Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Review

By Tom Bramwell Published 16 April, 2004

Remember the Turtles? Sure you do - they were popular back when this sort of game was only vaguely annoying.

Version tested: PlayStation 2

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, is it? Ah well. It's easy to get indignant about yet another ticked box on a list of '80s TV shows to plunder, but it's such an inevitability in the current creative vacuum that there's a temptation to just roll with it and see what happens. So we decided we would. Just this once. It only took us until the Konami logo disappeared to realise our mistake, but by then it was too late - we were caught up in an introductory sequence of such piercing dreadfulness that it took us a full 30 seconds afterwards to regain our senses and stem the flood of tears gushing from our disbelieving eyes.

Duuuuuude...

'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Screenshot 1

Fortunately, the actual game is less of an affront to the senses, preferring instead to harness ancient mechanics and repeat them until you're so bored that not even an adrenalin shot to the heart would restore your desire to continue breathing. It is basically Golden Axe in 3D, or in fact any other scrolling beat-'em-up of that era (including the long-forgotten TMNT arcade game) in 3D, except not as good as that sounds (if it even sounds good). It's exactly the mechanic you're thinking of - fighting wave after wave of enemies until they disappear, and then moving onto the next screen - except the linear, painted wall-levels can go up and down as well as left and right. What an age it is we live in!

TMNT is basically a game made by people who seem to have discovered 21st century technology, but haven't got past about 1991 in terms of game design. It's a scrolling beat-'em-up made up of six stages, each consisting of overlong individual levels full of identikit enemies, exploding barrels (which you can vaguely send careening around with practice), and all manner of other staples of the old-fashioned genre. Remember arrows with "GO!" written on them? They're back. Remember those revitalising hams in dustbins and barrels? Say hello to pizza in crates!

The idea is simply that you (and up to one friend - as opposed to three in the arcade original) pick your favourite turtle and then journey through each stage slashing at everything in sight with your basic attack moves (weak and strong weapon attacks, an uppercut and a sweep move), vanquish the boss at the end and then celebrate your high score. If you run out of continues during any level of a particular stage, even right at the final hurdle, you have to start again from the very beginning of the stage. Ulp.

Zeroes in a half-shell

'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Screenshot 2

Apart from some occasional level-specific features (like timing-based crusher puzzles, or an easily dodged circular saw), it's a game devoid of any noteworthy variety, where you've seen everything of consequence within the first half an hour. You do unlock a couple of new abilities in the occasional Dojo Stage, but they're not exactly going to impress your mates - a jump attack, for example, which lets you, um, attack while jumping. Apparently the Ninja Turtles can only perform this incredible attack - surely comparable to the Herculean feat of walking while chewing gum - after intense training under the watchful eye of master ninja Splinter. Elsewhere, some of the biggest robotic enemies explode violently instead of just fading away, giving you the chance to line up some tactical chain reaction kills, and you can make use of the odd shuriken to vary proceedings, but the former is hardly a saving grace, while the shurikens might as well be shoddy plastic merchandise for all the damage they do.

With nothing except the odd enjoyable cartoon cut sequence or sub-SF2 smash-'em-up bonus stage to break things up, you'll probably lose interest in the combat within an hour or so of picking up the pad, whichever turtle you decide to use. It doesn't help that each level is just a procession of wave after wave of identikit enemies, none of whom is capable of any real tactics or intelligence, preferring instead to ignore you until you move within a certain distance and then periodically launch into attack mode and hope to catch you at a vulnerable angle. Which they do with irritating ease thanks to the lack of a block function.

It also doesn't help that the only real threat is greater numbers of enemies, or that the difficulty curves violently upwards after a while - by spawning greater numbers of enemies (often right in front of your eyes, literally out of puffs of smoke), until your previously bounteous extra lives barely last you to the halfway point of a stage without hours of practice. For a game that you could plough through in about ten minutes if you just had to see every individual element once, the extra repetition is yet another aspect that doesn't help.

The hard cel

'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Screenshot 3

If there's something to like about TMNT, it's probably the visuals. The clean-cut, cel-shaded style is backed up by some fairly nice lighting effects, and on the whole there's the right amount of street furniture dotted around to stave off the sensation of running down pointless corridors. Some locations let the team down somewhat - like the junkyard - but the XIII-style overlaying of THOK! and CRASH! and the like across the top of combat helps to build up a good-looking cartoon action scene whatever the background. Pity the decent animations don't get decent collision detection to match, mind.

Sadly though there isn't much else to commend here. The soundtrack and sound effects are utterly dire - you won't believe how annoying a simple "OK" button noise can become - and although you could argue there's lots of replay value here, you'd have to convince us that it's worth bothering with in the first place before we paid attention. There's a Vs mode, but the limited combat and 3D environments don't lend themselves particularly well there either.

