Wii Roundup Review
Bowling, fighting, Sonic, space.
Version tested: Wii
Hello, readers. Welcome to the latest in our series of Wii Roundups, or as I'm campaigning to have them rebranded, Why Roundups. As in, why did anyone make these games, why would anyone buy them and why do they always land on my desk? The pile is now so big my desk resembles a stall at a jumble sale. If I half-close my eyes I can believe I am in a church hall, surrounded by clothes that smell of sick and dead people's jigsaws.
Or sometimes I pretend I am a princess locked in a dungeon by a mad wizard, forced to chew nugget after nugget of dragon excrement until I crack a tooth on a single tiny diamond. I suspect my imprisonment will last for centuries.
So what's in store this month? There's a contemporary Sonic the Hedgehog game which is as good as most other contemporary Sonic the Hedgehog games, a pisspoor bowling "sim" and some rubbishy old Star Trek tat. Plus two Japanese fighting games I barely understand and care even less about. Let's go!
AMF Bowling Pinbusters
Ah yes, because the Wii could do with another bowling game. It's not as if a perfectly adequate one comes bundled in the box with the console. And it's not as if the other bowling game already released for Wii wasn't spectacular fun to play and well worth the money. OH WAIT.

Don't you step on my poorly rendered shoes.
At least this one has AMF stamped on the box - you know, as in AMF Lewisham, South-East London's premiere bowling venue. I have been to AMF Lewisham many times. As a general rule, the lanes are populated by knife-wielding children and mad people who shout at everything and attempt to pleasure themselves with bowling balls or pins, depending on gender.
Never have I seen the lanes of AMF Lewisham occupied by cowgirls, Elvis impersonators, "surfer dudes" or drill sergeants. Yet these are some of the characters you can choose from in AMF Bowling Pinbusters. You can't just play as your Mii of course, that would be ridiculous. There's also a Latino whore and a gangster rapper, which is a bit more like it, but the realism ends there as the rapper says things like "Mmm, I'm just doing my thang" rather than "Why even lie I know you've got a pay-as-you-go voucher in your bag give it."
Having selected your character it's time to get to grips with the control system, which isn't hard as it's exactly the same as that in Wii Sports bowling. The ball physics, however, are much worse. The sound effects are hilarious. "Effects" is a bit generous, in fact; "A single and endlessly repeated recording of a man throwing a marble into a sink" would be more accurate. The characters' endlessly repeated exclamations ("Whooooo!" "Duuuuuude!") will make you want to take the batteries out of the Wii remote and stab them in your ears until things pop.
There are two mini-games. Pool Bowl is like normal bowling except you must hit an eight-ball positioned in front of the pins to knock them down. Obstacles is like normal bowling except you must avoid a cardboard box with AMF written on it. Neither of these mini-games are worth playing ever.
The tournament mode is utterly rubbish. Up to four players can take part but tournaments require a minimum of eight competitors, so the numbers are made up by AI characters. This means you have to stand around watching each other play against NPCs while waiting for your go. The quick play mode doesn't suffer from this problem, but who cares.
AMF Bowling Pinbusters is like Wii Sports bowling only several thousand times less good. The game mechanics are awful and the presentation is a disgrace. And with a price tag of GBP 19.99, it costs GBP 19.99 more than Wii Sports bowling. Which also comes with free golf, tennis, baseball and boxing games. Next?
2/10
Guilty Gear Core
It's never a good sign when there are spelling mistakes on the back of the game's box. But apparently the Guilty Gear series is "higly appreciated", so let's press on. For those who aren't familiar, it's all about engaging in complicated 2D fights to the sound of unpleasant guitar music. Or as the back of the box puts it, "In Guilty Gear, to win or to loose depends only on your skills."
I'm not familiar, which made getting to grips with Guilty Gear Core a challenge. I booted up the game without even opening the manual, a practice I have engaged in without incident since 1994. This was a mistake. After three minutes of play I was left confused, exhausted and on the precipice of a migraine.
The manual is good fun though. Perhaps more fun than the game. Sol Badguy is still the best-named videogame character of all time. The pages are sprinkled seemingly at random with instructions like, "This gauge is required for Over Drive Attacks and Roman Cancels. It increases when you use attacks and dashes. Robo Ky has an Electric Gauge instead of a Tension Gauge."
