L.A. Noire: Nicholson Electroplating Review

By John Teti Published 23 June, 2011

Boom town.

Version tested: Xbox 360

Nicholson Electroplating is like an extra spleen that's been cloned from the stem cells of L.A. Noire and grafted onto its armpit. Sure, it's a mighty fine spleen and all, but if you're just gonna stick it on there, don't be surprised when it fails to come alive.

L.A. Noire is an organism; it can't be broken up into modules. That's what makes L.A. Noire so special, and Nicholson Electroplating so not.

The Nicholson case, a downloadable add-on released this Tuesday, opens with a boom that spreads shrapnel and destruction across a half-dozen city blocks and lofts a mushroom cloud into the air. The epicentre of the blast is the titular metal-treatment plant, which is obliterated.

Playing as Cole Phelps, you and fellow arson detective Herschel Biggs rush to the disaster scene, where you quickly uncover evidence of an experimental aluminium-treatment technique. Because nothing is simple in Phelps' L.A., a miasma of corporate and international intrigue surrounds this lucrative process.

The case inserts itself into the L.A. Noire timeline at an awkward moment. It comes in the middle of the third act, during Phelps' stint as an arson detective. (By the way, I'm going to touch lightly on some plot details of that third act now, so if that offends your sensibilities, skip down a few paragraphs.)

Phelps' arson assignment is when L.A. Noire transforms from "only" an interesting game into an outstanding one. In the manner of all great noir thrillers, the game grabs all its dangling threads and weaves them together.

Those newspaper cut-scenes and war flashbacks; the tantalising near-adequacy of the interview system; the game's insistence on methodical, by-the-numbers police work: they all now sing in harmony.

1

I TOLD him not to move his Xbox while the disc was spinning! And now look.

The game gets bold here. A new protagonist squeezes Phelps out of the picture for a while. It's a courageous creative decision that pays off. Phelps' war "buddy" Jack Kelso finally provides a proper foil to our hero. Kelso gives Phelps some depth and, in a certain light, turns him into something of an anti-hero.

As the facts come together in the Kelso/Phelps arson investigation, it's increasingly hard to tell where the action is going to turn. It's like the approaching resolution of the mystery is closing in on L.A. Noire, and in response the game turns into a cornered cat. It's ready to lash out in any direction. Because L.A. Noire wears so many guises, there are a lot of ways it can go: a shootout, a tense interview, a careful hunt for clues?

L.A. Noire's fragile glories depend on the confluence of a huge number of threads. Nicholson Electroplating doesn't have confluence. In a game where context is everything, this case sits alone.

There is some hand-waving dialogue at the outset of the case that nods toward the main story. Phelps and partner Biggs vamp for the cameras a bit. Gee, we really should be working on that time-sensitive, life-or-death case, shouldn't we? Then there's a big explosion. It's the developers' way of saying, "And now: This."

2

Tip: You can tell he's lying on account of he's wearing a hat.

Because it can't fit into the flow of L.A. Noire proper, this fragment, Nicholson Electroplating, has to find other ways to justify its existence. Fatally, it chooses to take each of L.A. Noire's individual "features" and amp them up a little.

No game can be evaluated merely as the sum of its parts, but L.A. Noire is especially resistant to compartmentalisation. Much like Heavy Rain before it (and maybe more so), if you break this game down into a list of features, the whole thing dissolves into farce.

Taken alone, the gunplay is generic. The driving is sort of clumsy. Searching for clues is a glorified point-and-click exercise.

Rockstar played up its facial-scanning technology in advance of the game's release. We were supposed to drool: Ooh, the faces, the faces, look at these faces! How did we ever play games without all these FACES?

The faces look nice enough, but the game's insistence on showing off that technology can be laughable. Most lying suspects "hide" their guilt with all the subtlety of a Charlie Chaplin character with black pepper up his nose.

My mom happened to be in town while I was playing Nicholson Electroplating for this review. She caught a glimpse of Cole Phelps walking in place after he hit a wall, and she giggled. She said, "This reminds me of Clutch Cargo," a 1960s cartoon with famously crude animation. So much for faces.

I would like to see Rockstar executives talk about the incredible realism of L.A. Noire's characters while behind them, a huge screen shows what Cole Phelps looks like when he is climbing a ladder.

