Writing about games was a lot simpler 15 years ago. Back then, before websites really took off, magazines were competing with a handful of other publications rather than dozens. It was a lot easier to get away with trawling out lazy old cliches and recycling jokes.
Finally released this week, Evolution Studios' MotorStorm Apocalypse marks the arrival of another high-quality, high-profile first-party release for the PlayStation 3. Sporting state-of-the-art environment deformation, 1080p and 3D support, superb dynamic lighting and an even more refined version of the franchise's remarkable physics engine, this is still clearly a MotorStorm game, albeit one quite unlike of its predecessors.
We hate you and we want you to suffer.
It's less than a week now until four scientifically chosen Eurogamer readers journey to the promised land of London to compete for a some-expenses-paid holiday to E3 in Los Angeles and a massive 3DTV.
MotorStorm was never the sort of racer to play nicely or encourage gentlemanly conduct, but for its third PS3 incarnation the series looks set to crank its destructive tendencies up to 11. Set in and around a San Francisco-styled city during a major earthquake, populated by warring gangs of lunatics, it takes the rough and tumble racing that series fans know and love, and injects a retina-dazzling dose of disaster movie bombast into the mix.
Two consoles running MotorStorm Apocalypse. Two massive televisions. A lot of high quality junk food. And eight men. But only four places available at Sony's epic Apocalypse event in London next month. We're at a secret, highly coveted Brighton location (OK, the gig room upstairs at our mate's pub) to decide which of eight Eurogamer readers - scientifically chosen according to their gaming prowess/ability to fill in a web form - will be put forward to represent us against readers from other websites and magazines in bloody vehicular combat. Etc.
MotorStorm: Apocalypse is the latest in the PlayStation 3-exclusive series from Evolution Studios, a developer that's just finished showing off its sparkly racer at Eurogamer Expo 2010.
If there's music playing at the end of the world, it will probably be dubstep, the brutally slow, lurching concoction of industrial beats and weapons-grade bass distortion currently dominating the dancefloors of London and the teenage bedrooms of Antwerp. If there's music playing at crusty extreme sports festivals - like the festival of outlaw off-road racing that's the fantasy of the MotorStorm games - around the world right now, it's probably dubstep too.