Beowulf Review

Poetic licence.

Version tested: Xbox 360

I studied English Literature at university, you might be interested to know. Structuralism, death of the author, post modernism. All that. I wasn't very good at it, though, so sorry, I had to scrap the Anglo-Saxon poem concept review. Besides, I never got the opportunity to study Beowulf, and putting in the effort to read it for my own personal enjoyment seemed like a bit too much. Why so? Call me an unsophisticated lout, but it's old news, a little tedious, and there are countless other, better things around right now that improve on it in so many ways. Plus, I was waiting for the movie.

Maybe I shouldn't have. Angering elbow-patched professors up and down the country, the movie isn't afraid to take liberties with the source material, reinterpreting the story to suit an over-saturated Hollywood's focus-tested needs, and its hunger for twists, set pieces and love interests. That there was no author around to complain about it and take a cut of the cheque was probably a bonus, too.

Of course, it also helps that the CGI movie has the look of a high quality videogame cutscene to it already. It lends the predictable game adaptation an air of authenticity it wouldn't normally get with live action. Looking beyond the epic poem and the movie, the game takes the basic framework, fleshing out the film's main plot with a couple of other adventures in between Beowulf's classic fight with the monster Grendel, his mother and his final battle with a dragon.

Nevertheless, the game fails to convey much of its Hollywood source material's spectacle. The scenery is rather drab and murky given its ancient Northen Europe setting, and big name actor Anthony Hopkins, in particular, is wasted on some dull voiceover work and disjointed cutscenes. The game's attempts at injecting a little drama that occur back at the castle between missions are pretty weak, too, restricting you to slight fifteen degree movement around a couple of rooms and some brief, needless discussions with a couple of cohorts.

'Beowulf' Screenshot 1

Each weapon is wielded with the same button presses. Annoyingly, they all break after extended use.

It's an indication of Beowulf's confused approach. There was talk of extra effort being put in to elevate this above normal movie dross. Yet while the potential is there, it wastes it in a structure that never has the confidence to break away from linearity or do justice to the games it wants to ape. In fact, it doesn't take very long at all for the game to lay its cards on the table and show just that. Just ten minutes in you're thrown into a basic battle with a group of sea serpents in a scene oddly reminiscent of God of War's first level. Surprise, surprise - a Quick Time Event then rears its ugly head, and that trip down memory lane veers sharply into overused alley.

Those awful Simon-Says sequences crop up everywhere. The best that can be said is that they're relatively short. The worst is that they don't just rely on tapping once; they're tedious button mashers too. Grappling with an enemy feels like you're doing the 100m dash in Track and Field, and one level - revisited a few times throughout the game - has you repelling the advances of some sultry devils in exactly this way until your finger hurts. Surely there would have been a better way of doing things?

Speaking of which, you're also followed by a group of soldiers. While they fight beside you, their other purpose is to help you open and close doors (Ray Winstone's cockney "shut that door" command has a touch of Larry Grayson camp about it, amusingly) and the like, which they're happy to do all too often. Words of encouragement are given through a small rhythm action minigame in which you tap buttons in time to musical cues. It's not so much that it feels a little incongruous in the midst of the blood and guts, it's rather that this sequence is used all the time without ever really changing. You open one door, you've opened them all.

'Beowulf' Screenshot 2

I knew I should have taken that umbrella...

When they're not opening doors, those soldiers are usually as pointless as those you'll encounter in Ninety-Nine Nights. The spectacle of a small army is impressive, but it wouldn't make any difference if they were there or not, you'll often be thinking as you take care of things yourself in a close quarters battle with the enemy. There's no way to command them in a fight and they'll merrily go off on their own to look for trouble. Because they're not as clever as you either, it isn't long before they're pinned down by their foes and begging for your help. Worse than that, you can't ignore the idiots because it's game over if all your men are killed.

Another attempt at punching above its weight comes via a moral system. As a way to play through the game more than once, Beowulf stands to gain a reputation in legend as a heroic king or an infamous brute depending on your actions, but what this boils down to, simply, is what kind of attack you use in combat.

