HotCoffee Comments

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  • Pokémon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire review

  • HotCoffee 27/11/2014

    Last year's Pokémon X and Y absolutely floored me with how emotive and biting its characters and plot were.
    I love Pokemon X to pieces. Was one of my GOTYs last year. But I couldn't take the review seriously after this line. As close to 'wrong' as an opinion can be. Pokemon is one hundred great things. Well written, emotional, story-driven and 'biting' are not among them.
    Reply +7
  • Catastrophe games: How Spelunky and XCOM helped prepare me for an incurable illness

  • HotCoffee 26/11/2014

    Brave man, brilliant piece. All the best, Christian. Stay strong. Reply +4
  • Assassin's Creed: Unity launch debacle sparks Ubisoft rethink

  • HotCoffee 13/11/2014

    Watch Dogs (sorry - Watch_Dogs), Dark Souls 2 (the downgrade), Driveclub, AC: Unity, The Master Chief Collection, Sonic Boom...

    2014 is a fucking hideous year for big-brand games working correctly and honesty in advertising. Glad I own a Wii U as well, or it would be the worst year of gaming ever.
    Reply +37
  • Video: See how Mario Kart 8's new Rainbow Road compares to the SNES original

  • HotCoffee 13/11/2014

    Only weak track in the new DLC, imo. Well, Excitebike's a bit gimmicky, but it's still fun.

    The whole point of Rainbow Road SNES is 'don't fall off'. When it's widened to this extent, it's just a bland, flat track. Add to that the fact that we already have two fantastic Rainbow Road's already and this one comes across as a bit of a dud.

    No matter, though - the rest of the DLC is stunning, and well worth your time and money.
    Reply +5
  • The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth review

  • HotCoffee 12/11/2014

    Absolutely shocked at this review. Have played it and beat it a few times on PS+ and thought it was absolutely terrible. As in, one of the worst games I've played all year terrible.

    The review doesn't cover anything regarding the mechanics of how Isaac controls, the basic level design issues of the game, the repetitive room designs, the poor music and weak sound effects... what the hell? The review is far more concerned with discussing the game as a piece of art, as a 'work' of a person with an unfortunate childhood, than as a game that might be fun to play. Which, unfortunately, it isn't.

    EDIT: Shit, I wrote all that when I could have just liked Fabio's commented two places above mine. Whoops. Well said Fabio.
    Reply -7
  • Assassin's Creed Unity review

  • HotCoffee 11/11/2014

    Shame. Black Flag was bloody great. Some of the videos make the game seem like a real technical mess, too. No mention of that here? Strange. Reply +15
  • Blizzard reveals Overwatch, a team-based competitive first-person shooter

  • HotCoffee 07/11/2014

    "First new IP in 17 years."

    Sounds about average for the major players in the gaming industry, no?
    Reply +39
  • Majora's Mask comparison video shows off 3DS enhancements

  • HotCoffee 07/11/2014

    The reason OoT 3D was so good is that it was exactly how you remembered it... except that it actually wasn't. They'd tricked you by being so faithful to the source material in their upgrades.

    With the 'new' moon and some brightening of really dark scenes I'm worried that they aren't achieving the same thing here. Majora's Mask is a dark, creepy game. It needs to stay that way. The new moon is far less subtle than the old one, and I don't like it. The old one looked like a face had been carved into an actual moon. This one looks like a gigantic head in space.
    Reply +4
  • PlayStation 4 sales help Sony's game division to profit

  • HotCoffee 31/10/2014

    PS4 is on 13.5 million sold already. That's a Wii-like pace.

    While this is cause for celebration, the PSN issues, Driveclub fiasco, poor exclusives and lack of OS updates has me just a little concerned about the PS4's direction. I know times are rough, but Sony needs to keep on investing in its infrastructure. As for games, they'll come. Next year looks spectacular, starting with Bloodborne.
    Reply +37
  • Dead or Alive 5: Last Round release date announced

  • HotCoffee 23/10/2014

    @squarewindow
    Super comment.

    DoA5 is an excellent game, and the F2P model they've come up with is the best in the industry. Their free upgrade to everyone who bought the last one is awesome, too. Team Ninja have really done right by the fans throughout the whole lifetime of DoA5, and I'll be sure to keep supporting them because of it.