Then there is the Truth/Doubt/Lie interrogation system. You must choose one of these options each time a suspect answers one of your questions. Choose the right one, and you hear a three-note jingle of success. Otherwise you get the sad music.

The internal logic that determines which choice is correct can be outrageously obscure. There have been times when I thought the game should be called L.A. Sad Music.

It's a recipe for one of the silliest games of this console generation - except that in practice, it's one of the best. Incorporated into the whole, all this stuff works.

Pounding pavement for clues in the Hall of Records is exciting, because you have a feeling that this is where you'll finally peel back the curtain on those shifty insider types. It doesn't seem mundane; it seems like the world is about to change.

3

Look out, motorists! I'm driving on the British side for my Eurogamer pals today. Plus, I stole this fire truck.

And while the frustration of a misfired line of questioning never feels good, a little pain is OK. Because over time, the ever-present potential for failure ratchets up the tension of every interrogation. (The capriciousness of the system has the added benefit of being honest: luck and gut instinct play a part in real-life interviews, too.)

Nicholson Electroplating doesn't benefit from this larger flow, and as such, the inanity of L.A. Noire's component parts are laid bare.

The case brings you to an airplane hangar to search for clues. The logic seems to be that if hunting for clues in a small room is fun, then hunting in an enormous building must be a rare treat! And certainly not sadistically boring!

The car-chase feature has also been isolated and turned up to 11, insofar as it is a longer-than-usual car chase. Your partner screams that you need to get closer so he can take out the guy's tyres.

He fires off shot after shot, but he never hits those tyres. Because if he did, you would never get to experience the splendour of this lengthened car case. Truly, it is of somewhat greater duration than you are accustomed.

Also, there's this one part where you shoot a bunch of guys, and there sure are a lot of guys.

4

Howard Hughes' Spruce Goose. Also pictured: Cole Phelps' Spruce Caboose.

The case isn't entirely misconceived. Recognising the need to have some larger stakes as a driving force behind the individual set pieces, the developers incorporate the great Hollywood figure of Howard Hughes - specifically, his "Spruce Goose" boondoggle - and the lesser-known O'Connor Electro-Plating Corp. explosion, which happened much as the game portrays it. (The O'Connor incident is recounted with entertaining colour in a 1947 Time magazine article.)

Yet the strength of L.A. Noire is myth-making, and this feels closer to myth-borrowing. That's not to say that L.A. Noire proper isn't also inspired by actual Los Angeles lore; it is. Yet in the broader game, over the course of many hours, those bits of legend metastasise and intertwine and grow into a thriving experience of their own.

Nicholson Electroplating doesn't have time for that slow-burn organic process. It attempts a brute-force attack on greatness and comes up short. Yet the contrast between this expansion and the main game sheds a revealing light on the thoughtful craftsmanship of experience that makes L.A. Noire such a treasure.

5 / 10

Read the Eurogamer.net scoring policy
Picture of John.

About John Teti

John Teti is a writer and producer based in New York. His interests include games, TV, cake, and being a writer and producer based in New York.

Read more articles from John by visiting the John Teti archive page.

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Comments (76) Latest comment 11 months ago

Comments for this article are now closed, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • BBIAJ #1 11 months ago

    John Teti LOL!

    I can't trust a word this guy writes after his 4/10 Mafia II review.

  • welshben23 #2 11 months ago

    I only just noticed who the reviewer was, thanks BBIAJ! :) So this is really at least 8/10 then?

  • berelain #3 11 months ago

    "Because L.A. Noire wears so many guises, there are a lot of ways it can go: a shootout, a tense interview, a careful hunt for clues?"

    Those would be all three of the ways it can go, in fact. Unless you count a hostage chase as separate. Which it isn't, really.

    I dunno, maybe I was one of the few people who actually couldn't help *but* compartmentalise the aspects of LA Noire, and found each of the aspects to be rather lacking. Great story, but terrible mechanics.
    Edited by berelain at 23/06/11 @ 14:14

  • Lexx87 #4 11 months ago

    John Teti is awesome.

    You guys need to listen to the E3 podcasts.

  • SBfistfun #5 11 months ago

    mom
    Eh?

  • Oli Verified Reviews Editor, Eurogamer.net #6 11 months ago

    @SBfistfun - John is American. It didn't seem right to change that to mum. She's not his mum, she's his mom.

