NaNoWriMo 2017 aka write ten pages then give up Page 11

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  • Skirlasvoud 10 Nov 2017 12:32:51 2,938 posts
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    rice_sandwich wrote:
    a time travelling space vampire
    ...

    This will get interesting. :lol:
  • sunjumper 10 Nov 2017 12:40:15 3,371 posts
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    rice_sandwich wrote:
    I figured it out. Instead of telling that a character is a time travelling space vampire via a conversation, I just show it. In a mundane world I suppose character a undeniably witnessing that character b is a time travelling space vampire will work. They might not understand everything but it'll be clear that things are far from normal.
    Pretty much my recommendation. The easiest way is to have it happen on scene which makes it perfectly clear what is happening and you have your character right there in front of you and can have him/her/it react to the situation.

    Which brings me to the realisation that I am extremely visual when writing. As long as the story flows I just follow it and write it down. When I get stuck I watch the scene in my mind look at what is happening and try to go through some variations and then try to describe what I am seeing with the advantage of knowing what everyone thinks and feels in that moment. (This has the downside that I need to make a conscious effort to involve the other senses that are not part of the Ďfilmí Iím seeing; and wondering if watching movies and TV has influenced that)

    Going back to the original question you can also solve this in dialogue. Which can be a bit trickier to write because you might need to imagine two different scenes. The first one is the one where your character tells someone else about the space vampire. You see your character and you feel his urge to tell someone else about it. You character knows (probably) how fucking crazy that is and tries to think of way of how to describe it. This will be coloured by the urgency of the situation, and how the character sees the event. (Was it awesome to see the space vampire? Is it an immediate threat?) Which brings us to the tricky part where you have to dive into a deeper layer and see how the scene played out of the character that is doing the talking.
    This sounds way more complicated than it is as you (if you write like me) will do this instinctively, but it is a nice tool to use consciously when you are stuck or are in a scene where nothing is working right.
    This approach carries the risk that you will then tell the reader what you saw in your mind instead of writing it down in way that describes what is happening before your mindís eye tough.

    Edited by sunjumper at 12:40:36 10-11-2017
  • rice_sandwich 10 Nov 2017 12:58:13 3,209 posts
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    Skirlasvoud wrote:
    rice_sandwich wrote:
    a time travelling space vampire
    ...

    This will get interesting. :lol:

    That was just an example. The big mystery is something completely different.
  • rice_sandwich 10 Nov 2017 13:18:31 3,209 posts
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    @sunjumper

    Thanks, that all makes sense. I think it just feels a little to odd to have a perfectly normal world where things are totally mundane and then something very odd or magical happens. Once I break the ice on it I should feel mor comfortable writing it.
  • sunjumper 10 Nov 2017 14:01:08 3,371 posts
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    rice_sandwich wrote:
    @sunjumper

    Thanks, that all makes sense. I think it just feels a little to odd to have a perfectly normal world where things are totally mundane and then something very odd or magical happens. Once I break the ice on it I should feel mor comfortable writing it.
    You know what?
    Use that feeling. That your world until now is perfectly normal will later reinforce how incredibly wierd the thing that is going to happen actually is. And your feelings will be reflected by your characters who will have to cope with what is happening.
    Having something happen that breaks the mould of normality is the essence of drama.
  • The12thMonkey 10 Nov 2017 16:58:11 489 posts
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    @Carbon_Altered

    I'm really interested in what's under the dome. Also, the potential for interplay between the reluctant father, his son who dreams of something better, the idiot pilot, and Granny Plum, who is rather more mysterious, is really good, and it's nice to see some of that coming out.

    Edit: wrong description

    Edited by The12thMonkey at 17:06:40 10-11-2017
  • The12thMonkey 10 Nov 2017 17:04:49 489 posts
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    @rice_sandwich Got the feeling this is another building phase. I know what it's like to write for a day and not feel like any of it is going anywhere, but even if you think of them as place holder scenes, you can find that you'll introduce something later on and that the earlier scene might be a good place to do some foreshadowing.
    So, unless you really are just repelled by the day's work (I've had a few days like that), then keep it, run with it, and see what happens down the line.