    I do wish they didn't have to support the game with a succession of lazy 'kinky' costumes for the girls, but it's the lesser of two evils. It's also a bloody fantastic fighting game.
    Reply +5
  • Sony "temporarily holding back" DriveClub's free PlayStation Plus edition

  • HotCoffee 08/10/2014

    I like the way the apology was delivered on a guy's Facebook. If you're gonna go with the whole 'social network hash fucking tag' theme for your game, own it. Reply +11
  • World of Warcraft is adding an option to restore deleted characters

  • HotCoffee 25/09/2014

    I imagine all of those people who took the step of deleting a character did so to kick game addiction. Otherwise you'd just let your sub lapse.

    And here comes Blizzard, back on the corner, offering 'just a little taste, for old time's sake, won't cost you a dime'.

    Literal drug dealers.
    Reply +32
  • Trials Fusion: Welcome to the Abyss expansion release date

  • HotCoffee 25/09/2014

    Welcome to the Abyss
    Man, Machine, The Abyss!
    Reply +2
  • Nintendo celebrates 125th birthday today

  • HotCoffee 23/09/2014

    @Lukree
    Wow, there's a blast from the past. That was my very first video game. LoZ on the NES was my second, I believe.

    Thanks for posting that.
    Reply +4
  • Sony quadruples forecast loss for financial year

  • HotCoffee 17/09/2014

    Sony are in all sorts of very serious bother, but no matter what happens to them the Playstation side of their business has value and therefore will survive. Hopefully it's with Sony and not sold to someone else like Samsung or Amazon in bankruptcy. :( Reply +10
  • Destiny review

  • HotCoffee 17/09/2014

    I'm surprised at that review and that score. Although the 8 is fully justified by the text, it's the text I don't particularly agree with. Destiny falls short at almost everything it attempts, bar the core mechanics of shooting.

    As a single player game it fails because there is no interesting context to the action, no story, no interesting missions or set-pieces etc. Fine, you say, it's not supposed to be a single player game. You can't really play it that way, anyway.

    But those flaws also apply to it as a co-op shooter, only magnified because of the poor social elements. The fact that many of the modes of the game do not allow matchmaking is bizarre, and will leave many players trudging through the first two hours lost, alone and bored. And there's more to a shooter than the mechanics of shooting. What happens on the other end of the gun is important, and the encounter design is poor, along with really shoddy and unresponsive AI.

    As a competitive shooter, it doesn't match up to the old Halos whatsoever.

    So what's it good at? What's the point? I can't figure it out. If I want to play single player, co-op or competitive FPS there are better options for all of them. I suppose most of them don't offer the dopamine hit of a 'loot system' and it is that and apparently that alone that seems to have hooked so many people, including the author.

    A disappointment.
    Reply +37
  • Planetary Annihilation review

  • HotCoffee 16/09/2014

    @DrStrangelove
    Hahaha, you cheeky bugger.
    I feel it too, though. It must be destiny.

    As for this game, it looks interesting, and let's be fair, we need more RTS's. What the hell happened to this wonderful genre?
    Reply +7
  • Destiny thrills, but the big picture rings hollow

  • HotCoffee 10/09/2014

    This preview is EXACTLY what I would have written post-beta, were I a Eurogamer writer. Well done.

    Shame the game is a disappointment, but fair play to Bungie for letting us try before we buy. I would have wasted my money otherwise.
    Reply +5
  • Assassin's Creed Rogue trailer reveals a returning character

  • HotCoffee 05/09/2014

    That first picture caption: outstanding. Reply +3
  • Mortal Kombat X release date set for April

  • HotCoffee 05/09/2014

    Goro, a series mainstay, is a fucking preorder bonus? Fuck off MK, and fuck off with this preorder shit.

