Theme Park DS Review

By Tom Bramwell Published 4 April, 2007

I theme to have played this before.

Version tested: DS

"The definition of insanity," my friend told me, as he stood on a petrol station forecourt watching me wrestle a wing mirror onto my car using packing tape and rubber bands, "is doing the same thing again and expecting a different result." "I seriously doubt that is the actual medical definition of insanity," I responded grumpily.

"But perhaps it applies to Theme Park DS!" I added, several hours later, continuing my unbroken streak of only thinking of something witty to say after the fact. Well, something to say, anyway. As to wit, your mileage may vary. Remember to check your mirrors.

Like a real theme park, the attraction of playing the '90s PC classic that helped make Peter Molyneux's Bullfrog such a household name (well, a stinky bedroom name) is being taken for a ride and enjoying it so much that you don't notice that you're standing in vomit, or being forced to click a tiny little arrow 43 times in a row to change a number. It's a management sim that involves building up a simple theme park while you're also juggling a range of variables, which determine how much money each bit makes and whether the people coming through the turnstyles have any fun. It's about as realistic as candy floss, but that's not something you'll be worried about.

'Theme Park DS' Screenshot 1

This is the little man who tells you how to do things. He never shuts up about sign posts.

Nor will the conversion cause you much concern. The DS version has been put together by EA's Japanese studio [it has one? - unaware Ed], which is a bit weird given the game's British pedigree, and the fact that the only developer left in Britain that EA doesn't employ is Peter Molyneux. Leaving that aside, these fellows must be given more work. Using the d-pad or face buttons to move the camera up, down, left and right, and the stylus as a replacement for the PC mouse, you're able to quickly lay down pathways, add a few rides, hire staff, and set about the business of squeezing margins and giving the people what the polls tell you they want. It's a welcome change from the fruits of the usual PC-to-DS conversion process, which seems to involve setting fire to your hair and then trying to put it out by hitting yourself repeatedly in the head with the development kit.

Information is shared across both screens, meaning that you're rarely overwhelmed. Your theme park usually sits on the touch-screen with an overhead map shown above, but clicking on ride options and other menus quickly swaps their positions so you can tweak things with the stylus.

A row of icons along the bottom of the screen allows easy access to placement tools, finance reports, staff pages and of course the all-important arrow icons that allow you to charge $71 for a Coke and add $100 to the admission price at the drop of a hat. The drop of a hat. Hat hat hat. The main problem with the interface is that the little arrow buttons are a bit small and fiddly to hit. You'll soon adjust though, and it's immediately easy to deploy new rides, sign-posts pointing to them, queueing areas, concession stands, workers and entertainers, and even the odd public convenience.

One slight peculiarity is the game's use of mini-games, like the one that involves negotiating with the trade unions. "Uh oh," says your little on-screen tutor, and he's right. Dragging a hand partway across the screen to try and meet at a mutually agreeable percentage doesn't even sound alright on paper. Fortunately it doesn't distract you too long from massaging profits, flicking obsessively between pages of easily-found information to work out where next to expand, or tapping on visitors trying to find out what they're thinking. Once you become proficient - and it won't take long, thanks to an effective tutorial - you can even play the stock market.

'Theme Park DS' Screenshot 3

Look! Sign posts! SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.

There are problems, but they're mostly 1994's fault. You can't rotate the camera around your park, meaning that it's impossible to see what's going on behind certain rides, while the repair men responsible for ride maintenance seem loath to actually do any work. Whether this is down to dodgy path-finding or not enough of our hard-working European neighbours coming in and doing our jobs better is unclear, largely because the DS sprites are fairly unremarkable. We also experienced graphical glitches here and there, including some intermittent flickering, and a visitor stuck in a sumo wrestler.

The bigger problem though is that Theme Park is so old that it's gotten all moody and started looking at girls' bums. PC owners have moved on to games like RollerCoaster Tycoon that allow you to assemble your own custom rides, and then moved on again to ones that let you actually ride around in them, too. Making a park in a sandbox mode and then doing it again one day isn't enough now, either: we need missions, variety. Being able to swap profiles using Wi-Fi is a nice touch, but we don't need to be touched, we need to be manhandled.

