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Stormrise Review

PlayStation 3 PC Xbox 360 Review by Dan Pearson

30 March, 2009

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Does anyone remember Greenclaws? He was a corpulent, anthropomorphic maggot beast, reminiscent of the protagonist from Fat Worm Blows a Sparky, who hung around with a retarded woman and a mechanical owl on his own TV programme in the late 80s. Each episode involved a contrived disaster, which forced the couple to open Greenclaws' box of special magic seeds, selecting a gaudy, intriguing little kernel and germinating it over the course of the show inside a hollow tree. At the end, the tree would open and there would be a plant inside, invariably bearing crushingly disappointing fruit, such as shoe polish or dusters. I think once it was cake, but it was carrot cake, so it doesn't count.

The point is that the seeds were always the interesting part. Shiny, brightly coloured and full of promise, there was always the mystery, the unknowing, the possibility that this week, against all odds, a plant bearing toy soldiers or Micro Machines would sprout inside the tree; that the over-hyped seed would finally come good and something truly special would bloom. Anyway, those of you well-versed in the interpretation of painfully extended analogies may already have guessed that Stormrise's success is best expressed in terms of a tree bearing curtain hooks, owl pellets and the fingernail clippings of a man with haemorrhoids and no social mores.

When I first saw the game, tucked safely away behind the PR barrier at SEGA's Brentford offices, I was cautiously impressed. Wowed by the simplicity and effectiveness of the Whip Select, in particular, I was willing to accept that what I was watching could be a generational leap for the genre.

Whip Select seems like such a pure premise. Simply hold the right stick in any direction (or click and drag on PC) and a beam of light emanates from your current unit. Direct it to one of the icons representing a friendly unit and release, and the camera flicks instantly over, settling into a third-person perspective a few feet above them. It works. In a sense. As far as selecting units goes, it's functional. You can, as promised, flick instantly from one side of the map to the other, or rattle rapidly between engaged units and production nodes. I'll even concede that, also as promised, Whip Select does these things more quickly than a mouse and keyboard. Sadly, its functionality ends there.

'Stormrise' Screenshot 1

The low angle perspective is good for dramatic screenshots, but hopeless for almost everything else.

The first and prevailing issue is this: strategy games require a method of forming strategy. What this generally means is viewing a battlefield as a whole, complete with troop positions and movements, and directing your forces responsively and in co-ordination with one another. Stormrise, for all its rapidity of selection, simply does not allow you to do this. Because the camera is constantly fixed in a slightly elevated over-the-shoulder view for whichever unit is currently under your command, and the environments around you are flaunting their 3D verticality by being all vertical, it's impossible to see more than a few metres in any direction. Sure, this is what it's like for soldiers on the ground, but that's why armies have generals, which is, after all, the role that RTS gamers are supposed to find themselves in.

Co-ordinating attacks is nigh on impossible, especially if you try and flank enemy positions, because troops can only be moved to a cursor, positioned within visual range, or sent toward the icons of other units. Moving a unit to a position out of line-of-sight and so far unoccupied is a painful process of tiny increments, making three-point turns around buildings or obstacles. By the time they arrive, the troops assaulting whatever it was you were trying to flank will usually either have triumphed or been annihilated, rendering the entire manoeuvre pointless. The most successful tactic I discovered, at least on the more cluttered maps, was to accumulate a stockpile of the game's single resource, send a unit out until they made contact and then spam other units onto their position direct from the constructing base, hoping that the steady stream would eventually overcome resistance.

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Comments: 1-42 of 42 in total

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DerFlange
30/03/09 @ 06:38
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ouchy!. right inthe balls.
Ignatius_Cheese
30/03/09 @ 06:51
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Greenclaws was brilliant! This game appears to be less so...
ChrisS
30/03/09 @ 07:08
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I'd say even a 3 is generous. One of the worst games I've played in a long, long time.
seasidebaz
30/03/09 @ 07:18
#4
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Kojimanalogy levels detected!

