Virtual Console Roundup Review
Wii Review by Dan Whitehead
Move along, nothing to see here. No, seriously. This may be the least interesting Virtual Console selection yet uploaded. But...er...do keep reading. That's very important. There'll be some crap jokes, and biscuits at the end. That's worth sticking around for, even if a dusty old pinball sim and a rebranded puzzle game don't quite get the heart pounding. That's right. Sit back down again. Relax. The biscuits will be here soon.
Kirby's Ghost Trap
Platform: SNES
Wii Points: 800
In Real Money: £5.60 (8 Euros) approx.
If you live beyond the glittering gates of the PAL territory, you probably know this block-droppin' puzzler as Kirby's Avalanche. Of course, you may also know it as Puyo Puyo, since this (much like the near-identical Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine on the Megadrive) is simply a rebranded version of the colourful Japanese classic.
For those who've somehow managed to avoid this ubiquitous puzzle game, it's a competitive twist on Tetris in which you race against a rival, either human or CPU, to join up four or more colour-coded ghosts (or "wobbly blobs", if you want to be picky) as they drop from the top of the screen. Success in creating chains dumps translucent ghosts on your opponent's side of the screen, which can only be removed by creating more chains and blowing them up.
It's a decent arcade puzzler, as its longevity proves, though I've always found it a little too hectic and random to allow for any serious strategic play. Even playing at normal difficulty, foes are soon moving and matching blobs at a disconcerting pace. Capcom would refine the formula with Puzzle Fighter and, simply by giving the player control over when chains are triggered, created something far deeper and richer in gameplay. Here, it's more of a mad scramble to create as many chains of four of you can with whatever you have, with little incentive to plot several moves ahead.
But it's still fun, especially with a human friend or exceptionally well-trained pet, and the game makes good use of the SNES technology with crisp sprites and impressively clear speech samples. If it weren't for Nintendo's bafflingly rigid pricing structure, it'd definitely be worth a download. But it's a SNES game, which means it must cost 800 points - around £5.60 or 8 Euros. It seems weird to quibble over such low prices but, when judged alongside similar games, it's just enough to shunt this gently away from the impulse purchase zone and into the fenced paddock marked "only for the fans".
7/10
Devil's Crush
Platform: TurboGrafx-16
Wii Points: 600
In Real Money: £4.20 (6 Euros) approx.
Not, sadly, a satanic soft drink. That would be Beelzebubbles - now in a sulphur free diet version! Mmmm. No, Devil's Crush is a sequel to Alien Crush and, even though it was released in Japan and Europe as Devil Crash, it's arrived on the Euro VC under its American title.
It's also a pinball game.
To be more precise, it's a pinball game from that mid-console period when publishers believed that nobody would play a game unless you were killing stuff and toppling some monstrous foe. Thus your flipper actions are used to attack wandering monsters, with the ultimate aim of hitting all the right bumpers to defeat demons by ramming silver balls into their faces over and over again.
As 1990 pinball games go, it ain't bad - the ball physics are workable enough (for the period, at least) and it doesn't bother you up with unfair ball traps. There is, however, one major drawback. There's only one table. Admittedly it is a table with secret bits and - to quote the original box blurb - it is THREE SCREENS HIGH!!! but for the asking price you'd really expect at least three tables, which seems to be the pinball game minimum. One table, particularly on a game you can't sample before paying, means that if you don't like the layout (which is a tad bland) then the game has nothing else to offer.
Devil's Crush is at least better than Sonic Spinball, also available on the VC, but nowhere near the majesty of Pinball Dreams, which isn't. If you're absolutely hellbent on owning an aging emulated pinball game on your Wii then, hey, go for it. Personally, with such a broad spectrum of great games to choose from, I can't really see why this has wormed its way to the top of the upload heap.
5/10
Oh, and Billy? Remember when I said there'd be biscuits at the end? I lied.
