Does anyone know any really GOOD jokes?

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  • L42yB 19 Jun 2008 14:46:19 1,673 posts
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    I've been reading (and posting) in the "really BAD jokes" thread and at least 90% of those get nothing more than just a groan... but then that was the point of that thread.

    So what I want to know is do any of you know any *really* funny jokes?

    If you do, let's see 'em :)

    **WARNING**
    If I don't at least spit whatever I may be drinking at the time of reading all over my screen due to uncontrollable laughter, a hitman will be sent to find you and remove your testicles/ovaries.

    I promise to sip something before reading any post ;)

  • Razz 19 Jun 2008 14:48:32 60,750 posts
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    What's jolly big cunt red frog map himself on a google fart?

    A Stupid Hard at Guitar Hero Bastard! :D

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  • Big-Swiss 19 Jun 2008 14:50:32 8,076 posts
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    don't even go there........
  • L42yB 19 Jun 2008 14:51:22 1,673 posts
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    Razz wrote:
    What's jolly big cunt red frog map himself on a google fart?

    A Stupid Hard at Guitar Hero Bastard! :D

    /dispatches hitman
  • Razz 19 Jun 2008 14:51:52 60,750 posts
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    I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

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  • Xerx3s 19 Jun 2008 14:53:31 23,944 posts
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    :o
  • TechnoHippy 19 Jun 2008 14:54:32 14,698 posts
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    How do you seperate the men from the boys in [insert favourite country to mock]?

    With a crowbar.

    Edit: Didn't realise the forum can't handle angular brackets!

    My books, contests, reviews and author interviews on my blog

  • cubbymoore 19 Jun 2008 14:57:12 36,468 posts
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    A man walks into a bar and blows himself up. Everybody dies.
  • L42yB 19 Jun 2008 14:57:41 1,673 posts
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    Razz wrote:
    I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    That made me lol :)

    /puts hitman on hold
  • Razz 19 Jun 2008 14:59:29 60,750 posts
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    \o/

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  • BanjoMan 19 Jun 2008 14:59:39 13,730 posts
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    cubbymoore wrote:
    A man walks into a bar and blows himself up. Everybody dies.
    HAHAHAHAH!! Oh, me oh my. Coffee + monitor incident or what! Ah, it's funny because it's true.

    /wipes eyes

    PSN: BanjoFett
    XBL: Banjo Fett

  • Razz 19 Jun 2008 14:59:57 60,750 posts
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    I've always had to be drunk to laugh at that joke. :D

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  • BanjoMan 19 Jun 2008 15:00:45 13,730 posts
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    No, not here Razz. They'll get suspicious.

    About the other thing, that is...

    PSN: BanjoFett
    XBL: Banjo Fett

  • w00t 19 Jun 2008 15:01:39 11,047 posts
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    Most the good jokes are in the Worst Joke Ever thread.

    The day charity died - NEVER FORGET

    (the mic was OK in the end)

  • BanjoMan 19 Jun 2008 15:02:42 13,730 posts
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    Yeah the lucky blue overcoat one's about as good as it gets tbh.

    PSN: BanjoFett
    XBL: Banjo Fett

  • cubbymoore 19 Jun 2008 15:08:54 36,468 posts
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    What's the difference between a Jew and a Nazi?

    There are many differences but the main one is their ideologies.
  • Chopsen 19 Jun 2008 15:09:22 15,702 posts
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    Razz wrote:
    What's jolly big cunt red frog map himself on a google fart?

    A Stupid Hard at Guitar Hero Bastard! :D

    I'm glad you edited that post because it made no sense before.
  • JediMasterMalik 19 Jun 2008 15:10:56 11,826 posts
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    What do you call a lonely banana?

    A khayla

    (It's a pun, the answer can mean both a lone and banana in Urdu)

    I thought it was funny.
  • L42yB 19 Jun 2008 15:11:54 1,673 posts
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    /watches thread go downhill quickly
    /can't afford this many hits

    :(
  • L42yB 19 Jun 2008 15:21:16 1,673 posts
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    JediMasterMalik wrote:
    What do you call a lonely banana?

    A khayla

    (It's a pun, the answer can mean both a lone and banana in Urdu)

    I thought it was funny.

    /writes name down on hitlist
  • Stickman 19 Jun 2008 15:25:10 29,657 posts
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    Quick tip: if you have to explain a joke after telling it, it isn't funny.

    THIS SPACE FOR RENT

  • coastal 19 Jun 2008 15:25:23 5,377 posts
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    I once shot a moose....

    /possibly the best joke ever.

    bf3: sergeant_shaftoe

  • JediMasterMalik 19 Jun 2008 15:27:39 11,826 posts
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    Stickman wrote:
    Quick tip: if you have to explain a joke after telling it, it isn't funny.

    It's funny if you know the language. It's not meant for non Urdu speakers, just thought I'd put it down.
  • markh 19 Jun 2008 15:27:44 3,598 posts
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    Think I've told these before on here, but I'll try it again..

    Which Dinosaur runs on tracks?

    Trainosaurus Rex :D

    Why does Superman wear his pants on the outside of his trousers?

    Because he's a paedophile

    Why did the chicken farmer get arrested?

    Because he got his cock out.
  • the_dudefather 19 Jun 2008 15:34:37 9,181 posts
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    why did Solid snake cross the road?

    Nanomachines

    (ง ͠ ͟ʖ ͡)

  • BanjoMan 19 Jun 2008 15:34:48 13,730 posts
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    More from cubby please.

    PSN: BanjoFett
    XBL: Banjo Fett

  • captaineurogamer 19 Jun 2008 15:43:02 4,322 posts
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    When James Bond came to Bangladesh
    James Bond is a stylish hero you know. Whenever people ask him of his name, he answers in his own branded style - "Bond, James Bond". Last year Bond came to Bangladesh for a quick visit. In Noakhali Swimming Complex, he met Pasha.
    Pasha asked:
    Hey, what's you name?
    James Bond replied:
    Bond
    James Bond.
    Then Bond asked Pasha the same: And what's yours?
    Pasha replied:
    Pasha
    Choudhury Pasha
    Rahman Choudhury Pasha
    Saidur Rahman Choudhury Pasha
    Ibne Saidur Rahman Choudhury Pasha
    Khan Ibne Saidur Rahman Choudhury Pasha
    Rahman Khan Ibne Saidur Rahman Choudhury Pasha
    Fazlur Rahman Khan Ibne Saidur Rahman Choudhury Pasha
    Mohammad Fazlur Rahman Khan Ibne Saidur Rahman Choudhury Pasha
    Kalam Mohammad Fazlur Rahman Khan Ibne Saidur Rahman Choudhury Pasha
    Abul Kalam Mohammad Fazlur Rahman Khan Ibne Saidur Rahman Choudhury Pasha.
    From that day on, whenever people ask Bond of his name, he simply replies James Bond. Woot
  • Razz 19 Jun 2008 15:44:02 60,750 posts
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    :D That's actually quite funny! :D

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  • deem 19 Jun 2008 15:44:57 31,641 posts
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    captaineurogamer wrote:
    From that day on, whenever people ask Bond of his name, he simply replies James Bond.

    No he doesn't.


  • captaineurogamer 19 Jun 2008 15:45:41 4,322 posts
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    deem wrote:
    captaineurogamer wrote:
    From that day on, whenever people ask Bond of his name, he simply replies James Bond. Woot

    No he doesn't.



    Well at least in Bangladesh he does
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