Dungeon Siege: Throne of Agony

Uwe Boll gets lifetime Razzie award

Dungeon Siege also up for five trophies.

Uwe Boll is to be recognised for his contribution to movies by the organisers of the Golden Raspberry Awards - otherwise known as the Razzies.

Dungeon Siege: Throne of Agony

Dungeon Siege: Throne of Agony

Time to break out the Anusol.

Recently, I've been contemplating buying one of those fancy Aeron chairs. The justification is the same as when I spent a vast amount of money on an enormous flat-screen monitor; as not only a sedentary gamer, but a sedentary gamer who stops playing games and proceeds to be even more sedentary by writing about them for a living, I spend really rather a lot of time in a chair, in front of a screen. My regular bus route into town, which brings me past the Home Office building in Westminster, sealed the deal; everyone who works there has an Aeron chair, and all they do all day is release criminals, lose records and brainstorm new ways of letting John Reid watch you going to the toilet. None of them has to heft a PSP in service of a legion of readers desperate for information on the latest games. They don't know what real work is.

So I've been examining the Aeron website, which basically promises that in return for handing over enough money to buy a lot of Twix bars, my back and butt will be supported in a manner not unlike being gently held aloft by a cohort of angels with hands so soft that they must have been previously employed to squirt Fairy liquid at God's own kitchen sink. With each passing day, the initially absurd asking price seems more and more reasonable. Each morning and evening, I regard my humble 50 quid office chair with increasing contempt. I lean back violently, hoping secretly to hear a telltale cracking noise which will give me an excuse to throw the accursed thing out and acquire for my bottom the executive-level pleasure it deserves. Alternatively, that sound could mean that I'm going to spend the rest of my life building my schedule around visits to the chiropractor. If I wait for the chair to break, it could already be too late. The Aeron draws ever nearer.

Dungeon Siege: Throne of Agony is not a game about my office chair. The clue is in the first part of the name - I do not live in a dungeon (although I'm informed that my neighbourhood, Vauxhall, is amply equipped with such things), and nor is my house under siege, unless you count the never-ending barrage of leaflets from vendors who fry rats and call it chicken. No, I merely point out the interesting correlation here to let you know that as your chosen reviewer for this title, I bring to the table some pretty serious experience of the topic at hand. When it comes to Thrones of Agony, I'm an expert in the matter. I can empathise.

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