Time Gentlemen, Please! Review

By Dan Griliopoulos Published 1 July, 2009

Pint of best.

Version tested: PC

There will be unavoidable nepotism in this review. The UK games community has got so tiny over the years that only developers who deliberately shun the limelight, or (as games industry myth tells tale) deny their workers internet connections and phones, and site themselves in the arse-end of nowhere, are unknown to the welcoming and judgemental circle of UK games writers. When it comes to UK indie developers, like Introversions or Zombie Cow, they pretty much make you know them. I will therefore admit to knowing Dan and Ben, the scriptwriters and narcississistic heroes of this game. However, as my nearest and dearest will attest, I'm pretty much a sociopath with no social skills and face no problems in offending people I know and like, and so I hereby declare that joyously imagining their weeping, betrayed faces when they see the number at the end will have no impact on my review.

Not that Ben and Dan need worry on that score, curse their bones; their game's few flaws must be obvious to them anyway, and are more to do with the engine and medium they've chosen to express themselves than any problems they've introduced. This game is built from the Adventure Game Studio engine, though heavily customised, but it's obvious their writing talents could be put to use in any genre; as with their previous (free) game Ben There, Dan That! (to which this is a sequel), they've made this adventure game because a) it lets them express themselves in the purest form of mainstream game, the interactive novel and b) because they have an unparalleled knowledge and love for the genre. Their excellent scripting, consistent, cartoony design and delight in overtly, overly referential absurdity is designed to appeal to the hardest of the hardcore. It's like they made the game for games journalists!

The plot follows Dan and Ben as they seek to undo the total cock-up they've made of history in the previous game by (minor spoiler) stopping the invention of the coathanger which, along with Dan's Magnum PI addiction, was to blame for total world genocide. Travelling back in time, their coathanger-related meddling inadvertently results in Hitler and an army of cloned Nazi dinosaurs conquering the world; our smug know-it-all heroes must work out a way to stop him and restore the earth to its correct timeline, whilst trying ultimately, we presume, to keep the eighties' most mustachioed detective (saving Angela Lansbury's later years) on their screens.

'Time Gentlemen, Please!' Screenshot 1

Admittedly, beyond the script and design, the engine is rudimentary but robust. You control Ben most of the time, with Dan tagging along as the Max to his Sam, the Chewie to his Han, the Bubbles to his... his sidekick. Right-clicking changes action (examine, use, use with Dan, talk to) and left-clicking performs the action. There's a handy map which teleports you between zones spatially and temporally, and a simple settings menu, which includes the Never-Before-Seen Racism slider. Is it a bad sign that when I slid it all the way to the top, I couldn't tell the difference? Or am I being anti-slideritic now? I just don't know any more. (Sob.)

Get past the simplicity of the interface, and the game is uproariously funny. Admittedly, there is a large element of randomly picking up items, but it's leavened by oodles of witty humour at every turn. We shudder to think how many lines of script the game includes - there is literally a funny, unique line for every possible combination of items and in-world objects. It's massively over-written, with banter between characters that can go on for minutes at a time (thankfully skippable, if you happen to activate it twice) and a genuine labour of self-love. It's also tightly-plotted, pretty necessary for something that plays around with timelines more than Primer.

Though it's not as referentially blatant as the previous game, TGP still manages to cram every three-headed cranny with tributes to old LucasArts, Sierra and other adventures. Where it differs though, is that the references are more subtle than last time - we assume the professor's basement being accessible through a Grandfather clock is a Day of the Tentacle reference, as are the numerous jaunts through time, and the extended rodent puzzle, but it's not shoved in your face. There's a choice of WITS, STEALTH and FISTS paths reminiscent of Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis, but it's used more as a running joke than game mechanic. (Dan and Ben are lucky in that all the things they refer to are being re-released as we speak.) There's even self-deprecating references to their own path-finding, and ridiculous meta-conversations about the scripting and art.