    I liked the comparison to a French film, but I feel like I need to know more about Keiko, though I suppose her elusiveness is deliberate.
  • The12thMonkey 10 Nov 2017 17:16:01 489 posts
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    Current updates (I realise I posted yesterday's in an edit, so it was probably missed)

    Holly and Alice.

    And the latest from Dean.

    Edited by The12thMonkey at 17:16:17 10-11-2017
  • rice_sandwich 10 Nov 2017 17:18:44 3,209 posts
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    @The12thMonkey

    Yes, quite deliberate. There's a lot more to hear about her, I just haven't written it yet.
  • rice_sandwich 10 Nov 2017 17:21:56 3,209 posts
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    @The12thMonkey

    Missed your edit. I'll catch up on it.
  • rice_sandwich 10 Nov 2017 19:20:13 3,209 posts
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    Day 10. More about Mari and I think the story is getting into its stride at last.

    http://nanodrivel.blogspot.co.uk/2017/11/this-should-probably-follow-on-from.html
  • rice_sandwich 10 Nov 2017 19:28:59 3,209 posts
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    @The12thMonkey

    It's getting pretty dangerous! I like the line about Kate Winslet in Dean's section. Quite funny and easy to visualise.

    Holly's story is my favourite so far. I think your female characters are more interesting than the male ones. I'm on board for wherever the story's going.
  • Carbon_Altered 10 Nov 2017 21:45:24 864 posts
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    How comes Your-Mother started this thread then never posted again?
  • FogHeart 11 Nov 2017 00:36:57 1,242 posts
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    Here's a dilemma. I wrote solidly for a good three hours tonight, from about 8 to 11, and LibreOffice tells me it's just shy of 2000 words. But surely I can't publish it, because it's the ending.

    I think it's a trick I'm playing on myself - I figure the best way to give myself motivation to plough through the mud is to skip forward and drive through the pretty scenery for a bit. It means that the submission will come in fits and starts - I write something dry and dull that I know I have to make interesting in a second draft or risk the reader losing interest, and then suddenly I reach part of the story that I've already got down, the juicy stuff where prose flows like lighted petrol, and I can publish that straight after.

    A disclaimer: my first post in this thread had a link to another bit of creative writing that I did in a couple of posts at EG. That represents the only creative writing I've done since school. As in, I was under 16 years old. Over thirty years ago. I don't know how creative writing is really done (apparently there are several drafts, oh bugger) but I'm guessing there's no fixed way to produce the best results.

    Here are questions: I have a week off right at the end of the month. Realistically, how far through should I aim to be by then? Finished first draft? Further? What happens in subsequent drafts? How do you know where second draft ends and next begins? How do I avoid that adage about never quite finishing, instead deciding to abandon further changes?

    Edited by FogHeart at 00:38:16 11-11-2017
  • rice_sandwich 11 Nov 2017 08:16:40 3,209 posts
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    @FogHeart

    I don't think you have to write in chronological order. If you want to write the end, write the end. Maybe your story is fairly short, maybe it isn't. I wouldn't worry too much. Treat this month's nano as a way to write as much as you can. It might mostly suck but it's supposed to.

    My approach is that I'm writing a story with a beginning, middle and end. It'll probably end up somewhere between 50 and 100k words. 50k is a rather short novella and 100k is a standard novel. I don't really care at the moment. I'm just trying to finish a first draft of some, not completely terrible level of quality.

    After this month I'm not even going to look at the story. I'll come back to it in January and read it through and either finish writing it to the end or start the second draft. Who knows, I may delete or radically change perhaps a third of it.

    I have no idea, apart from one image how my story is going to end. I'm fairly clear about my characters' backstories and personalities. I know what I'll be writing for the next couple of days but after that I'm going to be in making it up as I go along territory.

    So, I guess the best approach might be to fire up a thread to discuss our second drafts, whenever that happens. I'm happy to read others' work and give whatever feedback I can. I probably won't do a third draft as this is only my second try at nano and there's no point polishing a turd too much. I may or may not stick it on Kindle as a free download. Its probably better to start a new project and go through all the writing stages again. I suppose that's how one improves.
  • The12thMonkey 11 Nov 2017 16:36:10 489 posts
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    @FogHeart I'd say writing out of sequence is totally fine if you've not written for a while. It also may find the method suits you. I personally don't write out of sequence very much - I used to, a lot - but I was left with a lot of disjointed scenes, some of which I liked, and most of which I thought were awful, and very little idea about how to tie them together. But, you've written then ending, and as long as you always have that goal in mind, it can be quite good to know you've got that in the bank and also what you need to do in order to hit that point.