PC owners from the '90s wouldn't go back to boring old Theme Park now, much as they loved it at the time, because while they know that it's as good a port as you'll find outside my trusty hipflask, and an excellent timesink, they also know that if you go back on the strength of nostalgia you'll discover that it's one of those rare occasions where doing something again can bring about a different result. And so they play it safe and buy Slitherlink instead. Probably. Will you?

7 / 10

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Picture of Tom.

About Tom Bramwell

Tom is Operations director of Eurogamer Network and Editor-at-Large of Eurogamer.net. He joined the company in February 2000.

Read more articles from Tom by visiting the Tom Bramwell archive page.

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Comments (40) Latest comment 5 years ago

Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • DUFFMAN5 #1 5 years ago

    I loved this back in the day (not only does that read back pants it sounded so, when I typed it) So would I be better off getting this or sim city (is that out yet ?) I want a good strategy game for my DS. I also like the look of the Hotel one ? what to do!

  • krudster #2 5 years ago

    Oh noes! Reading!

  • pollster #3 5 years ago

    Hmm, sounds good. May have to pick this up. Hope they do a theme hospital too.

  • Hicksy #4 5 years ago

    The score's spot on I think. This is still a really neat little game and you will get a buzz out of the retro hit. Basically if you were a fan then you will be now too. But don't expect it to have been polished and ironed out as there are still little problems and you do have to micromanage to a high level which has been overcome by modern games.

  • AtomicBanana #5 5 years ago

    I want to avoid slitherlink now, just to spite you >_> lol

  • Carlo #6 5 years ago

    I've ordered this. I know what the game is like, only the platform it's running on has changed.

    Unless it suffers from severe slow-down, I think it'll make a great game for the DS, and my commute.

    Besides, what else am I going to play while I wait for Settlers ;)

  • afray #7 5 years ago

    The bigger problem though is that Theme Park is so old that it's gotten all moody and started looking at girls' bums.

    Er, I must be ancient then. :(

    EDIT: TAGS!
    Edited by 1 at 04/04/07 @ 08:43

  • alithebull #8 5 years ago

    i wish you lot would stop going on about slitherlink, i can't see it for sale anywhere!!!

  • DUFFMAN5 #9 5 years ago

    Owen-B, thank you. So what about Settlers, is that going to be good. Never played any, are they good.

  • Tomo #10 5 years ago

    Settlers was a cracking game. If the port is good, that's a winner. Theme Park tempts me, ever so slightly too. Partly to see how well the DS' features can be put to good use.

  • aldo_14 #11 5 years ago

    Heh, I've been playing both this and Theme Hospital (PC) lately, and enjoying both.

  • jonsaan #12 5 years ago

    Look. We know Slitherlink is good. Do you have to go on about it every time the DS is mentioned?

  • Xerx3s #13 5 years ago

    And so they play it safe and buy Slitherlink instead. Probably. Will you?

    No. I prefer to play good games.

  • Dizzy #14 5 years ago

    Sadly Rollercoaster Tycoon is the only Theme park sim I liked.

  • Benjaminos #15 5 years ago

    Also jumping on the "stop whoring out Slitherlink at every available opportunity" bandwagon - it's alright, but nowhere near as good as you make out. After finishing the first batch of 120 puzzles, I have a distinct non-urge to play it for some time to come.

  • harrisimo #16 5 years ago

    This game has already proved perfect for several train journeys. It's still very addictive. The negotiation mini game is pretty simple once you figure it out. Minus 10 percent pay rises ftw.

  • f00b_inc #17 5 years ago

    As for Slitherlink my Play-Asia order still hasn't shipped - I'm becoming less and less enthused..

  • The_Aardvark #18 5 years ago

    Meh. I wasted hours on this when it first came out, but somehow I can't look back on it with any affection at all. Now Theme Hospital, on the other hand...

  • asphaltcowboy #19 5 years ago

    I ordered Slitherlink last week and they haven't bloody sent it yet! :(

    I think I'll be waiting for SimCity :)

  • Lutz #20 5 years ago

    You don't need to keep clicking the arrows to change the price, hold the stylus on it and it goes much faster. Also, the graphical glitches are few and far between, and going elsewhere and back again is annoying. It's a superb game it's got to be said, but it could certainly do with a bit more polish. An explanation of what the difference between "short, medium and long term population" is would certainly be welcome, and also how inflation actually affects your park (Cos the negotiating actually affects your prices, not inflation)

    Still, minor faults aside, it's superb. I hope Sim City 2K is just as well made.