Gloriously, this game isn't just well written and drawn, in an unusual move for an adventure game, it's also entirely logical. I'm not preternaturally good at adventure games, mainly because of the genre's tendency towards pixel-hunting and obscure puzzles, but Zombie Cow has made puzzles that you can work out, if you just think hard enough, and nearly all the interactive bits are easy to spot. The game also features an in-game help system in the obtuse form of Dan, who will offer tips and hints, but only after you've had a damn good try, and item-on-item descriptions normally drop fairly blatant hints about the proper way to use something. In fact, rarely have I come across an adventure game that keeps the balance as far away from frustration or tedious simplicity, and firmly on brain-teasing. If you get really stuck, Dan and Ben are waiting on the Zombie Cow forum to give hints and tips. This is sounding too much like an advert now. Everyone's going to think I'm doing this because I know them. God, I hate Ben and Dan.

Past the wordy stuff, the way the game is presented is second to none - there's a mix of animation and drawing styles in the cut-scenes and credits that evokes old-school LucasArts, and the in-game animation/design is kooky and amusing but rarely disturbing. Meanwhile, the music is a mature mix of cafe jazz and subtley rhythmic plinky-plonky xylophones (no, I'm not a music journalist and never aspired to be, thank you very much) that shifts nicely from scene-to-scene; the sound effects are similarly innocuously cartoony and knowing.

'Time Gentlemen, Please!' Screenshot 2

One caveat about the game is that it's bluer than Bernard Manning after the watershed and about as mature as Viz. For example, while writing this my darling girlfriend has just found me trying to hide a dead mouse's rigor mortis-riddled willy beneath a tasteful miniature evening gown before impaling said rodent corpse onto a rocking hula doll to attract a horny live mouse. Her reaction was "eeeeuuugh" followed by "ooh, that music's good". This is not the worst thing that happens in the game by a long way, so this isn't for little kids. Just big ones.

Fat men in suits keep telling us that the PC is dying; grandfathers scare nippers on their knees with tales of adventure games emerging from their crypts in the twilight hours to say "boo". However, as Time Gentlemen, Please! and a million in-form games (Violet, Slouching Towards Bedlam, etc.) prove, big publishers can't produce the best adventures and scripts - even the Telltale titles are clunky and formulaic compared to the anarchistic invention of games like this and the Discworld.

What's more, if you want to find out if the game is for you, Ben There, Dan That! is still available for free and there's a 20MB demo of Time Gentlemen, Please! too. We think it's intelligent, witty, absurd, and, at GBP 2.99 we heartily recommend it. And, for once, it's not because we're enormously corrupt.

9 / 10

Read the Eurogamer.net scoring policy
Picture of Dan.

About Dan Griliopoulos

Read more articles from Dan by visiting the Dan Griliopoulos archive page.

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Comments (51) Latest comment 3 years ago

Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • Bennicus #1 3 years ago

    What happens after the pod crashes to the surface??? Next screenshot please!

  • penhalion #2 3 years ago

    We think it's intelligent, witty, absurd, and, at GBP 2.99 we heartily recommend it. And, for once, it's not because we're enormously corrupt.

    I think we'll be the judges of that thank you very much!

  • dsmx #3 3 years ago

    meh, people who aren't corrupt are poor.

  • cubbymoore #4 3 years ago

    So this has nothing to do with the TV show? You tricked me, you tricked me good.

  • thedaveeyres #5 3 years ago

    Methinks he doest protest too much.

  • GriddleOctopus #6 3 years ago

    Methinks he doest protest too much.

    I know, but if I hadn't mentioned it and y'all had looked at Twitter or Facebook or something, can you imagine what the comments thread would have been like?

  • gaselite #7 3 years ago

    Might want to look up the definition of nepotism.

    Engagingly written otherwise.

  • thedaveeyres #8 3 years ago

    For a game costing 3 quid, I think it's a moot point. :)

  • Wendelius #9 3 years ago

    If nothing else, try the demo. I found it fun and well scripted and it has the feel of classic adventure games. As for the engine, it is very adequate for the job.

    Wendelius

  • Toothball #10 3 years ago

    This sounds rather interesting. I think I'll look up the first one and see where this leads.

  • robg #11 3 years ago

    Nice job on the screenshots btw, I like the bar at the top of the screen.