    Can we all just stop preordering things, all at once, as a society? You gain NOTHING from it. (Except content that would be on there in the first place if preordering didn't exist.)
    Reply +65
  • Building a better Mega Man

  • HotCoffee 04/09/2014

    It looks terrible, and EG nailed why:

    More troubling is the control, which feels distractingly soft and sluggish. ... Coupled with level design that is fairly rote and uninspired...
    There's a difference between bringing something cool back and making it better and a shameless nostalgic cash-grab. This falls on the wrong side of the line for me. No thanks.
    Reply +7
  • Everybody's Golf coming to PS4

  • HotCoffee 01/09/2014

    With Everybody's Golf, DoA5 on PS4 and Persona 5 PS4 that's my three favourite playstation games coming to PS4, I'm delighted.

    Now I just need to finally get that damn platinum on EG for PS3. Finally got an albatross (so hard!) and now I just need to beat the superstorm tournament. It's pretty much a flawless game, everyone should play it.
    Reply +3
  • The worst games I've ever played, by Ellie Gibson

  • HotCoffee 28/08/2014

    Ellie Gibson: Not the most prolific EG writer, and probably not the best reviewer, but definitely the funniest, and without doubt the least pretentious.

    Despite your terrible rating of that awesome DoA game you will be missed.
    Reply 0
  • The Last of Us review

  • HotCoffee 31/07/2014

    It's excellent but I do think a lot of criticism of the game is handwaved to a silly extent by ND and Sony fans. It's to the point where any negative opinion on the game is almost viewed as trolling, which can never be right. I mean, as the review says, Ellie is too blithe to convince and the ending, while clever, is very jarring and unsatisfying.

    Not enough attention is paid to the gameplay, either, which I felt was very good. Gunplay is weighty and avoiding clickers takes patience and thought, and there's a huge sense of tension to it. It's fun.

    Is it a 9? Is it a 10? Not sure but I'm not gonna disagree with EG on this one.
    Reply +4
  • New Hyrule Warriors trailer shows off its expansive cast

  • HotCoffee 26/07/2014

    Looks more amazing with every video. However I can't help but feel that since a large part of the appeal of this game is Zelda fanservice that Nintendo might just be ruining the game with these videos at this stage. I would have been fucking blown away to find out all the stuff that's in there if I just bought it, instead I found out online. I get that they need to sell the damn thing, but still...

    Also, lol at the fact that you gave Ruto her 'princess' honorific but failed to do the same for Zelda. Someone at EG has a taste for fish, no?
    Reply +9
  • Mario Kart 8 Japanese ad embraces Luigi's death stare

  • HotCoffee 22/07/2014

    Best looking game I've ever played. Achieves the look it wants to 100%, unlike something like Infamous: SS which looks brilliant but could still be improved in a host of ways. Reply -1
  • The best games of 2014 are actually from 2013 - and that's okay

  • HotCoffee 12/07/2014

    I want new games as much as anyone, but I'll just say that I wouldn't cry if we got Mario Galaxy in HD.

    Think about it, Nintendo.
    Reply +10
  • Suda 51 defends Killer is Dead's controversial "Gigolo Mode"

  • HotCoffee 04/07/2014

    I usually hate the SJW bullshit, but here it's appropriate as this game mode is prima facie nuts, as opposed to people rooting around in subtext for something to be upset by.

    And Suda's reaction is fucking priceless, it's like a child's. He says
    a) Hey man, not my fault, boss told me to put it in, they're like, perverts and shit;
    b) I made it tough to bribe the women for sex, it only works like 95% of the time instead of 100%;
    c) If you'd even fuckin played it you'd know that noob

    I'm being facetious with my paraphrasing there, but my word he doesn't come across well.
    Reply -1
  • Editor's blog: I am sexist

  • HotCoffee 19/06/2014

    @linea
    No-one wants 'brainless videogame coverage without any kind of critical bent'. We just want the intelligent, critical writing to focus on the art of making the games rather than social context and issues of social justice.
    Reply +1
  • HotCoffee 19/06/2014

    Been coming here daily for almost as long as Tom has been writing here, in my case 9 years.

    If this kind of content becomes a feature, I am afraid I will quickly stop visiting entirely. I did the same with Kotaku years ago.

    There is merit to this kind of discussion, but it's not why I visit this site or play video games. This is my escape from my normal life. My escape from deep thinking, from feeling guilt or doubt, from uncertainty. When you write articles like this you basically pierce that bubble that is the entire reason I game. I have conversations like this about sexism with friends. I deal with sexism and racism related issues at work. I have no problem interfacing with this kind of discussion. Just not in gaming, which is my escape from all difficult issues.

