Version tested: iPhone
It's been three whole weeks since we last had the chance to cop a sly feel of the mobile gaming sector. You can blame E3, the deluge of PSN releases and the launch of the 3DS eStore/eShop/eByGum, but you categorically cannot blame me.
In the intervening weeks, my poor, game-fried eyes have been gathering lint like a soiled 1990s mouse, and it will be to the surprise of precisely no-one that there are a bajillion new releases to choose from - many of which are both ridiculously good and ridiculously cheap.
I've spared you much of it, mainly because I'm quite sure you don't want to spend all your money at once - so if your latest mobile squeeze doesn't feature this week, fear not, we'll get round to it. In other news: games!
- iPhone - £0.59
Normally it wouldn't be possible to get excited about a riff on Snake. Not unless the year was 1981 and Landscape were playing Einstein A Go-Go on Top Of The Pops.
But then Spilt Milk Studios comes along and whips off its velcro skirt in the name of light entertainment, introducing us to a plucky underdog hero called Lionel. I'm not even making this up.
As the former frontman of smooth soul combo The Commodores, his solo career hasn't taken off yet, and he's auditioning for Tron all night long, showing us his light cycle chops. The problem is, he can't slow down.
So there you are, riding around, turning at right angles, trying to mangle all your opponents by getting them to crash into your trail. It's a formula as old as gaming itself, but made more interesting by amusing quips and throbbing electronica.
It also has the decency to include a wide selection of modes, such as the self-explanatory Survival alongside the three-minute-limit Deadline, Time Attack, the kill-or-be-killed Piñata mode, the death-defying, all-or-nothing Gauntlet - and, of course, good old fashioned Snake.
Like most things in life, personality goes a long way, and Hard Lines has it in spades. And probably buckets as well.