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Mobile Games Roundup

Dead! Golf! Crackdown! Gravity! Isoball!

Oh look! Christmas is nearly here, and you're all sat nervously wondering what the hell to buy for your loved ones as the big day approaches. Well, if you have a partner who finds it exciting to receive the best that mobile gaming has to offer, then allow me to remind you of some of the best that I've had the pleasure of encountering over the past few months.

Top of the list is undoubtedly the mighty Game Dev Story. Now available on Android as well as iPhone, it's probably the best use of loose change imaginable. Elsewhere, check out the unbelievably addictive Flick Kick Football (Android, iOS), especially now that online multiplayer has been added, and don't forget the likes of Cut The Rope, Infinity Blade, Trainyard, Helsing's Fire, Numba, Piczle Lines and Mirror's Edge. Happy festivities!

Dead Rising Mobile

  • iPhone - £2.39

At a time when the zombie apocalypse has befallen the UK's airports, the concept of repeatedly swatting away the undead takes on a peculiar satisfaction. There's only so long you can reasonably be expected to stand in the Costa queue before something inside you breaks.

When polygons attack.

Grabbing the nearest bench/axe/lawnmower, in Dead Rising Mobile you begin to cut a swathe through the frothing, gurning mass. Severed limbs dispense a festive red as they arc gracefully through the winter gloom. (The things you have to do to get a gingerbread latte around here.)

Unfortunately, like winter airport travel, Dead Rising Mobile is an exercise in abject disappointment. After marvelling at the PS1-era character models and horrific animation, you'll be similarly aghast at the complete incoherence of the game's structure.

The gameplay involves little more than following a waypoint, finding a weapon, killing X number of zombies, and repeating the process until you either get bored or find something better to do with your life - like standing around not getting on a plane to see your in-laws.

You might somehow eke a crumb of satisfaction out of discovering new weapons, but the chances are it'll just make you want to boot up the real thing on a home console. The sooner this stench of mobile putrefaction is buried out of sight, the happier we'll all be.

2/10

Let's Golf 2 HD

  • Android - £3.00
  • Also available on iPhone and iPad - £2.99

Let's golf again! Like we did last summer! Sadly, contractual obligations prevent Chubby Checker from providing us with detailed personal insight into Gameloft's celebrated golfing sequel, but insiders point to him being "really hummin'".

Is it a bird?

Checker (real name Ernest Evans, 69), was said to be "especially pumped" about the simple pick-up-and-play nature of the gameplay, where you tap to set the power meter rising, tap again to confirm the power to apply, and then tap a third time to set the accuracy of your drive.

He was also [I see you're continuing with this –Ed] thought to be "psyched" about the jolly art style, and the presence of eight playable characters, each with their own ridiculous cheating special move, such as the ability to rewind time or stop the ball at will.

The one-time Twist superstar was thought to be "stoked" with the prospect of 108 holes across six contrasting locations, including a Winter Wonderland in Greenland. "I bet their bloody airports still function," Checker was heard to remark to a close friend. [And this. –Ed]

But when pressed about the game's wholly undemanding difficulty level, those close to the former poultry worker remarked that Checker looked 'aggrieved and unhappy'. However, while playing online or local wi-fi multiplayer, his mood was said to have "visibly improved".

7/10