Returning after a week's unplanned hiatus (read: Tom's computer broke), Quotes of the Week is a questionably named digest of some of the things we've been told or heard said or read off that Internet, complete with sarcastic and occasionally amusing spin that makers us look clever/like wankers depending on your perspective. Enjoy!
"Microsoft owns football!" Microsoft's Chris Lewis gets excited about FIFA and PES' next-gen exclusivity on Xbox 360. Microsoft also owns a giant spinning granite water wheel, which proved bewitching in Leipzig this week - we nearly fell off it, but don't tell anyone. (Link)
"It's just sort of classic Valve being overly aggressive on our dates." Valve's Doug Lombardi explains what happened to the Christmas target for Half-Life: Episode Two. (Link)
"Frank Lampard has a very strong shot as an attribute, and his trait is his tendency to shoot from distance." And don't we bloody know it. EA's Hugues Ricour on the sorts of player-attributes the next-gen FIFA AI pays attention to. (Link)
"You can't stop peer-to-peer file sharing, so the best route to combat it is to subvert it." We'd expect nothing less from Introversion's Tom Arundel, one of the coding genii behind Uplink, Darwinia and DEFCON. (Link)
"What if we have something that needs to be dealt promptly, a bug that's causing crashes? On PC, we make it, we test it, we deploy it. On console, we could be waiting for days, because you've got to submit and test it. And if they don't like something, we've got to go back to the drawing board." Blizzard's Paul Sams explains one of the reasons the developer's reluctant to put its resources behind a console version of World of Warcraft.
"When you look at Battle.net and you look at the subscribership we have with World of Warcraft, even Xbox Live is not even close to us." There's that too. (Link)
"I've realised I'm an incredibly lazy person when I play games, and actually slouching back on the sofa, playing on my beer belly, is my most comfortable position. When I have to get up, it's painful. I make noises and start grunting." The day we get tired of listening to Peter Molyneux is... well, we haven't come across it yet. (Link)
"At this new price point of EUR 129, the market leading PlayStation 2 should remain the computer entertainment system of choice for an even wider and more diverse audience for many years to come." SCEE president David Reeves trumpets the latest PS2 price cut. (Link)
"Still don't want one!" EG reader Aurifex with the comedy first-comment juxtaposition. Fortunately for Sony, 100 million or so people have felt differently in the past.
"No legal action has happened." Grid Wars programmer Mark Incitti comments on suggestions that the Geometry Wars-inspired PC title is gone for good because Microsoft and Bizarre put the frighteners on. (Link)
"Sorry, but we cannot comment on legal matters." Apparently Microsoft's definition of legal matters includes non-existent ones, too. Crossed wires somewhere, perhaps.
"One of the reasons I've joined Midway is to turn that 1 per cent into 7 per cent in about three years' time, and then punch into the low teens by the end of this technology cycle." Sounds like Midway's Al King's a fan of Eurogamer's favourite extra-curricular activity. It's the affected limp that incites us. *THWACK*
"We've got teensy little penguins sliding around on ice. Then we've got characters ripping each others' hearts and spines out. And we've also got high art, cinematic, next-generation stuff with Stranglehold.... I think we've got all the bases covered." Sounds like everything to us! (Link)
"Wilkommen!" Eurogamer.de launches at Leipzig. Lovely people too. Thanks for all the beer, guys! (Link)
If you've spotted something you reckon belongs in Quotes of the Week, then why not email us? You might win a prize. Send your suggestions to firstname.lastname@example.org, marked "Quotes of the Week".