Rewrite Greenclaws analogy in Powerpoint!
RazedInWhite
30/03/09 @ 07:26
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I don't think I've heard one person say they actually enjoyed this game. That's a special kind of something.
Sunyavadin
30/03/09 @ 07:42
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I am disappointed. You got my hopes up thinking this was a Greenclaws game.
Madafunkola
30/03/09 @ 07:46
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Funny thing - I was singing a song from Greenclaws at the weekend...
"On my bike, on my bike, that's the exercise I like..."


... I was on my bike at the time.
Ryuken
30/03/09 @ 07:47
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No KKnD 3 then.
Chufty
30/03/09 @ 07:52
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Entirely expected.

Also, why is a multiplatform game in the PS3 section not the Xbox 360 section? You confused me, Eurogamer!
mingster
30/03/09 @ 08:03
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Ive never heard of greenclaws.
chessboxer
30/03/09 @ 08:04
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The reviewed the PS3 version, which is why it's in the PS3 section. The same happens when they review the 360 version of a multiplatform game.
Optimaximal
30/03/09 @ 08:23
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Another DirectX 10 exclusive the huddled XP masses can ignore AND berate. *sigh*
ZuluHero
30/03/09 @ 08:26
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is this a viking '3' or a genuine 3?
kangarootoo
30/03/09 @ 08:44
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This has got "not enough development time" written all over it. I can't believe that a bit of play testing and enough time to react to the findings couldn't have sorted a lot of these issues out. And the reference to an overview map you can't use for commands (the sort of thing that gets hacked in very late with no functionality) seals my opinion. It just sounds like they were so pushed for time that just getting the thing built was as much as they could manage, and that no time was left over for review and changes. A shame.
DFawkes
30/03/09 @ 09:02
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I just got a PM advertising this game, on this site that gave it a 3/10 and generally negative review. I think I might not buy this regardless of PMed adverts.
Ignatius_Cheese
30/03/09 @ 09:03
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Hehe indeed! Nice PM there :o)
20charactersmax
30/03/09 @ 09:07
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SEGA is probably not happy about buying the PM ad now.

schnide
30/03/09 @ 09:07
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I remember Greenclaws.

I also remember when Sega didn't used to make predictably shit games out of both new and old IP.

The days of both of the above are long, long gone.
Ignatius_Cheese
30/03/09 @ 09:08
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At least we can all enjoy one thing out of this whole experience.

@ mingster - Especially for you...
Krelle
30/03/09 @ 09:09
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ZuluHero
You should buy/rent it and find out yourself (:
Buztafen
30/03/09 @ 09:16
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Anyone just got the 'STORMRISE - OUT NOW' message from EG....made me chuckle :)
Baranga
30/03/09 @ 09:26
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Should've used the funds for Empire instead of pouring them into this crap. Maybe Empire would have been less buggy, eh?
Cappy
30/03/09 @ 09:33
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Oh dear.

A pity Sega didn't throw money into more Valkyria Chronicles instead. Their best game for years. The best SRPG released in years.
Edited 4 times, most recently on 30/03/09 @ 10:41
hiddenranbir
30/03/09 @ 09:36
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Stick to Total War, CA ;)
UncleLou
30/03/09 @ 09:37
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Oh, wow.

Is that from the Australian team then, the one who did Medieval 2?
cragtek
30/03/09 @ 09:38
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Yep, CA Oz responsible for this one.
Gnort
30/03/09 @ 09:41
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Guess I'll be sticking with Endwar, then.
kinky_mong
30/03/09 @ 09:42
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That first paragraph was legendary! I vividly remember Greenclaws but could never remember the name of it.