  • MattEdWithCheese #7 11 months ago

    yeah, not a fan of teti reviews either, especially the use of pretentious language. Plus this review is inconsistent, praising the game yet complaining about the dynamics that make it up but if I break this review down into a list of features, the whole thing dissolves into farce...

  • mk-1601 #8 11 months ago

    John Teti LOL indeed.

    @Oli - A shame you/EG took a similarly hands-off approach to the ludicrous Mafia II review.

  • doragor #9 11 months ago

    Good review. I was also quite disappointed by this case, compared to the cracking Naked City DLC. The search for clues in the hangar was really irritating and the car chase was quite punishing compared to the others in the game. Still, I'm looking forward to 'Reefer Madness' and the game overall is one of my favourites of the year so far.

    By the way, maybe Eurogamer could arrange a podcast via Skype or something similar and get Mr. Teti involved on a more regular basis. His hosting of the E3 podcasts was gold.

  • wizlon #10 11 months ago

    Nicholson Electroplankton?

  • ZizouFC #11 11 months ago

    Was he reviewing the game or the DLC?

  • X201 #12 11 months ago

    @Lexx87
    He's brilliant on the Podcast, his Mafia 2 review has left me wary of his reviews though.

  • Yuroko #13 11 months ago

    It's so fashionable to hate this game.

  • DiamondIce #14 11 months ago

    I haven't played this yet and tried to use willpower to not look at the score, especially seeing the name of the reviewer.

    If I use my John Teti review conversion algorithm and I add a pinch of Mafia 2 4/10 and find the difference between this and my opinion of the aforementioned game, perhaps this DLC will be worth more of a 7 or 8 for me.
    Edited by DiamondIce at 23/06/11 @ 14:34

  • CaptainQuint #15 11 months ago

    I didn't even finish this boring game.

    Revolutionary my arse. All style, no substance more like.

  • HurbleBurble #16 11 months ago

    'L.A. Sad Music' did make me laugh - perfectly encapsulates some of the frustration of the L.A. Noire in being too reliant on game mechanics rather than letting the game flow naturally without needing to be reminded of a cheap, artificial scoring mechanism that doesn't actually have much of an influence on the case at hand.

    Yes, L.A. Noire is particularly shallow in essentially being a series of mini-games and disappointed that this DLC thinks that more of each is better, particularly when in isolation they're rather dull, clunky and frustrating so the score seems about right. Having siad that though, the charm of L.A. Noire as a whole is the depth of the story and how it links together, and whilst it has it's faults, as an 'interactive experience', it's one of the best examples we've seen in this, or any gen - perhaps that's why this DLC falls down because in isolation, and without weaving in to the greater narrative, it does just feel soul-less and and dilutes the experience.

    Oh, but the trace evidence finding in a large area would be 'masochistic' on the behalf of the player. Sadism would be on the part of the designer in creating it in the first place.
    Edited by HurbleBurble at 23/06/11 @ 14:55

  • Mike1980 #17 11 months ago

    @wizlon Every time I read the title I say Electroplankton

  • Darren #18 11 months ago

    So 5/10 from John Teti... this DLC must be good then! ;)

  • ZizouFC #19 11 months ago

    "(By the way, I'm going to touch lightly on some plot details of that third act now, so if that offends your sensibilities, skip down a few paragraphs.)"

    Lightly? =/

    GOTY

  • RevanNL #20 11 months ago

    I can understand the reviewers comment about the place of this case in the main story. However, the rest of the review he's complaining that this DLC for LA Noire is bad because... it's LA Noire!? That's like someone reviewing DLC for Battlefield 3, giving it 3 out of 10 because he thinks that Battlefield 3 is a horrible game.

  • Whitster #21 11 months ago

    Hang on was this a review or one of those "Why I hate...." opinion pieces?

  • MiniAmin #22 11 months ago

    John Teti's Mafia 2 review was on point. 5/10 = Average, the game was slightly worse than Average therefore it received a 4/10. Did anyone actually read the review or just the number at the end?

  • BBIAJ #23 11 months ago

    I read it.

    I LOL'd.

    I then made a mental note never to trust his critical output, if you can call it that, again.

  • X201 #24 11 months ago

    Was it the Mafia II review that caused the 2K blacklisting?

