Redeye

"People want a lot of answers"

Redeye

1 week ago

This doesn't just have 'fail' stamped all over it, it has 'absolute disaster' stamped all over it in forty-foot-high neon-hued capital letters.

And as for this wingnut trying to evangelise the whole sorry mess, 'clueless' just about begins the description.
23 0

When Sam Fisher realises he's the last stealth video game hero

Redeye

2 weeks ago

Dear Ubisoft,

Employ Kojima for shiggles.

Yours, etc.
1 0

Guitar Hero expert completes Through the Fire and Flames without making a single mistake - blindfolded

Redeye

3 months ago

Fair play to the lad, that was on the verge of making me trip out just watching it, let alone play the bloody thing.

And surprisingly, some of the comments here even manage to surpass the usual level of EG trollery/stupidity. Give yourselves a round of applause. In the face. With a bass.
4 0

Legendary cover artist Bob Wakelin passes away

Redeye

3 months ago

Absolutely gutted. A really nice guy, and his artwork was a constant, especially during my journo years; a true cornerstone of the 8 and 16-bit eras.

Rest well, Bob - you've more than earned it.

:(
1 0

Eurogamer readers' top 50 games of 2017

Redeye

4 months ago

Now let's have the readership's 50 worst games of the year. #carnage
6 0

The year in Nazis

Redeye

4 months ago

If punching Nazis is good enough for Indy Jones, it's damned well good enough for me.

EDIT: And many, many lulz at the couple of obvious Nazi sympathisers who negged me. May your faces melt in the fires of the Ark.
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EA not giving up on microtransactions in Star Wars Battlefront 2

Redeye

5 months ago

Dear EA,

Suck a fart right out of my arse.

Yours, etc.
11 3

EA DICE talks Star Wars Battlefront 2 loot crates and changes

Redeye

6 months ago

Looking forward to buying this...from CEX.

No crinkly folding for you, EA, you grubby fuckwits.
8 1

EA has shut down Visceral Games

Redeye

6 months ago

To whom it may concern amongst the mucky-mucks at EAHQ,

Please, kindly feel free to do yourselves and each other repeatedly with the largest, most powerful howitzer you can obtain, and subsequently fuck right off to the farthest reaches of the yet-to-be-discovered universe.

Yours, with about as much respect as you've shown your corporate acquisitions (may they all RIP),

Gamers pretty much everywhere.
1 1

DICE offers clarification on Star Wars: Battlefront 2's controversial crate system

Redeye

7 months ago

Dear EA,

Jog on, you greedy, deluded mooseknuckles.

Yours,

Someone who wouldn't spend a red penny on your 'microtransaction' bullshit.
2 0

Digital Foundry: Hands-on with Switch's 'impossible' Doom port

Redeye

7 months ago

Great work, Rich - very much looking forward to giving Switch Doom a thorough workout myself. And, as many others have said, gotta love how scalable IDTech6 is. :)
1 1

Near mint: A conversation with game collectors

Redeye

8 months ago

In comparative terms, I've only just started on my console collection (sixteen machines so far, including a 'heavy sixer' VCS, a Colecovision, an Intellivision and a Vectrex, and a handful of games for all of them), and excellent articles like this inspire me to keep going. They might not all be in perfect nick, and some of the older game boxes are showing their age, but you really can't beat a good thrash on Pitfall, or Starwing, or Venture, or Sega Rally, or Power Stone, or Mine Storm, or Tron Deadly Discs, or...
2 0

Video: Remember the little ways games used to be worse

Redeye

9 months ago

Apart from number 7 (which still applies wholeheartedly in this so-called 'golden age' of gaming), the rest of that video is either so tongue-in-cheek that said organ is wrapped several times around your oesophagus as a result, or has to go down as the biggest load of whiny, whinging old bollocks it's been my misfortune to encounter.

"Ugh, I've only got three lives and three minutes to complete this level! And it's underwater! And most of the bad guys are recoloured sprites!"