This is tied into your health meter. It constantly recharges when in the clear and instead of corresponding to your physical sense of well-being, it represents your skill in battle. Perform well, attack and dodge and the bar fills up to the top, offering the opportunity to boost your soldiers' performance and earn you heroic points to spend on upgrades. It's slightly more comprehensive than the carnal route which allows you to hold down a trigger to activate bezerker rage, giving temporary invincibility and a blood-red screen effect for a short period. It's easier to do, but the trade off is the depletion of your health and a couple of vulnerable seconds being stunned when it wears off. Do enough of this and the balance tips the other way. Whichever way you choose leads to your final assessment and the ending you see. But the journey is pretty much the same, and the absence of any moral choices outside of fighting renders the system a disappointing way to extend the experience. What it really does is falsely restrict the amount of fun you can have by forcing you to limit one set of moves over the other if you want to see everything. That's not fun.

'Beowulf' Screenshot 3

Generally, Beowulf is not a very difficult game (easy Achievement Points go without saying). What drains it of excitement and make it more of an endurance test are some annoyingly resilient enemies, particularly on hard mode. More specifically, the lumbering trolls that pepper the game take an age to defeat. Despite a limited and graphically brutal combo system that cuts through standard enemies, you'll sigh with resignation when another one crashes into view. All this tediousness then culminates in one of the most boring final boss battles I've played this year: fighting a dragon which performs the same exact easily-dodged attack over and over again until you've worn his health bar down half a bleeding hour later.

Beowulf is also encumbered by a number of other glitches - loss of gamma levels, fuzzy sound, levels not loading and more. None are enough to ruin the game, but a sign that maybe this never got the polish it needed to meet the movie release date.

That's not to say that Beowulf is entirely a rush job, and the clunk and roar of combat can be satisfying in parts. In the end, though, it's sadly little more than a dated, bog-standard hack and slash with misguided pretensions. The bottom line is that there are countless other games of this type around that are superior in every way.

5 / 10

Read the Eurogamer.net scoring policy

Comments (33) Latest comment 4 years ago

Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • rashes #1 4 years ago

    Any chance of a GAA games review?
  • krudster #2 4 years ago

  • Fitzmogwai #3 4 years ago

    Hold the front page! Crap movie tie-in shocker!
  • rashes #4 4 years ago

    @krudster

    Its Irish national sports. There is a PS2 game just released and no one is reviewing it!

    Look:
    http://ww w.thegaastore.com/view_products...
    Edited by 1 at 27/11/07 @ 11:40
  • krudster #5 4 years ago

    I sincerely doubt it. The publisher has to bother to send it first of all, which is not always a given, especially if they know it's not very good.
  • Carlo #6 4 years ago

  • Arwin #7 4 years ago

    No worries James, the original Beowulf is only interesting for seeing which bits of it Tolkien took and copied over to LOTR. ;)

    (though that said, the fortress entrance description is as spectacular there as it is when the party arrives at Rohan, so maybe it's at least worthwhile for reading that section)
  • cathalzx #8 4 years ago

    haha Krudster - you should get used to us Irish fellas! Wikipedia!
  • rashes #9 4 years ago

    @krudster

    Well the last version was rubbish so I can just use that as my reference point!
    There will be a few mentions of it in the mainstream papers and mags in Ireland but that will about it I'd say.
  • Skurmedel #10 4 years ago

    That's what happens when you rape scandinavian history.
  • DanWhitehead #11 4 years ago

    I think the review is a touch harsh on the movie. There's only one major deviation from the original story - what happens in the cave between Beowulf and Grendel's mother - but that still makes sense within the realms of the narrative. It doesn't necessarily contradict anything from the poem, since Beowulf's deception is integral to the final act - which, for all its whizz-bang dragon fighting, actually takes a very downbeat, melancholy tone which is distinctly unHollywood.
    Edited by 1 at 27/11/07 @ 12:05
  • ruckus #12 4 years ago

    "Quick Time Events"
    May a curse be on your sandwich all who implement such travesty.
  • skillian #13 4 years ago

    Bah, find the right translation and it's a classic, epic tale.