Not so legendary is yet another PM advertising a dreadful game. Less of this please EG.
Machetazo
30/03/09 @ 10:13
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The end result being an RTS in which there's an overview map (that it's clear from the review, that you crucially NEED, given the viewpoints of battle on offer) but it's mere decoration. Then, the dumb-as-fuk AI of this mess needs its hand held like a kid going to creche. This applies to any and every unit?! The game itself, on the whole, retains its enduring look of blah. Another one that didn't work out. Although, with this extent of deepest flaws, it really had no right to expect any other treatment at review. How disappointing.
RobotRocker
30/03/09 @ 10:42
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A+ for the Fat Worm Blows A Sparky refrence
monkeywithnoeyes
30/03/09 @ 11:56
#31
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"A change is coming to RTS on consoles" - yes, they're getting lower marks
NewbieZilla
30/03/09 @ 12:52
#32
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Funny to get a message in my inbox about... This.
tinners
30/03/09 @ 13:03
#33
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*claps* Seriously managing a 3 is a feat in itself if it was possible id give this a ZERO!!!!!!

shadowkiller11
30/03/09 @ 14:44
#34
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as usual a terrible review
jglover4
30/03/09 @ 15:47
#35
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And thanks to Eurogamer for sending me a PM letting me know that it's "OUT NOW".
Silvervein
30/03/09 @ 16:21
#36
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Is it that surprising to see people trying to change rts to fit console monkey gizmo controller thingy after it was done to shooters? After all, rts is about second most churned out game type, after fps. They want some cash that flows on pc side. Of course, some attempts will be a bit on horrid side, like this one. But give it couple years and you'll see that the only pc rts's will be poorly done ports of console postapocalyptic rts mutants.
ArchMarduk
30/03/09 @ 19:48
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almost took the words from my mind .... as it is said abour more and more release's lately "it had potential". Too bad.
autogunner
30/03/09 @ 21:58
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what about the actual game? is there a campagain map or jsut a linear progression?

What would make RTS viable on consoles would be more autonomy from the units, like in CoH where you can basically order a couple of squads and a tank to take a sector and let them get on with it, they can defend properly and if they are really getting done over the game will let you know so you can just retreat them.

I reckon dawn of war 2 would have done really well on consoles with this whip select thing
Latch
31/03/09 @ 01:03
#39
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It's pretty obvious that this was an "hour long" review and that it. I've played the game and yes, initially the controls are hard to get used to. However, once you do get used to them, the game gets a hell of a lot more fun. I think he expected to be good at the game immediately after picking it up and now he's got a bruised ego after being trampled by the AI.

Sure it's hard to get used to initially, but it's actually pretty fun and rewarding once you get a handle on it. So yeah, if you don't want to learn something new / different, give it a miss.
3william56
31/03/09 @ 07:04
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Isn't the whole point that the God view of most RTS is bollocks - real generals use radio and maybe cameras held by their own troops (or did; dunno if real time satellite is up to it yet despite what Tom Clancy would have us believe), so being restricted to the point of view of your own units and lookouts is actually realistic? Montogmery and his command staff couldn't use mouse area select on those wooden shapes pushed around big maps by cute lady army types in the war.

Is it really that bad, or is it another example of lazy vid game conventions have made us soft (hello FPSs with rest and regenerate health, or health packs) and any attempt to inject a degree of realism is met with howls of "too hard" from time poor reviewers?
sickpuppysoftware
31/03/09 @ 21:40
#41
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True story - I "inherited" a videotape with porn on it that somebody had had held normal TV before being overwritten. If you mistimed it you would get the start of a greenclaws episode whilst on the vinegar strokes.
ExplodingClown
09/04/09 @ 16:32
#42
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@latch & 3william56

I suspect that what really kills this game, and certainly sounds like a good reason for me to keep my money firmly in my wallet, are problems like the ropey AI, missing animations etc.

'Sacrifice' managed to turn in a bloody good RTS experience where you could only see from your general's point of view, but that had been polished until it shone. This sounds like it was knocked out fast and barely tested.

Comments: 1-42 of 42 in total

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