  • BradlayLaw #25 11 months ago

    What? I thought this was the best case in the game.

  • BBIAJ #26 11 months ago

    More likely Shinji's Capture the Babe meltdown, and EG's assertion to Randy Pitchford that DNF looked dated.

  • ubergine #27 11 months ago

    The reviewer comes across as juvenile and pretentious. There's been a bunch of reviews lately which makes it seem like Eurogamer is being handed over to the next generation of inexperienced teenagers. It had to happen eventually I guess.
    Edited by ubergine at 23/06/11 @ 15:19

  • Daeltaja #28 11 months ago

    This is the score he would have given vanilla Noire.

    I would have agreed.

    Teti is one of the few reviewers that actually use the full scale. His 4/10 Mafia II review wasn't far off. It was the definition of average. Same goes for Noire, all smoke and mirrors. Take away the facial tech and it is a bog standard game at best.

    Why bother with a 1-10 scale if it won't be used? If it makes you feel better, you can bash the other reviewers for handing 8's to everything that we now percieve as 'good', with 7s being 'average'.
    Edited by Daeltaja at 23/06/11 @ 15:35

  • Zaiz #29 11 months ago

    Man, you guys never live anything down. He pointed out a simple truth about the game that was pointed out in the original review - the mechanics are meh but the story is fantastic, and so that this DLC focuses on the mechanics because it can't quite weave into the story is a fairly poor decision.

    They should go the way of GTAIV's DLC and release it all as stand-alone "mini"campaigns. Seems much smarter than shoehorning in extra cases.

  • spekkeh #30 11 months ago

    I then made a mental note never to trust his critical output, if you can call it that, again.

    Because, god forbid, somebody would actually be critical, right?

  • metalangel #31 11 months ago

    Yes, he's sort of reviewed it again. Good, I say, this review says things that needed to be said about the game as a whole.

    It's a game of contradictions, bad writing and illogical design. That it starts to pick up in the final act is only so it can then throw away the excitement and interest it's finally built with the world's least interesting conspiracy; a conclusion that, like the rest of the story, doesn't grab your attention or go anywhere.

  • kinky_mong #32 11 months ago

    What a poor review, only the last quarter actually covered the DLC in question, the rest was yet another excuse for EG to fill an article with spoilers. Another laughable Teti effort.

  • Eldritch #33 11 months ago

    How come people from the US are writing reviews for EUROgamer?

    Shouldn't they rather focus on questioning people's sexual orientation in multiplayer games?
    Edited by Eldritch at 23/06/11 @ 15:44

  • Totza #34 11 months ago

    John Teti is an absolute joke of a "reviewer" I don't know how this game got such bad reviews from this site considering they then gave games like Dirt 3 a 9? pathetic

  • Totza #35 11 months ago

    John Teti is an absolute joke of a "reviewer" I don't know how this game got such bad reviews from this site considering they then gave games like Dirt 3 a 9? pathetic

  • king2001 #36 11 months ago

    I've yet to play L.A. Noire but all this talk of the "sad music" keeps bringing this to mind.

    Edited due to my linking stupidity
    Edited by king2001 at 23/06/11 @ 15:56

  • jablonski #37 11 months ago

    @Yuroko
    "It's so fashionable to hate this game."

    5/10 is the score the main game should have clearly got.
    In my first hour of play, the game was verging on a 10/10 from me. But 3 hours in, I was beginning to realise that there was nothing else this game had to offer. The same dull series of mechanics over and over.

    A massive shame to be honest. The world is there, but nothing to do in it.

  • StolenGlory #38 11 months ago

    Looks like LA Noire is getting a PC release after all:

    [link url=http://www.vg247.com/2011/06/23/la-noire-to-launch-on-pc-ths-fall/
    ]http://www.vg247.com/2011/06/23/la-noire...[/link]

  • Cronan #39 11 months ago

    A Teti 5/10? I'm going to like this ...

    John Teti is like a friend of mine who I like to refer to as the "anti-investor". When he tells me that something is a "sure thing" I know to start shorting it.

  • Wedge1985 #40 11 months ago

    As far as I can tell, he's given the DLC a 5/10 as, when compared to the main game, it's not that good. Not too sure what the complaint is about.