    The conclusion that equates Beowulf (the classic piece of medieval literature) with Beowulf (the shameless Hollywood movie-tie game) is just so wrong. Hang your head in shame.
  • miiiguel #14 4 years ago

    Don't forget to save a picture for posterity, you don't see a bad 360 game every year.
  • DanWhitehead #15 4 years ago

    Shame it's also on PS3 and PC, eh?
  • miiiguel #16 4 years ago

    oh well... not yet then. It'll happen, eventually.
  • peterfll #17 4 years ago

    I saw the movie at the weekend and thought it was rather good. It entertained me (it was better than I thought it was going to be,). What more can you ask of a movie?

    I don't know what's worse:

    When "Hollywood" adapts a famous, much-loved classic and ruins it

    OR

    When critics take the easy route of crowing on about how most Hollywood adaptations are insipid and therefore are automatically rubbish
  • Matfink #18 4 years ago

    Why does the Wii take all the crap for minigame collections when there's derivative Quick-Time Rythm-Action dross like this on other systems?!
  • miiiguel #19 4 years ago

    The movie got quite good reviews from its specialized reviewers.
  • allen #20 4 years ago

    QTE is fine, if when you fail you don't have to restart it.
  • Waldo #21 4 years ago

    I've said it before and I'll say it again: we need a Severance: Blade of Darkness sequel.
  • BadBoyBonner #22 4 years ago

    Watched the movie at the weekend on IMAX 3D - awesome. Transformed what would have been a little above ordinary into something quite magical.

    Strongly recommend going to see it in 3D at Imax if your thinking of bothering to go see it (I went to the one in Bradford).
  • davisorle #23 4 years ago

    Ok the game isnt a 9 but isnt a 5... Ive seen EG rate 6 way worse games and they do make the game sound way worse than reality. Its actually fun to play just not my stule of game so not so into it. A friend of mine is going crazy on it though. He loves hack and slash games and the brutal combos. Think he also hets high and off when he does that but dont wanna know.
  • Qbert2k #24 4 years ago

    "Don't forget to save a picture for posterity, you don't see a bad 360 game every year."

    Really? You must have uber low standards then.
  • Chris Gardiner #25 4 years ago

    I'll back up Dan Whitehead here - the movie is fab. Anyone who things the movie is dumbing down the original poem needs to go back and read the damn thing again, because - great as it is - it's three fucking fight scenes. The movie version has *more* going on in it, not less. It was penned by Neil Gaiman and Roger Avary for goodness' sake - hardly a couple of Hollywood hacks.

    Also, a historical movie which never once uses the word "freedom"? Bonus points, surely.
  • Wyrm #26 4 years ago

    Needs more Jolie tits.
  • Vermillion3000 #27 4 years ago

    Dunno, sounds quite good to me.

    Easy, bit bland, doesn't outstay it's welcome and no worries if you don't finish it cos the end is pap. Good Sunday afternoon can't be arsed fodder. Add a beer and you can't go wrong.

    If you add back on the 2 points it loses simply for being a film tie in and not having a supposed photogenic female producer then we're probably back on track...
  • skillian #28 4 years ago

    Anyone who things the movie is dumbing down the original poem needs to go back and read the damn thing again, because - great as it is - it's three fucking fight scenes.

    Will people still be buying and watching the movie in 10,000 years time? Somehow I think not.

    /despairs
  • Feanor #29 4 years ago

    10,000 years is a very long time.
  • Azazel #30 4 years ago

  • Chris Gardiner #31 4 years ago

    "Will people still be buying and watching the movie in 10,000 years time? Somehow I think not."

    I don't know. Let's met back here then, and see. I'll bring future-crisps.
  • James_Lyon #32 4 years ago

    Obviously I was being a little facetious on my reasons for not reading the poem. The changes in the film still irk me, though, even if they did find a way to tie everything together.

    Then again, I didn't complain about them taking Tom Bombadil out of Lord of the Rings, funnily enough.
  • Katsumoto #33 4 years ago

    LOL 5/10 360 really is just for casual noobs and women/gay people. Why do people buy this shit console when all it can serve up IS THIS SHIT.

    /irony off.

    See, wii-haters. I can do it too.