Final Fantasy V Advance

Final Fantasy V Advance

Final Fantasy V Advance

14 years later...

In the days before Sony started making videogame consoles and Sega stopped, when Microsoft made Windows and Nintendo made millions, when games came on cartridges not discs and there were no such things as ROM files or emulators or IPS fan translation patches, and buses ran on time and children were seen and not heard and don't you know I fought in two world wars you ungrateful etc.

At that time, the only way this freshly pubescent correspondent could play and understand Final Fantasy V was to traipse over to a shady import shop in London, hand over 60, trawl whatever Internet search engine we used to have before Google and print out 400 pages of badly translated dialogue from a text-only website run by a Spanish man with terrifying dyslexia. Then painstakingly, I'd play the game using one of those foot high Super Famicom adapters on my SNES and try and keep track of the narrative on the A4 print out. Which was harder than you'd think what with the streams of kanji on screen seemingly condensed into the kind of wounded-pigeon English I'd probably speak if I were a pig farmer from Latvia who learned the language from the ingredients checklist on the back of a bootleg can of Coca-Cora. PS3 delayed until March? Boo-fricking-hoo. Seriously, you kids don't know you're even born these days.

So, for all these reasons, you're bloody well going to be grateful that today, fourteen years after it first launched, you have the opportunity to play Final Fantasy V on your GBA without the need of a sabbatical and government funding for the privilege. Of course, all of this could have been avoided if Square-Enix had bothered to release the game on the Super Nintendo in the West in the first place, but we'll forgive them that as they've clearly learned their lessons now what with being so prompt in bringing over Final Fantasy XII to us Eurogamers. Oh. Right.

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