The names of the special moves are excellent. Super Screaming Ultimate Spinning Whirlwind is a particular favourite, along with Bandit Revolver Prototype, which should be the name of a band. Then there's Potemkin Buster, May and the Jolly Crew, Stroke the Big Tree and Sword Mode: Looks Painful... And Is! Exclamation marks are a common theme. I especially like Hello!, Hello Again!, Speak Up! and the superlative Stay Up, Mr Dolphin!

Sol Badguy faces off with his arch enemy, Steve Paedophile.
I should tell you something about what the game's like to play rather than just listing things in the manual. So, you can swing the nunchuk and remote around to perform parts of your combos. The system is complex and often frustrating - for example, swinging the nunchuk "quickly" launches a punch, while swinging "hard" launches a kick, and it's easy to make mistakes.
It's almost impossible to pull off some of the harder special moves. To do May and the Jolly Crew, for example, you must perform a punch, kick, slash and heavy slash, and then press left, down-left, down, down-right, right, left, down-left, down, down-right, right. While simultaneously doing another heavy slash.
You might think that sounds like brilliant fun, in which case you've probably enjoyed Guilty Gear games before and will like this one. A word of warning though, you'd be better off with a Classic Controller than the remote and nunchuk. And you might be disappointed to learn there's no Story mode, although Arcade, M.O.M., VS and Training are all present and correct.
If you're a newcomer to the series, this doesn't offer an accessible introduction. It's not the kind of beat-'em-up suitable for mucking about with friends after a night in the pub, unless you're all Guilty Gear fans. Nor is it likely to impress anyone expecting super-sharp next-gen visuals and fluid animations.
A difficult one to score, then. Add two to the number below if you like Guilty Gear, and subtract two if you couldn't give a toss about this sort of thing.
6/10
Star Trek Conquest
Captain's log, stardate 1604200.8. The crew and I have decided to begin this review of a Star Trek game using the tired old cliché of pretending it's the captain's log. Later on we might do some jokes about Klingons on the starboard bow and William Shatner's funny old pop records and oh just forget it.
According to the back of the box, Star Trek Conquest is "a blend of intense action and strategy". According to reality, it's a lazily made piece of shovelware requiring as much strategising as it takes to close a fridge door, coupled with action which is less intense than making toast.
As far as I recall Star Trek follows the adventures of the Enterprise crew as they explore the galaxy trying to expand humanity's knowledge and understanding of other planetary cultures. It's basically about a bunch of nosey space hippies. Not so Star Trek Conquest. It is set during "a time of unrest", when "all of the major races are at war" and "diplomacy is dead" and "the Romulans have called Jean-Luc Picard's Mum a c***".
The point is, you choose which race to play as (Federation / Romulan / Klingon / Breen etc.) and set about trying to murder everyone else on a ridiculously simple strategy map that looks like it was drawn in 1992. Each race has different strengths and weaknesses. There are three whole variables: attack, defence and movement.

I literally fell asleep while playing this game. Literally.
During your turn you can buy ships from a boringly limited selection, commission an Admiral (they vary according to their skills in attack, defence and movement, astonishingly) or use a special weapon (there are six). You can build defensive outposts and starbases to protect your territory. You can set up mining colonies and establish research stations to increase your income and the purchase rate for special weapons. This is the entire extent of the game's resource management element.
When you encounter a hostile force, you have three combat options. Pick Instant and you'll be told immediately who's won the battle. If you choose Sim, you can issue orders to your ships - telling them to go on the attack will lower their defenses slightly, and vice versa. Arcade lets you control one of your ships directly, using the nunchuk's analogue stick to move it about and the remote to aim and fire. It works well enough, but there's hardly much depth here.
Which just about sums Star Trek Conquest up. The strategy element makes the first level of Advance Wars look like Kasparov versus Deep Blue. There's not even a story to follow. Once you've won a campaign, all there is to do is set different variables or pick a new race and start again. The skirmish mode lets you skip the strategy bit and just shoot spaceships, but there are much better spaceship-shooting games out there.
