Depression Page 110

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  • spamdangled 3 Feb 2013 02:59:40 27,451 posts
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    Is that you fruit?

    3DS: 4055-2781-2855 Xbox: spamdangled PSN: dark_morgan Wii U: Spamdangle Steam: spamdangled

  • Khanivor 3 Feb 2013 03:01:40 41,261 posts
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    Volunteering was suggested by my girlfriend's therapist as an avenue to explore as well. Getting out of the house and interacting with brains other than your own is a worthwhile pursuit. If you're feeling depressed it can be very hard to muster up the energy to do anything other than lie around the house. But lying around the house invariably makes things worse.

    The human brain has a horrible habit of digging itself a mental groove and getting stuck. If you don't force yourself to put your brain into positions where the needle is jumped then that groove can become very enveloping. I personally find my brain will seem like a skipping CD, thinking the same thoughts on a loop. If those thoughts are ones which include a lack of self-worth then you can quickly convince yourself of their validity. This in turn makes it even harder to take any action to challenge that feeling.

    Talking to letters on a screen is a good way to work your way out of a rut. It's often hard to open up to people in the same room as you feel like you are burdening them. Or that you are opening yourself up for being looked down upon, in one way or another, as someone less than successful. The internet also overcomes the point brought up earlier, that others have their own problems to deal with and so are often less than willing to care about your problems. On the internet, unless people care then they don't have to get involved. Of course, some people care more about causing a fuss but hey, nothing's perfect.

    I know from plenty of occasions of personal experience that loafing around leads to worsening depression. I didn't believe people when they said getting a job was a way to feel greater self worth, what with being a dyed-in-the-wool idle bastard and all, but it's pretty much true for pretty much everyone. It doesn't even have to be a job, just something regular that requires your input and effort. Take up woodworking, maybe, or something similar. The act of creating something can bring great satisfaction on its own, let alone the benefits of being focused and occupied.

    I do think you have to challenge some of your basic assumptions about life. If you've been living your life in a particular style and that life is not one you really enjoy then there's a reasonable chance your unhappiness takes strength from the way you are living.
  • spamdangled 3 Feb 2013 03:09:39 27,451 posts
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    @Khanivor

    It sounds stupid but my recent hobby of boardgaming - and working on boardgame systems - is sort of my "being creative" outlet. It at least gets me thinking about things and keeps me occupied, etc. because I am thinking about systems, maths, probabilities, etc. Which sounds dull, but that is the sort of thing that ges my mind going. Then before you know it i am creating spreadsheets and things with formulas... then I get lost for hours.

    Same with gaming. Stick me in front of a game (my current one is secret world) and I can sit there for hours, engrossed, and it's like everything just melts away. Like escapism I guess, not so much avoiding my problems, just more like trying to get some respite from constantly worrying about them if that makes sense. Well, not problems, per se, but just... Stuff. My own thoughts, i guess.

    Edit: spelling, grammar.

    Edited by darkmorgado at 03:21:37 03-02-2013

    Edited by darkmorgado at 03:24:58 03-02-2013

    3DS: 4055-2781-2855 Xbox: spamdangled PSN: dark_morgan Wii U: Spamdangle Steam: spamdangled

  • spamdangled 3 Feb 2013 03:11:02 27,451 posts
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    Stupid ios predictive text. Should have been "then", not "ten".

    Edited by darkmorgado at 03:11:22 03-02-2013

    3DS: 4055-2781-2855 Xbox: spamdangled PSN: dark_morgan Wii U: Spamdangle Steam: spamdangled

  • Khanivor 3 Feb 2013 03:26:10 41,261 posts
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    I can see how that might seem like it's helping, and while it might be, I would seriously suggest trying something different. Get out of your comfort zone, so to speak. Trying something new will create new thinking and open up new possibilities. If you stick to doing what you are familiar with this is less likely to happen.

    I understand the comfort. I've though gaming and getting wasted were enough activity for me. They weren't. You have to do something more structured and with purpose to really get the brain into a better mode.

    I'm not saying this applies for all; you may be different. But if you are doing these things and only find yourself getting worse then it seems very likely they are not providing the sort of help an alternative might.

    I got this book for my woman, who has issues with anxiety. It didn't cure her and she found it overly dry but it did help her to see things in different ways which helped her to understand what was triggering her anxiety. It also gave her some methods to put those feelings into better perspective and allowed her to start dealing with them better. I read some of it and quickly found some stuff that applied to my life.
  • spamdangled 3 Feb 2013 03:32:33 27,451 posts
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    @Khanivor

    I think that might be why the OH (I assume he is doing it) has got people to come over to say hi - to give me some friendly faces and things, people to speak to from outside the house.

    Anyway, I have sort of hogged this thread this evening so I really apologise if other people have other stuff they would like to post about their own situation.

    3DS: 4055-2781-2855 Xbox: spamdangled PSN: dark_morgan Wii U: Spamdangle Steam: spamdangled

  • spamdangled 3 Feb 2013 04:15:12 27,451 posts
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    Urgh

    Edited by darkmorgado at 04:19:11 03-02-2013

    3DS: 4055-2781-2855 Xbox: spamdangled PSN: dark_morgan Wii U: Spamdangle Steam: spamdangled

  • Psychotext 3 Feb 2013 10:38:20 55,032 posts
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    I was thinking earlier that I haven't been "happy" in about 8 years. I had to think really, really hard to when the last happy period was.