    The reason why I stopped writing out of sequence was because, as I said, I didn't know how to link it all up. I had a road map, but it was all just very vague, brief explanations A-B stuff. Actually grasping the nettle and writing those sections helped me enjoy writing a great deal more than I was.

    Having a plan is a good idea, as long as you keep it quite lose with scope to go in different directions.
    As for best results? I don't think anyone will ever know the answer to that. At the very least, are you having a good time writing it? That's good. Do you have a good time if you go back a read it again? That's better. If ever I re-read something I've done and, whilst being as objective as I can, think I'm boring myself, then the section probably needs some work.

    Don't be afraid to read out loud. You might hear issues with the text that aren't readily apparent on the page, eg, the same word used twice within a few sentences. You can even try putting on different voices for your characters - it may help you get into their heads a little more, and you may learn how they speak. That might sound weird, since you've been writing them and you think you know how they speak, but you might surprise yourself.
  • Skirlasvoud 11 Nov 2017 17:37:37 2,938 posts
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    I think I'm going to seize coding and simply write as hard as I can from this point on. I'll share two linear stories, as if only giving people a single choice, and present those.
    We have a nice group of people here and I really want to be able to share the essence and the "trick" of Sunlash by the end of December and I won't be able to do that if I need to account for every single little variable. With space dog-fights, a bar fight and a robbery, I think I can make it interesting enough.

    So yeah, safety's off. Going to find some time to read up on Haemorrhage and Sunjumper's work this evening.
  • Skirlasvoud 11 Nov 2017 17:53:45 2,938 posts
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    Oh! And on the off-chance I might only get to finish one of those two:

    For anyone having read my story deep enough:
    Do you want The Desert Planet, Sunlash?
    Or the Lundar Cities of Penumbra?

    Edited by Skirlasvoud at 17:54:09 11-11-2017
  • The12thMonkey 11 Nov 2017 18:32:16 489 posts
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    @Skirlasvoud Go with whichever one you're happiest with. You've got to please yourself with it first and foremost.

    @rice-sandwich I got flashbacks from certain recent adventures in the Match.com thread when it started in the shed on the allotment. Mari is a kinky so-and-so! Strange, too. I liked how (back in the previous visit to her), that it was all about how she had become a liar, and then you abruptly switched to Eve cheating and built on that. It felt like a little bit of a gut punch when it finally came back to Mari's lying. I'd personally keep the two sections split up by the hotel visit, instead of running them together.
  • Skirlasvoud 11 Nov 2017 19:38:42 2,938 posts
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    @sunjumper

    Just one part more? Project Coffee Break 002 is your latest?

    There are little errors all over the place, but it's easy to see how they're consistent and systematic. The moment I accepted them as just part of a rough draft, I could easily ignoring them.


    Other than that I really liked this entry!

    I was wondering how you'd be able to follow up on your first chapter, with its surreal ending. I think you nailed it.

    More than anything else, you've managed to not make it a story about people, or things, which would've ruined the effect. You've managed to make the story about Jenny's indomitable spirit and the forces vaguely arrayed against it, which is exactly as abstract a concept as you finished the last entry with. It lines up almost perfectly.

    No dusty bank or cityhall walkways, but gravediggers, vultures and the figuratively deceased. It's exactly as fantastical as what happened in the windmill.


    It also lends a great deal of fluidity to your setting, often to great humorous effect as elements clash with a nice comedic contrast.

    Others have already mentioned Oberon and Titiana. I also really liked:

    "I'm not withering! Doesn't he know I go to the gym?"
    "Yes you are withering, with you and your gym!"

    That and her parents switching roles when reacting to either child.



    Coffee Break 001 gave me the feeling of "floating" through your story as a unique experience.
    I continue to "float" through 002 and I'm happy you pulled it off. Consider your experiment in magical realism a success so far Sunjumper!
  • sunjumper 11 Nov 2017 19:48:57 3,371 posts
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    @Skirlasvoud

    Wow! Thank you for your very kind words and feedback Skirlasvoud.