Even at GBP 19.99 Star Trek Conquest isn't worth the asking price, even if you're a "Trekkie" (or "Spockstic" as I prefer). The game only offers a couple of hours' entertainment and they'd be better spent watching the TV show or one of the films, or trawling the Internet for erotic Wesley Crusher fan fiction.
3/10
Dragon Ball Z Budokai Tenkaichi 3
Does the world really need another Dragon Ball Z game? After all, more than 25 of them have been produced so far. But then more than 10 million copies have been sold, so you can't blame Namco Bandai for churning out another one.
You can blame them for failing to include a proper tutorial mode. The one in Dragon Ball Z Budokai Tenkaichi 3 is insanely complicated and takes far too long to work your way through. At the end of it all you're likely to be more confused than when you started, unless you've played some of the previous instalments in the series.
In which case, as with Guilty Gear Core, you'll probably like this one. There are more than 160 playable characters and 30 battle stages and a host of modes to choose from. Serious fans will enjoy Dragon History mode, where you get to play through memorable battles from the entire DBZ series. They're punctated with conversations between characters, plot developments and fighter switches. It does feel rather like you're playing the cartoon, especially since the visuals are of a high quality.
Combos and special moves can be tricky to learn but the basic controls are simple. The nunchuk and remote come into play - swinging the nunchuk will make your fighter dash forward, for example. However, many of these moves take too long to charge up and pull off. Using a Classic or GameCube controller makes things much easier.

Tonight on Newsroom Southeast: green manbat punches small boy in pajamas through stomach.
The big attraction of the Tenkaichi 3 for Wii is supposed to be the online mode. You can fight against people whose Friend Codes you've obtained or take on random strangers, and battle it out with either default or customised characters. At least in theory. The connection drops far too frequently when you're looking for another player, a process which can take ten minutes or more. When you do finally end up in a match, you're faced with absolutely appalling slowdown and lag. It's barely playable and not worth the effort.
Dragon Ball Z Budokai Tenkaichi 3 does feature an impressive roster of fighters and range of options, and the fighting system works well. Plus you get to do flying. But there's nothing much new here apart from the online mode, and that's rubbish. One for hardcore DBZ fans only; the rest of the world can move along.
5/10
Sonic Riders Zero Gravity
Tom didn't think much of the original Sonic Riders on Xbox 1. He described it as "occasionally very fluid and exciting", but for the most part, "overly complicated, and dominated by things designed to stop it being fluid and exciting". For the sequel, SEGA has tried to deal with these issues by throwing in some new elements which are overly complicated and stop the game from being fluid and exciting.
Sonic Riders Zero Gravity sees blueballs and his friends taking to their hoverboards once again, this time to defeat an army of crazed robots. There's some guff about a meteorite and anti-gravity force fields and Dr Robotnik, or Dr Eggman as he became after defecting from the Soviet Union, is up to his ancient tricks. Basically it's a racing game set in a futuristic city full of steel girders, neon lights and gold rings.
In the Wii version, you can control your racer by tilting the remote left and right. "Control" is a bit strong, actually, let's try that again. In the Wii version, you can send your racer veering wildly around the track and watch as they bounce uncontrollably off the walls by tilting the remote left and right. Then you can give up and just use the d-pad, bearing in mind that you must keep the remote perfectly level as the slightest dip will cause more veering and bouncing.
As with the first game there are rings to collect and rails to grind on and jumps to navigate and boosts to earn and the vaguest of instructions as to how to do all this. Plus there's a new gravity points system. You earn points for getting a good start, grinding, pulling off tricks, using catapults and so on. Then you can spend them on things like speed boosts or wall running.

Ugh.
The most interesting option is the gravity control move - press a button to slow down time and make your character rotate in the air, then release it to zoom off in the direction they're facing. It's useful for sharp turns, but it's tricky to get right and all too often you'll end up smashing into the wall. It also interrupts the flow of races; pausing to spin on the spot in slow motion hardly creates a thrilling sense of speed.