    That fucking sucks.
  • spamdangled 3 Feb 2013 14:33:05 27,451 posts
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    Yeah thats not good dude. Can you think of any reason you might feel like that? Im in no position to be giving advice atm, but we're all here to lend and ear and a shoulder if needed x

    3DS: 4055-2781-2855 Xbox: spamdangled PSN: dark_morgan Wii U: Spamdangle Steam: spamdangled

  • Jazzy_Geoff 3 Feb 2013 15:58:50 7,782 posts
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    cheer up ffs
  • Jazzy_Geoff 3 Feb 2013 16:05:33 7,782 posts
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    anyway, happiness is illusory and at best a temporary state of mind the pusuit of which is a waste of time and effort. Seek to be content and you will find contentment. Seek to be happy and happiness will always be just over the horizon, wrapped up with a promotion, a new relationship or even a new console.
  • dominalien 3 Feb 2013 16:44:49 7,065 posts
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    Psychotext wrote:
    I was thinking earlier that I haven't been "happy" in about 8 years. I had to think really, really hard to when the last happy period was.

    That fucking sucks.
    I share the sentiment. I'm not unhappy by any means, but I simply find no joy in life, or things which happen to me anymore. We had friends over last night who came with their 5yo son and I was watching jealously at how he found everything endlessly fascinating. I don't want to have a son; I want to be 5 years old again. :-) Or at least, to find fun in the world.

    PSN: DonOsito

  • Blotto 3 Feb 2013 17:46:24 2,777 posts
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    Jazzy_Geoff wrote:
    anyway, happiness is illusory and at best a temporary state of mind the pusuit of which is a waste of time and effort. Seek to be content and you will find contentment. Seek to be happy and happiness will always be just over the horizon, wrapped up with a promotion, a new relationship or even a new console.
    Don't think I'll ever be able to read any posts from you and not imagine this guy saying it.
  • Deleted user 3 February 2013 18:02:57
    A mate of mine told me somewhere around here on the web somebody finally nailed the TRUTH.
  • Bremenacht 3 Feb 2013 18:27:16 19,663 posts
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    Psychotext wrote:
    I was thinking earlier that I haven't been "happy" in about 8 years. I had to think really, really hard to when the last happy period was.

    That fucking sucks.
    That does suck. Rather than letting your life drift away, you need to think what you can do to change that. What things put a smile on your face? If you know those things, why not make the most of them?
  • Bremenacht 3 Feb 2013 18:28:47 19,663 posts
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    dominalien wrote:
    I want to ... to find fun in the world.
    It's there! Go get some!
  • Psychotext 3 Feb 2013 19:03:06 55,032 posts
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    Bremenacht wrote:
    That does suck. Rather than letting your life drift away, you need to think what you can do to change that. What things put a smile on your face? If you know those things, why not make the most of them?
    It doesn't seem to be that simple. I do plenty of things that I really enjoy (pretty regularly) and if I'm honest my life isn't that bad... it's just I can think back to periods where I knew I was happy and I don't know, it's like I have entire senses missing. Life is just so much more grey and bland now, or at least that's how it feels.

    I wish I could find a way of describing it.
  • Benno 3 Feb 2013 19:11:26 10,268 posts
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    Don't you spend all your time working? Maybe you're burnt out and need a career change
  • Psychotext 3 Feb 2013 19:19:03 55,032 posts
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    I work more than most, but I also get out and do stuff more than most. Had an easier life 5+ years ago but wasn't happier though.
  • sirtacos 5 Feb 2013 11:05:35 7,378 posts
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    Been in the same boat as far as happiness is concerned, Psycho.
    I have no problem with fleeting moments of pleasure, joy, and the ordinary ups and downs of life... it all just takes place against a background of dull, dreary grey.

    I just want the shitty circular useless thoughts to fuck off. I've been ruminating and introspecting since forever, so it's become my default state. Rewiring that seems nigh-on impossible.

    It's not even just my internal chatter anymore. (Drugs and booze help escape that, short term.) It's the way I think and it's the lens through which I perceive everything, all the time. It's like being trapped in the same featureless room day upon day. It's boring and I'm tired of it.

    On a separate note, I don't know if anyone feels this way, but very few things I do are ever genuine. Most of my behaviour is either manipulative (depends on context and perceived risk/reward), or automatic (due to conditioning or habit). I'm not awake very often.

    Even my thoughts and my desires seem to come from somewhere else. I've never had an original thought in my head. I don't know who I am, and any attempt to assert my identity seems like a lie.

    It's mostly a feeling of imprisonment, with the added doubt of whether there's even any prisoner. Is there a 'genuine self' buried down there, frozen in carbonite? Or am I the prison?

    Anyway here's a kitten wrestling a watermelon.



    Edited by sirtacos at 11:33:02 05-02-2013
  • Deleted user 6 February 2013 10:06:01
    I want a restraining order on all of you! :o
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