    The errors are bound to appear, would I go hunting for them beyond a superficial level before continuing to write I would get stuck in the first paragraph.

    As mentioned before my November is being an asshole to me so yes, as of now there are only two entries. I'm just happy that I am writing again and I wager that every bit I write is much better than everything I don't.

    I like your observations about the story and it makes me happy that you and the others are getting this kind of "floating" feeling. I wanted to write something that had this kind of sureal but grounded feeling to it, seeing that it is actually working makes me incredibly happy.
  • rice_sandwich 11 Nov 2017 20:27:07 3,209 posts
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    @Skirlasvoud

    I dont mind which part you choose next. Choose the one you like best.
  • Carbon_Altered 11 Nov 2017 20:28:38 864 posts
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    And now for something completely different
  • rice_sandwich 11 Nov 2017 20:34:25 3,209 posts
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    @Carbon_Altered

    So, yeah, that really is different. I've no how it fits into things.
  • Skirlasvoud 11 Nov 2017 21:29:33 2,938 posts
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    @Carbon_Altered

    You're going to set up some (character?) backstory from before the haemorrhages!

    Just finished reading all your work.


    Further rummages in the handbag had produced some spare parts and an outlandishly sized magnifying glass with a torch crudely stuck to the side of it that Granny proceeded to strap to her head, positioning the lens in front of her eyes.
    I'm STILL GOING TO IMAGINE A STEAMPUNK WORLD AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME! :p

    Although Princess reminds me a bit of Tiny Tina from Borderlands. :) Junkpunk then?



    You needed absolutely zero exposition for all of this. I'm still well-entertained and filling in all the gaps for myself. I've certain expectations, looking forward to seeing them fulfilled and where I'm wrong, I'm letting the story correct those expectations normally, without regret and with zero confusion.

    Good on you for making your main character a granny. It's so rare. I'm really starting to grow a liking for ol' biddy Plum.


    The build-up of your work is excellent. The sporadic little details of the city are just what I need to keep believing that this is a vibrant, living place.

    My only complaint is that I thought Knight Graham a bit... jarring within the story, but that might just be my own personal dislike. Him showing up is a bit too convenient and I had trouble believing such a character could exist in a setting like this.
    As time passes however and you keep convincing me with acts of his stupidity and that an upper class has been formed that really can afford to be THAT stupid, I've grown to warm to his inclusion.


    Otherwise the characters are very snappy. Plum is a caricature and a stereotype, but hell! I love my archetypes! Especially when done well!



    I wish I could ramble on as long as I did with all the other works, examining every detail of what I liked and disliked to death, but that might just be a good thing that I can't. I'm really enjoying your story and I can't wait for more out of a personal fondness for a genre that you really seem to be executing well.

    Edited by Skirlasvoud at 21:33:10 11-11-2017
  • Carbon_Altered 11 Nov 2017 22:15:11 864 posts
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    @rice_sandwich and @skirl

    Thanks so much, I really want to reply more to both of you as you're suspicious and confused by just the bits I wanted you to be, but don't want to give away stuff. You've really encouraged me though, so thanks again.
  • Carbon_Altered 11 Nov 2017 22:19:08 864 posts
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    @Skirlasvoud I would happily visit either the planet or moon and I like your plan of cracking on down a single route so we can read more of it now.

    However, there is no need for you to take us down the "right" route of course. Feel free to get the reader eaten by an alien hell beast!
  • rice_sandwich 12 Nov 2017 06:52:15 3,209 posts
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    @Carbon_Altered

    My first impression is that it's taking place at the same time as the other story and that things aren't what they appear to be, for both sets of people.
  • The12thMonkey 12 Nov 2017 15:23:18 489 posts
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    Carbon_Altered wrote:
    And now for something completely different
    As others have said, very different. I kept expecting the haemorrhage to erupt in the middle of the park.
    The routine with the note always pushing him back is very cool. Does he recognise the handwriting? Is it his own? Very interested to see where Peter ends up on the other side of the door.
  • The12thMonkey 12 Nov 2017 15:24:08 489 posts
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    And, update!
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