There are lots of other over-complicated and unnecessary elements to the game, like the gear shop and the barricade routes and the trick zones, none of which are worth explaining here. It feels as if they've been tacked on in a bid to stop you noticing what's missing - like an online racing mode (you can check leaderboards though, try to contain your excitement), and a story mode that lasts longer than two hours.
So once again, we have here a modern day Sonic game devoid of the elements which made olden days Sonic games so good - speed, simplicity, a decent control system, that sort of thing. Sonic Riders Zero Gravity is not hateful, just pointless. A complete waste of time, effort and the planet's resources. Please stop it.
4/10
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Comments (75) Latest comment 4 years ago
Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!
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Is the return worth the pain that poor woman has had to endure.
Focus on the good stuff eurogamer. Don't need five pages dedicated to this. Four pars would have been enough
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'The Wii, a dumping ground for sh*t '
A bit like the ps2 then, or the PC, or the psp?
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No they aren't.
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the 360 and PS3 don't suffer from this so much because they require far more time and resources to make a game, but IMO that's not necessarily a good thing - granted you don't get so much shovelware, but it also means it's harder for small developers to try something creative (and therefore risky)
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Give this woman some proper games to play, STAT!
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Speaks volumes in that they don't get as many releases as the Wii? Are too expensive to develop for etc?
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2. Guilty Gear isnt one of those sub-par games, and deserved a designated review. 6/10 is to be expected if she only played single-player modes - but that's really, truly, not where the fun is.
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Don King wins hands down.
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Of course that doesn't mean that you have to like it but the review does give the impression of it being another hacked together beat 'em up when in reality there is a reason why the Guilty Gear series is alive in the 2d beat 'em up genre next to Street Fighter and King of Fighters - because it does have great gameplay and a certain art style. Again, it's not something you have to like, but the review doesn't even explain the gameplay of GG at all and makes it sound like yet another cheap cash in attempt in Wii game form, complaining mostly about a spelling error on the back (unprofessional no doubt) and funny names for special moves (like Spinning Bird Kick is that much more poetic).
As much as I enjoy reading Ellie's reviews and her humor, this review is blog quality at best.
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Specially liked the bit about pleasuring bowling balls or pins depending on whether your male or female.
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I LOLD at Steve Peadophile..
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I must admit that beyond a few third-party releases like Resident Evil 4 and Zack & Wiki, the only games that interest me for the Wii are Nintendo's own games which is exactly why I bought the machine in the first place. Just about everything else seems poor in comparison and the console does seem to get an awful lot of substandard tat, far more than the Xbox 360 or PS3 for example. Is there no quality control at Nintendo? Surely Nintendo are the ones who approve these games for release on their console?
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Nah. It's a masterpiece if you take 2D fighters seriously. Plus, it IS the pinnacle of 2D fighters if your in on the arcade scene. There simply is no competition right now (save for perhaps Melty Blood).
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Back to Mario Kart.
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Lol funny reviews again Ellie ...
Specially liked the bit about pleasuring bowling balls or pins depending on whether your male or female.
I bet you did, you little freak.
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lets be real here, the Wii's game library is fucking dross, pure and simple
too many lazy developers see a game and make a ham fisted attempted to put the wii mote in.
have you see some of the scores on the wii, they're awful, simply fucking shite.
Now, i;m not saying theres no bad games on the ps3 and xbox 360, but jesus, she just mass reviewed 4 or 5 games and the highest score was what, 6?
Christ, i didnt think the fanboism meant you were blind
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firstly, if the that library ONLY had clarkson books, and didn't have any literature, then yea, i could say that library is shite.Quite easily.
More to the point, the ratio of shit games to good games doesn't seem as healthy on the wii as it does on other systems
if you took the wiimote away from the wii, what do you have? A cheap console with games library that is a shadow of former glories.
Quite frankly, the wii's entire success depends on a single gimmick, a gimmick that seems to be forced, welcome or not, into any game that a developer can imagine
know, review scores are subjective, but this link does put the wii under some uncomfortable light
http://ww w.next-gen.biz/index.php?option...
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also im with Emil. Pooor review of GGXX-whatever
omg edit
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It doesn't matter if the Wii has 6 or 6000 shite titles what's important is that it's home to Super Mario Galaxy, Zack & Wiki, PES 2008 and No More Heroes to name just four recent titles that any person calling themselves gamer should be itching to try out.
