Favourite method of dealing with cold sales calls (phone or doorstep) Page 8

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  • Jazzy_Geoff 27 May 2010 12:47:30 7,898 posts
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    I spent a few weeks trying to get people to switch to n-power door-to-door with pyramid sales group. The people there were the worst cunts in the world and we had to have four hours of motivation shite before we could go out pitching with a big rally in wembley once a year for the BIG HITTERS and the SHARP SHOOTERS.

    cunts to a man
  • LionheartDJH 27 May 2010 12:53:09 19,574 posts
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    Jazzy_Geoff wrote:
    with a big rally in wembley once a year for the BIG HITTERS and the SHARP SHOOTERS.

    Wow did they invite some ice hockey players along?


    And @ heyyo, fair enough thanks for the insight, and I hope you can find a better paid job in the future :)

    She dives for cheese pasties

  • Jazzy_Geoff 27 May 2010 12:54:03 7,898 posts
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    those were some of the words we had to chant each day

    along with "9-5 Cows MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

    srs
  • LionheartDJH 27 May 2010 12:58:56 19,574 posts
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    Haha I feel for you Geoff. Srs biznz face to face sales!

    She dives for cheese pasties

  • Jazzy_Geoff 27 May 2010 13:33:24 7,898 posts
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    srs indeed. God I hated that job. You could make some cash if you were good enough though (and also a bit of a cunt).
  • Deleted user 27 May 2010 13:36:21
    Hang the phone up or close the door.
  • S.J.Rogers 27 May 2010 14:29:36 3,558 posts
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    I stop the god bothering folk that come to my door by pointing to the badge on the back of my car...

    Its one of these:

    http://www.darwinfish.co.uk/darwinfish.html

    That see’s them off... :-)
  • Salaman 27 May 2010 14:59:33 19,969 posts
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    Self stacking sounds painful.
  • Deleted user 27 May 2010 15:02:27
    My favourite way is to timidly mumble or make excuses so that I can leave without causing a scene, but if anyone asks then I got right in their face and came up with something hilariously witty, like if they were selling freezers I'd be like 'just chill off, dickweed', and especially if they're one of those religionist types I'd say that I stole a diatribe from West Wing or something, you know, something written by someone cleverer than me, and then I'd say that it made them get angry/cry/renounce their faith or something.
  • Flying_Pig 27 May 2010 15:04:22 12,024 posts
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    ^^ Riiiight

    /slowly backs out of the thread
  • DFawkes 27 May 2010 15:24:06 24,697 posts
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    Witty lines are good. I prefer lines totally out of context. So follow "have you felt the light of the Lord today?" with:

    * It's just been revoked!
    * Looks like he got the point!
    * Now I know what a TV Dinner feels like!
    * I want bacon, and butter, and buckets of cheese!
    * Come quietly or there will be.... trouble.
    * 2 week. 2 weeeks. 2 weeeeeeeksssss

    Just mix them up.

    Oh for goodness sake, I've caught my scrotum in my zip again - Margaret Thatcher, 1986

  • Deleted user 25 November 2010 10:50:19
    Post deleted
  • Humperfunk 16 Jan 2015 12:06:13 2,701 posts
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    When I lived in a shared house a few years ago in North London, got home from work early and received a call from a cold caller. Had some bizarre moment where in a baritone I just dealt with it by going "Nooooo dooooogs allooooooowed" and hung up.

    Think I saw it on Family Guy or something, either way whilst not the most mature thing to do, still made me laugh imagining what he must have been thinking.

    PSN, XBL & NNID: Wedjwants

  • chopsen 16 Jan 2015 12:11:15 16,535 posts
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    cba checking, this been linked?

    http://egbg.home.xs4all.nl/counterscript.html
  • RyanDS 16 Jan 2015 12:13:29 10,282 posts
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    I do sex talk. I used to get angry and tell them to fuck off, but now I see how long I can keep them on the phone. I usually start by asking the colour of their underwear and gradually build up to asking if I can finger their bum.

    I tend to get a mixture of responses from utter shock to genuine laughter.
  • Deleted user 16 January 2015 12:15:15
    A guy from a debt collection agency called me the other day. I told him I don't give out details to cold callers, especially companies I'd never heard of (a lie, I'd googled them after a voicemail they'd left).

    I asked if he could tell me what the company does but he refused until I gave my details. Breaking dpa so he told me. I explained that was nonsense and asked if he would give his personal details to someone over the phone especially if they cant even confirm what it is they do first. An obvious no answer.

    Well anyway I was doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen at the time so I thought it would be fun to try and keep him on the phone as long as I could.

    I would take random guesses at what the company did. "Do you sell life insurance? No, OK how about cover for caravans coz I've just bought one." And classic like "will I get a free Parker pen?".