  • Harmonica #12 3 years ago

    All these games-under-a-tenner today are leaving me lighter in pocket, but happier for it.

  • siro #13 3 years ago

    I'm intrigued, but you know with the sparse spare time and such, I'm wondering if it makes sense to play "Ben There, Dan That!" first? Is there a correlation? Is this the better game?

  • Hendo #14 3 years ago

    Silly question perhaps, but is there a way of playing them on Mac?

  • mingster #15 3 years ago

    Why review something that costs £3?
    A game that costs £30-£40 needs a review so you don't waste your money.
    £3 it doesn't matter whether its good or not.

  • GriddleOctopus #16 3 years ago

    Silly question perhaps, but is there a way of playing them on Mac?

    Apparently it does, through Boot Camp/ Parallels/ CrossOver. If the Direct3D won't work, you can lose the snazzy effects by running Setup and changing to DirectDraw; then it should work on pretty much anything. Anyway, if the demo works, the full game will.

  • botherer #17 3 years ago

    Everyone buy it this instant. It's completely fab. And I've never met Ben or Dan!

  • Batsphinx #18 3 years ago

    It's better than The Dig and Simon the Sorceror combined. And I'm not just saying that.

  • Hendo #19 3 years ago

    @GriddleOctopus I'm running a G4 iBook, pretty old, no BootCamp.
    Any tips?

  • jon.blyth #20 3 years ago

    @squarejawhero

    To paraphrase: "I'm angry about the Guardian, nepotism, smug floppy hair, lurid eyewear, and self-engagement, but I'm not entirely sure how they're all linked, or relevant to this situation"

  • archy_bold #21 3 years ago

    NB: Batsphinx also knows Dan and Ben, but his sentiments are spot on! :p

  • CordableTuna #22 3 years ago

    Oh come on, you're a *little* bit corrupt, aren't you? :)

    I'm going to do one of the odder game switches lately, and buy this instead of Anno 1404. That'll teach them to put a three install limit on the bugger.

  • hulahoops #23 3 years ago

    The UK games community has got so tiny over the years


    ?

    In terms of people (and with so many small Flash/iPhone/etc. outfits etc. cropping up, possibly even companies) we're bigger than ever before!

  • Chufty #24 3 years ago

    Yeah that comment confused me, too.

  • w00t #25 3 years ago

    I have a sneaking suspicion that botherer is a massive liar!

    :)

  • Batsphinx #26 3 years ago

    I don't want to put words into Dan G's mouth, but I think that he was trying to underline that as the years have gone past the UK games dev/indie/journo/whatever community has been drawn a lot closer together - and that seemingly everyone knows everyone else more than they once did, or at least knows of them. Something aided and abetted by facebook, twitter, forums and the likes.

    At least, I think that's what he's saying. Arguably it's been that way for a fair while.

  • botherer #27 3 years ago

    I'm not! I've emailed Dan a bunch of times for work, but I've never once seen his actual face.

  • GriddleOctopus #28 3 years ago

    Batsphinx: you can put anything in my mouth, lover-boy. Anything pie-shaped that is. (God, I hope your cock isn't pie-shaped.)

    But, yes, that's what I was saying - it does seem that over the years we've got closer to the UK devs than the arms-length-with-PR intermediaries state we had when I started. Social networking is almost certainly to blame. I could be confusing my subjective experience with an objective one though.

    Yeah, I'm fairly sure Botherer and Dan M have never met. I know it's hard to believe but he may well not be lying.

  • Ninja_Tino #29 3 years ago

    I had never heard of 'Ben There, Done That' before this review but I wish I had. It's a fantastic game. Just finished it and have immediately brought the £3 sequel. Everyone should check out the free game. Just 'cus it's free doesn't mean it's shit. Oh and mingster, eurogamer reviews games, regardless of price. Why be annoyed that they've reviewed a game. Surely you'd rather have it, know it's good, than waste £3 and it turns out to be rubbish.

  • NunianVonFuch #30 3 years ago

    Ben There, Dan That is gas! I'm stuck trying to get the tele working but I've had more of a laugh with this game than any I can remember since Monkey Island! Brilliant stuff, cheers Dan!

