One of the great mysteries of our time is why on Earth Microsoft gave the green light to a remake of an N64 game that Nintendo saw fit to wash its hands of four years ago. Although Conker's Bad Fur Day was well-received at the time, its demented price tag or £60 or more meant precious few people ever got to play it. Just 25,000 hardy souls took the plunge in the UK. But, if you ask us, the fact that it got talked about at all had more to do with the game's profanity-laden novelty value and Rare's then-lofty status than anything to do with the game's genuine quality.
Frankly, if you'd just written the cheque for $375 million to buy Rare on that heady day in the summer of 2002, you'd have expected - nay, demanded - that three years later Microsoft would be striding confidently down the gold-paved streets of Hitsville. The reality, of course, is somewhat more demoralising than that. Not content with failing so spectacularly with Grabbed By The Ghoulies, we're now forced to squelch through the mire of this distinctly average platformer all over again but Now With Added Live Content. These are real tears we're crying here.
Command and Conker