Get a grip.
0 0

DF Retro: we play every single Sega 32X game

Redeye

9 months ago

@Xeall Absolutely, definitely not one for throwing what little money I've got around like confetti! Just thought I'd have a butcher's at what was on offer, given the nature of the article (and the Angry Videogame Nerd review where he managed to grab one for $2.50). :)
0 0

Redeye

9 months ago

What's even more extraordinary are the prices that these things are going for on eBay at the moment. 250!? You're having a bubble.
3 0

SFANS portable dock for Nintendo Switch review

Redeye

9 months ago

I dunno, you bloody kids and your 'I can't be bothered to lug a small bit of plastic around to my mate's gaff because I'm a lazy beggar' and not knowing the horror of carting an old 8-bit system round to said mate's gaff, replete with a power brick you could kill someone with and 27 cartridges because no sod could make their mind up what to play.

Npw get off my bloody lawn.
3 2

SNES mini pre-orders already on eBay with huge markup

Redeye

10 months ago

Original hardware and a big fat ol' CRT to play it on FTW. :)
0 0

Microsoft E3 2017 live report

Redeye

11 months ago

Well, that was gash.
0 0

Redeye

11 months ago

Aaaaaaaaand no.

Five hundred sheets?

On your bike.
1 0

Redeye

11 months ago

Tiny pianist.
0 0

Redeye

11 months ago

SUPER DUPER...oh, I give up.
0 0

Redeye

11 months ago

MASSIVE SERVERS
0 0

Redeye

11 months ago

And this is why e-sports are total bollocks.
0 0

Redeye

11 months ago

Stuff this, I'm off for a dump.
0 0

Redeye

11 months ago

Dull AF.
0 0

Redeye

11 months ago

Yawn...sorry mate, but on a scale of one to ten, bugger off.
0 0

Redeye

11 months ago

So far, so ungripped.
0 0

Redeye

11 months ago

Woo, dinky. :D
0 0

Redeye

11 months ago

What a road of old borrocks.

Waiting for the next box to be called FourEcks. #pratchett
0 0

Gears of War movie is still go, gets Avatar screenwriter

Redeye

12 months ago

"Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem"

*record scratch*

Well, that's this fucked, then. :/
3 0

Fan gets free trip to BlizzCon after finding long-lost StarCraft gold master

Redeye

12 months ago

Ye gods, there really are some entitled mooseknuckles out there in the world.

"Wah wah wah, we didn't get our grubby mitts on something we never knew existed until someone else decided to return it to its rightful owner."

Twunts.
10 2

Star Wars Battlefront 2's campaign will take players to the dark side

Redeye

1 year ago

PSVR and DICE/Criterion going full TIE Fighter on this would be a bloody tempting proposition.
18 1

Nintendo Switch out 3rd March for 279.99

Redeye

1 year ago

@killuminati2911 True enough, but don't forget that the N64 had a 25% price cut *two months* after its launch.
1 0

Redeye

1 year ago

Hmm, for a company purportedly not interested in playing in the same ballpit as Sony and Microsoft, all of this info seems to portray things differently. I foresee a price drop on the cards in the short-term, because I'm not sure that price strategy is going to do Ninty a lot of favours outside of the early adopter/hardcore fanboy market. Some nice features, though; just a little too pricy for my tastes at the mo.
1 0

Let's remember GamesMaster's most infamous incident, broadcast 20 years ago

Redeye

1 year ago

Ah, Dave Perry and Dominik Diamond...there's a pair of useless twunts with the combined affection level of crotch-rot.

EDIT: Seems to be quite a lot of affection here for crotch-rot - you learn something new every day.
4 13

Everything new in the Nintendo Switch trailer

Redeye

2 years ago

249 and we are most definitely talking. 199 and all hell will break loose.

And I can't see the 'pixie' controllers being an issue, TBH...not as if the buttons on the Wii remotes were enormous, by any means.

Loving the massive middle finger to other tech companies by going with cartridges and a 3.5in jack, too.