  • Rufus #31 3 years ago

    Nunian, get the coathanger out of Ben/Dan's (cant remember which) wardrobe. That should steer you in the right direction.

    Combine-me-do!

  • w00t #32 3 years ago

    I believe you botherer... for now.

  • thedaveeyres #33 3 years ago

    ...and so the self-fulfilling prophecy comes to pass.

  • NunianVonFuch #34 3 years ago

    @Rufus Cheers but it was the wire I was missing. Didn't realize I could use Dan!

  • Qwagor #35 3 years ago

    To counter Mingster, this is the kind of reviews we DO need. We don't need a review of Transformers 2 or the upcoming Assassins Creed 2, most of us already know we'll buy it or not regardless of any review (in my case, no and yes respectively ). I was absolutely unaware of this game until I read this. And I'm buying it, right now.

  • jon.blyth #36 3 years ago

    @Qwagor : Absolutely spot on.

  • Demiath #37 3 years ago

    I bought the game right after reading the review. Have been quite satisfied with well-designed traditional adventure games made with the AGS engine before (notably the Blackwell games from Wadjet Eye Games), so anything over a 5/10 would have been enough to warrant the ridiculously low asking price...
    Edited by 1 at 01/07/09 @ 23:02

  • Stoatboy #38 3 years ago

    Playing through this at the moment. Loved BTDT. Anyone who wants any other AGS game recommendations should take a look at Nelly Cootalot. It's really rather lovely.

    Info:
    [link url=http://nelly.johnsen design.info/
    ]http://nelly.johnsen design.info/
    [/link]

    Download:
    http://th emonkeyhut.tripod.com/NellyDown...

  • Rack #39 3 years ago

    BTDT was excellent, but the last puzzle in the demo of TGP just had me thinking "How the hell was I supposed to work that out?" Hopefully someone will do a decent walkthrough.

  • AlvySinger #40 3 years ago

    I know GriddleOctopus, so is it nepotism if I say, "cracking review of a cracking game."

    I'm currently playing it in a tidny window on my work laptop, with a word doc open just in case. Guerrila gaming at its finest.

  • speedofthepuma #41 3 years ago

    Played and completed BTDT this morning, I couldn't get it to work on my old laptop but this article reminded me to try again on the new model. Excellent stuff. I will be buying this game later today I would think.

  • GriddleOctopus #42 3 years ago

    Wow. I don't think I've ever seen a "-53" karma score before. It's practically a hole in the fabric of the internet!

  • smelly #43 3 years ago

    Why do people who write reviews for games websites consider themselves as "journalists" anyhow?

  • smelly #44 3 years ago

    >Eurogamer in giving a score other than 7/10 shocker!!!

    That's because no other game site has reviewed this yet...

  • StixxUK #45 3 years ago

    I've just started playing Ben there Dan that as a sort of demo for this (hadn't heard of it until now) and it's great.

    Nostalgia and modern humour. Really love it, proper feel-good gaming.

  • bbX1138 #46 3 years ago

    siro: "I'm wondering if it makes sense to play "Ben There, Dan That!" first? Is there a correlation? Is this the better game?"

    It does make sense, as BTDT is good and free, and it comes first, plot-wise; it's not necessary, though, as TGP's plot is relatively standalone, and has a sum-up of BTDT at the start. TGP is probably the better game, but try to make time for both!

  • dsmx #47 3 years ago

    That was a great game, for the price it's hard not to buy it. Fantastic value I got more hours out of it than I expected from just over 3 quid. Definately worth buying. Cheap way to end it though.

  • smelly #48 3 years ago

    Dunno why i got so many negatives regarding my "game reviewers arent journalists" comment.

    I could set up a website today, review games, give my opinion, etc. But that wouldnt make me a journalist.

    Itd make me a geek with a website who reviews games.

  • mrpsb #49 3 years ago

    Loved it, both games are fantastic. More please!

  • Razz #50 3 years ago

    Ah this is binky's game init? I loved the first one

  • IronCladChicken #51 3 years ago

    'The UK games community has got so tiny over the years'

    Gutted - & I thought it was larger than it had ever been too!