  • Lemming81 #21 5 years ago

    Let's put it this way, for those undecided:

    buy it, and it'll show the developers that this is how you do a PC port to the DS using the stylus (good result)

    Don't, and you'll get more crap like Zoo Tycoon DS.

  • Chtulie #22 5 years ago

    These guys should've ported the old Syndicate. Better then that console port for the PSP.

  • IAmBatman #23 5 years ago

    > As for Slitherlink my Play-Asia order still hasn't shipped

    Snap.

  • asphaltcowboy #24 5 years ago

    Yeah, it's bugging me! It's a present fgs! Give me preference!

  • dirigiblebill #25 5 years ago

    as good a port as you'll find outside my trusty hipflask

    /cries

  • Mageme #26 5 years ago

    I think it's actually ported well to DS; eons better than Zoo Tycoon.

    Granted it's sometimes difficult to manipulate (and see) some of the on-screen sprites but doesn't get into the realms of frustration.

    If you're a fan of the original or of building series, I'd recommend buying it.

    (And yes, they never shut up about sign posts! There's the exit you imbeciles, can't be that hard to find!!!)

  • jonchoo #27 5 years ago

    If the port stays faithful to the PC game but with excellent DS additions I would be getting this. Still wished they ported Theme Hospital instead.

  • Lutz #28 5 years ago

    Incidentally, if you put some signposts out for the exits, they stop moaning about it.

    Amazingly enough. :)

  • ED209 #29 5 years ago

    "Still wished they ported Theme Hospital instead."

    +11111!!!!!!11

  • Tomo #30 5 years ago

    I too would buy Theme Hospital: Doctors Surgery if it came to the DS. See what I did there?
    Edited by 1 at 04/04/07 @ 14:19

  • thegouldfish #31 5 years ago

    It's a great game, it was great way back when I played it on the Amiga 500+ (with the crap replacements for shops) and it's just as good on the DS.

    Hate to admit I'm waiting for settlers as well, if it's a straight settlers 2 port then it will be perfect.

  • Agent_Llama #32 5 years ago

    Settlers will be amazing. I played the original on my Amiga 500+ for goodness knows how long. Indeed, in my gaming 'career', I believe only FFVII, F1 '97 and SNES Mario Kart have been played for longer.

  • secombe #33 5 years ago

    I got it last week, spent years playing this in the 90s and the good news is that as soon as I picked the DS version up it felt 'right'.

    As with all 'old' games it seems harder than I remember it, but great fun all the same. Lovely intro as well, looked stunning on the DS screen.

    As a double bonus it also reminded me I still have Theme Hospital on my PC, so I dug that out, bumped the resolution up to 'High' (I couldn't do that originally!) and have spent hours on it.

  • Carrybagma #34 5 years ago

    I dunno about this. The "again and again" comment is pertinent - Is there really much replay value in this game? I've played it on the PC before, so what does the DS offer to anyone other than new players?

    I do hope Settlers offers something a bit new or different. It's been so long since I last played it though.

  • secombe #35 5 years ago

    so what does the DS offer to anyone other than new players?

    I played this as much as anyone 'back in the day' and I keep finding myself playing the DS version.

    I think being able to play a very good conversion of one of my favourite games on a portable system (i.e. on the train, bus etc) is enough for me. I'm very grateful that it doesn't offer anything different, chances are it would have ruined a very well balanced game.

  • pollster #36 5 years ago

    @Carrybagma

    I played Theme Hospital on and off for about 7 years. I've spent so many hours on it. Unfortunatley I never finished it because of the bugs! People getting stuck, doors disappearing etc. Such a shame! :(

  • squaylor #37 5 years ago

    This seems like the perfect time filler before Sim City DS comes out in the Summer...

  • Gavin2k7 #38 5 years ago

    y dus on the negotiation bit of the game it sounds lyk a craklin fuzzy sound if any1 knows plz tel me

  • Verwandlung #39 5 years ago

    If they convert Dungeon keeper and Syndicate properly i'd buy a DS..
    Edited by 1 at 05/04/07 @ 21:43

  • otto #40 5 years ago

    Oh God, Dungeon Keeper DS, that would be so amazing... :o