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DS Roundup Review

DS Review by Ellie Gibson

9 July, 2008

Page 3 of 5. <- Page 2Page 4 ->

Undercover: Dual Motives

Hmm. A quick tally reveals that's two games which work properly and are entertaining if you like that sort of thing. What kind of a roundup is this, anyway?

Have no fear, Undercover: Dual Motives is here. A spin-off of PC title Undercover: Operation Wintersun, It's a point-and-click adventure that tells the story of Dr John Russell. One day he's jogging along, minding his own business and conducting strange experiments at a mysterious UK nuclear research facility, the next he's being accused of treason. So what's a man to do but attempt to clear his name via a series of increasingly tedious fetch-quests?

The gameplay in Undercover: Dual Motives consists entirely of finding a thing, using it to do a thing, then having a conversation with someone who tells you you need to find another thing, and going to find the thing. There is no sense of suspense or mystery whatsoever. It is impossible to care about any of the characters or what happens to them. The whole thing is entirely linear - you just follow an endless series of mundane instructions and any attempt to deviate from the path results in nothing happening at all.

'DS Roundup' Screenshot 3

The lock-picking mini-game. As much fun as it looks.

It looks horrible. Everything is brown. Characters move painfully slowly, bumbling through the mud like robots powered by batteries from a pound shop. Their conversations are banal and plodding. And they are pathetic. One of the early puzzles tasks you with finding a way to eavesdrop on a conversation. You send Audrey, John's assistant, into the ladies' toilet, and discover she can hear mumblings from the air vent. You try to get her to remove the covering, but she replies, "I can't raise the vent, I am too small and fragile."

So, logically, you switch control to John, and try to send him into the ladies. But he won't go. "Never!" says John. "That's no place for a gentleman!"

"Okay John," says you. "Piss off then. Go to prison for treason. Much better you should do that than risk stumbling across a box of Tampax and dying of shame. I hate you, I hate this game and they are not paying me enough to keep playing it. Goodbye."

2/10

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Comments: 1-23 of 23 in total

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rob76
09/07/08 @ 07:15
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Struggling to come up with the answer to the (4, 2) clue.

Such a shame you are giving coverage to that filthy rag on a respectable site like this.

DO NOT BUY THE SUN.
Dillinger
09/07/08 @ 07:28
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no seperate review for DS LEGO indy then? :-/
Krelle
09/07/08 @ 07:31
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swap "respectable" with "page-hit crazy" since a special someone took over the site ~half a year ago and im with you, rob
DanWhitehead
09/07/08 @ 07:32
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Struggling to come up with the answer to the (4, 2) clue.

PISS ON.

As The Sun delightfully claimed Liverpool fans did to dead bodies at Hillsborough.
rob76
09/07/08 @ 07:45
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I know this is a games review site and as such this issue is unrelated, but I can't help asking why, seeing you are aware of the immense pain and anger this rag has caused (and still does), give it any exposure at all? Reviewing, or not, a low budget largely insignificant game wouldn't have made any difference to this site's popularity.
Krelle
09/07/08 @ 08:39
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I wonder if they care Arbiter? (not flaming, just asking! :o)
They must have seen the increase of "angry posters" since a while back, but.. Either the cash check is big enough to swallow it, or they aint better than us posters and just says fuck it and flames back (with even worse headlines etc).
Rirekon
09/07/08 @ 08:43
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The Dr Who Top Trumps actually looks like quite good fun, might pick that up if I see it
Killerbee
09/07/08 @ 08:46
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FFS, is someone handing out sense-of-humour bypasses this morning?

Yes, the Sun is unspeakably shit for all sorts of reasons, but sadly plenty of people still read it, so it's perfectly legitimate for EG to review their crossword game. And, tabloid branding aside, it's not a bad idea for a casual DS title.

As for Hillsborough - yes it was a tragic event and no one should ever forget that, but the gag was a shot at the Sun for exactly the reasons most people have come to hate what that paper stands for: sensationalist and controversy-courting headlines. If you didn't find it funny, then just move on.

I really enjoyed this round up. And I'm going to have that Cities of Gold theme going round my head all day now... :)
Edited 1 times, most recently on 09/07/08 @ 09:46
Ranger101
09/07/08 @ 09:25
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Fantastic piece of writing. I got half way through reading this and though... hang on, this reads like a Gibson work of art, and a quick scroll up confirmed it. (Not to mention it was a round up of naff games).
Edited 1 times, most recently on 09/07/08 @ 10:27
Banjokazooie
09/07/08 @ 09:25
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@ KillerBee.

If someone finds something offensive they should speak up - 'moving on' won't change anybody's behaviour. I've no affiliation with Liverpool in anyway but I still found the joke in poor taste - it stuck out like a sore thumb. It may have been a pop at the Sun but it did it by dragging up the same filthy imagery as they used - that's why it's a bad joke. It has nothing to do with a SOH bypass - quite the opposite.
rhubarbandcustard
09/07/08 @ 09:43
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The Sun is undoubtedly shit, but why on earth is anyone buying a newspaper still in this day and age? Read the friggin' internet.

Oh, and Nintendo console in shit games round up shocker :)
JeroenZM
09/07/08 @ 10:38
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I was about to give Ellie an A+ for including that Cure song but then she ruined it by bringing back memories of that horrible Cities of Gold cartoon.
Gaol
09/07/08 @ 10:54
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+kudos for the Ulysses and Dogtantian references.
romanista
09/07/08 @ 11:29
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stratego is ofcourse part of 42 all time classics too

mingster
09/07/08 @ 11:40
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Ok children of the sun was pants... G-Force Battle of the planets with the Transvestite Zoltar was the kiddie though.
Can't see any UUU--LEEE-SYYYS --- song/cartoon references.
Dogtanion again has no place in my memory.
Rev. Stuart Campbell
09/07/08 @ 16:43
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To be fair, I imagine Stratego is made quite a bit more challenging by the fact that it's all in French.
Krelle
09/07/08 @ 16:53
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The crossword and Who-games are rated "as if your are into that sort of thing". Which is fine by me. Im not, so Ill skip it, but its good to know they are solid games.

My problem is that most reviews on EG dont follow this "rule" at all.
Theres been alot of great games getting pisspoor scores just becouse the reviewer aint into that sort of thing. Shmups/brawlers/puzzlers etc.

(Sorry to bring this up again, but..)
Also, would you say MGS4 is rated from this perspective? I dont think alot of people "that are into MGS" would ever give it an 8.

Rev. Stuart Campbell
09/07/08 @ 17:35
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Oh, piss off. If you like it, what the fuck do you care what score it got?
Krelle
09/07/08 @ 18:50
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lolz, had a bad day Rev?

Not againt the mgs4 score per se, just the method they use. 2008 /= rolling a T10
Edited 1 times, most recently on 09/07/08 @ 19:51
shadaik
09/07/08 @ 19:07
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Hmm, it's Doctor Who, which is good; but it's Trumps which is boring. Well, does it come with a sonic screwdriver stylus? Otherwise: No, thanks.
espibara
11/07/08 @ 08:59
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Eurogamer in working class newspaper slur.

SHOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lucky_jim
13/07/08 @ 11:44
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Did anyone else notice that EG's filename for the picture of The Sun's "stunna" is d2notitsa.jpg? Is this a comment on the girl herself, or just the way the photo's been cropped? I think we should be told!
Futaba
13/07/08 @ 16:22
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I wonder how many STDs that prostitute on the first page has?

Comments: 1-23 of 23 in total

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