    As far as I can tell he praises the main game for its mechanics but says that they've taken these too far in the DLC which then makes it long winded and a bit rubbish.

    Judging by the comments from people that have played it, he's spot on.

  • EVERYGAMER #41 11 months ago

    Surely if i've got the game and been playing it but not got to the arson section then downloading this will make it fit in perfectly with the story line? Or are all the DL missions accessed seperately from the game?

  • Jonny5Alive7 #42 11 months ago

    Disappointing.

    I have a new respect for John Teti after the E3 podcasts, they were great.

  • metalangel #43 11 months ago

    @Eldritch: Likewise, why are you reading a gaming site?

    Shouldn't you be off with your fellow intolerants on the Daily Mail website bitching about how much you hate foreigners?

  • PixelPirate #44 11 months ago

    Messy review is a mess.

  • metalangel #45 11 months ago

    @Everygamer: The Naked City DLC case, at least, just showed up during the course of my normal playthrough.

  • miiiguel #46 11 months ago

    Shouldn't they rather focus on questioning people's sexual orientation in multiplayer games?

    Wow, that was a realy stupid and xenophobic thing to say. Though I do know not every European are like that.

    edit: well, maybe all the Germans are like that, because we all know they are Nazis.
    Edited by miiiguel at 23/06/11 @ 16:49

  • johnteti #47 11 months ago

    @EVERYGAMER: Good question. The mission will indeed show up for you in the course of playing the arson part of the game. That's also how I reviewed the DLC -- I went back and played through a couple missions before and after the DLC to experience it in the flow of the game rather than just by itself.

  • Gastrian #48 11 months ago

    Post deleted at 17:56:43 13-04-2012

  • obidanshinobi #49 11 months ago

    LA Noire has been this years Gran Turismo 5 for me.
    Was really excited about it before release, bought it on day 1 and couldn't wait to get home from work to play it, disappointed in the game after playing it for a while (expectations prob too high), but I would still rate it 8 out of 10 despite its many flaws.

  • X201 #50 11 months ago

    @johnteti

    Look at it this way, at least no one has told you to "Get cancer" so things are improving :)

    Loved the E3 podcasts by the way, I would suggest that they get you over for the GamesCom ones, but I don't want to upset Venatio.

    edit=typo
    Edited by X201 at 23/06/11 @ 17:06

  • justsomeone #51 11 months ago

    john's reviews are far and away my favourites...there are some idiots in this thread - "i don't like the reviewer because he doesn't think the same as me and all my friends!"

  • zm26 #52 11 months ago

    Post deleted at 13:15:51 16-05-2012

  • Stompy #53 11 months ago

    Post deleted at 23:13:35 17-04-2012

  • Wheatley #54 11 months ago

    @Eldritch

    If you want to make racist and small-minded comments, there's always dailymail.co.uk

  • DiamondIce #55 11 months ago

    @justsomeone
    Nothing of the sort.

    But this is a man that went out of his way to mention the vibration when the character landed in Limbo. Unless I am mistaken games have been doing this for a while now.

  • stephenb #56 11 months ago

    A lot of the people on here have obviously looked at the score and not bothered reading the words that came before it.

    John was fantastic in the E3 podcasts and I thoroughly enjoy the reviews he writes as well.

    Finished the case this afternoon & I'm inclined to agree with him.

  • Theticket #57 11 months ago

    A witty, cogent and appropriate review. You were too kind to the main game, though, Mr Teti. It was shite, just like this downloadable content, it would appear. Don't listen to the morons here; they barely have a brain between them.

  • pinebear #58 11 months ago

    I TOLD him not to move his Xbox while the disc was spinning! And now look.
    I LOLd. And then I looked at the faces.

  • Boomerang #59 11 months ago

    I'm frankly stunned no-one's mentioned the use of "metastasise" yet!

    I like the way you put words together Teti. Entertaining read as always; more so because I have no investment in this until the obligatory GotY edition appears.

  • Gromit #60 11 months ago

    The best thing about this game (for me) was the scale and feel of the city. Other than the film reels (yet another Godfather (game) rip-off), there was nothing to go looking for, no reason to to explore it.

    It does bode well for the next GTA at least.

