This week's game announcements
That was the news.
Don't say we never do anything for you, because we've only gone and summarised this week's game announcements for you in a handy article of words. So, plunge your reader-spoon into our bowl of news-filth, and emerge with a tasty mouthful of game announcement-crunch.
Perhaps the biggest announcement to slam into our chins this week was that Mercenaries 2: World in Flames was no longer PS3 exclusive, meaning PC, Xbox 360 and PS2 will all be joining the open-world action when the game is released around Christmas this year
Pandemic Studios is brimming with steroid-like excitement at the chance to work with next-generation technology, and Electronic Arts seems confident the developer will once again produce the goods.
Meanwhile Sony has belted out that SingStar: Pop Hits will extend the tuneful PS2 series of sing-a-long sizzlers with Scissor Sisters, Britney (who is now bald, we're told) and U2 lining-up to test your vocal voracity this April.
If that all sounds a little too much like hard work, then relax, as THQ plans to rework classic toilet-companion Tetris for Xbox 360. It might be a little difficult to take your console into the John, but there's plenty to make up for this, with four-player Xbox Live support and fancy graphics touted for the game's US release in March.
Armoured Core 4 will no longer make the European PS3 launch, unfortunately, moving instead to 27th April. 505 Games has bashfully confirmed we will see an Xbox 360 version, though it's ambiguous about exactly when we can expect it.
Nintendo has bellowed that Hotel Dusk: Room 215 will be open for use in Europe on 13th April, a second game from the Another Code developer that will pop you in the shoes of New York cop Kyle Hyde, who finds himself exploring a mysterious hotel where all is not as it seems.
What is as it seems is Atari announcing the 26th Dragon Ball Z game, which will appear on PSP in May. The anime-based series has sold over 10 million units since the series' launch in May 2002, and this latest version will let you pit spiky-haired Manga-men against each other using the wireless capabilities of Sony's handheld.
Halo 3 got a semi-official release date too, this week, with a big image on Bungie's website slapping the words "fall" (autumn) across our chops.
Black Bean has roared onto the release schedule with SBK: Superbike World Championship, which is due for the starting grid on PC and Xbox 360 in October, as well as PS2 and PSP in April. And yes, it's got motorbikes in it.
NC Soft also announced plans to expand Lineage II again, by adding a whole new storyline to the MMO, in addition to buckets of fantasy-findings like new items, shadow weapons, quests, and that sort of lark. Watch out for the free update sometime in April.
Last but not least is a little mention of the new Football Manager Quiz for mobile. It's been squashed from a pub machine into a handheld puzzler, and is rolling out across major networks now.
That was our week in news. Why don't you join us again next week for much the same thing? Join us.