    Tom thinks this is important to say, because gaming is his job, and thus entwined with his life. For most of us this is just a couple of minutes a day. And we don't want to deal with this stuff is those few moments of free time. Understand your readers, Tom. They're not in the same situation you are.

    I eagerly await to see what happens to this site.
    Reply +6
  • First Mortal Kombat X gameplay footage

  • HotCoffee 10/06/2014

    ...
    That's a cross-gen game, all right.
    Reply -2
  • Amazon lists next-gen Mortal Kombat 10

  • HotCoffee 02/06/2014

    I'm not typically this shallow alright I am, but they really have to do something about the manfaces on the women in the next one.

    I'm not saying pretty them up, just make them look recognizably female without having to look at the massively exposed cleavage.

    But yeah, I'm hyped. Let's hope they go with a new story and new characters (in addition to MK9's excellent roster) rather than bringing back the terrible MK4 and Deadly Alliance ones.
    Reply +12
  • Pikmin 3 adds new stylus control option

  • HotCoffee 31/05/2014

    @markusveralius
    It works through Club Nintendo. If your country doesn't have Club Nintendo, you may be out of luck. If it does, sign up before you buy the game. Once signed up you should be able to see if the offer is available. It's important to sign up first especially if you buy digitally as it's auto-registered to your Club Nintendo account in that case.

    Make sure that the country your Wii U is registered to and the country you sign up to Club Nintendo in are one and the same, or you'll get a code that won't work.
    Reply +6
  • HotCoffee 31/05/2014

    Pikmin 3 is magical. So is Mario Kart 8. They're the two best games for the Wii U so if you have neither this deal is just incredible.

    I already had Pikmin, so I got New Super Mario Bros U for free instead. Surprise, surprise - it's shit. Bloody 'New' series, such a pile of donkey shit.

    Anyway, nice to see them updating Pikmin. Was looking forward to a summer replay of it anyway.
    Reply -13
  • Eurogamer readership survey 2014

  • HotCoffee 19/05/2014

    Terrible survey. Clearly based more on selling us stuff than improving the service.

    Also, things like 'How many DVDs did you buy last year' had their lowest amount at '0-5'. There's a huge difference between someone like me who never buys one and someone who might buy a couple.

    Not being able to select 'I don't want it, I don't like it' for the XB1 was poor as well.

    As for the site itself, I don't like video content but if you're going down that road then there's three good options:
    1. More DF content - they are excellent.
    2. Sit-down, serious interviews with devs, can be about the making of an old game or stories of the industry or whatever. Not advertising a new game, actual interviews because these people are interesting and matter.
    3. Walkthoughs; tips and tricks etc. Useful things.

    Just not 'two people talk into a camera while playing a game and ZOMG so wacky fun time!' Anything like that and I leave.

    Also, while there are legit social justice issues to be tackled in games, that's not why I come here. Left Kotaku and other sites when that stuff was introduced and I'd leave here as well if it happened here. News and reviews, please.
    Reply +3
  • Upcoming Super Smash Bros. to include playable female Animal Crossing villagers

  • HotCoffee 17/05/2014

    Total misuse of the Bechdel test there, EG. That test is for books or film and requires two female characters to have a discussion about something not concerning a man. As no one in Smash Bros ever does anything but beat the shit out of each other, the test couldn't be less relevant.

    EDIT: Also, Sheik is a man both in appearance and 'downstairs', so 'she' doesn't count. It's magic, baby.
    Reply +11
  • Americlap is the most intentionally stupid, monotonous game since Desert Bus

  • HotCoffee 17/05/2014

    No one has posted the originating video of the americlap meme yet? It's really quite something.



    The word has been around for about 3 years, I'd say.
    Reply +3
  • Mario Kart 8 review

  • HotCoffee 15/05/2014

    It looked like a 10/10 months ago, didn't it?

    Delighted.
    Reply +41
  • Microsoft to sell Xbox One without Kinect for Ł349

  • HotCoffee 13/05/2014

    'But it's impossible, the OS won't function without it!'

