Double Dragon Review

By Mathew Kumar Published 12 May, 2007

Arcade-perfect for all the wrong reasons.

Version tested: Xbox 360

Hands up if you remember when "arcade-perfect" meant something.

If you remember running home with a copy of Your Sinclair, Zzap64 or Amstrad Action from your newsagents each month, ready to pour over the month's news about the latest arcade conversions, it's pretty amazing to think how far we've come. After all, not only do we no longer have to patiently wait each month for the latest videogames news, it's beamed directly into our houses using magic wires. And, in a move that would quite potentially break my brain in 1987, you can now get a literally arcade-perfect conversion of Double Dragon by doing little more than hitting a few buttons on your Xbox 360 (and stumping up 400 points, natch).

Of course, arcade-perfect doesn't really account for much these days - Double Dragon notably received a conversion to the GBA in 2003 that actually improved on the original, with new cut-scenes, moves and extra levels. Faced with that kind of competition, a merely arcade-perfect conversion starts to sound pretty ropey - but wait! Razorworks has gone the extra mile by... slightly improving the graphics!

'Double Dragon' Screenshot 1

The legendary introduction sequence, with the sucker punch just about to connect. The 'Le' part of 'Le Matin' is just off screen, I swear

Massively better than the always-awful graphical enhancements that Digital Eclipse saddles its Xbox Live Arcade conversions with, the new 'high def' Double Dragon graphics are unsettlingly ugly. Exactly the same as the original graphics except smoothed and sharpened to remove any pixilation, they're at least authentic, and any detractors of the enhanced graphics can be satisfied with the option to play the game in its original form, though they'll be forced to admit that they game was terrifically ugly to begin with.

The story of Billy and Jimmy Lee is a simple one. While busy running the international edition of French newspaper Le Matin from their garage in post apocalyptic New York (next door to a shop that sells the extracted tears of Englishmen) Billy and Jimmy overlook Billy's girlfriend, Marian, long enough to let her get brutally punched in the stomach and kidnapped by "the Black Warriors" who clearly took issue with Marian's scandalously short skirt. Or at least that's what I've managed to come up with based on the opening cut-scene. It's obviously up to Billy and Jimmy to fight their way through four levels of repetitive goons until they reach the final boss, dispatch him and then, for some reason or another, fight one another to death for Marian's hand. Despite originally being Billy's girlfriend, Marian doesn't seem that bothered who wins.

'Double Dragon' Screenshot 2

The only part of the game you can't breeze through with the elbow smash - ludicrously cheap wall traps that you can't see coming.

And to be honest, I'll be surprised if any player does, either. Though it only takes about 15 minutes to reach the end of the game (and unlimited continues are provided, so there's no extra challenge there) if you aren't bored senseless by then you've either got an incredible tolerance or you're wearing some glasses with a severe rose tint. Wearing them, this is the arcade-perfect conversion we've been waiting for. With them off, "arcade-perfect" means including the crippling slowdown that the original suffered as soon as more than four things are on screen at once, and the elbow smash, a move so powerful you can complete the game using it alone. And as soon as Double Dragon has been finished once, there's absolutely nothing else to do.

Well, you can play it in co-op mode, locally or on Xbox Live, I suppose. On Xbox Live, the experience is satisfyingly free of lag in most games. Compared to the treacley Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, it's a revelation, but the game only allows two players (it's Double Dragon, you see, not Quadruple, um... Quails?) And the game is no different when played with a friend, other than the added annoyance of avoiding each other's elbow smashes.

'Double Dragon' Screenshot 3

Having successfully murdered his brother, Billy enjoys a well deserved kiss from Marian, who should really think about wearing a pair of shorts.

So within an hour you'll have seen all the game has to offer. The included achievements will, at best, extend the game's lifespan a few hours more, with only the unfair wall traps on level four likely to deny you the "Sneaky" achievement for any length of time. The rest are either trivially simple or just a matter of abusing the elbow smash.

Now of course, you could play it without using the game-breaking elbow smash, which, as we've said, is just one example of how "arcade-perfect" this release is. But that doesn't excuse what is still a very short, and very dull, brawler. Double Dragon does include some nice "extras" - configurable controls, and some arcade flyers, which should be worth an extra point, but throws the point away with quite possibly the worst (unstoppable) menu music I have ever heard in my entire life.

With an improved GBA version on the market already, maybe arcade-perfect was never something to aspire to after all.

3 / 10

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About Mathew Kumar

Read more articles from Mathew by visiting the Mathew Kumar archive page.

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Comments (34) Latest comment 5 years ago

Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • t8yman #1 5 years ago

    ahh, nostalgia aint what it used to be!

  • menage #2 5 years ago

    I would give this a 4. It's crap, but it's better crap than Turtles anyway.
    Edited by 1 at 12/05/07 @ 09:06

  • SBfistfun #3 5 years ago

    Ahh Double Dragon and discarded pornography on railway lines, those were the days...

  • OnlyMe #4 5 years ago

    Tsk, the game still plays well. I like it. It is what it is, which is a good game from a long time ago. As far as classic retro-titles go, this is one of the better.

  • Tomo #5 5 years ago

    Legendary game.

  • toy_brain #6 5 years ago

    The demo was more than enough to convine me I didnt need this game in my life.
    I'll be sticking with Streets of Rage 1 and 2, Alien Storm, and all those GBA brawlers that generally go overlooked.

  • The-Bodybuilder #7 5 years ago

    I played it for 2 mins and quite soon after.

    STOP DESTROYING MY MEMORIES, M$.

    >"fight one another to death for Marian's hand"

    I thought you had to fight each other's shadows?

  • Blockhead #8 5 years ago

    Yeah, I tried the demo, and it was awful. Ugly and unresponsive. Way to go.