Played co-operatively, TMNT isn't quite so hateful, and could quite happily fill an evening - as long as you can find something interesting to talk about over the top - but the lack of four-player support is just another nail in the coffin. Then again, multi-taps were uncommon back when the ideas behind TMNT were actually conceived, and a four-port console was unheard of, so perhaps this is just some warped vision of consistency...

April showers (actually she doesn't)

To be fair, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles isn't a badly made game. Everything it sets out to do, it does. It's not bad because it's unplayable. It's bad because everything it sets out to do feels 15 years old, or frustrating and repetitive. All you do is mow down endless waves of respawning enemies packed in between invisible walls, and then shuffle on to the next section and do the exact same thing. It has the same impact now that a Doom engine first-person shooter would have if it were to go up against Half-Life 2. It's also one of those increasingly rare occasions where you imagine the Game Boy Advance game probably isn't all that different to the console version.

Ironically, in climbing into bed with the folks behind the current Turtles revival, Konami has resorted the exact same tactic - recycling an old recipe in the hope of spinning a few quid out of the hapless or nostalgic punter. It's a feat of dastardliness worthy of the Shredder himself, and hopefully just as ill fated as anything he ever dreamt up.

3 / 10

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Picture of Tom.

About Tom Bramwell

Tom is Operations director of Eurogamer Network and Editor-at-Large of Eurogamer.net. He joined the company in February 2000.

Read more articles from Tom by visiting the Tom Bramwell archive page.

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Comments (37) Latest comment 8 years ago

Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • binky #1 8 years ago

    i was looking forward to this......


    damn

  • Blerk #2 8 years ago

    Turtles r0xx0r, dude!

    Shame the game's bobbins, really. :-)

  • Royal Fool #3 8 years ago

    The new cartoon series are a great revival of the old series, it's just that this game suffers from lack of innovative design and the fact that it's primarily designed for the PS2. (2-player only, that is)

  • Blerk #4 8 years ago

    I like the new cartoons better than the old series.

  • martyngates #5 8 years ago


    did anyone remember the snes game turtles in time, that was great in its day (witht he fzero rip off level)

    sounds like i may as well download that rom and play it on zsnes

  • Mugwum Verified Operations Director, Eurogamer Network #6 8 years ago

    "Aren't the Lord of the Rings games almosts identical gameplay wise? Goldenaxe with a massive glistening knobs on? What kind of review did they get?"

    Perhaps they are (I've not played them), but the difference would be that TMNT doesn't have any knobs on. It literally is Golden Axe in polygons, except, well, it doesn't have those dragon wotsits. Or the pixies.

  • renzo #7 8 years ago

    I pimp Konami at every chance I get, but it's times like these when they just make me look stupid. I'm really not looking forward to EG's Firefighter F.D 18, Cy Girls, and Lifeline reviews. :)

  • Dizzy #8 8 years ago

    Golden Axe rules!
    But yeah.... if the game has no thieves to kick or dragons to ride count me out ;)

    Just confirms that Konami is TEH SHIT3 at the moment. Damn, what are these guys smoking?

  • binky #9 8 years ago

    ahhh sod it, im gonna rent it LOL

  • Mugwum Verified Operations Director, Eurogamer Network #10 8 years ago

    "I'm really not looking forward to EG's Firefighter F.D 18, Cy Girls, and Lifeline reviews."

    Cy Girls would be a hard one to review. I mean, it's so appalling that you'd have to struggle to convey everything that was bad about it. If I had to name two things I hated about it though, I'd go for the faux-MGS presentation and the "analogue" movement, which basically consists of creeping and then running full pelt when you move the stick out from the centre more than a fraction.

  • Blerk #11 8 years ago

    I liked GameCentral's review of Firefighter FD18 this morning. You fight boss battles! Against 'boss' fires! And they scream when you kill them!

    Classic stuff!

  • Abscido #12 8 years ago

    How does it compare to the arcade classic Tom? I adored that game, ever since I accidentally put five pound coins into one of its machines, instead of the intended five 10p coins! Heh, that was literally my whole 'holiday' money at the time. Anyway, I completed it as a result and went on to do so a bunch of times in the future.


    But anyway, does it have the same charm? (albeit with the same, age-old gameplay too!)

  • Razz #13 8 years ago

    Binky: ME TOO! I really thought this would as good as the SNES original. Can't these d00ds get anything right nowadays! :/

  • Kami #14 8 years ago

    *snigger*

    I'm sorry... I had a feeling this would be crap. The new TV series is absolutely dreadful... can't see what my nephew sees in it.

    Almost completely raped my memories of the series and pretty-fun first two films (the third was just a pi$$-take). It's just brainless. It's gone from having a point and being very good on the story side, to being close to DragonBall Z, that is - lots of fighting, no real cohesive plot.