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what exactly are you trying to do? are you trying to convince somebody that their collection of Wii games is no good simply because they can see past the crap and pick out the gems and you can't? Like it or not the Wii has loads of good and great games already, and they aren't going to suddenly vanish cos some publishers decide to throw out any crap they can. i repeat a point i made earlier, the most popular console always attracts the most shovelware, its nothing new. or were the nes, snes, ps1 and ps2 suffering because of it?
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if you took the wiimote away from the wii, what do you have? A cheap console with games library that is a shadow of former glories.
Quite frankly, the wii's entire success depends on a single gimmick, a gimmick that seems to be forced, welcome or not, into any game that a developer can imagine
What point is that? If I took away Live! from the 360 all I have left is a console with short SP experiences? Since when do we compare parts of a complete package? A Ferrari without wheels is just as useless as a broken down VW Bus. So what?
The Wii's success doesn't just depend on a single gimmick. It depends just as much on the Nintendo franchises. And to call the Wiimote controls forced in every game is unfair even if you are right. It wasn't a very wise decision in my opinion to not include a cube or classic controller with the Wii because if it was the Wii controls wouldn't feel forced but more like an (useless) option. That would be marginally better.
However I am glad that companies nevertheless release games like Guilty Gear that simply don't work with Wiimote controls. It's a risky move because it basically requires that players buy an extra controller before they can enjoy the game. This however is Nintendo's fault and not the developer's fault so it's unfair to critize Guilty Gear for this. In fact I'm glad that I can finally play Guilty Gear on a home console that I actually own myself - it's not like the Wiimote controls would bother me, it's not like I have to use them.
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as for the other points, my very first point was that the wii has an excessive quantity of shit forced on it. It has a few good titles, but, come on, ellie just reviewed five games, and the highest score was 6. When the Wii hits a high point, fair enough, it does it, but it also seems to hit the lows VERY easy and VERY often.
@ Der_tolle_Emil
See, you've already tied the Wii in to the emote, that its the be all and end all of the system. Thats why theres so many shit games on the wii, because developers see a wii and all they see is the remote.
If you took Live away from the games, you'd have what i have. A system that houses some excellent single player games. I dont even use live, except to talk to my friends for free in Oz.
The wii depends on its control method to an unhealthy extreme, and most developers use it as a way to disguise lazy development, or old ideas.
Christ, the wii mote should be re molded into an actual shovel at this stage
If Sony or MS had developed the wii mote first, how wel do you think the wii would be doing?
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As for your "If Sony or MS had developed the wii mote first, how wel do you think the wii would be doing?" statement it's a pointless, empty statement. You might as well say "What if Nintendo had given a million pounds to each customer?" as it's equally hypothetical and nonsensical. Neither Sony nor MS developed the Wiimote, so therefore it's a moot point.
Metacritic has 20 titles that score over 80% for the Wii. That might not be as many as the PS3 or 360 but it's still a substantial number, many of which are exclusive to the platform. In my mind that justifies purchasing the console especially as it's pretty cheap.
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if it had been ANY system getting this amount of dross, i'd actually have said the same thing.
but, as you've just pointed out, thats an empty statement as its both hypothetical and nonsensical.
Look, i used to be Nintendo's biggest fan boy, but that ended with the snes. I bought the N64. TOTAL waste of money, apart from Golden eye and Turok 2, bought a game cube and dont even want to discuss it.
And now here comes the wii. its release schedule is BLEAK. Its quality control, terrible. Its over dependence on one gimmick dire.
I'm just gonna put my money where my mouth is, if it had been ANY other company than nintendo, that threw out so much shit, it would be derided. But all is forgiven because of Mario Galaxy, Smash Bros, and Zelda.
Theres nothing else coming, there never is. Theres always a few good first party titles, and thats it.