Yeah, more than likely sold, barring something really dumb on Ninty's part (like a 300+ price point).
5 1

No Man's Sky subreddit shut down, community erupts

Redeye

2 years ago

'Exploded'. 'Erupted'. Ye gods, what a crock of whiny, entitled nonsense.

Someone call 2009 and order a bloody waaaaahmbulance.

*goes back to trying to get Fairlight to load first time on the Spectrum*
2 1

The Sinclair ZX Spectrum Vega+ has an October release date

Redeye

2 years ago

Personally, I'd rather have the original hardware (to go along with my other retro systems), but each to their own. That signed Speccy that Hewson posted, however - WANT. :D
0 0

The man behind one of Steam's most controversial games is back

Redeye

2 years ago

Now there's a grade-one BS merchant if ever I saw one. And I've worked with/for a few. #avoidliketheplague
0 0

Sonic boom: Ellie Gibson on nostalgia, novelty, and that 9/10

Redeye

2 years ago

Ah, the memories of Fine Fare, Cartier's and Wavy Line, not to mention a Sonic game that wasn't completely awful.

"Also, a "fun" Sonic game is to type "*your name* The Hedgehog" into Google and marvel at the bad DeviantArt creations."

MY EYES. :eek:
2 0

Atari to refocus on online games, gambling and LGBT audience

Redeye

4 years ago

I think the only thing that interests me about this latest 'regeneration' of Atari is exactly what assets it has left, if any.
0 0

Wintry survival sim Midwinter is getting a remake in 2015

Redeye

4 years ago

Absolutely fantastic news, and definitely one to look forward to. All the very best to you and the team, Dan - was astonished how Mike managed to get it all into the 16-bits back in the day. :D
1 0

Third EA-owned company loses its leaders this month

Redeye

4 years ago

@riz23 Absolutely spot-on. Would put cold, hard cash that this is purely the result of a clause period coming to conclusion, and as such Byatte and Wee are free to depart with a nice, healthy sum of money to do with as they see fit.
5 0

Letter from America: The highs and lows of 2013

Redeye

4 years ago

Earliest gaming memory? Pong. Yep, the honest-to-goodness original Atari cabinet, at a Pontins holiday camp outside of Great Yarmouth, waaaaay back in 1976. My six-year-old self spent the whole week challenging anyone and everyone...ah, memories. :)

Desert island game? Original Pac-Man upright - so that once I've hit the scramble screen on level 0(256), I could use it as a boat to sail off into the sunset. ;)

Most treasured game? Gauntlet...indeed, a hit-and-hope review of the Atari 8-bit version got me into games journalism. Heck, the fact that US Gold saw fit to make an Atari 8-bit version in the first place was surprising enough! :D

#oldfart :p
0 0

Xbox One available this November in the UK priced 429

Redeye

5 years ago

Four hundred and thirty quid?!?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...no.

#corporatesuicide #3DOalloveragain etc.
6 1

EA wants its peers to be Apple, Google, Facebook, not Take-Two, Activision and Ubisoft

Redeye

6 years ago

EA - talking absolute bollocks since...well, before Trip sold up.
2 0

What if people don't like Jon Hare's first original game since Sensible Software?

Redeye

6 years ago

Would love a Wizball conversion (note: not a remake, re-imagining or any other such nonsense)...wonder if Jon managed to get the rights back from Ocean?
1 0

Lords of Midnight creator Mike Singleton dies

Redeye

6 years ago

A true legend of the industry and a really nice guy; had the pleasure of meeting him when the first Midwinter was doing the promotional rounds.

RIP, good sir.
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EA's Gibeau claims it isn't neglecting single player games after all

Redeye

6 years ago

Frank Gibeau - taking the art of talking absolute bollocks to near-transcendental levels.

Here's a thought, Frank - how about you just go away now, shut your piehole and never darken our doorsteps again?
2 1

Eurogamer.net Podcast #122: 1986-1992 A History

Redeye

6 years ago

1986...the year I started working in this nuthouse of an industry.

Ouch. :/ #notgettinganyyounger
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