    Poor guy was just telling me over and over how he couldn't take the call any further unless I gave him some details but I just ignored him and kept guessing what my free gift would be if I signed up. "A radio alarm clock?!"

    So in summery, if a time waster calls you up and you're not busy, waste their time! Can you imagine what would happen to the cold call industry if everyone did this?

    Just to add that I've been in the position of cold caller and it is indeed the shitiest job on earth. Oh and I managed to keep said debt recovery fellow on the phone for over 50 minutes. Zing!
  • dfunked 16 Jan 2015 12:20:00 891 posts
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    @chun-li Just sign any of your phone numbers up with the TPS if you haven't already. Takes two minutes and is well worth it.

    I'd love to know some polite ways to get rid of sales calls to my work number. There's a chance I may need to use them in the future, so would prefer not to bluntly tell them to piss off and stop bothering me... (as much as I'd love to!)
  • CosmicFuzz 16 Jan 2015 12:20:18 26,867 posts
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    Ha, I got the exact same call this morning chun-li. Didn't answer.

    Fucking cold callers! FUCK OFF!

    Episode 16 of our gaming podcast is here - New 3DS, GTA V sales and Gamergate.

  • DaM 16 Jan 2015 12:31:02 13,680 posts
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    I had a big argument with one of those shitty solar panel selling companies, who said they were phoning up because Mrs DaM had asked them to call back. I told them this was bollocks, because she was away in the USA on business, and wouldn't entertain their spammy shite anyway. I went on to tell them they were all frauds and scam merchants, preying on the elderly and vulnerable, until they hung up.

    Turns out she did ask them to call back....

    I get the odd automatic one on my phone about PPI or loans, but the number is withheld. I don't want to press 1 to talk to someone, in case that gives my consent for them to have called.
  • Cappy 16 Jan 2015 13:28:11 12,274 posts
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    chopsen wrote:
    cba checking, this been linked?

    http://egbg.home.xs4all.nl/counterscript.html
    It's pointless asking sales people for names, I met many when I worked in publishing, it's standard practice for sales people to adopt a name that they use just for sales, it probably helps them with ethical quandries too since it distances them from their actions.

    Hence so many Indian fellows with Indian accents called Jeff and Brian.

    I'm Ex-Directory and supposedly off limits but I still get the odd call and I it took me years to find out why, my borough council sold information from the electoral register about eight years ago and now it floats around between sales departments the World over.

    In summary, don't trust anybody with your personal information, not even your council and if anybody calls at your door or phones you, ask them if they have an appointment. Since they don't you can't speak to them.
  • Stranded87 16 Jan 2015 13:35:47 1,085 posts
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    Ex-directory also doesn't apply if you've ticked (or failed to untick) certain boxes when you're signing up for things etc as far as I'm aware. And yeah more unethical companies will still find ways to get your phone number anyway.
  • drhickman1983 16 Jan 2015 14:50:08 838 posts
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    I find it hard to get angry at the person on the line, usually it's somebody doing a shitty job for minimum wage. I've had to do cold calling in the past, asking people to fill in surveys to get feedback on the customer service they received off their bank. Shite job, but marginally better than being unemployed and broke.
  • Khanivor 16 Jan 2015 18:33:49 41,572 posts
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    Yup. Once I realise what they are I say, 'Sorry, I'm not interested, thanks anyway" and hang up.

    They are trying to earn a living, I'm trying to spend as much time of my day doing what I choose, so why spend a moment longer than necessary on the phone with them.
  • wrinkly 16 Jan 2015 18:38:05 957 posts
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    Post deleted

    A Werthers Original

  • DaM 16 Jan 2015 18:42:33 13,680 posts
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    Khanivor wrote:
    Yup. Once I realise what they are I say, 'Sorry, I'm not interested, thanks anyway" and hang up.

    They are trying to earn a living, I'm trying to spend as much time of my day doing what I choose, so why spend a moment longer than necessary on the phone with them.
    I tend to do that too, at work anyway. I get annoyed with my staff for engaging with them - it should be a quick "No thanks, bye!". And maybe a "phone us again and we'll report you to your industry watchdog".

    Edited by DaM at 18:42:59 16-01-2015
  • mothercruncher 16 Jan 2015 19:40:12 8,412 posts
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    There are phones you can buy that supposedly have a built in screen for common nuance call numbers, and you can set them to bar all international calls that come in, etc. Has anyone tried them? Is it just marketing balls?
  • EMarkM 16 Jan 2015 19:47:32 3,793 posts
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    @mothercruncher Our home phone, and of course all mobiles, either display the number of the line calling me or "Withheld", "International" and so-on.

    My rule is very simple: if I don't recognise the number I don't answer the call.

    If it's important and genuine they'll leave a message.
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