Now, things could have been different, who knows? Maybe in another dimension, the wii is the dogs bollocks, but right here, right now, the system suffers because of its wii mote, because developers are blinded to it, and force the mechanic, where it does not belong
i should also point out that i know quite a few non gamers that bought a wii, played it until the novelty wore off, and threw it in the corner. Most game developers think they're going to get mum and dad pulling off 30 move combos with the wii, cause its easy to pick up.
sorry, doesn't work like that. Firstly, the wii mote only belongs in certain games, secondly, if a game is shit, its shit, and swinging your arms around wont change that at all
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Whichever format is most popular will always get the most shit. Look at ps2 and ps1 before it.
And to claim that the ps3 hasn't had it's share of shit is pushing it a bit..
[link url=http://www.eurogamer.net/archive .php?type=review&sort=reversechrono&platform=ps3
]http://ww w.eurogamer.net/archive.php?typ...[/link]
Not exactly rolling in "MUST HAVES" is it?
And it's funny you mention review scores as the wii has the best scoring game on all of the 3 systems (mario galaxy)
To suggest that the wii has a lot of shit games - i'd agree with.
To suggest that the wii doesnt have any great games worth buying - you're talking nonsense.
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Cut off your nose to spite your face, miss out on some of the best games of this gen and continue ranting away with ill-informed and down-right wrong-headed notions, I'm off home to have fun playing games!
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it has dross to, just not as much, and i havent seen anything that would make me splash out on it
@ pac man
its not the shit games that are putting me off, i just COULD not play another Zelda or Mario game, i just can't do those games anymore
thats my choice, but i'm not blinded by the remote.
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LOLWIIHASNOGAMESLOL123
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it has dross to, just not as much, and i havent seen anything that would make me splash out on it
"
To be fair the only reason the ps3 doesnt have as much dross is because it's got beggar all games available for it!
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Sigh.No.
Go back look at the ps1, or ps2 for that matter.. or go back further to the days of the atari vc.
And as Katsumoto points out...
As for my opinion - who cares about shit games? I dont buy a console based on how many/few shit games it has - but buy it based on the number of GREAT games it has - and the wii has a lot of great games..
(to which the fanboys will say "yeah but they all have mario in them", to which i say "who cares, it's only a graphical representation of the character you're playing, if it was mario, barbie, or duke nukem as the main character - it'll still be a good game"
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Don't like the Wii? No problem, that's your personal taste. That doesn't mean that those tastes and opinions should have any relevance to anyone else's, though...
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This may seem typical of all of us "gamers" on this board. But I've noticed that the more casual types, and kids in particular, they will play anything because they bought it or were given it in a gift. None of us would be seen dead buying much of this dross (and yes, throw a dart at a wall of random Wii games and it is likely to come up crap), but the whole casual/kids market puts up with it, and comes back for more. If they didn't, the publishers wouldn't exist.
I own a Wii, and love many games on that system, and it's not because of the waggle, it's because of the love put into the titles.
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can't be long now before ninty announce plans for their next gen console.
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I like my wii, its a breath of fresh air. Will the experience last?? Well dont know. One day it will problely be the "same old, same old" but for now i am enjoying myself.
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Stereotypes exist as they're based on some degree of fact, albeit a distored version of reality:
"PS3 crap ports bluray trojan teh cell LOL!"
"360 RROD LOL!"
"Wiishovelware crap graphics LOL!"
In a way these are all both true and, at the same time, all false statements as people, expectations and experiences occupy as many different shades of grey as games do...but there's an old saying that rings true for all the above statements:
There's no smoke without fire
At then end of the day no one console is perfect and each one appeals to different people for different reasons. I want good graphics, adult/mature themed titles and reliability above anything else so I'm a PS3 owner. Doesn't make it the best console, mind, just the one I want. Conversely: the last thing I want is party games, Mario or weak graphics. Doesn't mean they need defending, just that I don't want them.
"Allah loves wonderous variety"
All hail the Freeman
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This annoyance is not at the people who don't speak dross (you know who you are) but at the rest of you.
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/hopes Ellie will forgive and still say "yes
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As a fighting game fan, I was offended by the Guilty Gear review. It was like getting someone who hates JRPGs to review a JRPG, or someone who doesn't even understand how American Football works to review Madden.