    Ding dong, the witch is dead. There was a time when MS was a force for good in the industry. A time of the original Xbox and the first years of 360.

    With Phil Spencer at the helm, perhaps that time will come once again.
    Reply +148
  • Nintendo refuses to allow same-sex relationships in Tomodachi Life

  • HotCoffee 08/05/2014

    I'm all for gay marriage and it would have been nice to have it in, but its omission isn't bigotry or hatred. Not all products have to cater to all people, and Nintendo have always been extremely conservative about making any waves at all in this area (sex and relationships; gender etc). They wouldn't even show Link and Zelda bloody kissing in the last Zelda, preferring to cut away. Even a bog-standard hetero kiss is a bit risque for them. Considering that attitude this isn't surprising at all. Reply +86
  • Madden NFL 15 touches down in August

  • HotCoffee 28/04/2014

    Madden is the beginning and end of all arguments regarding whether or not exclusive licenses are ever a good thing.

    They take junior programmers, pay them peanuts to upgrade the old engine in the most minor ways, update the rosters and that's it. It's fucking pathetic. NFL 2K5 is still a better game, almost a decade later. In no other genre is there a case where the best game is clearly a ten year old one.

    Fuck Madden NFL. As an NFL fan who wants a good NFL game more than anything, fuck it to hell.
    Reply +7
  • Samsung Galaxy S5 review

  • HotCoffee 27/04/2014

    it's impossible to ignore that everywhere you look there is needless duplication of functionality
    Drives me crazy on my S3, and it's the one reason I'd think about going Apple if I could - the system is just more cohesive.

    Still, I've tried the S5 at Samsung's launch event in London and it's pretty nice. Worth the price? Probably not, and I'm not sure where the top phone makers can go from here to justify what they charge. But no one who gets one will be disappointing. If I had the money my choice would be the HTC One M8, but these phones are all pretty close at the moment.
    Reply +11
  • Super Mario Land retrospective

  • HotCoffee 27/04/2014

    Even as a very small child i thought it crossed that odd line between 'being inventive with the ideas of series x' and 'no longer actually being a proper game from series x'.

    Not a bad game, but not a particularly good one, and only barely a mario game.
    Reply -15
  • Mario Golf: World Tour review

  • HotCoffee 24/04/2014

    I'll be buying this for sure and was a Toadstool Tour fanatic, but on the basis of the demo alone it's a long way behind the last Everybody's Golf.

    That's not a bad criticism - Everybody's Golf is one of the best video games around. But I wonder how long Mario Golf will last with me when I have EG always at my fingertips.
    Reply +2
  • Pokémon X and Y sales hit 12m copies

  • HotCoffee 07/04/2014

    At roughly 40 dollars a pop, that's half a billion dollars of revenue. If this was a mobile game, this news would be plastered everywhere. But it's not, so...

    There's a reason Nintendo will stick to making their own handhelds for as long as possible.
    Reply +6
  • 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil demo out today

  • HotCoffee 01/04/2014

    Welp, you know you've been playing PS4 for four months when a trailer like this appears to be PS2-era graphics to your next-gen accustomed eyes. Reply +5
  • Diablo 3: Reaper of Souls review

  • HotCoffee 31/03/2014

    Sounds good, but far, far too late.

    Diablo 3 was a phenomenal combat system surrounded by some of the worst meta-mechanics ever put into code. And having experienced that I'm just not willing to go back.
    Reply -2
  • Microsoft: Halo 2 Anniversary multiplayer "would have to be fantastic"

  • HotCoffee 28/03/2014

    Halo is one of the most overrated game franchises of all time, but the multiplayer experiences of Halo 2 and Halo 3 were magnificent. That's the one thing Halo did for the gaming world - a massive leap forward in online multiplayer for consoles. And that's a hell of a thing to be able to say, and one of Microsoft's best gaming achievements. Reply -7
  • UK video game tax breaks approved

  • HotCoffee 27/03/2014

    @MonkayMajic
    That's the point. GTA is made in the UK, so all they need to do to get huge tax breaks on a huge project is move the setting to the UK.

    Therefore it legit makes sense to do another one in London.
    Reply 0
  • HotCoffee 27/03/2014

    Looks like GTA is coming back to London. Reply +67