  • EVERYGAMER #61 11 months ago

    @johnteti

    Thanks for clearing that up. I have been enjoying the game but it is very disjointed and I tend to find I dont so much play the game as take on a case at a time :)

  • Rack #62 11 months ago

    Fortunately I'm onto Teti's game so I didn't even read it. Haven't finished the original yet and LA Noire is one of those games you just do not want spoiled.

  • spekkeh #63 11 months ago

    @johnteti please don't listen to the people who have penis issues about people criticizing their favorite game, and keep fighting the good fight. Or actually, just keep doing your job, critiquing games unperturbed by how many millions the publisher has splurged at it, and pointing out flaws everyone is all too quick to overlook.

  • spekkeh #64 11 months ago

    (by the way I do really like this game, but found Teti's remarks to be quite insightful)

  • Ashcroft #65 11 months ago

    In a matter of months it'll be more for all the DLC than the game itself. DLC should add to and extend the life of a game, not be released constantly on and around release. This is the first non EA Sports game that's struck me as taking the piss with how much DLC they have ready so close to launch.

  • metalangel #66 11 months ago

    @Ashcroft: They have two whole 'desks' (burglary and a weird period term for conning people, can't think of it) they haven't included, how much of that they actually filmed and recorded is another thing, but you do notice it's missing in a few places when Phelps refers to the burglary desk.

  • HurbleBurble #67 11 months ago

    @MetalAngel - The second 'missing' desk would be 'Bunco'

  • Vixremento #68 11 months ago

    I haven't played L.A. Noire yet so I don't now how this DLC fits in with the rest (I wanted to see how much effort they were putting into these though for a game that seems to come across as loved by some and hated by others).

    In general I try to ignore who the reviewer is (just for the record I thought Mafia II didn't even deserve a 4/10...it was so bad I couldn't keep playing it for more than the first two hours - I really loved the first one though. strange, huh?).

  • TheBusterMan #69 11 months ago

    Well I found it a very over rated game.Kinda enjoyed it,but don't think I'll return for a while.Didn't feel the atmos as I'd thought I would....

  • coomber #70 11 months ago

    It's a shame that this review is part of the new trend on Eurogamer. Some bad attempts at humour and the only new details of the game he seems able to describe are the plot. Good grief.

  • cobaltfram #71 11 months ago

    I stopped reading at "transforms into an outstanding game."

  • duffers #72 11 months ago

    Does anyone here have criticial sensibilities of their own, or do they require a number to inform them what they should think? One review is funnily enough, one person's take. It can't be right or wrong, because it's all subjective and thus, not a definite science. What is one person's cup of tea may not be another's. You can agree or disagree with what they say, but you can't prove it either way. This is partly why scoring is so daft, because people actually think it's possible to weigh up one against another, as a definitive way of comparing. How exactly do you compare an apple to an orange? Reviews are guidelines, but they're not conclusive and they don't relieve you of the ability to make up your own opinion.

  • Craven #73 11 months ago

    I've not played or own any of the DLC but i have to agree with the other points about this game. Sure it's a nice looking game and the facial animations are also (at times) very good but for me at least you have a repetitive linear game with a story line which only gets going towards the final act (Arson). There just isn't anything else to do besides go from a-b, question people, search for clues at a scene, have a gun fight/fist fight and have car chases.

    For me at least it's at best a 7/10 game, perhaps more 6/10. I'm not sure by the sounds of things the DLC will be any different so i won't bother with it.

  • Azhrarn #74 11 months ago

    "I can't trust a word this guy writes after his 4/10 Mafia II review. "

    That actually makes me trust him even more. Although I would have given Mafia II a 6/10.

  • jimjiber #75 11 months ago

    @Yuroko - Fashionable to hate this game? Really? I don't hate the game but have been sorely disappointed with it. I also think that Mafia II is a better game that also captures the era more adeptly.

  • PameBoy #76 11 months ago

    Oh dear Christ. Apparently EG is happy enough to pay "writers" who don't even have a basic A-level grasp of how to use the English language. This reads like a set of rambling notes jotting out a series of barely-connected thoughts about the whole game, which he then posted wholesale because collating and ordering them into a structured article was too hard. You're supposed to be reviewing the DLC, not the entire game.

    And for God's sake, give your poor worn-out 'Enter' key a rest. You do not need a paragraph break after every bloody sentence. I'm forced to assume the reviewer's only actual writing experience comes from comment threads.