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Also for those reading this group of reviews and automatically assuming that this is 5 more crap games. I believe two of the titles, if up your street, would be re-adjusted to 7 and 8 respectively. So, essentially, even some of the round-up Wii games have actually scored quite well if you already have some kind of interest.
Sometimes I worry about the internet. If only because some of the people who populate it could be driving a car near me, and I'm pretty sure I saw an advert on Tv that seemed to imply driving a car results in the death of almost everyone. Well, I think that's what it was implying, I didn't actually read any of the text.
edit - I obviously didn't learn how to write whilst I was learning to read haha
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a) theres a LOT of crap games on the wii
b) and even the industry has says this - developers tend to think they can re use old games and throw in a gimmick related to the wii mote and the whole game is rejuvenated. Its not.
c) Similarity, developers tend to mask lazy development with the wii mote, hoping the novelty of swinging you arms will disguise sloppy work.
Quite frankly, its not like I've come out and actually unfairly criticized the system or Nintendo. What i am saying is that this system is having shit dumped on it from lazy developers, and Nintendo themselves are NOT doing a good enough job on quality control.
Nothing i have actually said is unfair, or has NOT been documented else where.
As for the games itself, i'm sick of cutsey games, i find them jarring and annoying, but thats my choice.
Look at the the blog from that 1up guy, where he described the wii as his biggest disappointment of 2007. He's right. The wii has something unique, the wii mote, but is that the be all and end all? No, at the end of the day, you need a core platofrm of GOOD games on a good release schedule. Simply relying on 2 or 3 first party titles a year is not enough to say 'this system rocks'
Pardon me if i am old fashioned, but i judge a system on the amount of quality titles that are available on, and if i look at the wii, i see a handful of first party titles, maybe a few 8/10 third party titles, and a vast catalogue of sub par games.
It was clear that Nintendo were on the slide before the wii, and now that they have some success with the wii, it just seems like they are throwing enough shit at the wall, and hoping some sticks.
Like i say, if a wii mote had come up on the 360 or ps3 (sixaxis to me seems like a shit compromise 'oh, theres the wiimote, lets copy out, but not look like we are copying it'), how would the wii do? Now, to be fair, i also imagine that if a wiimote was on the 360 or ps3 we would be shit games as well, and, believe it or not, i would post saying that.
Guys, i'm not being negative, all i'm doing is highlighting the fundamental problem with the wii, in that it has become about the interface, and not the game, and as a result, their is an abundance of crap on the wii.
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And I'm a Nintendo only gamer! (Wii+DS+PC)
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Another example of how the system actually works well is PES. Overall it's regarded as not up to scratch on the 360 and PS3, yet Konami managed to find a good application for the wiimote and applied it well. The result is a game that many reckon to be the best version for the next gen consoles, even though the wii lags behind technically
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You might think that sounds like brilliant fun, in which case you've probably enjoyed Guilty Gear games before and will like this one."
Wow, great review! I have a series of great reviews which you might enjoy and find informative:
"To fight monsters, you must first select one, then select a spell or ability from the menu to use on it. You might think that sounds like brilliant fun, in which case you've probably enjoyed Final Fantasy games before and will like this one."
"To kill enemies, you should aim at them with your mouse and then click to pull the trigger on your virtual gun. You might think that sounds like brilliant fun, in which case you've probably enjoyed Half Life games before and will like this one."
"To complete the level you must select your troops with your mouse, then right click on the enemies troops to have them destroyed. You might think that sounds like brilliant fun, in which case you've probably enjoyed StarCraft games before and will like this one."
To complete these reviews, add the following:
"A difficult one to score, then. Add some numbers if you liked the game i'm reviewing, subtract some if you couldn't give a toss about this sort of thing."
Check in the mail please.
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It also never a good sign when the person reviewing a game can't get the title right: Its called Guilty Gear XX Accent Core:
[link url=http://www .505games.co.uk/games.aspx?ID=26
]http://www .505games.co.uk/games.aspx?ID=26
[/link]
Or to put the reviewers comment in perspective (and riff on a popular advert):
Japanese to English translation service: ££££
5 minutes background research on the internet: Free.
Comments like that and "I booted up the game without even opening the manual" really don't do her any favours.
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