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Comments: 1-33 of 33 in total
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souljacker2000
27/07/07 @ 14:36
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Lol i like the way you made that last more than a few lines
Id of just said ' loada shite' |
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"Here, it's more of a mad scramble to create as many chains of four of you can with whatever you have, with little incentive to plot several moves ahead."
??? Now, I'm rubbish at Puyo Puyo, but I do know that the key to winning is to construct huge combos. Resist completing that row of four, but balance the final piece so that it'll connect when the pieces below blow. The trick is to launch the combo before your opponent prevents it with one of their own. However, it's true that Super Puzzle Fighter is better. PS it was worth reading for the well trained pet gag.
Edited 1 times,
most recently on 27/07/07 @ 16:34
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DanWhitehead
27/07/07 @ 16:17
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Now, I'm rubbish at Puyo Puyo, but I do know that the key to winning is to construct huge combos. Resist completing that row of four, but balance the final piece so that it'll connect when the pieces below blow.
The trick is to launch the combo before your opponent prevents it with one of their own. The problem is that, even on the normal difficulty, the CPU is throwing combinations around at ridiculous speed by the time you reach the second opponent. It's not impossible to beat, but its a lot less fun than it should be because you're on the defensive right from the start. As I said, it's much better with two players. Pro Evo 6 only has ONE SHAPE OF PITCH. It's RUBBISH. Football = pinball? A better analogy for Devil's Crush would be a football game with only two teams. |
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Rev. Stuart Campbell
27/07/07 @ 17:02
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Why do pinball games always suffer this ridiculous criticism? Real pinball machines have only one table, and Devil Crush's "single" table is considerably more complex than any real-life pinball. Halo only has one storyline. Football games don't let you play six-a-side or park kickabout rules. Gran Turismo doesn't include hoverbikes. Virtua Tennis doesn't also feature squash.
Pinball is a high score game. The object is to get a high score. There is absolutely no inherent logical reason why pinball titles should have more than one game included per release when no other genre is expected to. The one sole excuse you could possibly come up with for demanding it might be on value/longevity grounds, which would be dubious anyway but is especially absurd when the game costs about four quid. |
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DanWhitehead
27/07/07 @ 18:27
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Not only are you grossly misrepresenting my review - I never once said the game was "RUBBISH" - but you're using some really weak comparisons.
Hoverbikes? Squash? These might be relevant if I'd said that Devil's Crush is of average value because it doesn't have any fruit machines, but that's not the case. If a racing game only had one car and one track, would that matter? After all, it's just about coming first, right? If a football game only offered two teams, would that impact on the enjoyment of seeing who can score the most goals? Does it matter if an FPS only has one gun and one level? And while you only get one table in real life, this isn't real life. It's a simulation of pinball, and is therefore capable of offering more - as most pinball games do. In fact I'd argue that a large part of the appeal of computer pinball, apart from chasing high scores, is that you get a selection of tables to try out. I like pinball, in reality and virtuality, and honestly found the table in Devil's Crush to be pretty dull, underneath all the spooky gimmickery, and it certainly isn't more complex than most real life tables. I scored it accordingly. As I clearly said in the review, it's decent enough for its vintage - but nothing particularly amazing. There are better pinball games out there, and modern gamers will expect more than this game offers. Given that they're unable to trial the game before paying for it, I don't think its that outrageous to point this out. And, as I said in the Kirby review, it is a bit silly to quibble too much over value when games are this cheap, but you only have to look at the comments under most news stories about Live Arcade, VC or PSN Store to see that lots of readers do care about getting value with these downloads. Like Chuck Moseley, they care a lot. Perhaps even more than they do with full price games which, yeah, is pretty weird. But if someone has just topped up their Wii Points, and only has enough to download maybe four or five new games, then each purchase matters and it would be lazy of me to fall back on the "it's less than a fiver, so who cares about longevity" defense. |
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Googly eyes
27/07/07 @ 19:38
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A nice little Devil's Crash website - http://www.slateman.net/dc/
Dull it ain't. Digital Pinball: Necronomicon is the only pinball video game I can think of that's better.
