Your clone: to fight or to f**k?

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  • EddieBear 20 Nov 2009 23:14:39 560 posts
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    Idea for thread shamelessly stolen from Cracked (http://www.cracked.com/blog/human-clones-do-you-fk-or-fight)

    Imagine: you're in a locked room with a perfect clone of yourself for one hour. After one hour, the clone disappears. No one will ever know you were in the room with your clone.

    The question is: do you fight your clone? Or do you fuck them?
  • JediMasterMalik 20 Nov 2009 23:16:49 11,820 posts
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    I would have a deep conversation with myself and discover the reason why there's a randomly perfect clone of me in a magical room and what is going to happen to the clone once it disappears. I suspect an hour wouldn't be enough.
  • Metalfish 20 Nov 2009 23:17:53 8,864 posts
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    Erm, probably talk to them. Define perfect clone? Scientific clone? Or bullshit perfect facsimile sci-fi bioshock respawn clone?

    The former is just a twin, the latter would probably really annoy after a while.
  • Deleted user 20 November 2009 23:19:17
    If I fight them then there is a good chance that I'll leave that room with bruises on and no way of ever explaining them without having to tell everyone about my clone. As a result I will be placed inside a mental institution for the rest of my life and have strange adventures with a giant Native American, a bloke that used to drive taxis/travel through time and another that wears make-up and tries to kill Batman.

    There is only one choice.
  • EddieBear 20 Nov 2009 23:23:42 560 posts
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    They would be a perfect clone: same age, same looks, same voice, same memories, same knowledge, same gender.
  • Psychotext 20 Nov 2009 23:26:07 54,784 posts
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    Neither. After the initial shock it's likely we'd just sit there bored as we share all the same knowledge, memories and opinions.
  • Goban 20 Nov 2009 23:27:04 9,076 posts
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    I'd have a nice nap and hopefully forget the whole experience
  • EddieBear 20 Nov 2009 23:29:32 560 posts
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    disc wrote:
    Neither. And what kind of question is that?

    Fuck or fight?

    What?

    The article explains the rationale for there being only 2 choices. In short, there's not much point in having a conversation as you already know everything there is to know. But if you fight or fuck you have an opportunity to learn something.
  • Destria 20 Nov 2009 23:29:40 2,836 posts
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    I suppose "fuck or fight" are two of the base animal instincts.

    What about the others? Maybe I'll want to eat them. Or just run away from them.
  • askew 20 Nov 2009 23:36:17 12,541 posts
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    I'd sit on his arm until it went dead then get him to wank me off.

    I'd keep my eyes closed though.
  • beastmaster 20 Nov 2009 23:37:11 11,791 posts
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    Have nightmares of my own version of Rimmerworld.

    The Resident Evil films. I'm one of the reasons they keep making them.

  • EddieBear 20 Nov 2009 23:37:49 560 posts
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    He can fuck/fight back though. You wouldn't necessarily have to fuck him. He could fuck you. I guess you'd have to discuss it first though. Otherwise you'd sort of be raping yourself.
  • Metalfish 20 Nov 2009 23:37:53 8,864 posts
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    What, technically cheat on my girlfriend (or is it masturbation?) Or go against my pacifist ethics just because some low grade comedy writer has put me in a fantastical situation and lacks the imagination to do anything other than spin a one note joke out for a thousand words?
  • jellyhead 20 Nov 2009 23:50:37 24,350 posts
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    We'd probably just stand there growling for a while before either fighting viciously or sitting in different corners avoiding each other. Anyway, i'm not gay and if i was i'd like to think i could do better :)

    This signature intentionally left blank.

  • President_Weasel 20 Nov 2009 23:57:56 9,578 posts
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    FeZZ wrote:
    I'd annoy the fuck out of that cunt by repeating everything he says.
  • President_Weasel 20 Nov 2009 23:58:11 9,578 posts
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    FeZZ wrote:
    I'd annoy the fuck out of that cunt by repeating everything he says.
  • Stickman 21 Nov 2009 00:00:13 29,664 posts
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    I wouldn't touch me with a ten foot bargepole but I know I'm a pansy, so I'd beat the shit out of myself.

    THIS SPACE FOR RENT

  • warlockuk 21 Nov 2009 00:03:04 19,211 posts
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    Can we have a guitar each? :D

    I'm a grumpy bastard.

  • Stickman 21 Nov 2009 00:05:14 29,664 posts
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    You want to fuck yourself with a guitar?

    THIS SPACE FOR RENT

  • SolidSCB 21 Nov 2009 00:05:38 7,165 posts
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    I'd get a cheeky blowjob off the clone then eat its spleen for nutritional purposes.
  • Stickman 21 Nov 2009 00:06:11 29,664 posts
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    I'd swap with grayson's clone and oil his guns.

    In fact I'm going to go to bed and dream of just such a thing.

    THIS SPACE FOR RENT

  • Mekanik 21 Nov 2009 00:06:53 3,695 posts
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    warlockuk wrote:
    Can we have a guitar each? :D

    Winner!!!!
  • Psychotext 21 Nov 2009 00:12:14 54,784 posts
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    SolidSCB wrote:
    I'd get a cheeky blowjob off the clone then eat its spleen for nutritional purposes.
    Just a shame you can't freeze replacement organs for a decent period of time...
  • Xerx3s 21 Nov 2009 00:35:25 23,944 posts
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    I'd use my new-found double brain power to help me solve this fucking optimization problem that I'm struggling with.
  • FWB 21 Nov 2009 00:36:29 45,120 posts
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    Mekanik wrote:
    warlockuk wrote:
    Can we have a guitar each? :D

    Winner!!!!

    +1 That would be so awesome.
  • Load_2.0 21 Nov 2009 00:37:48 19,506 posts
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    Stickman wrote:
    I'd swap with grayson's clone and oil his guns.

    In fact I'm going to go to bed and dream of just such a thing.

    I am going to kill you for making me laugh all the time. 5 years or more or these forums I wager. That's the death penalty where I come from.
  • chiefian 21 Nov 2009 01:28:19 475 posts
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    Basically I'm not all that violent, and as my clone is me, neither would want to fight.

    And I certainly don't want to put my penis up my own arse.
  • jellyhead 21 Nov 2009 01:34:23 24,350 posts
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    I'm wondering what would happen if we put all our clones in the room together.

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  • localnotail 21 Nov 2009 01:35:09 23,093 posts
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    I think I would use the hour to come up with a cunning plan to help my clone to escape the room and live a full life. I don't like the idea of anyone killing me, plus there are far more things that I want to do with my life than I have time for.

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

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