  • Daikon #9 5 years ago

    Twenty years in the future some website will be giving Halo a 3/10 score also.

  • MrFlintBlackman #10 5 years ago

    Finally a review I agree with.......Super Double Dragon is ace btw.

  • old_skool #11 5 years ago

    yep those were the days...remembers the trick we used on the 1st level , we would keep the last guy alive after killing the boss and one player would grab him from behind and we would score big points by whipping him. And flying kick those knives out of the air added to the coolness factor.Flying kick the guys in the last stage from the balcony was another one of those cool things. And when the game got bored we challenged ourselves by only using the head butt.

  • OnlyMe #12 5 years ago

    Was Double Dragon 2 and 3 arcade too? I only ever played those on the Amiga.

  • Max_Powers #13 5 years ago

    Super Double Dragon would have been a much better Xbox Live Arcade offering.

    I tried this last night. It was terrible

  • Ryze #14 5 years ago

    Microsoft are slipping severely with the XBLA by the looks of things recently.

    I'll be getting U Mortal Kombat 3, but nowt else even seems to move me.

    Wasted opportunity so far... where's Streets of Rage 2?

    Strider? (MD Version)

    Forgotton Worlds? (ditto)

    R-Type?

    er... Arcade OutRun?

    Chase HQ? (It appeared on the Saturn)

    There needs to be a focus on quality, rather than hype.

  • Red-Moose #15 5 years ago

    @Daikon:

    DO you need to be in the future to give Halo 3/10?

  • Xerx3s #16 5 years ago

    Wow they have even spread to non halo threads. It's like a virus really. o_o

  • Retroid #17 5 years ago

    This was always a bit rubbish, Renegade was better.

    And no, it isn't better than TMNT >:(

  • SeesThroughAll #18 5 years ago

    Yuk.

    I hope publishers don't make a habit out of releaseing shite like this on downloadable games services. Midway is doing the same at PSN :(.

  • muters #19 5 years ago

    Cadillacs and Dinosaurs, please.

  • L0cky #20 5 years ago

    'STOP DESTROYING MY MEMORIES, M$.'

    What memories? Double Dragon was always crap. It was so frikkin slow!

  • LFace #21 5 years ago

    > "I thought you had to fight each other's shadows?"

    That was Double Dragon 2 I believe. Last boss on that was a weird shadowy form of yourself, or at least it was on the old NES. Couldnt get to the end of DD2 in the 'cade as it was never in my local one, only saw it at shitholes like blackpool and skeggy when I was in my younger yoof and it was hard as nails.

  • Waldo #22 5 years ago

    This game was so easy to beat once you figured all you had to do was the elbow smash and the "over-the-shoulder" toss over and over.

  • Stickman #23 5 years ago

    the "over-the-shoulder" toss

    BAN THIS SICK FILTH!

  • Overlush #24 5 years ago

    More 5 star retro quality? Oh THANK you games industry for shoveling or your old shite back at us. Please can we have some more?

  • bloodmask #25 5 years ago

    This game always was shite......They could at least have given you crime fighters, or final fight. Just because it is old doesn't mean it was ever any good. Where is r-type 2, or leo, mercs, victory road, salamander1 or 2, rygar, time soldiers, heavy barrel, midnight resistance. All they have to do is take a run through mame. And if they are going to give you this shovelware, at least give all the sequels as well. The only good game Technos ever made was solar warrior.....I would buy that..........................Truly pathetic..............I can only hold my breath now for double dragon 2, or maybe I'll be truly blessed and they'll give me Technos Uber-shite Combatribes next.....YAY
    Edited by 1 at 12/05/07 @ 22:34

  • crazyhorse174 #26 5 years ago

    I bet you that any of the so-called "classic" titles that have been mentioned above this post, would be shite if they were re-released on XBLA. Seems to be the case when old games are released and judged alongside todays offerings.

    They really need to start releasing new content - not rehashing old games.

    XBLA should be great - unfortunately just now, its a bit shit.

  • VMerken #27 5 years ago

    Playing it as a kid, back in the old heydays of the arcades, this was awesome until you found out about the broken elbow move. Still, it defined a genre and the makers behind the GBA version instilled it with a new life, one it truly deserves. This is the granddaddy of the beat'em up after all, complete with story, cooperative play and all that. Still, my advice would be to leave this one aside and go for the improved GBA game.

    Oh, and 64er owned Zzap on every conceivable level back in the day - guwahahahah :)
    Edited by 1 at 13/05/07 @ 00:25

  • spookyzombie #28 5 years ago

    3/10 is a bit harsh.

  • smelly #29 5 years ago

    "Twenty years in the future some website will be giving Halo a 3/10 score also. "

    Well the reviews of the pc version werent far off.

  • bonker #30 5 years ago

    Good girl.

  • bushwod #31 5 years ago

    "...quite possibly the worst (unstoppable) menu music I have ever heard in my entire life."

    Wow. The menu music was actually my favorite thing about this. Am I the only one who like it in a cheesy eurovision type of way?

  • Garulon #32 5 years ago

    Nooooooo!

    (Plays it)

    Oh alright then. Except it's NOT arcade-perfect, the original opening music has been replaced with a crappy orchestral score you can't replace with the fantastic parpy original. :(

  • lennon #33 5 years ago

    I really like this version. Always loved the original and have extra fond memories of the spectrum version where sometimes when kneeing an opponent their head would come off and hang in mid air.

    Still 3 out of 10 this isnt. 5 out of 10 is probably more where I would put it.

  • fujimaster #34 5 years ago

    This game is terrible. I don't care how 'accurate' it is. If they had fixed the god-awful 'slow down' problem that plague the original then it'd be worth a look, but they didn't even do that. Not a patch on the GBA remake. Lazy, lazy lazy.