Edited 1 times,
most recently on 27/07/07 @ 20:38
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Rev. Stuart Campbell
27/07/07 @ 19:57
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The "RUBBISH" thing was a joke, obviously.
And of course DC is more complex than most real-life pinball tables. It's got targets running around, secret extra bonus tables, things exploding and goodness knows what. I've converted over 100 real pins to Visual Pinball and played hundreds more, and even created my own table from scratch, and I know a complex table when I see one. I'm just fucking sick of seeing the same two feeble criticisms aimed at pinball games (the other one being "Oh, but pinball is all about the real-life physical element and being in the pub and nudging it and it's pointless and stupid on computers and I like beer and girls and EVERYTHING"), and am a bit disappointed to hear one of them from one of EG's best reviewers. It's not a simulation of a multi-table arcade. It's a pinball videogame, doing things that no real pinball could do, with a unified theme, and is complete in its own right. Demanding several other complete games be thrown in is such an unfair, made-up criticism that it pisses me off, because it only seems to be pinball games that are subjected to it. Pretty much EVERY game would be better if there were two or three times as much of it, so why pick on pinballs? 200 minigames in Wario Ware? But you could fit 500 or 1000 in there! Cheapskates! Points off! Oh, and racing games with one track? Ridge Racer and Sega Rally seemed quite popular a fair while later than DC, as I recall. |
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crazyhorse174
27/07/07 @ 21:10
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Isn't that just Dr. Robotniks Mean Bean Machine?!?!
Ahh yes....Rip off! Isnt DRMBM just a rip-off of Puyo Puyo? |
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Here's something no one seems to have noticed about Kirby Avalanche/Ghost Trap: Yes, it is identical in every way other than theme to Dr Robotniks Mean Bean Machine - which is also available on the VC. Except (and this is the point no one seems to have made so far,) DRMBM is 600 points rather than 800, and can be played with just a Wii remote, whereas Kirby's Ghost Trap requires either a classic controller or Gamecube controller - this point is more significant when you consider multiplayer.
In other words, unless you have a Kirby fetish, buy Dr Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine. A smart shopper is a happy shopper!
Edited 2 times,
most recently on 28/07/07 @ 04:21
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Rev. Stuart Campbell
28/07/07 @ 08:10
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Well, for a start neither Dreams nor Fantasies had four "excellent" tables. You're saying Ignition, for example, was "excellent"? But the Pinball Dreams series - some of my favourite games ever, incidentally - are a terrible comparison. They're completely different kinds of game, simulating basic electromechanical 70s/80s-era pins, where DC is a pinball videogame, doing all sorts of things that a real-life pinball couldn't. You might as well compare Forza 2 with Super Mario Kart.
Also, if you include all the screens in the game, DC actually does have at least as much total pinball playfield as PD. And lastly, DC is a completely original work, where PD simply featured severely cut-down clones of four real-life pins. It easily justifies the same price. (Oh, and three tables isn't "the minimum". The Pro Pinball series was very successful with one table per release, and many other popular releases have had one or two tables. Don't make me type a list.) Remind me again, how many marks did Tomb Raider Legend get deducted for the fact that it can be finished in one afternoon with almost zero replay value?
Edited 2 times,
most recently on 28/07/07 @ 09:15
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Rev. Stuart Campbell
28/07/07 @ 12:20
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Anyone who posts in a thread to moan about how stupid and trivial it is to post in a thread is a Grade "A" Cuntbubble.
That's proper Science, that is. |
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Rev. Stuart Campbell
28/07/07 @ 23:17
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Yeah. What could be more absurd than arguing about a game on the comments thread for a review of that game?
Jeesh. |
Comments: 1-33 of 33 in total
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