    But thats what the kids of today want... which is sad really...

  • CunningLinguist #15 8 years ago

    Eat feet! Man does that get annyoing after a while or what?

  • slider271 #16 8 years ago

    I played the GC demo of this which came with the US Mario Kart a while ago, and it really is depressingly repetitive. I was numb by the end of the demo which was only one or two levels, and the contant repeating of a couple of speech samples when you do certain moves will have you turning the sound down in no time.

    There's definitely the possibility of a decent TMNT game if someone used something larger than a postage stamp when writing the game design, but this ain't it.

  • Abscido #17 8 years ago

    "I'm sorry... I had a feeling this would be crap. The new TV series is absolutely dreadful... can't see what my nephew sees in it."


    Uggghh, tell me about it. It's a hollow, hollow attempt at cashing in on a fun franchise. It's utterly soulless. Pity.

    Then again, most of the cartoons out these days are far better than what was on during the early 90s. A lot of them are actually better written than many adult, live-action series.

  • Kami #18 8 years ago

    "Uggghh, tell me about it. It's a hollow, hollow attempt at cashing in on a fun franchise. It's utterly soulless. Pity."

    Turtles used to be a bankable franchise. The games were actually pretty good fun as far as I can recall. The cartoons watchable by kids and adults alike. I look at it now and it reminds me that kids today are nothing like the early nineties... kids today don't WANT to think. They want soulless, they want braindead... they don't WANT a story, they want violence, they want people to get beaten up.


    I guess, in that respect, this game delivers all that and more...

  • Daryoon #19 8 years ago

    I sit firmly on the side of "The new series is actually rather good" It's actually based on the original comics, has proper on-going plots and lacks all the OTT silliness of the original (which is both a good -and- bad thing).

    Does this game feature manholes that, well you fall down them (usually about 25 times in a row) the turtle wails "duh, who put the lights out?"

    Surely a 'classic' arcade sample, up there with "Blue Wizard shot the food!"

  • Kami #20 8 years ago

    Problem I see Daryoon, is by doing that the filler is senseless violence. All the old episodes were complete stories, some did go on for a few episodes but it seemed to have POINT. There was a method to the madness.

    And WTF is up with Baxter? Umm... did I miss something?


    The thing with OTT sillyness is IT DEFINED THAT ERA! Power Rangers to Turtles, OTT was the way to be. We lapped it up. It's cringe-worthy today, but at it's time, we wanted that.


    That said, I plan to do an experiment this weekend... I know I got a couple of old Turtles videos in the attic... ok. I got loads. Me and my brothers LOVED turtles as kids. I'll dig 'em out and see how my nephew reacts to them...

  • Abscido #21 8 years ago

    "... kids today don't WANT to think. They want soulless, they want braindead... they don't WANT a story, they want violence, they want people to get beaten up."

    Actually, I'd argue strongly against that statement. I still enjoy watching cartoons and kids programs, and the likes of Pokémon and Yu-gi-oh have a lot more depth to them than, say, DBZ (which is still fun). I don't think kids want to be challenged by these shows, but they certainly don't want violence and nothing more.

    However, I do think kids enjoy *conflict* more than they used to. The shows that seem to do best are ones that pit fighters/animals against each other. Personally, I don't think this is representative of violence-loving children, but of children that are appreciating grander themes than we used to - like defiance, indepependence, self-sacrifice and so on. Usually, these fights tend to have some sort of moral implications to them, which is more than the original TMNT series ever did.

    Ahem. Then again, maybe it's just the violence after all.

  • Daryoon #22 8 years ago

    That's the original Baxter you've got not - the blondie geek in the old cartoons was nothing like the one from the original comics. And there is a lot of fighting, true, but considering the source material...

    And to compare it to DBZ is unfair. With DBZ a single fight lasts about 10 episodes, only to end with both parties 'powering up' and fighting for -another- 10 episodes...

  • Kami #23 8 years ago

    Possibly it is unfair. But something has been lost in the new Turtles... something I can't put my finger on.


    I still stick by "kids love violence". Thats an observation of my nephew and my niece. My niece is now seven - and she has been suspended and expelled from school for trying to repeat moves she saw on WWE. (And, I hasten to add, that is not uncommon. My brother had to wear a collar for six weeks when a kid tried to do a move he saw The Rock do. It's not new, and it's not uncommon...). My nephew is undergoing intensive councilling after he jabbed a pencil in his best friends - well, we'll not go there... (Not to mention he thinks he can do a Spirit Bomb... I think thats why he's going through councilling...).

