, 11, 12 were my favourites. The open world stuff fell totally flat for me due to the enormous scale of the world and difficulty in getting around. Reply +4
  • What I think after five hours of Resident Evil 7

  • HotCoffee 30/11/2016

    Not knowing what's in the next room, for example, being a little bit scared when opening a door, knowing that I'm pretty sure there's a jump scare ahead but I don't want to take a step forward, having a lack of ammo, figuring out, when am I going to use this, how do I optimise this, trying to figure out item management; we definitely had a huge list of things that we had to figure out how to prioritise.
    Thank god, he gets it.
    Reply +25
  • Final Fantasy 15 review

  • HotCoffee 28/11/2016

    While I agree in general, writing a story where the major beats don't happen in spin-off movies isn't hard. Avoid a situation where 'Nothing of note plays out in front of you for most of the game' isn't hard.

    I'm not asking for Witcher 3 here, just basic competence after 10 years of time to plot things out correctly.
    Reply +18
  • HotCoffee 28/11/2016

    For a series universally known and loved for its emphasis on storytelling, can I recommend a Final Fantasy game despite its unsatisfying story? Instinctively I'd say no
    Can't believe they screwed up the story. It's the selling point of the series. How do they botch this after 10 years? It's just writing...

    God damn it Squeenix.
    Reply +1