    In my experience? Kids are getting more violent. Whether thats down to TV, or the world today with TV just offering a means of sating that feeling - kids really are violent today. I don't know why. Maybe we're a lot more accepting of violence these days, that when a child punches someone we don't ground them but encourage such behaviour at times - when 9 times out of ten it was a petty squabble or just sheer bullying... self defence or not, at school you were put in detention. These days, teachers and even parents can't discipline or even ground kids - children today are bright enough to know some semblance of law and really punish parents and teachers who don't do what they want...

    Maybe thats something for a Moral Maze discussion... hmm...


    But yeah. Turtles now... I dunno. It has lost something. I dunno what. Original comic strip or not, the 90's series just seems a lot better. I again agree with dubbing the new series "soulless". Because theres no other word that I know of that better describes it...

  • caligari #24 8 years ago

    No really…I guess I’m rather (insert upset word here) as well. But still, let us all HOPE that they bring out a great new game based on the AWESOME old Ghostbuster’s cartoon. I have NO IDEA why they suddenly would…but still…we can hope right? JESUS, I just want a game where I actually get to fry the Marshmallow Man *sob*.

  • Kami #25 8 years ago

    And based on the ORIGINAL, not the Extreme Ghostbusters, which while good, just seemed to miss the point entirely...

    Actually, I always liked it when Janine got to kick some ghostly backside...

  • Abscido #26 8 years ago

    "kids really are violent today. I don't know why."


    Well, I suppose I was referring more to kids between the age of 10-14. In my limited experience, kids pre-10 are just full of physical energy, which tends to manifest itself in aggressive acts more often than, say, creative acts. They have very little else to focus on at that age. I don’t think that’s anything to worry about unless it still exists in their teen years.

    As for kids above the age of ten, I think they’re just spoilt - just as I was myself. Not just in a material sense, but in their sense of security too. For the most part, they don’t have to worry about sickness, hunger, war or survival. Not so long ago, such things were practically *all* children could afford to focus on.
    In my opinion, modern kids are being brought up with too much leisure stimulation, and not enough ‘real life’ stimulation. As a result, sometimes they’re frustrated and don’t even know why.


    Wait ... what am I doing, isn’t this supposed to be an EG thread ;).

  • Xinch #27 8 years ago

    Where are the M0t0rb1k3s.

  • Kami #28 8 years ago

    Good point.

    I also think kids today - both young and just over 10 - also like a bit of danger. And they are inspired as well - both by TV and by films and other things. They like to re-enact stuff. It maight be how they define what is acceptable or not.


    It is sad that violence is the easiest form of expression though...

    Yeah, back to Turtles, methinks...
    Edited by 1 at 16/04/04 @ 16:26

  • funk #29 8 years ago

    1) i knew this game would be crap, i think its because i read a preview of it
    2) i agree about the new turtles cartoon being crap, i don't like the colours, the voices, or the way they behave, its ungood
    that said, i tend to dislike rehashing old things

  • funk #30 8 years ago

    actually, extreme ghostbuster wasn't -that- bad
    obviously the original real ghostbusters was better, but after the adaptation period extreme was bareable

    don't want any games based on extreme, for sure, probably already is one though

  • martyngates #31 8 years ago

    fortunately it looks like it came and went without anyone noticing

    Extreme Ghostbusters

    http://shop.game.net/ViewProduct.aspx?cat=1&mid=304030

    if anyone wants to tell me how do do links itd be greatly appreciated
    Edited by 3 at 17/04/04 @ 10:13

  • AOFanboi #32 8 years ago

    Just use a normal HTML A-element

  • 3william56 #33 8 years ago

    Bl**dy young 'uns. All they want is shows with endless, repetitive, senseless, over-the top, violent, stylised kung fu, and no discernible plot. There's no way us adults would ever go for something like that.

    /watches Kill Bill Vol 1 on DVD/

    Er... B*gger.

  • Kami #34 8 years ago

    /watches Kill Bill Vol 1 on DVD/

    Yeah... err... bugger. Asked for that one...

    Besides, adults know that we'd NEVER get away with such things... kids don't...

  • Retroid #35 8 years ago

    Played the demo of this on the OPS2 demo disk.

    Utter crap. Those repetitive voice samples are really sodding annoying!

    Tell you something, too... I fired up my JAMMA cab with the original arcade game PCB installed in it and it's a lot more fun; esp, the intro!

    "Hang on April!" \o/

  • #36 8 years ago

    Turtles in Time on SNES..... ahhh .. SWEETNESS!

  • v!ncent #37 8 years ago

    hope this is as fun game as it look. i would like to play it soon when is it out can someone tell me?
    he he he *laughs*
    Edited by 1 at 16/05/04 @ 21:36

  • v!ncent #38 8 years ago

    hope this is as fun game as it look. i would like to play it soon when is it out can someone tell me?
    he he he *laughs*